So here's the thing about Rocky Jones, Space Ranger. On paper, it sounds like something I should enjoy. Two guys in baseball caps fly through space rescuing people and marveling at crude special effects. The problem, however, is that one of the guys is named Winky, and Rocky Jones himself is just so...dull.

Let's start with Winky. No man, no boy should ever be named Winky. I know Wee Willy set the precedent, but is he really someone after whom you would want to model your life? Jack Spratt, maybe. He had a sensible diet regiment. But not Wee Willy Winky. Winky is the sort of name a little kid gives to his penis. It is not the name of a swashbuckling space cadet. Now, you may defend Winky by citing precedent for all airplane/space rocket sidekicks and mechanics to have a cutesy nickname -- Corky being the most common. I will grant you that but still maintain that Winky falls well outside the boundaries of acceptable wacky nicknames for your co-pilot or mechanic. Corky, definitely, or Greasy or Slim. Not Winky. Winky could be an OK name for a Smurf, one who gets a disturbing nervous facial twitch every time he sees Handy Smurf, but not a space a ranger.

On top of that, actor Scotty Beckett (who, incidentally, played a character named Corky in a couple Gasoline Alley movies just prior to his stint as Winky in the Rocky Jones series) plays Winky like a Jerry Lewis inspired man-child, minus the pratfalls.

And Rocky Jones? Well, he's no Dean Martin. He's no Flash Gordon. And nope, he's no Buck Rodgers, either. He's sort of like what you'd get if a typical 1950s father became a space ranger. Strong, authoritative, yes, but never exciting or surprising. As far as space rangering go, he approaches it with cautious responsibility, which may be the proper way to do things but doesn't always make for thrilling episodes. He doesn't punch nearly enough people.

Treeline's 50-movie DVD set of sci-fi classics hits you with two Rocky Jones movies in a row -- I assume they're episodes of the television series edited together into a feature length film. Crash of the Moons is presented first, and tells the tale of Rocky and Winky (and you thought Bruce and Dick in Batman afforded easy gay jokes) as they struggle to keep two wandering gypsy moons from crashing into one another and exterminating the cultures that live 'pon each. Since these culture seem to value women in a futuristic space mini-skirts, you can see why they're worth saving. Unfortunately, the leader of one of the worlds is not especially cooperative. The movie also throws in a little kid admirer of Rocky Jones so we have someone besides Winky to pout, "Aww, gee whiz, cap!" Bobby manages to be even more irritating than Winky, but we expect that of little kids. Winky is a grown man, for crying out loud! The rest of the cast is rounded out by proper space gal Vena Ray (Sally Mansfield) and "hilariously" absent-minded Professor Newton (Maurice Cass).

The characters aren't interesting, the action drags (Rocky needs to get in more fist fights), and most of it is pretty silly, even for the time. It's not as much fun as it should be, but it still manages to be some fun, mostly because of my previously declared affinity for old sci-fi films. On the positive side, the plot is actually pretty involved, especially compared to modern sci-fi films which jettison plot and use sci-fi trappings to dress up big, dumb action movies. Rocky Jones isn't the sort of film you're going to trot out to convince naysayers that old sci-fi fare is actually pretty good, but if you're already in the camp, and if you can develop part of your brain to screen out anyone named Winky, it's harmless enough fun.

The Rocky Jones series lasted only one season, primarily because producers found the sets and costumes too involved and complex to keep the show financially viable and on a decent time schedule. That may seem a ludicrous claim looking at the end results on the screen today, but compare Rocky Jones to any other television show (not movie) from the same era, and you'll see just how advanced it was. Like most things, not all of their visions and ambitions were pulled off successfully, and indeed the original Buck Rogers and Flash Gorden serials were more of a visual feast, but for a modest kid's show from 1953 or 1954, Rocky Jones doesn't look half bad. I'd actually consider it pretty good stuff for a kid, much better than the live-action sci-fi kids get now, which is nothing but bad martial arts against cheap-looking monsters, followed with a syrupy moral delivered so ham-fistedly that even the writers of After School Specials cringe.

Disc four, side two concludes with a second Rocky Jones feature cobbled together from episodes of the television show, this one titled Menace from Outer Space. Unlike the previous Rocky Jones movie, I haven't seen this one before, and I'm actually kind of looking forward to it.

Labels: Set: Sci-Fi Classics