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Wednesday, June 11, 2008James Batman Release Year: 1966Country: Philippines Starring: Dolphy, Boy Alano, Shirley Moreno, Bella Flores, Diane Balen, Elsa Boufard, Nori Dalisay, Johnny Ysmail Jr., Lyn D'Arce, Jose Morelos, Ben Medina, Joy Del Sol, Tessa Concepcion Writers: Pepito Vera-Perez, Artemio Marquez Director: Artemio Marquez Cinematographer: Amaury Agra Music: Carding Cruz Producer: Jose O. Vera I've mentioned elsewhere that I find the Philippines' Tagalog language pop cinema of the 1960s strikingly similar to Turkish pulp cinema of the same period. The products of both are comparably rough hewn and action oriented and, by necessity of their staggering volume, bear the hallmarks of being churned out at a very brisk pace. Both are also brimming with fanciful costumed heroes, many of which are lifted directly from Western pop culture sources with little or no concern for matters of copyright. Of course, the Filipino's have their own rich comic book history to draw from, and the decade would also see numerous screen adaptations of homegrown superheroes such as Captain Barbell, Lastikman, and Mars Ravelo's Wonder Woman inspired Darna, but audiences at the time were just as likely to be treated to fare along the lines of Batman Fights Dracula or Zoom, Zoom, Superman! Filipino cinema had not always been that way, however. In fact, the previous decade had been what is now considered a golden age for the country's film industry, dominated by a quartet of major studios known as "The Big Four", who turned out relatively lavish prestige productions built around their respective stables of glamorous stars. Financial troubles and the resulting defection of contracted talent started to take their toll on those studios toward the end of the fifties, and by the mid sixties Sampaguita Productions was the last of the Big Four left standing.     And the landscape that Sampaguita found itself a part of was a markedly changed one, made up of dozens of scrappy independent production companies seeking to turn a quick profit by grinding out hastily produced imitations of whatever international product Filipino audiences were paying to see at the moment. This translated primarily into countless indigenous interpretations of the James Bond and Eurospy films (resulting, among others things, in the phenomenally successful and long running Tony Falcon: Agent X-44 series), Spaghetti Westerns. and, of course, the ubiquitous Batman television series and the numerous European costumed capers inspired by it. In this sense, Sampaguita's 1966 production James Batman can be seen as one of the studio's efforts to go with the dollar-chasing flow of this new industry environment. Another tendency in Filipino cinema that is at play in James Batman -- one that, in fact, can still be seen in the industry's current cinematic output -- is a fondness for broad, Mad Magazine-style lampoons of Western pop culture products. It doesn't take a cultural anthropologist to see this as reflecting some ambivalence on the part of the Filipino people regarding the inescapable cultural influence of their former occupiers, but, whatever the case, the result was that, alongside more earnest efforts such as the Agent X-44 films, Pinoy filmmakers were producing an equal number of spoofs along the lines of James Bone, which starred the emaciated comedian Palito as a skeletal superspy.     This particular trend was a boon to one performer born Rodolfo Vera Quizon, who, under the name Dolphy, would go on to become the most beloved screen comedian in the history of Pinoy cinema (such was his popularity at the time of making James Batman that he had recently had the gig of warming up the crowd for The Beatles during the mop-topped ones' ultimately disastrous visit to the islands). After initially rising to fame in the fifties in a series of cross-dressing roles (sure-fire comedic gold in the macho culture of the Philippines), Dolphy had, by the mid-sixties, reinvented himself somewhat in a series of secret agent spoofs such as Dr. Yes, Dolpinger, Genghis Bond: Agent 1-2-3 (all 1965) and Napoleon Doble and the Sexy Six (1966). Dolphy didn't limit himself to parodying the spy genre, and also lampooned comic characters such as Tarzan and Captain Barbell during this period -- and for James Batman combined the two with a dual performance as comedic versions of both James Bond and Batman. What makes James Batman such a strange animal -- aside from the obvious -- is that, in parodying the James Bond films of the mid sixties and the Adam West Batman television series, it's spoofing two things that are already spoofs themselves. On top of that, the film, in addition to delivering lots of very broad slapstick comedy, also strives to function as a proper action film, and as such features quite a lot of fairly soberly staged fight sequences and action set pieces. In fact, by the time we reach the final act, most of the comic antics have been dispensed with, and James Batman plays out its remaining length as a fairly straightforward action melodrama. The result is that the movie gets to have it both ways by presenting Batman and James Bond, as the objects of parody, as cowardly and preening, while still having them go on to perform the daring heroic feats that the audience expected of them.     James Batman's action starts at what is apparently some kind of congress of Asian nations, at which a Fu Manchu-like emissary of the criminal organization CLAW shows up to make extortion demands and threaten nuclear annihilation upon those who would not comply. What was most striking to me about this scene was the CLAW emissary's sidekick, who was played by a very elderly man who looked both disoriented and confused throughout, leading me to speculate that someone's grandfather had been put to work during furlough from the rest home. Anyway, the combined nations decide that the threat from CLAW is so great that the services of both Batman and James Bond are required. An actually kind of funny scene follows in which the movie's distinctly childish and self-regarding versions of both Batman and Bond, who are obviously none too fond of one another, sit before the committee and argue why each of them should be given the job exclusively -- an argument that quickly devolves into each of them shouting "pick me!" at the delegates. One of the perks of the job for Batman is that it will increase his proximity to the chairman's beautiful young daughter, Shirley. Unfortunately, while Shirley is crazy about Batman (exemplified by a shot of her gazing dreamy-eyed at a magazine that confusingly features a photo of Batman and Robin as portrayed by Adam West and Burt Ward), she has no time for Batman's alter ego, Dolpho, despite the insistence of her controlling older sister Delia that Dolpho, with his many millions, is a prime catch. Meanwhile, the members of CLAW -- which include a cloaked figure called Drago, an especially tall and roided-up interpretation of The Penguin, a guy with a spiked ball for a hand, and a masked female called The Black Rose who is clearly derived from the character in Chor Yuen's Cantonese film of the same name -- have learned that Bond, Batman and "Rubin" are on the case, and determine to eliminate them before they interfere with their plans.     In addition to former Sampaguita contract player Dolphy, the cast of James Batman serves as something of a showcase for Sampaguita's house talent at the time. Boy Alano, who plays Rubin, began his acting career at the age of ten, when he co-starred in the 1951 film Roberta, a smash hit that helped rescue the studio from bankruptcy following a fire that consumed a large part of its property. Bella Flores, who plays Delia, had portrayed the female heavy in that same film, and her performance was so iconic that it pretty much doomed her to the type of bad girl roles we see her essaying here. Finally, Shirley Moreno, who plays "Shirley", was a recent discovery whom Sampaguita head Dr. Jose Perez had that year included in a promotional launch of the studio's new faces dubbed "Stars 66". Despite the Spanish surname, the fair-skinned, conspicuously Anglo-looking Moreno serves as a perfect example of the Caucasian standard of feminine beauty that dominated in the Pinoy film industry at the time -- and still does to some extent today. With its simple set-up out of the way, James Batman proceeds along a trajectory not unsimilar to that of most spy films of its era, trotting out a succession of action set pieces based around the villain's serial attempts to pick off our heroes. Only, in this case, those set pieces are punctuated by gag scenes in which, to give a few examples, Batman gets pantsed and produces condiments from his utility belt, and James Bond gets bitten on his bare ass by a rubber centipede. Alano's portrayal of Rubin as somewhat of a cretin also provides the opportunity for some Three Stooges-style rough stuff, since Dolphy/Batman is frequently driven to violence by his idiocy. Elsewhere, the level of the movie's humor can best be summed up by the phrase "boobies... hee hee".     For the most part, Dolphy's scripted dialog is painfully unfunny, but what struck me as I watched James Batman is how he comes across as being a genuinely funny guy despite that. This is conveyed mostly through what appear to be throwaway bits of physical improv -- such as when, as Batman, he follows a pre-crime-fighting snack by casually wiping his hands on Rubin's cape -- and by a genuinely quirky repertoire of mannerisms and physical gestures that make the most of his spindly frame and boney, thin-lipped countenance. I think that what really works for Dolphy is his somewhat sadsack, sour-faced demeanor, an aspect that not only serves to distance him from the goofy obviousness of the humor he's perpetrating, but also provides a contrast to the type of desperate, googly-eyed antics so often seen in cinematic comic relief characters from this period. As mentioned before, Dolphy's portrayals of Bond and Batman veer toward the comically vain and juvenile -- an exercise in broad-stroke subversion that's aided by some equally unsubtle costuming choices. These include Batman/Dolphy's baggy long johns-based costume that continually slips to his knees, and which is adorned with a chest emblem that looks like a female silhouette better suited for a semi's mud flaps. Bond/Dolphy, for his part, is decked out in a stunning plaid three-piece suit with matching Trilby, an ensemble that is really shown to best advantage during a makeout scene that takes place on an identically patterned couch. (Though, to be honest, whether this outfit was actually intended to look ridiculous, or was instead someone's actual idea of high style was unclear to me.) Interestingly, despite being the only character to receive a satirical rechristening, "Rubin" gets to wear a costume that is entirely faithful to that of his inspiration.     Predictably, James Batman looks like it was made for about a dollar, but that doesn't mean that efforts weren't made to make it look as good as possible under the circumstances. Director Artemio Marquez and cinematographer Amaury Agra imbue the film throughout with fluid camera work and imaginative, comic book-influenced compositions, and the many action sequences are generally well staged and shot. Furthermore, the black and white photography serves to some extent to mask the heavy cardboard and construction paper content of the sets, and elements such as the modified Cadillac that serves as the Batmobile actually don't look too bad as long as the camera doesn't dwell on them for too long. Spicing things up further are some interesting location choices, including the operational processing plant in which the climactic battle scene is staged, which looks like it must have presented some very real hazards for the actors involved. James Batman comes to a dramatic head when the CLAW gang, in accordance with their supervillain mandate, kidnap Shirley and abscond with her to their secret headquarters. Bond, Batman and Rubin are close behind, of course, and, with the aid of two undercover agents working within the organization, lay siege to the compound, all the while dodging the deadly cartoon rays shooting from the giant lady fingers that ornament Drago's throne room. All leads to a dramatic reveal of the real brains behind the organization and, ultimately, some stock footage explosions. It's a climax that offers the type of crossover thrills that only a flagrant disregard for international copyrights can guaranty -- and if you're the type of fanboy for whom a fight between James Bond (or, at least, a malnourished-looking, Pacific Islander version of same) and The Penguin represents sheer nirvana, it should seal the deal on whether or not you are going to begin the long grey market search for a murky dub of the film.     Personally -- and much to my surprise, given my expectations going in -- I'm going to come down reservedly on the pro side of the James Batman argument. This is due in part to the fact that, given that the majority of Filipino films from its era have been lost, it is one of the few remaining examples of films of its type. But I also have to say that, despite it being every bit as stupid as I expected it to be, it was still entertaining, and proceeded at a fast enough clip that none of its potential irritants were with me long enough to do much damage. Points are also in order, I feel, for the fact that its humor, no matter how juvenile, really does have a subversive component to it; the underdog lover in me just has to feel a little warm and fuzzy about inhabitants of a downtrodden island nation like the Philippines so gleefully thumbing their noses at institutionalized symbols of Western might like James Bond and Batman. That in doing so they manage to make the voraciously plundering pulp cinema of Turkey seem reverent by comparison is even more impressive. Plus, you know, boobies... hee hee. Labels: Action: Superheroes, Country: Philippines, Espionage, Year: 1966 posted by Todd at 12:04 AM | 1 Comments Saturday, March 15, 2008Tony Falcon, Agent X-44: Sabotage
Release Year: 1978
Country: Philippines Starring: Tony Ferrer, Azenith Briones, Olivia O'Hara, Mike Cohen, Charlie Davao, Alex Bolado, Romy Diaz, Jim Gaines, Val Iglesias, Ramon Revilla, Nick Romano, Rey Sagum Director: Efren C. Pinon Cinematographer: Juanito "Jun" Pereira Music: Ernani Cuenco Producer: Margarita Productions Alternate Titles: Sabotage 2 The road that lead me to Tony Falcon, Agent X-44: Sabotage was, as is often the case with these things, a somewhat long and circuitous one. It began when I was watching the third Christopher Lee Fu Manchu movie, the Shaw Brothers co-produced The Vengeance of Fu Manchu, on TV, and found my attention drawn to the actor Tony Ferrer, who was playing the fairly substantial supporting role of Shanghai Police Inspector Ramos. Ferrer was certainly charismatic, and handled himself admirably in his action scenes. But what really struck me was that here was a Filipino actor playing a character whom the filmmakers had gone out of their way to identify as Filipino (why, after all, name a Shanghai policeman "Ramos"?). Given that this was a film in which a pasty-faced Englishman with putty on his eyelids was being sold as Chinese, made at a time when few in the movie business were losing sleep over whether their Asian casting was race or nationality appropriate, this seemed to me like an unusual consideration. Furthermore, while a character such as his would normally have had a pretty limited lifespan in a movie of this type, Ferrer survived to the end of the movie, playing a decidedly heroic role in the climax. These factors combined gave me a strong hunch that, while Tony Ferrer may have been a nobody to a large portion of The Vengeance of Fu Manchu's international audience, somewhere he was a big, big star. With a geek fire of white hot intensity now raging beneath me, I set to digging, and before too long found that Tony Ferrer was indeed a big, big star in the Philippines--and that he was known as "The Filipino James Bond" thanks to his recurring role as secret agent Tony Falcon, Agent X-44. Starting out as a contract player with his older brother Espiridion Laxa's company Tagalong Ilang Ilang Productions (the company responsible for introducing some of the biggest action stars of Filipino cinema, including Fernando Poe Jr., aka "FPJ"), Ferrer had a fairly undistinguished early career, consisting mostly of supporting roles. This changed in 1965 when his brother developed the Agent X-44 character with him in mind, casting him in the first of a hastily churned out series of films helmed by director and cult film actor Eddie Garcia. Within a year, the Tony Falcon films had become a bona fide phenomenon in the Philippines, and the series would go on to chalk up somewhere around twenty entries, spanning from the mid-sixties to the early eighties.     With this new information turning tantalizing cartwheels in my brain, I was now, of course, dying to see these movies. Unfortunately, I had to steel myself for the probability that this simply would not be possible. Film preservation was a foreign concept to the Philippines until only very recently, and the more distant a film's vintage, the more likely it is to have long ago returned to the dust from which it came. This is a real shame, because from what I've gathered, the Filipino popular film industry of the sixties was very similar to its Turkish counterpart: As prolific as it was impoverished, and with a profligate disregard for copyrights, it churned out hundreds of films a year at a combined cost that would fund one decent-sized Hollywood production, those films loaded with spies and goofy costumed heroes, including undisguised versions of Batman, Robin and Superman. (Not to mention, I imagine, Jesus showing up to make someone bleed out of their eyes or something--because the three things I've come to count on from Filipino genre cinema are singing, violence and, wherever you'd least expect it to pop up, jarring evidence of the particularly punitive brand of Catholicism that holds much of the country in its thrall). Despite my pessimism, however, and after a few months of rooting around, the gray market came through for me, and I eventually came into possession of an example of Agent X-44's impressively voluminous screen output. The 1966 film Sabotage was not the first Tony Falcon film. In fact, there were at least five other entries in the series produced that same year. But it was the first to launch the series as a true phenomenon, as well as Ferrer's career as a superstar in his home country. The film premiered at the first Manila Film Festival--a festival dedicated to showcasing the country's homegrown movie industry--and out-grossed all of the other films on the program. Like pretty much everywhere else in the world, the Philippines was going through a major spy craze at the time, and there would be a number of other film franchises starring super secret agents of their own--Bernard Bonnin as Agent 707, Alberto Alonzo as Agent 69 and Eddie Fernandez as Lagalag among them--but, from the time of Sabotage's release on, Tony Falcon was the undisputed box office champ above all.     Of course, I should make clear that the particular Tony Falcon film that I had come into possession of was not, as I had hoped and expected, the original 1966 Sabotage, but rather the re-titled international release of another film from the Tony Falcon series' waning years, 1978's Sabotage 2. Furthermore, as is often the case with these things, the currently circulating copy of Sabotage is of a quality similar to what you might expect a broadcast signal intercepted from a very distant planet to look like--given that very distant planet is very dark and perhaps underwater. So, while I was looking forward to tasting a new flavor of 1960s secret agent cool--or, at least, a woefully underfunded and technically over-matched facsimile of same--I now had to resign myself to the fact that what I was actually going to be tasting was something quite different and probably a lot less savory. Or perhaps not. Because Sabotage is indeed a rich slab of nada-budget cinematic cheese. Ferrer was sporting a noticeable paunch by this time, a state of affairs that Tony Falcon's trademark white suits did little to improve upon. Still the actor is commendably game, always ready to dole out some spirited faux kung fu whenever the action requires. But what's most impressive about Sabotage is how, by way of its by-necessity minimalism and utilitarian aesthetic, it manages to strip the spy movie down to its essential elements, leaving us with what is basically a Roadrunner cartoon featuring people in suits and bikinis.     The film's action begins with a team of hired killers--a couple guys with mustaches, a hot chick, and an afro sporting, smooth talking Jim Kelly wannabe--discussing their intention to assassinate a visiting Latin American diplomat. After that we're immediately into the first assassination attempt, and from there to the arrival on the scene of the resplendently pompadoured Tony Falcon, who chases down the assassins in his car, doles out some faux fu and shoots at them. Another assassination attempt, in which Tony saves the diplomat from an exploding horse on a polo field, follows right on the heels of the first one, and then another, all leading to more chasing and shooting--and all, interestingly, played out with very little dialog. In fact, we don't hear Tony utter more than two isolated lines at a time until the final twenty minutes of the picture. What dialog there is, however, is all uttered in heavily accented English, rather than Tagalog as I had expected. Once it's determined that they're not going to be able to assassinate the visiting Latin American diplomat with Tony Falcon showing up to chase and shoot at them all the time, the hired killers decide that they should start trying to assassinate Tony Falcon instead. What follows is a series of set pieces in which we get to see what Tony Falcon does in his free time. While most movie secret agents seem to cool their heels by lounging in swanky cocktail lounges, what Tony appears to be doing here is attending a series of wedding receptions that are complete with buffets and awkward, seemingly obligatory ballroom dancing. Then we see him waterskiing with one of his gal pals and, later, golfing. All of these activities, of course, are interrupted by the killers showing up to shoot bullets at Tony through scope rifles, after which he chases, fu's and shoots at them. These scenes also afford us an opportunity to marvel at some of Tony's high-tech spy gadgetry, including some X-Ray Specs that work just as advertised, rendering everyone they gaze upon naked while having no effect upon the strategically placed furniture and foliage that hides their nasties.     Finally we are introduced to Dr. Ivan Skovsky (Mike Cohen), a super villain who sits in a control room staffed by women in bikinis and men in orange jumpsuits, considerately making calls at regular intervals to an army officer named Campos to explain his motivations for doing all of the things he's having the hired killers do. These motivations, however, don't seem very well thought out--or, at least, Skovsky doesn't appear to be very committed to them. At first he want to assassinate the diplomat and extort just a bit of the Philippines' gold reserves. Then he wants to extort all of the Philippines' gold reserves under threat of him launching all kinds of nuclear missiles at the Philippines. When asked the very reasonable question of why he's interested in the Filipinos' gold in particular, he answers that he's not so much interested in the gold itself as he is in sending a message to the world that he means business. He figures that, once he has either extorted all of the Philippines' gold or annihilated the Philippines with all of his nuclear weapons, the rest of the world will simply lay down at his feet. This plan makes Skovsky come off more like a super-bully that a super-villain. After all, if you have to make an example of a country, why pick on one as poor and already troubled as the Philippines? It just doesn't seem very sporting. Eventually, by means of donning a fake beard, Tony Falcon gains entry into Skovsky's secret compound, setting Sabotage's spectacular climax in motion. Because Sabotage is a zero-budget action film, this will involve a lot of helicopters--or, more accurately, one helicopter playing a bunch of different helicopters--because nothing says "production value" like a helicopter. This leads to one of my favorite out of all the helicopter-related, zero-budget action film scenarios, in which someone fires a handgun at an airborne helicopter and it explodes like it was made entirely of atom bombs. After that comes the paratrooper assault, which is accomplished by having exactly two guys dressed as paratroopers filmed from various angles and in different locations to give the appearance of being many. Finally, with these items ticked off the list of things you need in a spy movie, a model of the villain's compound is blown up and we're free to go home.     Just a couple of years after making Sabotage, Tony Ferrer would star in his final Tony Falcon feature, a team-up with Fernando Poe Jr. titled The Eagle and The Falcon. After that he would only revisit the character by way of cameo roles in other films that served as either direct references or knowing-but-vague homages, in both cases reflecting the enduring affection with which Agent X-44 was regarded by the Filipino movie-going public. The first of these was when Ferrer played the boss of Weng Weng--that leathery, pocket-sized star of both Filipino action cinema and my most disturbing nightmares--in For Y'ur Height Only, a fact which should clue people in that Weng Weng's Agent 00, with his blinding white suits, was as much an affectionate spoof of Tony Falcon as he was of James Bond. More recently, Ferrer reprised the Tony Falcon role in a 2007 comedic update of the character appropriately titled Agent X-44, in which he passed the torch to young star Vhong Navarro (who also starred in the Spider-Man spoof, Gagamboy). All of this is evidence that Ferrer has left a deep imprint on his country's popular culture and, while I have no doubt that his status is well deserved, it will take far more than a viewing of Sabotage alone to fully explain it. To be honest, I would rather not have watched Sabotage. But to its credit, it didn't completely kill my desire to see some of the earlier entries in the Agent X-44 series. While the Tony Ferrer who's on display in this particular example doesn't present the most suave and sophisticated of secret agents, he is thoroughly likeable, and there's something in his manner that suggests perhaps an echo of something more fabulous. I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed and hope that some day, if the gray market gods are willing, that murky, garbled artifact that is the nth generation bootleg of the genuine Tony Falcon, Agent X-44: Sabotage will make its way into my eager hands. Hey, nothing is beyond your reach when you dare to dream. Labels: Country: Philippines, Espionage, Series: Tony Falcon, Year: 1978 posted by Todd at 12:38 PM | 5 Comments Friday, April 07, 2006For Your Height Only Release Year: 1979Country: The Philippines Starring: Weng Weng, Mike Cohen, Tony Ferrer, Carmi Martin, Ruben Ramos, Beth Sandoval. Writer: Cora Caballes Director: Eddie Nicart Cinematographer: Val Dauz Producer: Peter M. Caballes Availability: Buy it from Amazon  I was all excited to kick off a month of anime reviews with the epic adventure of Odin, and then my disc shows up from Netflix with a big ol' crack down the middle. With the bitter salt taste of tears in my mouth as they rolled down my sagging old man jowls, I realized that I was going to have to wait for a replacement disc to show up before I could explore the glorious word of the Photon Space Sailer Starlight, thus upsetting my Machiavellian scheme to inflict one of the most bloated, glorious disasters in anime history on you in a way that would make you think, "That truly sounds terrible; I must see it." So then, I thought to myself, well, I should just continue with the Netflix Diary idea, which would mean moving on to Millennium Mambo and For Your Height Only. That sounded pretty good, but then I started watching the Tamil film Abhay, and it was so thoroughly insane and mind-blowing that I thought, "Surely it is this that I must review, for it is such a grand and gloriously psychotic work of art!" And then I was going to use that to do a month of Bollywood that would include everything from pipe-smoking chimps in sequined fezzes to evil bald criminal masterminds in Nehru jackets. But then, at roughly a hundred minutes into the movie (halfway, for you people unacquainted with the running time of Indian films), I discovered that DEI's disc is defective (I had previously rented the movie and thought the dying at the hundred minute mark was on account of the scratched up quality of the disc), thus leaving me hanging right at the moment that Abhay the psycho turns into a cartoon and spins my most beloved Manisha Koirala round and round on his big-ass knife (the whole movie is that plum crazy). I threw my arms to the tumultuous heavens and growled with a great guttural snarl, "Why do the Gods desire me to never finish Abhay???" So here I sit today, impatiently awaiting my replacement copy of Odin and hoping I can scare up a non-defective copy of Abhay at some point in the next week or two (India Weekly has a different version for sale, but just to compound the insults heaped 'pon me, their online order form is malfunctioning today), wondering what I should do to keep the reviews from growing stale. So I guess I'm back to following the Netflix queue, which has piled up in the last week as I've been a bit busy with other pursuits. So out of the potential titles waiting to be reviewed, I think I'll go with For Your Height Only, mainly because I have not had enough time to watch Millennium Mambo, Lady Snowblood, or The Occultist, though The Occultist looks pretty wretched, so I'm excited about that. The Patlabor III/Ghost in the Shell II review was pretty heavy, so I'm itching to dig into some more humorous material.
When it comes to humorous material, however, For Your Height Only pretty much writes itself. I wrote in the review of Nigahen about what I call the Something Weird Phenomenon -- when a movie's basic description turns out to be far more entertaining sounding than the movie itself. The Filipino action film For Your Height Only can be summed up as, "A three-foot tall midget superspy in a leisure suit uses a boomerang fishing hat, jet pack, and kungfu to tear a bloody path through the criminal underworld." One would think, with a description that fabulous, that surely For Your Height Only would be another example of the Something Weird Phenomenon. It is a monumental feat, accompanied by angels blowing mightily upon trumpets of gold, that For Your Height Only manages to live up to and perhaps even surpass the expectations instilled in the viewed by so striking a summary. Suffice it to say that this is really one of those movies you just need to see before you can grasp just how wonderful it is. This is the sort of movie that gave birth to this website. For Your Height Only was actually one of the first movies ever reviewed on Teleport City, though if you were to ask me the exact date, about all I could say to you would be, "You know, Nathan Shumate over at Cold Fusion Video was smart enough to keep track of the posting dates of his reviews." Like most of my early reviews, it was of exceptionally poor quality, as opposed to our current standard of just "shockingly poor quality." In time, I deleted the review with the intention of rewriting the whole thing so as to pay proper respects to a movie in which the leading hero is referred lovingly as being, "small and petite, like a potato." So it is with considerable anxiousness in regards to my own abilities as a writer that I open a bottle of fine champagne and say, "Weng Weng, Agent 00, welcome back."
As a bit of a disclaimer, let me first say that I'm in love with The Philippines. I have great affection for any country that is tropical and manages to blend both South Asian and Latino culture, along with all the political instability and tendency toward upheaval and shoe collecting those two cultural guidepost entail (yes, thank God our great American political culture is totally free of any corruption or incompetence). Plus, it's one of the few places where a fat guy with a greasy moustache and an unbuttoned Aloha shirt can still be an action hero. Some day, I would like to live there. The world of Filipino cinema is a pretty messy place, but like the seedy back streets of Manila, it's well worth picking your way through and becoming acquainted with some of the more flamboyant members of the society. Filipino cinema leapt into the global cult film consciousness thanks in large part to their willingness to play host to Hong Kong and American film industry cast-offs. The Philippines ha acted in many ways like the Italian film industry in that they love to latch onto an exploit a trend, but with even less money. In the 1970s, they produced a slew of cut-rate kungfu films -- and I mean cut-rate even when compared to cut-rate Hong Kong kungfu films. During the 1980s, the post-apocalypse and crappy action films fell into the loving embrace of their bosomy Filipino lover, resulting in some of the most daft entries into each genre, often prefaced with the title, "A Cirio Santiago Production." Santiago was sort of the Filipino answer to Golan and Globus, a filmmaker who never saw a concept that couldn't be drained for every penny it was worth, and then some so long as he added some nudity. In the 1990s, when the Girls With Guns trend that delighted us for many years in Hong Kong finally fell out of favor with audiences who preferred, it would seem, romantic comedies, the entire trend packed its bags and headed toward the Philippines, where genre staples like Yukari Oshima and Cynthia Khan found new life in really bad films.
For Your Height Only is the Filipino attempt to cash in on the James Bond inspired trend of the 1960s, except that it came out in 1979. It's not because they were Johnny Come Lately on the spy trend; it's because star Weng Weng was worth waiting for. Star Weng Weng stands three feet tall, making him one of the shortest secret agents in espionage history, at least until Tom Cruise came along (sorry, it was such an easy joke, but I couldn't help myself). In fact, Weng is on record as being the shortest leading man in movie history. Beyond that, however, the man called Weng Weng has lived a life every bit as shrouded in mystery as that of the secret agent character that catapulted him to international stardom. What little we know about him is a heady concoction of fact and unconfirmed legend. Some say he worked the blue movie circuit for a while, though as far as I know, no one has ever turned up any evidence of this, and more than likely, it just seemed like a funny rumor to start, like John Denver being a Special Forces sniper during the Vietnam War (he was actually a sniper during WWII, and then was cryogenically frozen and revived when it was time for someone to sing Sunshine on My Shoulder). All I know is that when the moon is full and the tradewinds are sweet with the scent of coconut oil that has been spread on the flat, tan belly of a languidly relaxing topless island girl, you can still here Weng Weng, voice, drifting through the palm trees, saying something wise like, "Ow, my wuttle head!" For a man's man, actions will always speak louder that words, and while the story of Weng Weng may be shrouded in mystery and lies, we do have For Your Height Only -- For Y'ur Height Only, as the credits dub it -- which sees Weng Weng donning a white leisure suit to do battle with the forces of evil, as the forces of evil believe that, "the forces of good are our sword enemies! They must be exterminated -- and I mean lethally!" When a top research scientist is kidnapped by thugs working for the mysterious Mr. Giant (one guess as to how tall he turns out to be), Filipino secret agent Weng is interrupted in the middle of reclining with a cocktail with a couple hot babes by the side of his pool. Weng is a lover, and no woman in this film is able to resist his charms, but he's also a fighter, and when duty calls, it's time for the broads to hit the bricks.
Weng is armed by his chief with an array of James Bond style gadgets that were apparently the gadgets the British Secret Service received as a result of their "Design your own spy gadget" contest that was held for children ages 8-12. He gets a goofy looking old man hat that doesn't match his debonair look (it looks like it should have fishing lures affixed to it for ease of access when the bass start a' bitin'), but it is remote controlled, which means he can fling it at would-be foes and then steer it with his watch, thus annoying the foe to no end as the otherwise innocuous and harmless hat flutters about in their faces, sort of like a medium sized moth or one of those discarded shopping bags that gets swept up by a gust of wind and plasters itself momentarily to your shin. He also has a pair of X-ray glasses which are perfect for looking at bosomy secretaries in his chief's office, a special gun, and a pen that "looks like a normal pen, but it's a weapon. Has many uses," none of which are explained to us. I assume Weng can just jab it in a guy's throat, but if that's the case, it's not really that impressive an invention, because they already have pens and toothbrushes that are specially designed for murder (you can get them at Pottery Barn). Now properly equipped, Weng immediately sets out on his mission, befriending a woman named Lola -- just one of several women who will fall for the small guy's suave moves -- and this guy has both disco moves and hardcore kungfu skills. Giant's henchmen do their best to kill Weng as he chops, slices, shoots, and jet packs his way toward Mr. Giant's secret lair on an island called Secret Island.
For Your Height Only does not skimp in the least on the action. Weng can't walk down a street in Manila for more than a few steps before someone is taking potshots at him, forcing him into a storm of secret agent fury. The choreography in the fight scenes is played slightly for laughs, as Weng flips, flies, and is flung all over the place with surprising agility. At the same time, however, the choreography is still pretty good. The fights move briskly, and Weng pulls off quite a few decent stunts (obviously, he doesn't use a stunt double), including a lot of dangling and jumping about as he is chased through and over the rides in a parking lot carnival. His sword fight with a bunch of thugs is pretty good, too -- especially when he does the weird "aiming with my sword" thing where he rests the blade on his forearm and looks down it like the sights of a rifle. I don't want to say that the power of his kungfu is entirely believable, but it's filmed in such a way that, at least within the context of a film about a babe-bangin' midget secret agent, you can buy that Weng is a bad-ass. The film strikes a pretty good balance between serious action and goofy comedy -- some of which comes from the dub, which peppers the dialogue with a little more hamminess than I assume was resent in the original. Most of the comedy works well, though it does rely heavily on the simple appeal of the visual gag of seeing a guy under three feet tall who kicks the ass of the villains and makes sweet, sweet love to the womens. Weng isn't a great actor, but he handles his role well, pulls off the action, and manages to be fairly charming in a goofy way. He's no Roger Moore, but he's doing a decent enough imitation of a Roger Moore Mini-Me. The supporting cast -- well, since everyone is dubbed anyway, and it sounds as if some of the dialogue was rewritten to be funnier (which, in a rare occurrence, it actually manages to be), there's not much point in attempting to assess the acting.
The music is largely stolen from or based on the music from the James Bond film For Your Eyes Only. Everything about the film is dirt cheap, but it's competently if unspectacularly made never the less. It looks better than many independent films with more money, and as good as some of the bottom-of-the-barrel Eurospy movies from the 1960s. Not having much money means that you're not really going to get that jet-set international feel. The villains drive a powder blue Volkswagon, and Weng seems to walk to all his locations, probably because that's how he keeps fit. Weng's wardrobe is pretty impressive, though, as he boasts an array of suits and shirts with big collars and open chests. The gals seem fond of Capri pants and tropical-print blouses. There aren't really any special effects at which to fail, at least up until Weng straps on his jet pack and flies to Mr. Giant's secret lair. It looks like they just strap him to a crane and swing him around -- he even kicks his feet playfully as he drifts through the air with a sparkler sticking out his rear. One thing for sure, For Your Height Only never takes a break from the action and always has another trick up its sleeve -- whether it's a sword fight, a disco scene, or Weng just looking like a stone cold killer as he runs down the street with an M-16 that's just as tall as he is. For Your Height Only really wants nothing more than to thrill and entertain and be a good time at the movies, and it certainly accomplishes that. It's a tremendous amount of fun, not just because it's a Filipino midget spy kungfu action extravaganza, but also because halfway through, you pretty much forget that Weng is such a small guy, and you realize that you're enjoying the movie, cheap as it is, simply because it's an enjoyable movie. Labels: Country: Philippines, Espionage, Netflix Diary, Year: 1979 posted by Keith at 4:30 PM | 5 Comments |
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