1971, Japan. Starring Akira Yamauchi, Toshie Kimura, Hiroyuki Kawase, Keiko Mari, Toshio Shibaki, Yukihiko Gondo, Eisaburo Komatsu, Haruo Nakajima, Susumu Okabe, Tadashi Okabe, Wataru Omae, Kenpachiro Satsuma. Directed by Yoshimitsu Banno. Buy it from Amazon.

So this is what happens when Godzilla writers drop acid and watch a bunch of Matt Helm films. I think I am in the minority in liking this film, which is easily the weirdest damn Godzilla film ever made, and also the hippest. It has more scenes of wild, sexy go-go dancing Japanese girls in white boots and psychedelic mini-skirts than any other Japanese monster movie. Add crazy-ass psychedelic backgrounds pulsating in the back (those ones that are always superimposed over Jimmy Hendrix performances), and you have a serious kaiju freaka. Body painting, swirly catsuits, man you just can't go wrong with this stuff!

Godzilla films often have a subplot involving man's disregard for nature. In fact, Japanese sci-fi in general is all about upsetting the balance of the planet. Funny stuff coming from the one nation that refused to stop slaughtering endangered whales and still likes to buy mass quantities of powdered endangered species for use as aphrodisiacs. DID THEY LEARN NOTHING FROM SPECTREMAN!?!!?

Godzilla Versus Hedorah is the most overtly political of all the Godzilla films, with the possible exception of Godzilla's Revenge. Some movies chose to serve you the ideology in small, subtle ways. Godzilla Versus Hedorah serves it to you as a giant monster kicking over buildings and spewing acid onto hippies. Normally, this would be a good thing, but this must have been some of that brown acid everyone was warned about. I guess a light, subtle touch has never been a staple of the Godzilla franchise.

So what we have here is a monster born of sludge and industrial waste. Hedorah actually looks a lot like that disastrous food item some Japanese company tried to market a few years ago. It was made of reconstituted sewage and was supposed to be full of nutrients. The only problem was that they didn't disguise the origin, and no one wanted to eat a black-green fruit roll-up that was once in someone's ass. Anyway, Hedorah looks liked that.

Hedorah can also transform into three states -- flying Hedorah, stomping Hedorah, and swimming Hedorah. The flying Hedorah spreads deadly acid clouds as it flies. This doesn't sit well with Godzilla, now firmly planted in his superheroic "defender of humanity" personae. So one night he strolls into town to take on the gooey gob of evil.

No one seems to notice the two monsters. I mean, there's no evacuation, no mass hysteria, no sirens or jets or anything. Did they sneak into the city? How can you not notice Godzilla fighting a sludge monster in the middle of town?

In fact, this film dispenses with a number of traditional Godzilla elements -- there is no evacuation scene. No Akira Ifukube soundtrack. No aliens or fairies. Most of the monster action takes place at night. It's a weird feeling Godzilla movie, very different and strange. But you still got the little kid in micro-shorts, though this one isn't so bad. On the Ichiro scale, he only rates a 5, at best.

But Godzilla isn't strong enough! Is it possible that man's carelessness and irresponsibility have created an environmental monstrosity even Godzilla can't handle?

Hedorah splits and takes to eating factory pollution, since pollution is what gives Hedorah it's nourishment. This actually seems like a benefit of having a Hedorah around. But it keeps squirting acid on people, and you just can't do that, not even in the 1970s. Some go-go dancers, Bohemians, and hippy kids decide to have a big dance on Mount Fuji to summon good vibes and make Hedorah disappear. Of course, Hedorah comes by and squirts acidic sludge on everyone. Important lesson there -- you can't combat environmental destruction with good intentions or pointless songs. You've got to take an active role. Art is not enough to make the world right. It takes physical work.

Luckily, Godzilla is there to be the Earth First to their hippy peace circle. He's ready to kick pollution's ass, and this time he has some back-up in the form of the Japanese military and the scientist who discovered the origins of Hedorah. Now, if you've learned one thing from a Godzilla film, it's that he can magically have bestowed upon him powers that help him beat his enemy, like in Godzilla Versus MechaGodzilla when out of nowhere he has the power to magnetize his body.

Well, that's nothing. In this one, he uses his atomic breath to actually propel himself backwards through the sky. Yes, using his breath as a jet engine, he can fly! This is the one and only movie where Godzilla goes airborne in any fashion beyond Rodan picking him up and dropping him on stuff. When you see it, you will know why.

I don't care what the critics say! I love Godzilla Versus Hedorah in all its puzzling, heavy-handed glory. It has tons of monster action, a weird "drunken super Godzilla" theme song, weird animated bits, more monster action, cute beatnik girls in go-go boots and body stockings, and a flying Godzilla! It has that "Save the Earth" theme song. It certainly doesn't have the same tone or look of other Godzilla films. The color is more muted (and Godzilla films would become garish in their use of color as the 1970s progressed). It has funky music. It has a message about taking care of the Earth, and about man's responsibility for cleaning up his own mess. If you expect someone else to do it for you (Godzilla) or just write songs about it and dance, you'll be set upon by a monster. Only when mankind rolls up it's collective sleeves and plunges their hands into the heart of the mess can progress be made.

Nerd note: the Hedorah monster is played by Kenpachiro Satsuma in his first "role." He would go on to be the man in the evil monster suit for many other Godzilla films. He moved on to play Godzilla itself in all the new films, and has even invented a style of karate based on the movements and exercises he must do to properly function in the bulky monster suit. He calls it "Godzilla kempo."

Labels: Country: Japan, Science Fiction: Kaiju, Series: Godzilla, Year: 1971