2000, Japan. Starring Masashi Endo, Kwancharu Shitichai, Makoto Inamiya, Masao Sato, Shiro Namiki, Naruka Nakajo, Yoshiyuki Morishita, Guitar Wolf, Drum Wolf, Bass Wolf. Directed by Tetsuro Takeuchi. Available on DVD (Amazon).

I'm realistic. I am fully aware of the fact that I have seen quite a few "best films I have ever seen." They number in the dozens, if not more, and each and every one of them makes me happy. I live in fear of the day that I can say with any degree of certainty what my favorite movie is, because that means I will have gotten to the point where there is only one movie I can enjoy that much. Not very interesting, if you ask me.

So it goes, then, that I have just seen the best film I have ever seen -- one of several, as I mentioned. The sort of film that makes you yell. The sort of film that makes you kick things over and want to set stuff on fire -- or is that just me? I have seen the sort of film that gives you, or at least me, everything I always want from a film: sexy gals, sexy guys, bucketloads of cool, guns, zombies, explosions, UFOs, and rock 'n' roll. Come on -- if your life had more of each of those things, wouldn't you be having a little bit more fun?

The bast couple years have seen a number of Asian zombie films hit the scene, which has been refreshing since no one else, not even the Italians, seemed all that interesting in reviving the undead genre despite the popularity of games like Resident Evil. I thought for sure that was going to cause a minor resurgence in the number of shambling flesh-eaters we saw shuffling across the screen, but instead we just got more teen slasher films, a genre that impresses me with the fact that just when you think you have seen it reach its most annoying, insipid, and idiotic low, along comes the next movie and is even worse.

Hong Kong's Bio-Zombie was a promising start, and things got better when Japan unleashed Junk, but both of those films had one major weakness: characters you either couldn't stand or simply did not care about. They must have picked that one up from the Italians. What was missing in Asia's slowly growing number of George Romero-inspired zombie funfests was any sense of caring or humanity in the characters. While a zombie still can and often does succeed on a purely visceral level even with characters you'd just as soon see eaten, there's something more engaging about a cast with charisma, a cast that includes people you actually don't grow to hate before the end of their first scene.

In short, what they were missing was a film like Wild Zero, one of the greatest films ever made.

Wild Zero is a shining example of everything Japan has that Hong Kong has lost. As I've said time and time again, Hong Kong desperately needs an underground in order to stay interesting, at least to me and the people out there who don't enjoy Coco Lee albums. They need a music underground and they need a film underground. They currently have very little of either. They also need pro wrestling and Mexican food, but that's a discussion for another time. Japan, on the other hand, not only has Mexican food and pro wrestling, they have one of the greatest underground and fringe scenes in the world. Chalk it up to how repressed the mainstream society is, then throw in a little something about the law of physics stating that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. For every uptight, by-the-books salaryman and stodgy old parent who looks at someone's financial reports before they look at the actual person in order to judge their worth as a potential date for their daughter, for every high-strung, addicted to protocol cog you have in mainstream society, there is a glorious opposite. Someone who doesn't bow down to the incredible pressures Japanese society puts on its citizens to conform and consume, someone who eschews the everyday and looks for something different.

This has given Japan one of the most diverse and wild undergrounds anywhere. From noise music to heavy metal, punk rock to surf guitar, Japan isn't missing a beat. The face of the mainstream may be syrupy mass-market J-pop crap, but lurking not too far beneath the surface are a rowdy bunch of punks, rockers, and freaks who continue to shake things up. We salute them. It's a shame America can't rediscover a bit of that rebel attitude. I guess as we become a more "crazed consumer" society, as we continue to stop being people and continue to become commodities and resources, it'll rekindle a little of what the Japanese underground has been keeping watch over while we've all been too busy wallowing in self-indulgence.

Underground film and music collide in Wild Zero as they only could in Japan. The movie stars, among others, now legendary lo-fi garage punk/rockabilly icons Guitar Wolf as themselves in roles that are not completely unlike what we saw KISS doing in KISS Meets the Phantom. The big difference is that while KISS seemed completely goofy in that movie, Guitar Wolf can't help but seem like the baddest ass bunch of guys on the planet. Rockabilly pompadours, black leather jackets, and "don't give a fuck" attitudes go a long way, and this movie uses them all perfectly.

The story opens with Ace, a young rockabilly from some nowhere town in the Japanese countryside. Ace is on the verge of being cool but still has a ways to go before he'll be in the big leagues. He's got the hair and the jacket and the Link Wray albums, but there's still something naive and goofy about him. He'll quickly develop into one of the most likeable characters in any zombie movie. Ace is heading out on his none-too-cool motorbike to catch Guitar Wolf playing in a nearby equally no-name town. He also has plans to get himself known as a force to be reckoned with on the rockabilly/garage punk scene by confronting the manager of the club, who must be seen to be believed. He has Little Lord Fontleroy hair, a tennis sweater, and the absolute tightest, shortest shorts ever worn by man. I mean, these things are short and tight even by Japanese standards, and they are the people who gave us all those little kids in Godzilla and Gamera movies. This guy is wearing those same shorts, but he is an adult.

All is not going well for Guitar Wolf, however. Despite the fact that they just put on a successful show featuring microphones that shoot jets of flame out the back, and despite the fact that the club owner grew up with Guitar Wolf, he doesn't want to give them anymore shows. He'd rather focus on sugary bubblegum pop, leaving behind Guitar Wolf's brand of retro rock and roll.

"Rock and roll is dead!" the manager shouts. Ace, who happens to be lingering outside, hears this proclamation and is outraged. He busts into the office, assumes a cool rock and roll stance and yells, "Rock and roll will never die!" He's right, of course. You can have your hip hop and your metal hip hop and your trance and your techno and your electronica. Nothing can take the place of a loud, distorted guitar as far as I'm concerned.

Ace's intrusion causes a shootout between the pistol-packing club owner and the members of Guitar Wolf. Wolf manages to get the better of the club owner, costing him a couple of fingers for his treachery. Ace is decked by a security guard, but after Guitar Wolf emerges victorious from the scuffle, lead guitarist and vocalist Guitar Wolf (the other guys in the band are Bass Wolf and Drum Wolf) slices open his own hand, slices open Ace's hand, and makes them "rock 'n' roll blood brothers." He then gives Ace a whistle and tells him to blow it should he ever find himself in a heap of danger, which of course, he soon will. The members of Guitar Wolf then ride off into the night in a muscle car and on a motorcycle that shoots jets of flame out the back.

So already this is the coolest movie ever made. Obviously it's not taking itself seriously, but even with the wink and the nudge, it's still unbelievably cool. Maybe it's just me. I've always wanted to live in a rock and roll world where you could make things happen just by playing the guitar and snapping your fingers. I think part of what attracted me to punk rock in the first place was that, at least until it's corruption in the latter half of the 1990s, it believed in the rock 'n' roll myth, that rock 'n' roll could change the world, or that it could at least change your life. I know it changed mine. I still can't make things happen just by snapping my fingers, but I'm working on it.

The next day, the story continues with a young cutie named Tobio getting dumped along the side of the road by some freaked out guy who is calling her a pervert. Why? Who knows? She's deadly cute and is keeping the faith by wearing a pair of Converse. She walks to a nearby gas station but can't seem to find anyone who works there. Likewise, a couple tow truck drivers stop by and are similarly baffled by the unlocked doors, fully operational pumps, and complete lack of employees. They all sort of mill about wondering what to do until a crazy-haired young punk busts in to rob the joint. He and his two friends -- a bickering boyfriend and girlfriend -- have driven out to the countryside to see a meteor that recently landed nearby, and this was the best thing they could think of to get traveling money. It doesn't go so well since no one who works at the gas station is around. The whole attempted robbery is foiled when Ace happens by on his way to a show in another town, opens the door, and bloodies the robber's nose by accident, sending him running and crying back to his car.

Meanwhile, a couple yakuza types are driving out to a deserted area to meet with a crazy female arms dealer who is going to sell them some serious firepower for a coming gangland feud. They are stopped on their way by a bunch of people wandering around in the middle of the road. Seemingly not noticing that all these people are gray and covered with gory wounds, one of the yakuza gets out of the car to berate and threaten them, resulting in the first zombie attack of the movie. The zombies are decent, certainly better make-up than we saw in Bio-Zombie though still not quite up to the high standards established by guys like Tom Savini and Gianetto De Rossi.

Back at the gas station, Ace and Tobio have become fast friends and developed immediate crushes on one another. Hey, they are two good lookin' young kids. Why the hell not? The movie reminds you not to take anything very seriously by shooting the whole "shy smile" exchange between the two through a pink heart-shaped cut-out. Awwww! Seriously, Ace and Tobio are easy to like, and it just goes to show you that it's not hard to make characters people will like. I don't know why so many other horror film creators can't get it right. All you have to do is not make them assholes. If they are decent people who are basically nice, there you go. People will like them. If they are selfish dickweeds who shout all the time, then obviously no one will like them. I guess horror writers want you to hate the human characters so you will root for the gore effects. That's fine the first few times you see a gore effect, but after years of them, you start to appreciate a few likeable characters in the mix.

Tobio and Ace part ways at the gas station, with Ace, ever the cool cat, saying, "It would be nice to run into you again sometime." He then sets out on his dippy little motorcycle for the next town and the next rock 'n' roll show.

Catching up with our sorry bunch of would-be gas station robbers, they've parked their van near a lake and are cooling off after their little foray into attempted crimes. No sooner do the boyfriend and girlfriend go off into the woods to argue some more than they are all set upon by a horde of zombies. At the same time, Ace stumbles upon the yakuza types serving as a bloody meal for some zombies while the crazy arms dealer woman finds her own home beseiged by the living dead. Suddenly these guys are everywhere, and as usual they are hungry for the flesh of the living. To make matters just that much more complicated, the vengeful club owner has discovered the whereabouts of Guitar Wolf and is heading off to even the score.

Ace fights his way through the zombies in order to get back to Tobio, who is the first person he thinks of. The two of them hole up in what looks to be an abandoned school building or theater or something. Difficult to tell. As they spend time together, Ace is aware of the fact that he's falling in love fast and hard with Tobio, and she seems to feel the same way about him. Being attacked by zombies is just the sort of thing that will bring two people together, after all. After an awkward kiss, Ace bemoans the fact that he is a total uncool wannabe who only dreams of being as slick as Guitar Wolf. Tobio doesn't mind -- she likes Ace the way he is -- but when she reveals her big secret, the one that got her thrown out of that guy's car when we first met her -- it freaks Ace out so much that he scrambles for another room to get away from her. While Ace wrestles with his emotions, the apparition of Guitar Wolf appears before him, strikes a super-cool rock 'n' roll pose, and tells him that love has no boundaries or rules.

Ace nods in understanding and goes in search of Tobio only to discover that zombies have overrun the building, and she is nowhere to be found. As Ace fights desperately against the zombies, he remembers the whistle. He blows on it, and like Goldar from the Space Giants, Guitar Wolf immediately senses that Ace in in danger. They mount up their flame-spewing vehicles and head off into the night to help their rock 'n' roll blood brother.

And it's around this time that the UFOs start to show up. Did I forget to mention them?

Along the way, Guitar Wolf picks up the boyfriend and girlfriend being chased by zombies. They arrive at the gas station and find it empty -- almost. Guitar Wolf bends down and finds Ace's comb. He shakes his head, realizing that Ace needs their help more than ever since he has such an uncool comb. No sooner does he make this decision than the crazy arms dealing woman pulls up in her armored vehicle with dozens upon dozens of flesh-hungry zombies hot on her trail. Guitar Wolf -- who, by the way, still has his guitar slung over his shoulder -- steps outside and dispatches the zombies in the best way possible: through the use of glowing magic guitar picks that whiz through the air like ninja shurikens and cause zombie heads to start exploding left and right! Oh yes, you heard me correctly. Don't worry though, because it gets even better!

The group eventually finds Ace just in the nick of time, but Ace is just as happy to die for having betrayed Tobio and let her down. Guitar Wolf assumes another cool rock 'n' roll pose and yells at Ace to "Believe in yourself, Ace! Believe in rock 'n' roll!" Ace nods in comprehension and, using some guns supplied by the crazy arms dealing woman, sets out to find Tobio or die trying. Meanwhile, Guitar Wolf and their hangers-on are set upon by zombies attacking the crazy arms dealing woman's storage warehouse, where they've all holed up.

As if enough wasn't going on, the club owner -- completely oblivious to the fact that zombies are everywhere and the sky is filled with UFOs -- finally corners Guitar Wolf for their big showdown, which includes grenades, pistols, and glowing magic powers of rock 'n' roll electricity. In just one of the film's seemingly endless parade of "greatest moments ever," The Captain shoots a grenade into the room where Guitar Wolf is hiding. Guitar Wolf leaps out of the window with bellowing fire around him, shouts "Rock 'n' roll!!!!" as he falls, then lands in a crouched position and immediately tunes his guitar. Drum Wolf and Bass Wolf finally settle matters with the application of a bazooka to the problem. After firing the bazooka and blowing a whole bunch of shit all to hell, they immediately return to drinking whiskey and combing their hair.

Ace fights his way across town and ends up back at the gas station where he and Tobio first met. As fate would have it, she has returned there as well. He runs up to her and gives her a big hug and a kiss, proclaiming his love for her and promising to never leave her side -- he even swears on his leather jacket and rock 'n' roll that he will always be with her. They finally embrace while Guitar Wolf decides to deal with the UFOs once and for all. In one of the greatest scenes in movie history, he stands atop a building while a massive mothership flies overhead. Drawing a glowing samurai sword out of the neck of his guitar, he shouts, "Rock 'n' roll!!!"and proceeds to slice UFOs in half!

By this point I didn't even know how to react. I was just sitting there with a huge smile on my face, perhaps with a bit of drool dripping from the corner of my mouth. Wild Zero had succeeded where so many other films failed: it had blown my mind. I was, in the greatest sense of the phrase, completely and utterly dumbfounded.

The movie ends with Guitar Wolf parting ways with their rock and roll blood brother and his newfound true love. "You don't need this anymore," Guitar Wolf had said earlier, taking back the whistle when Ace found the courage to fight for Tobio. As they stand on the nighttime road, Guitar Wolf gives Ace the last gift he will need: a cooler comb.

"After that night, I never saw Guitar Wolf again," Ace says in voice-over narration. "Courage and rock 'n' roll: that's what he taught me that night."

And as Tobio and Ace ride off into the night, so ends the coolest fucking movie I've seen since the last Japanese biker/rockabilly movie I watched, Crazy Thunder Road. Man alive, I'd kill for a big-screen double feature with these two films. What can I really say about Wild Zero other than it's the greatest movie ever? I mean, it has Japanese rockabillies fighting zombies and UFOs while shouting "rock and roll!!!" It's nonstop energy, and even the slower scenes are fun. Ace and Tobio are two of the most likeable characters in any horror film, and that makes the whole thing much more engaging. The characters you don't like are killed quickly, and even some of them you don't like become more sympathetic as they grow through the course of the film's completely wild, over-the-top zombie action. And hell, you have leather-clad Guitar Wolf throwing magic glowing guitar picks and blowing zombie heads off with the greatest of ease as they tool around a plague-infested countryside on fire-spraying motorcycles.

It goes without saying that if you want deadly seriousness, this is not the film for you. This is not the website for you, either. You know serious people make me want to dance naked on the lawn whilst playing the Pan flute. Well, they would if I had a lawn. And a Pan flute. So let's just say they make me want to dance naked in front of the window whilst playing the harmonica. So anyway, no seriousness, but you do get some actual social commentary that avoids being at all contrived or heavy-handed. It comes across as rock 'n' roll wisdom, and I for one will always take advice from mystical Japanese garage punk rockabilly guys.

This movie has it all. Monsters, aliens, romance, and coolness! The acting is great. Ace and Tobio are engaging and charismatic, and of Guitar Wolf is there to ooze cool, which they do. Ace will have the ladies saying "awww" and Tobio is such a mind-blowing cutie that her big secret will freak out all sorts of the less open-minded people in the audience, which is reason alone to love this film. Everyone else is pretty good as well. And then there's the music. Incredible. Obviously you get a healthy dose of Guitar Wolf's growing ultra-distorted garage punk madness, but filling out the soundtrack are some of the greatest lo-fi garage acts Japan has to offer. Teengenerate, Charlie and the Hot Wheels, Bikini Kill, The Ramblin' Rose, Mad 3, The Vikings, Devil Dogs, Greg Oblivion and the Tip-Tops, and plenty more. With the plot, the characters, and the music, this movie is rock and roll, plain and simple.

It's good to see (or hear) a movie where the soundtrack is more than a series of incidental songs with no real point within the context of the film. Wild Zero makes wonderful use of the music at hand in order to augment the movie, not just to augment record sales as is commonplace in the United States (and maybe elsewhere -- I don't really know). Guitar Wolf's music is obvious in its inclusion, but it's use well in both concert performance scenes and at key points int he action. Something seems that much wilder and cooler when it is accompanied by the sudden scream of "Invader Ace." Most effective after that are the handful of slower songs by Greg Oblivian that increase the power of certain moments tenfold. Tobio and Ace are cute with their shy first encounter at the gas station, but it's made even sweeter with Greg's "Twice As Deep" playing in the background. Using music effectively is something a lot of movies have forgotten. They either throw out completely disconnected pop songs in hopes of selling records rather than meaning anything within the film, or they just pipe in completely bland and predictable John Williams wannabe orchestration. Using music effectively seems to be a dying art, and I was happy to hear it used so amazingly well in Wild Zero. But then, what should I expect from a movie full of rockers?

This isn't the goriest movie int he world, but it has plenty o' grue to keep the bloodhounds happy. Heads explode right and left, and there's the requisite number of throat rippings and intestine gobblings as are required by zombie films. But the gore is not front and center here as it is in weaker zombie films. The characters are the center of the story. Well, the characters and rock 'n' roll. They propel the action instead of the other way around, as it all too often is. See if it isn't more fun to sit through a movie where you actually hope the characters don't die. It makes everything a lot more tense and exciting. And you know that ultimately, I'm a sap, so the struggling romance between Tobio and Ace really serves as the icing on the cake. After all, it ain't rock 'n' roll if it doesn't have some romance, and it couldn't happen between two nicer people.

The love story is what makes me really smile about this film, same way I did with Dead Alive. The scene where Greg Oblivian's strange but endearing "Bad Man on a Toy Piano" is playing while Ace fights zombies after realizing the error in spurning Tobio and Tobio wanders the desolate streets dejected and saddened, all done in slow motion, is one of the most effective and touching romantic moments in any film. And then you have Greg Oblivian again with the song "Twice as Deep" playing when the two finally find one another and Ace swears "on my leather jacket and on rock 'n' roll that I will always love you." I tell ya, not a dry rockabilly eye will be in the room. After all, rockers may be bad boys and girls, but there's an undeniable romanticism behind it all.

Funny that my three favorite romantic films are now Wild Zero, Dead Alive, and Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. You figure that one out.

I really can't say enough good things about Wild Zero. It's an Ed "Big Daddy" Roth drawing come true. Monsters and zombies, rockabillies and romance. It's the most fun I've had at the movies in a long time. It represents everything I love about film and about life. Well, I don't love being chased by zombies, but I guess even that would be more fun if I had a glowing guitar samurai sword and ninja star guitar picks. If you are a fan of zombies, bikers, rock and roll music, action, or just damn good films, then this is the movie for you. After watching it, I wondered what it was I'd liked about other zombie movies so much. With the exception of Dawn of the Dead -- which incidentally was also highlighted by a strong cast of basically likeable characters -- they seem such distant trailers of a movie like this that just does everything right and remains a wild ride from beginning to end. I don't want to use the phrase "If you see only one movie," because as I said at the beginning of this review, I wouldn't want to watch just one film. So watch a lot of films, but make sure this is one of the first ones you grab. It's absolutely fantastic, and that's about as good as things can get.

Labels: Country: Japan, Horror: Zombies, Rock and Roll, Year: 2000