1978, Italy. Starring Maurizio Merli, Olga Karlatos, Massimo Serato, Nello Pazzafini, Mario Feliciani, Mimmo Palmara, Marco Gelardini, Attilio Duse. Written by Gino Capone and Teodoro Corra. Directed by Stelvio Massi.

It's rare that I will watch a supposed tough action film star and feel compelled to yell, "You da man!" In fact, I can't think of any point in my life that I would feel compelled to yell that. But I will get close in the case of Italian action star Maurizio Merli, for whom I will nod, smile, and quietly say, "You are a bad mother fucker, Maurizio."

The sum total of movie stars I consider to be "bad mother fuckers" is small. Pam Grier is a bad mother fucker. Bruce Lee is a bad mother fucker. Jet Li is cool, but he's not a bad mother fucker. And you know they say that cat Shaft is a baaaad mother ... shut your mouth! They pretty much stopped making bad mother fuckers in the 1970s, with only a precious couple being made since then. By far the number one, if not only, bad mother fucker of the 1990s is Takeshi Kitano, a Japanese actor (among other things) who, in many ways, reminds me of one of the greatest bad mother fucker of them all, Maurizio Merli.

Merli is best known, at least to readers of this website, as the star of one of my very favorite films, and one of the best action films ever made, Violent Napoli. In that, he played a tough as nails police inspector who beats ass on every criminal within a hundred mile radius. In Convoy Buster, he makes a dramatic departure. This time around, he plays a tough as nails police inspector who beats ass on every criminal within a two hundred mile radius.

The basic lesson you learn from any of these poliziotteschi films is don't fuck with Maurizio Merli. It's like those When Animals Attack videos. If you put your head in a lion's mouth while you shove a wolverine up its ass, there's a good chance either the lion, the wolverine, or both will take your soft pink simian hide to wilderness school. Similarly, if you threaten Maurizio Merli, he will kick you in the teeth, break your nose, and look like a million bucks while he's doing it.

I don't remember his character's name in this movie, and I'm too lazy to look it up, but in any poliziotteschi film, there's a 75% chance that the main character's name is Inspector Nico. Anyway, Merli plays the baddest cop in the crime-torn city of Rome, circa the mid 1970s. When he isn't beating the shit out of criminals, and it's rare that he isn't beating the shit out of at least some criminal (probably even when he is taking a shower), he spends most of the movie doing what all rogue cops are required to do, which is give angry impassioned speeches about the sorry state of police affairs and society. You can pretty much sum up each of these conversations with the following bit of dialogue.

"Inspector, your methods are too controversial."

"My methods get results!"

"Your methods get us in trouble with the press, with citizen's groups -- do you know I was getting chewed out by the mayor all morning."

"I'm sorry about your political problems. I have a bigger problem, and that's this system. Your system protects the guilty and punishes the innocent. Citizens are prisoners in their own homes while criminals and lawyers run wild."

"Damnit, inspector! You go too far! You work for the judiciary system!"

"I work for justice, not for the system."

At which time, the inspector will walk out, leaving the beleaguered chief to eat the dust of righteousness. Slight variations may occur, but the spirit is always the same.

Cliche as they may be, no one delivers the "indignant public servant" spiel as Merli. He don't take no shit from The Man. Merli always plays an interesting figure. He works for the system without being part of it. In Violent Napoli, I compared him to John Shaft or Kojak, and the comparison still stands here. Probably more like Kojak than anyone else -- the warrior with a broken heart. The man who wants to help society, to protect the innocent, but is frustrated at every turn by corruption, incompetence, politics, and bureaucracy.

His role as Rome's number one ass kicker gets him on a lot of Mafia shitlists, and before too long, Merli finds he can scarcely walk down the street without someone trying to assassinate him. When he mistakenly shoots and kills an innocent man he thought was an assassin, Merli realizes he'll never be the victor in a place as twisted and corrupt as Rome. He vows to never fire his gun again, resigns his position, and leaves the city.

He takes a post in a small town by the ocean, where the biggest crime seems to be the occasional drunken ass grabbing by some local louts. Once Merli kicks their asses across Europe and back, they fall into place and everything seems good. He even gets himself a fine woman. Life, it would seem, couldn't be more perfect.

At least until Merli starts snooping around some strange happenings down at the fishing docks. He soon uncovers a gun smuggling operation right in the middle of his idyllic ocean hamlet and, with weary dedication to his job, realizes he must break out his ass kicking shoes one more time.

The convoy he busts, incidentally, has nothing to do with Kris Kristoferson. It's the string of trucks that drive to the beach to pick up all the illegal guns. Make no mistake about it, though, if I found out there was a movie where Maurizio Merli did beat the unholy Hell out of Kris Kristoferson, I'd be first in line to see it.

Convoy Buster isn't as vicious as Merli's Violent Rome but it's a better movie, and it's not as good as Violent Napoli but it's a little less brutal. Merli shines, as usual. I compared him to Takeshi Kitano earlier. Both men make similar movies and play similar characters -- tough, quiet guys who can do more acting with a simple flicker of the face or move of the eye than most stars can do with their whole body. Both men are subtle and understated, but when the time comes for fisticuffs, explode in violent whirlwinds. I think any fan of Kitano films like Violent Cop and Hana-Bi should definitely be sinking their teeth into Maurizio Merli films like Convoy Buster and Violent Napoli.

Violent Napoli is his best film, and one of the bets action films of all time, but Convoy Buster runs a close second. It is packed with tons of action and violence, a fast pace, and a healthy dose of wit and charm.

The message here is a somewhat bleak one. Merli leaves Rome to escape the corruption and violence only to discover it can exist anywhere so long as people are willing to turn a blind eye and put up with it. Even in victory, the inspector learns a harsh lesson and is forced to reload his gun one last time, much like Ling the swordsman in Swordsman II, who was a man who simply wanted to retire to the mountains to sing and drink but kept finding himself pulled into the petty squabbles and power struggles of the world, forced to draw the sword he swore he would never again use.

One thing is certain. Put together a force including Ling, Kojak, and Maurizio Merli, and the world would be a better place. They may sigh about it and mourn the state of the troubled world, but they'll still find time to beat you silly.

Labels: Country: Italy, Poliziotteschi, Stars: Maurizio Merli, Year: 1978