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Saturday, May 24, 2008

Voodoo Island

Release Year: 1957
Country: USA
Starring: Boris Karloff, Beverly Tyler, Murvin Vye, Elisha Cooke Jr., Rhodes Reason, Jean Engstrom, Friedrich von Ledebur, Glenn Dixon
Writer: Richard H. Landau
Director: Reginald Le Borg
Alternate Title: Silent Death


I think most of us realize that American films have done a pretty poor job of depicting voodoo over the years. The thing is, I think we usually think of the depiction as being poor because of its (pervading) undertones of racism, if not explicit prejudice and a sense of cultural and moral superiority. And, yeah, that's out there. But there's more.

For what I guess are a variety of reasons, voodoo in particular suffered a scattering, diasporic treatment by Hollywood. Until George Romero and company gave the zombie a new home and a conceptual transformation in the late 1960s, zombies and their parent religion always had an uneasy relationship with cinematic geography. Haiti, where voodoo or vodoun/vodun is still widely practiced, was in the public eye in the 1920s and 30s, due to the American occupation there. William Seabrook's The Magic Island (1929) is generally credited as America's first exposure to the zombie phenomenon--a phenomenon which he insisted was very real, in contrast to other Haitian legends which he dismissed as fairy tales--and it was the inspiration for Bela Lugosi's outing in White Zombie (1932).

However, I guess producers felt that American audiences only had so much patience in watching a film set in Haiti, because four years later zombies somehow became Cambodian in the 1936 film Revolt of the Zombies. There are two particularly significant things about that film. First, zombies no longer had to be dead--they could simply be living people under the supernatural or hypnotic control of another person (yes, they allowed for this in White Zombie, but only for the female lead, probably because corpses are generally viewed as unsexy). Second, zombies became nomads, thereafter doomed to settings pretty much anywhere the writer or director wanted to set them up, as long as it was a tropical setting that was preferably set on some unknown island.

Sure, uncharted islands are great for adventure and horror films, as were the ambivalently-received imagistic power of thick, impenetrable jungle and surly, spear-wielding natives. But although vampires, for instance, were not always placed in Transylvania in any given movie, it was sort of understood that they had a homeland. Zombies and voodoo, by contrast, could be made to inhere in the culture of any dark-skinned group of island dwellers that the writer or director wanted to concoct. I know Keith is skeptical of a lot of the scholarly inquiry into films, but I think there are some pretty real implications of the power relations involved in that treatment of what remains a poorly-understood and very real religion which is to this day racialized in the public eye, and I think there's a lot to be said about it.

...but instead, in this space I'm just observing it, because the focus is another stop on the zombie's pre-Romero peregrinations: Voodoo Island, an uncharted island somewhere in the tropical Pacific which is owned by the filthy rich Howard Carlton, who plans to open a hotel and resort there.

Googling the movie will obviate my need to tell you that it kind of sucks. Karloff, the obvious star of the film, seems to have been doing mostly TV work around this time, and I've seen at least one person claim that this film marked his return to film. For all the failings of the movie, I think it's not a terrible return; he turns in an impressive performance, especially given the very limited power of the script, and manages to make a somewhat abrasive character charismatic. Not much can be said for the other actors, though Rhodes Reason appears to have had the looks and voice of a classic leading man, and Beverly Tyler seems to have been a talented (and lovely) young woman; ascribe it to the script. Because more than the movie, the script really sucks. And yet, despite that, I find a number of redeeming features in this film, though judging by the reviews I've seen out there, I stand nearly alone in caring to say so.

After an opening credit sequence focused on a shitty-looking wooden doll with some kind of needle stuck through its head, we see an equally pathetic-looking model hotel in a miniature landscape. Go ahead and get a chuckle out of it, but the joke's on you, because in a rare moment of cleverness for this film, the credits end and the camera pulls back to reveal that it is, in fact, a model of the hotel which Howard Carlton wants to build on his private, unexplored island. However, he sent a four-man team to survey the location, of which Mitchell was the only returnee. Mitchell is now permanently stupefied; he stares blankly and unblinkingly at nothing all of the time, more or less comatose unless someone leads him to a new place to sit.

The doctor is baffled by the symptoms, so Carlton hires Phillip Knight, renowned debunker of supernatural and paranormal phenomena who apparently has several popular books and a television show. Knight is a stolid "realist" who assumes that supernatural phenomena and native religions, as well as belief in monsters, etc., are all means by which the unscrupulous can take advantage of ignorant laymen and make a quick buck. Even though this is not a particularly eye-opening concept, and in the 1950s at the height of faith in science it may have seemed a very easy perspective to agree with, Knight is such a skeptic that he risks being unsympathetic. If Karloff were not able to use his talents, as he does, to make Knight a very charismatic and charming jerk, this movie would be numbered amongst the films so mediocre that they can make a grown man cry blood.

(If you don't know what I mean by that, then I'm happy for you. Don't try to find out.)

So Knight is convinced that the whole thing, like everything else he's ever come across, is a huge publicity scam. "The public loves to be frightened," he explains to Carlton. Knight agrees to investigate the phenomenon, accompanied by Carlton's employees, his own assistant, and... the comatose Mitchell. To the latter's inclusion, the doctor protests, and when Carlton's assistant Finch explains over the phone that Mitchell will be the sixth and final member of the exploration party, the line goes dead, caged parakeets start flapping around, and a plant for some reason growing on the miniature landscape of the model hotel wilts and then bleeds.

We will soon see scenes introducing the other characters, the most remarkable here are the two women. Adams (Beverly Tyler) is Knight's beautiful but very reserved assistant, who is academically skilled but socially cold; Winters is Carlton's decorator or somesuch, and she unsuccessfully attempts to convince Adams to have a preflight martini or two with her. So begins what is by far the most interesting character dynamic in this film--Winters is pretty clearly intended to be a lesbian, and for the era, at least, her attempts to get under Adams' skirt are relatively overt. Given the apparent budget, the genre, and the time period, I found this not-exactly-latent homosexuality rather surprising, and much more impressive than most of its attempts at horror. Or any of the rest of its romantic depictions, which are more awkward than teenagers getting drunk and making out for the first time.

The next day, the group departs by plane for a stopover island. They're buffeted by a storm and unable to make radio contact... but on the destination island, the radiomen can hear them loud and clear and are unable to make themselves heard in reply, and they can't detect any evidence of weather disturbances at all. The plane lands without incident nonetheless. In the following scene, the same phenomenon occurs--they are able to be heard via radio, but don't realize this because they can't hear the replies--and there are a lot of mostly-silent closeups of people sitting around until Mitchell becomes animated for the first time, taking several steps toward Adams before collapsing and suffering a drop in blood pressure. As Adams insists that he was trying to say something (it looked more like he was having too much trouble just trying to walk, but that's me), his blood pressure returns to normal and the group finally is able to hear a reply from the Wake Island radio station. That's a relief, I guess.

So, after that string of good luck, the group has no qualms departing the next day for another island. Just before takeoff, some guy who may or may not be a native porter finds a split-faced ragdoll under the landing gear which looks like the same doll that some native girl was sewing up before the group's first departure. We'll return to that doll, sort of, in a bit.

Arrival at the next island brings Finch and Knight into conversation with down-on-his-luck hotel owner Schuyler and his ship's captain, Gunn. Yes, pretty much every character is known on a last-name basis here. Gunn might best be summed up as a poor man's precursor to Han Solo; he makes wisecracks, sports a devil-may-care attitude beneath which lies a caring individual, and he's a pilot (of a ship). Schuyler might best be summed up as a wiener. Not a cock, not a jerkoff, but a wiener. His basic role is to be wide-eyed and quick to protest, but also easily bought off with the promise of future riches by cooperating with Carlton. True to that theme, Schuyler's initial protests of his inclusion in the party and Mitchell's presence on his island are both quelled with a few piles of greenbacks. "This is just a small down payment," Finch assures him. Schuyler then agrees to let the group use his boat to get to Carlton's island and figure out what happened to Mitchell and his three missing companions.

That night, Winters really makes her orientation clear. She approaches Adams as the latter is gazing out into the night, and under the guise of discussing her attire and makeup techniques, makes statements such as, "I could make you come alive." Adams gets flustered and storms off, and Gunn attempts to convince Winters that since he's a man, she might want to give it up to him. She explains that her "club" is exclusive and very private, and he's not going to become a member. Again, this seems pretty ballsy (honestly not a backhanded pun) for the times, and a lot more ambitious thematically than most of the rest of the film.

The next day, before launch, Mitchell wanders off on his own and drops dead on the dock, his arms pointed toward Voodoo Island. When the group returns to the spot to launch, they find designs on the ground drawn in white powder, at the center of which is an "ouanga" bag filled with "death wishes" written out on strips of paper or leather or something, one for every member of the party. Knight smiles at this and pitches the death wishes into the sea, and the group embarks... only to find that the boat's engine inexplicably stops working after the island comes into view. They're forced to let the tide take them to shore, which takes all night.

It's from here on out that the movie comes about as close to "coming into its own" as it ever will... Although I previously linked it to other voodoo and zombie films, it's worth also linking it to the tradition of monster films set in island locations where it takes forever--eternity being manifested in irritating and patently false dialogue regarding tepid-at-best bickering and other crude and ass-backwards attempts at creating character development or something--to finally see what turn out to be underwhelming monsters with a dearth of screen time (Navy vs. the Night Monsters, The Mushroom People, I'm looking at you). So you can gauge it, we're already more than halfway through the movie before it actually kicks into gear. If you can call it that.

The group stumbles upon surveying equipment perfectly aligned to lead them to Mitchell and co.'s quondam campsite. While the men return to the boat only to find that their food supplies are now filled with maggots, Winters unsuccessfully acts the temptress only to decide, around the time that the men return with the bad news, that she'll go skinny dipping in a nearby lagoon. Call her an overzealous pioneer, or a lesbian being punished by a horror film unable to free itself from the conservatism of its era, but she's the first to find out that the plants of the island eat people... by getting tangled up in the inflated leaves of some kind of lake plant with cephalopod-looking suckers all over them.

Winters thus becomes the first martyr to the cause of the group's enlightenment. Knight incredulously exclaims that the plant which killed her (by drowning, I guess?) is a "throwback" to the Cretaceous or earlier... as far as I know, dinosaurs were not eaten by giant carnivorous plants, but I guess if you don't care whether voodoo is Haitian or Hawaiian, you're not likely to care about palaeobotanical reality, either.

Not long after, the group learns that there's another, more dangerous, "more carnivorous" (Knight's term, not mine, whatever the fuck it means) plant living on land. Adams is saved by some quick machete work from being the next victim. That night, perhaps awakened by Winters' death, Adams proclaims her ardent feelings for Gunn, and the two embrace for an embarrassingly-scripted fireside kiss.

Finch, the next morning, decides for some reason to move away from the fire and attempt to get more sleep under the shelter of the nearby undergrowth. I understand that sometimes we all experience a bit of slow-mindedness in the morning, but given the imminent sense of danger likely shared by the group, and Finch's consistent protests against further exploration ever since the first discovery of carnivorous plants, this move seems less a demonstration of his fallibility as a character and more a convenient and really stupid plot device. The device operates curiously; when he's nearly eaten by carnivorous plants, rather than running back to the fire where there's a safe clearing, he runs... into the jungle. Like an asshole.

Because of his stupid flight, he's then able to witness two native girls at play, one of whom steps into the newest type of carnivorous plant, whose immense leaves curl up around the victim as it presumably digests her. In some ways, this is one of the more effective scenes in the film, as this very innocent girl is subjected to lethal incarceration. In other ways, the ridiculously stupid and random setup really undercuts that effectiveness, because I don't see how this girl, young as she is, was raised in this jungle but never learned about this dangerous, snare-like plant, and yet Finch the wandering jackass somehow stumbled through a great deal of thick growth without getting attacked by anything.

Finch doesn't return, and the group awakens surrounded by painted, spear-wielding, lai-wearing natives, who then guide them to their chief. Knight cautions everyone to go along with them; first, because the natives outnumber them and could slaughter them easily, and second, because it's clear to him that someone has been watching them the whole time, guiding them to the abandoned campsite, and that people have only been killed or menaced by the plants when they were foolish enough to wander off, away from the guided trails.

So who's the mastermind of that whole plan, the point of which still escapes me? A white guy. Friedrich von Ledebur plays the role of the "native chief," who offers up some kind of narrative of having to island-hop to avoid the persecution of white people until his people were able to get to the center of this island of deadly plants, thus being protected from the outside world and rendered invisible. He explains all of this in what's clearly a German accent, which I guess in 1957 must've passed as an indigenous South Pacific accent.

This is another legacy of racism which long haunted cinematic depictions of voodoo; behind every voodoo scheme, at least before the 1970s, was a white person who somehow had power over any darker-skinned practitioners. The case of Voodoo Island is unique in that sense, I guess, because the actor is white but they're trying to pass him off as native (kind of like that scene in Death Curse of Tartu where they try to pass twelve noon off as nighttime simply by acting like they're not sitting in broad daylight). Still, this might be the most jarringly absurd moment in the movie, because I could put war paint on my freckled, Irish-looking skin and pass as a Zulu warrior before von Ledebur could pass for a Pacific Islander chief.

From there, the movie winds down. I mean, I guess the climax is still up ahead, but I'd argue that there's less of a climax than... well, the movie is basically an uneven plateau, full of minor ups and downs, which concludes by just kind of ending in mid-air, with you still wondering if anything is really going to happen.

But if you're not cynical about it, the climax comes shortly after the discussion with the chief. Knight works his magic in persuading the chief that he'll keep the islanders' secret safe from the public, but Schuyler then protests because Knight promised him riches and fame, damnit! Consequently, the group gets tied up, and when they awaken the next morning, Schuyler has been replaced with a new voodoo doll. Soon after, Knight finds Schuyler behaving strangely on a bridge, and when Schuyler looks down, he sees the ghostly image of his own voodoo doll in the wooden planks and then flings himself off the bridge, dropping a fatal couple of yards into water that's probably as deep as he is tall.

Knight, persuaded by whatever the fuck exactly happened, admits to Chief Friedrich that he lied the other day, but is now convinced that the voodoo powers of these natives are real, and so this time, he'll respect the agreement that last night he intended to renege on. This is somehow persuasive to these people whose oral history seems to focus on perpetual attempts to escape white persecution and treachery before accepting the dangers of an island filled with maneating plants in exchange for total isolation. The end.

The movie is really not better than it sounds, although it's not absolutely horrible. It skirts around toxic levels of mediocrity, of that dangerous sort alluded to before. But as I said, I found some redeeming features in it. If you're going to bother tracking it down for any reason, I guess they'd be as follows:

1) Zombies. Zombies have at least some redemptive power most movies, although there are even less zombies in this film than Zombie Holocaust, and barely more than in the zombieless Zombie Island Massacre. Although Mitchell is repeatedly described as being like a dead man, he later actually dies... "zombie" here means mind control, and the mind control isn't really exercised for any particular purpose. Traditionally, zombies provided slave labor. Other mind-control zombie films of this era offered zombies as guards, assassins, or soldiers. This film... just kinda has them. Like in Zombie Holocaust, they're just there, and most of the danger is other tropical stuff like carnivorous plants. Zombies aren't really a redeeming feature here, but I thought I'd point that out more specifically because their inclusion at all makes this a "zombie film," which is exactly why I, for one, bothered to watch it at all.

2) The lesbian tensions between Winters and Adams are significant enough that I'd imagine some people might want to track it down. If the script ever comes close to not sucking, it's in Winters' exchanges with Adams and, separately, with Gunn. Unfortunately, the third side of that triangle, Gunn's exchanges with Adams, are extremely trite heteronormative crap, in which wisecracking and mutual loathing give way to passionate embraces and nighttime cliched confessions.

3) Karloff turns in, as stated, a very charismatic performance. Despite that Knight isn't particularly likable, Karloff makes him seem likable. As another online reviewer put it, it's not hard to see how Karloff's Knight could have become famous. His rational realist reductions of anything the least bit enigmatic today seem dated and arrogant, perhaps even more than they did in the 50s, but they still allow Karloff to make him an interesting character, all the more when he's paired with his assistant Adams. Beverly Tyler isn't given much to work with here, as she plays a pretty but cold assistant who's in love with Knight's rationalism and analytical acumen, but this does create an interesting relationship between the very charismatic and effervescently skeptical Knight, and his un-charismatic and "robot-like" assistant... though this relationship is later compromised, again, by Adams' being broken out of her shell by Gunn, who rescinds his assessment of her as a "push-button robot" only as she shrugs off the characteristics that inspired it.

4) The irrationality of the film is in some ways before its time. I think this is part of its ultimate failure; the writers clearly wanted to create a sense of un-reality at a time when there weren't many films whose lead they might follow. Bleeding plants, the voodoo ragdoll which serves no apparent purpose, the "death wishes" based on real magic (so goes the conclusion of the film) which don't end up being lethal, the trouble with the radio, etc.... These have been criticized elsewhere as loose ends of a script that never had a final draft. I'll throw out the possibility that, in fact, they were more deliberate attempts to undermine Knight's stolid positivism because--and I'm not trying to be cute here--there was no unity to their disunity. Knight and co. are about to enter a world where rationality defers to "black magic" and the unlikelihood of an entire island of maneating plants which apparently evolutionarily predate mankind by millenia upon millenia. The scattered phenomena really undermine the power of science: radios which stop working, doctors at a loss to explain Mitchell's condition (much less offer a cure), ship engines which fail, storms which exist only subjectively for the individuals inside one airplane, and plants which bleed...

But wait, isn't that what any supernatural horror film does? Yeah, kinda, usually, but remember, this film is all about the conversion of a skeptic: for the first time in his life, Knight is led to admit that there's no rational, man-behind-the-curtain, damn-you-meddling-kids explanation for the phenomena the group has experienced. Each phenomenon builds up to that climax, forcing Knight to assume an ever-greater orchestration of a bigger and bigger hoax, until finally the hoax becomes too vast to be a hoax at all. This adds up to an attempt, I think, to achieve the same sort of unreality which Fulci, for instance, attempted. The attempt is just very ham-handed and lacks the subtlety and completeness which would have made the writers' intentions clearer, and their vision more evocative.

...of course, if they'd actually had more vision, this would be a better movie. It's never clear what causes the wind to pick up, and supernatural storms to appear, and radios not to work. Is someone specifically practicing voodoo magic? Is it just the magical power of the island? Probably the former, but we never learn any properties of that magic, and so the island becomes a metonym for voodoo, which itself is basically reduced to a symbol of the limitations of science. Unfortunately, when the symbol is more important to the writers than its manifestation in the story, it ends up falling flat and lifeless, and being confusing to boot.

The overarching point is, I guess, that regardless of its shortcomings and weaknesses, this film does exist. I'd recommend it to you only if one of the four above points really strikes your fancy. If you just want to see Karloff in a zombie movie, I would strongly suggest The Snake People instead; it has more zombies, and a crazed dwarf. But if you're interested in the history of zombie films in America, as I've tried to note above, this film embodies all at once a number of the distinctive features of the zombie's meandering geographic basis and conceptual identity before Romero established a new model which wasn't limited to the exclusionary category of "exotica". White guys in power behind the dark-skinned natives, transplantation across tropical locales, a lack of differentiation between voodoo and any other tropical island religions, and a very selective definition of the zombie... these things are all there. So if that's your deal, then like I said, this movie... exists.

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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Grapes of Death

Release Year: 1978
Country: France
Starring: Marie-Georges Pascal, Felix Marten, Serge Marquand, Mirella Rancelot, Patrice Valota, Patricia Cartier, Michel Herval, Brigitte Lahaie.
Writer: Christian Meunier and Jean Rollin
Director: Jean Rollin
Cinematographer: Claude Becognee
Producer: Claude Guedj
Music: Philippe Sissman
Original Title: Les Raisins de la mort
Alternate Titles: Pesticide
Availability: Buy it from Amazon.


"Dreams and life -- it's the same thing, or else it's not worth living." -- Baptiste, Jean Rollin's Les Enfants du Paradis

From time to time, I notice there are certain directors whose films I undeniably love yet always preface a positive review of with some manner of disclaimer along the lines of "not for everyone" or "you have to be in the right mind." More times than not, the director to which I'm referring is Jess Franco. However, this largely reflexive defensiveness could just as easily find itself employed in the shielding French director Jean Rollin. But I'm not going to fall back on any of that today, or any other day from here on out until I forget that I've just made this proclamation. I'm a big boy, after all, and its time to embrace my love of Jess Franco, Jean Rollin, and any other thoroughly cockeyed Eurocult director without any caveats or attempts to justify my love out of some ill-conceived sense of guilt that, because of some glowing review I might write of Blue Rita or La Vampire Nue, someone is going to go out and watch those movie and then wonder what the hell is going on. But really, that's not something of which I should be ashamed of or feel guilty over, is it? Because if more people were watching Diamonds of Kilimanjaro or Shivers of the Vampire, then that's a step in the right direction, isn't it? Provided you think the right direction is mod Euro starlets constantly taking off their clothes during psychedelic stripteases performed to crazy jazz music in some club decorated with pop art sensibilities on overdrive -- and you all know that's my vision of a perfect world. Also, I would be able to fly and turn invisible, and anything I carry is also invisible if I want it to be. And I am immortal.

I went through a couple decades and then some having never even heard of Jean Rollin. It wasn't until Cathal Tohill and Pete Tombs' book Immoral Tales that I heard mention of Rollin's name. While the description of Rollin's films seemed interesting, it was the smattering of stills that really entranced me, and not just because they were frequently of unclothed women. They were also of unclothed men. Because, you know, the French and all. Unfortunately, my new knowledge of Jean Rollin was not accompanied by an ability to actually see any of the movies about which I was reading. At the time, pretty much the only source for Jean Rollin films was Video Search of Miami, and having once ordered a video from them, I knew to never do it again. But then I noticed whilst browsing the videos at a local establishment that they had a couple Rollin films of dubious legality and questionable reproduction quality, but whatever. It only cost a buck-fifty for the rental, so I picked up a little something called Raisins de la Mort. Raisins of Death? That didn't sound too scary, even if the California Raisins sort of creeped me out. But it was also a zombie film, and up until very recently, when a long line of horrible shot on video zombie films did me in, I could never pass up a zombie film.


Then came the DVD explosion, and thanks to Redemption Video, a whole slew of Rollin films found their way into my collection and, it goes without saying, into my heart. Because, you know, the French and passion and all that. I learned a few things about Rollin, chief among them that the first of his films that I'd seen was not really typical of his output, which often revolved around vacant-eyed vampire girls in mod mini-dresses, when they had anything on at all. By comparison, Raisins de la Mort was almost an actual film. Most of the time, Rollin shot his films with the intent of achieving a surreal, logic-defying atmosphere. He also tended to shoot with almost no money, only amateur actors, and usually no script. The end results were often...complex...to digest. Rollin's first film, La Viol du Vampire, was made more or less on a whim by Rollin and a group of enthusiastic horror film fans. It was never meant to be much more than a fan film, and Rollin's goal was to pack a small theater with friends and friends of friends and have a fun night. As fate would have it, France happened to be in the middle of a slew of crazy demonstrations and riots, meaning that Rollin's little homemade experimental art-horror film was one of the only new films theater owners could get their hands on. And thus, Rollin found himself with an actual release on his hands -- albeit a poorly received release. Parisians may have been looking for a revolution in 1968, but not the one Rollin's film offered them.

But Jean Rollin continued unphased. After all, he never intended for his film to be embraced by a wide audience. Rollin had been raised by artist and, as a child, surrounded by luminaries and lunatics from the fringe of the art world, including a number of Surrealists. Their vision of art obviously informed Rollin's eventual work, and his repertoire is comprised largely of films that concentrate heavily on dreamy imagery, hallucinatory surrealism, and general weirdness. Sacrificed in the fray were things like logic, scripts, plot -- little things like that. European cult film directors have often been criticized for shuffling these things to the back burner, just as they've been praised for their ability to create amazing imagery and mood. I'm torn, since on the one hand, I like scripts and plots and feel that film is a medium in which so many aspects of art -- imagery, music, writing -- must come together. On the other hand, I really like a lot of these relatively plotless movies, and I have a tremendous capacity for extracting meaning from apparent meaningless. That's what you learn, kids, if you take film classes and work as a journalist who interviews both politicians and movie stars.


But that's a discussion for a different Rollin film, because we're here today to discuss one of his more accessible films, though it certainly has its fair share of Rollin's signature oddity. Compared to most of his work, though, Grapes of Death, as it is known this week, is positively comprehensible and well-planned.

For many of the cult film fans who might be familiar with Jean Rollin without being Jean Rollin fans, it's probably because of his infamous zombie film, Zombie Lake. The Internet certainly doesn't lack for coverage of this masterpiece of complete and utter incompetence, and lord knows I've done my part. The big difference between Rollin's usual bizarre output and Zombie Lake is that Zombie Lake is pretty much indefensible. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Zombie Lake. I might even watch it again tonight, but the incompetence on display there is purely born of a complete and total lack of interest in making a good movie, and not from some desire to make a weird, arty film. Given the reputation of Zombie Lake, which in turn has informed the opinion of many people who don't know Rollin for anything but Zombie Lake, delving once again into the rich, creamy lather of a Jean Rollin directed zombie film would seem...well, about as enticing as doing anything involving rich, creamy lather other than getting a good shave with a straight razor and dollop of heated shaving cream.


And while Grapes of Death may not be quite as satisfying as a good shave delivered by a talented barber who smells of menthol blended with spices and lower woodsy notes, it's still a heck of a lot better than Zombie Lake, and just as Rollin doesn't deserve to be judged purely on the "merits" of Zombie Lake, neither does Grapes of Death deserve to be off-handedly dismissed and placed at the same low level as that green-faced Nazi zombie opus.

Grapes of Death is an episodic series of events following Elizabeth (Marie-Georges Pascal), who finds herself on the run after she and her friend are attacked on a train by a young man who seems well on the way to having his face fall off. It turns out, we learn, that an experimental pesticide has contaminated the grapes used to make wine, thus turning much of France into -- well, not exactly zombies, but close enough, especially in this post 28 Days Later era when the definition of zombie has been somewhat blurred. Rollin's zombies showcase certain obvious characteristics of zombies as defined by the George Romero movies that have become more or less the de facto zombie rule handbook. Some of them shamble aimlessly about with their arms in awkward positions. They like to bite people. And their bodies and faces tend to decay and fester with oozing boils. But they also like to stab people with pitchforks, brandish torches, travel at a relaxed jog, and prepare dinner. Depending on the state of the infection, some people seem completely gone into a flesh-hungry zombie state, and some are still able to talk and even feel guilt and remorse over what they are being compelled by the infection to do.


Elizabeth wanders a bleak French countryside, encountering infected people from time to time and screaming in fear. Occasionally, she also meets uninfected people, but she still usually finds reason to scream in fear, since those people often end up on the wrong end of some bladed farm implement wielded by a grinning ghoul. Grapes of Death takes the unique approach of eschewing the standard "hunker down in a house and argue with each other as the living dead amass outside" for a much more freewheeling and wide open approach. Elizabeth spends most of her time outdoors in wide-open spaces. She is, at these times, relatively safe. It is only when she ventures into the closed quarters of homes or walled medieval style farm towns that the trouble begins, and the confined spaces always work against her. She eventually meet two uninfected farmers who avoided the infection because, although it is very un-French of them, they prefer beer over wine. Elizabeth's fortunes seem to change once she meets up with these blue collar salts of the earth, but a rather large coincidence brings her into contact with her boyfriend (who we've never seen until he shows up at the end of the movie), and since things never end well for people in a zombie film...well, you get the picture.

In a crowded field of zombie films that tend to be largely identical to one another, few stand out. Those that do either accomplish this because they invented or are so good at executing the well-worn formula, or they have found some way to provide a unique twist on expectations while still conforming to certain expectations. Grapes of Death falls into the latter category. It is basically a zombie film, but it's not like other zombie films. It's open instead of confined; the zombies are cognoscente of their descent into murderous bloodlust, even if they are helpless to stop it; and although the film has plenty of gore (and gratuitous nudity), the scares come not from any sort of visceral punch but rather from the eerie atmosphere Rollin creates. The desolate French countryside Rollin uses as his location is at once familiar and strangely alien. What we expect of idyllic rolling hills and quaint old villages is subverted as soon as the oozy-foreheaded crazies start prowling about. Similarly, Rollin keeps seasoned viewers of zombie films off balance by delivering something other than what you expect, at least some of the time. And where as many zombie films, especially recent ones, rely on pumped up adrenaline and action, Grapes of Death meanders aimlessly across the French countryside at the same pace as its confused protagonist.


Coming out in 1978, Rollin's pseudo-zombie dream was one of the earliest European attempts to mimic George Romero's hugely influential Dawn of the Dead, though in tone and approach, Grapes of Dead has more in common with Jorge Grau's oft short-changed 1974 zombie film Let Sleeping Corpses Lie. Both films share a pastoral rural setting turned sinister with experimental pest control methods being the culprit behind the madness. But Grau's zombies are most definitely the living dead, where as Rollin's zombies have more in common with creations from another George Romero film, 1973's The Crazies. In fact, if I had to pick one film that was the most likely influence on Grapes of Death, it would be The Crazies, which is the tale of a small town that becomes infected with a virus that turns people into murderous nutjobs. Where Grapes of Death differs significantly from Romero's film is in the mood. Romero, a former director of industrial and instructional films, has always been a largely clinical director, injecting a sense of matter of fact reason into fantastic events through his reserved direction. Rollin, on the other hand, allows the bizarre events of his film to dictate the atmosphere. Thus, while both films take place in somewhat foreboding, winterly rural locations, Rollin's looks much more like something out of a fevered nightmare. In addition to the ragged countryside, punctuated by strangely shaped rock formations and mist, Rollin makes excellent use of crumbling old walled towns. Everywhere is a palpable sense of decay.

Both The Crazies and Grapes of Death inform the basic premise of more current films, like 28 Days Later, though whether or not those films played much role in influencing 28 Days Later is something I do not know. And of course, that movie takes yet another very different approach to the same basic premise.


Then there's the trance-like electronic music score, minimalist and reminiscent of Tangerine Dream. Composer Phillipe Sissman only has this and one other work to his credit, and even here he doesn't contribute much more than one weird synth theme that is used to remarkably good effect. It clashes with the natural setting around it, and with the decrepit, lived-in look of the film's overgrown villages, but it works perfectly with the hypnotic mood of the film. It helps communicate the idea that something is not quite right.

Rollin's film depends largely on young Marie-Georges Pascal, who like many of Rollin's actors, was minimally experienced at the time. She appeared in a number of erotic films with titles like I Am Frigid...Why? and Hot and Naked. Although Grapes of Death is a great leap forward for her, nothing really ever came of it. In 1985, with her film career having gone nowhere, she committed suicide. Her eventual fate lends an additional level of melancholy to the film, especially given the downhearted ending. It's obvious she has some talent, though, as she manages to create an interesting character even though she (like everyone else) has minimal dialog and spends an inordinate amount of time screaming as she witnesses one horror or another. It's the simple everyman (or everywoman) quality that endears her to the viewer. Plus, she rarely does things that are completely and incomprehensibly stupid just so she can move the plot along. I guess that's one of the benefits of not having much of a plot.


Supporting her are a cast largely unrecognizable to me, as like most Americans, if it isn't Gerard Depardieu being flustered or Jean Reno punching someone, I don't know many French actors. Some of them, like the two beer-loving guys who come to Elizabeth's rescue, are experienced actors. But the only real familiar face to me is Brigitte Lahaie, the French porn star turned Jean Rollin muse. She appeared in many of his films and acted as sort of a muse, in much the same way Soledad Miranda (and later Lina Romay) did for Jess Franco. She has a small part here, as a woman who befriends Elizabeth (or so it would seem) and gives her protection from a town full of crazies. Of course, I'd always like to see more of her, but that's what films like Fascination are for. She did star in one more of Rollin's variations on the zombie theme, 1980's strange Night of the Hunted, in which France is afflicted with mass memory loss and hysteria, causing Brigitte to have to wander around nude a lot for some reason I've never fully comprehended but am never the less happy to accept.


Grapes of Death may not be exactly what people expect from a zombie film, and even if it is Rollin's most accessible and straightforward narrative, that doesn't mean that it doesn't rely heavily on weirdness and surrealism. I personally find it thoroughly hypnotic and imaginative. Especially after watching so many poorly-made carbon copy zombie films of late, it's refreshing to return to something this unique. A year later, Lucio Fulci's Zombie would come out and pretty much define the European (by then, almost exclusively Italian) zombie film for the next...well, to this very day. Fulci works in much the same way as Rollin and considers many of the same things important -- the creepy atmosphere; the construction of striking, haunting imagery; the sense of decay generated by moody locations; and of course the disregard for strong scriptwriting. But Rollin is much more lyrical in his approach, and even though Grapes of Death has plenty of goo and gore (it was one of the very first -- possibly the very first -- French gore film), there is something decidedly different about it. If Lucio Fulci is the Chang Cheh of zombie films -- all visceral punches and testosterone -- then Jean Rollin's Grapes of Death is like something from Chu Yuan. Poetic, dreamy, perhaps feminine in a way, even when naked women are being beheaded or run through with pitchforks.

It's a shame that Zombie Lake, the movie that was too crappy even for Jess Franco, remains the best known Jean Rollin film. Most of his movies remained unseen for years, and even their initial releases played to scarcely more than a smattering of people. Grapes of Death is one of my favorite zombie films, or whatever those sort-of zombie, crazy bleeding people are called. I can, and often do, watch this and many other Rollin films over and over. Sometimes I may only half pay attention to them, like albums playing in the background, but keeping them in the corner of your eye or at the periphery of your consciousness suits them well. Of course, I also like sitting down and paying attention to them, as I think many (but not all) of his films are quite rewarding. If you are as tired as I am of movies where a group of strangers board up the windows and yell at each other for 75 minutes until the zombies bust in and eat everyone, Grapes of Death might be the remedy you're looking for. I recommend you view it with a nice, fruity Cabernet Sauvignon.

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posted by Keith at | 6 Comments


Friday, November 03, 2006

Hide and Creep

2004, United States. Starring Melissa Bush, Chris Hartsell, Chuck Hartsell, Kyle Holman, Barry Austin, Mia Frost, Chris Garrison, Kenn McCracken, Eric McGinty, Michael Shelton, John Walker. Directed by Chuck Hartsell, Chance Shirley. Written by Chance Shirley. Buy it now from Amazon.com.

I'm getting pretty tired of "wink wink" horror films that cloak themselves in what they assume to be the criticism-proof armor of "it's supposed to be bad!" I'm equally tired of the would-be critics who swallow that defense time and time again, and I assume most of them are relatively young and thus haven't spent the last three decades watching these types of films -- otherwise they would realize that, 1) a movie can be self-referential and satirical and still be a good genre entry (witness Shaun of the Dead and Return of the Living Dead), 2) movies that are intentionally campy or spoofy are not anything new, and 3) there should be a moratorium on people who review such movies and employ phrases like, "People who don't like it just don't get it," or "what people don't get is that it's supposed to be bad!" or any other variation of those tired old excuses for bad movies.

The no-budget zombie comedy Hide and Creep has been the frequent benefactor of these types of comments and reviews, the likes of which are usually reserved for the collective works of Troma. I almost always tote a grudge against a film that relies on the "it's bad on purpose" excuse for shoddy filmmaking, so it's lucky for Hide and Creep (yeah, I'm sure they were worried about what I thought) that I knew absolutely nothing about the movie other than it was about zombies and the Southern dude on the cover looked like one of my relatives. I ended up watching Hide and Creep simply because I decided one day to search for and add every micro-budget zombie film I could find to my Netflix queue, and this one happened to pop up. I didn't read any of the comments and reviews until after I'd watched the movie, and that turned out to work pretty well in the movie's favor.

Because Hide and Creep isn't a great film. It's not an accomplished entry into the zombie canon. And it does play the "wink wink" card, but the difference is that it does so in a way that seems so good-natured, so innocent, and so amicable, rather than condescending or smarmy, that although the film stumbles, I found its friendly attitude enough to make it an all right viewing experienced. It also helps that it's one of the few low-budget horror-comedies where some of the jokes are actually funny and don't have to do with poop and farts.

The set-up is nothing original: a small town in Alabama suddenly finds itself infested with the living dead, who eat the living and can only be killed by a shot to the head, and a ragtag band of the living must fight for survival. As I've mentioned both in the old review of the Korean action film Shiri and the more recent review of the micro horror film Death Factory, there's nothing wrong with dealing in cliche as long as you either deal the hand well or make up for it in some other way. Hide and Creep is a good example of this, because while the scenario is well-worn and tired, the movie doesn't rely on the scenario. Instead, it relies on a cast of characters who are at times funny and engaging and manage to work in some gags that got a chuckle out of me.

Hide and Creep is built around three different groups. The least interesting and least funny is that of the small-town reverend who gets bitten by a zombie, and uses his final minute son earth to berate the people who are only coming to church now that there's something sinister happening. The second group is a trio of gun enthusiasts (the leader of which is named Keith). The final group is a random assembly consisting of cynical video store clerk Chuck, harried police secretary Barbara, her ex-boyfriend Chris, and a naked guy named Michael who apparently had his pants stolen by aliens. I will warn you now, though the film does feature a couple gratuitous nude shots of women, carrying the bulk of the nudity rests on the beefy shoulders of Michael -- and he isn't shy.

Plenty about the film doesn't work. It's poorly paced, for one, with some slow spots. The zombies are a minimal presence, and there's only a couple gore effects, so if that's your bag, then you are going to be disappointed. The zombie make-up is awful and looks like very little effort was put into it. The story doesn't seem to have a whole lot of focus, and the ending is less of an ending than it is the point at which they simply had to wrap things up for the sake of running time and money. Some of the jokes are tired, such as the video store clerk talking on the phone about zombie movies -- we get it, already. You've seen zombie movies, and you know what letterboxing is. I didn't need to see these jokes again.

On the other hand, certain things work to the movie's advantage. The acting is bad, but it's bad in such a way that it actually becomes pretty entertaining. It's not that flat, listless sort of bad acting one expects from such films. It's more -- I don't know. Not so much bad as it is confused, like everyone involved didn't quite know what was going on with the whole making of the movie. For some characters -- burn-out Chuck and poor, confused, naked Michael, it makes the performances pretty good in a very off-kilter way. And Kyle Holman, who plays gun enthusiast Keith, turns in what is actually a pretty endearing performance, if for no other reason that I know so many guys who look, act, and speak exactly like him. He also has one of the two funniest scenes in the movie. After arming his teenage daughter and little girl, he goes out for some zombie stomping. The girls are of course attacked and dispatch the zombies. When Keith returns, his youngest daughter runs up to him and says, "Daddy! I've been killing zombies all day!" to which he replies, in that fawning tone parents have, "You sure have, haven't you!" I don't know. It was funny to me, as was the throwaway line from one of Keith's friends upon their initial discovery of the zombies out in the woods: "Zombies! I knew it, just like they said on Coast to Coast A.M.!" Which is probably only funny if you are a trucker or someone else who drives during the wee small hours of the morning.

There are some other gags that worked OK for me to. When he visits a friend at the local strip club only to find it full of zombies, Keith raises his gun to dispatch them, but keeps getting distracted from the task at hand as he watching a couple of topless stripper zombies writhe about with one another. The "you have an RC problem - No, we had a Pepsi problem earlier" bit was good for a larf, as is Chuck's accidental debut on the news as a zombie expert when all he wanted to do was to tell them to quit pre-empting the Alabama-Auburn football game for emergency bulletins. All comedies are hit or miss, and that goes doubly so for micro-budget horror comedies, which tend to rely too heavily on the Troma style of throwing out the most mundane, predictable, and humorless jokes and hoping that the audience is too stupid or too new to the scene to realize how lame it all is. So it's a pleasant surprise when a movie the likes of Hide and Creep manages to squeeze in a lot of lines that got an honest laugh out of me. And most of those jokes are topical or cultural, rather than the usual toilet humor on which so many micro-budget films rely. Even the visual gag revolving around Michael's spending half the movie wandering around naked is pretty funny, especially since actor Michael Shelton delivers his line with such confused earnestness. You will believe he is a guy who honestly has no idea where his pants are.

I think what warms me most to the characters in this film is that they are Southern, sort of goofy, but not in any mean-spirited sort of way. After decades of films that revel in trashing Southerners, I'm happy when a film like Hide and Creep plays things a little friendlier. There are plenty of stupid characters, but they're not stupid because they're Southern; they're just stupid because they are characters in a horror film. And they are Southerners not because the filmmakers thought it would be funny to make them Southern. They are Southern because the film was made in the South, by people from the South, who probably mostly knew other people from the South and got them to be in the movie.

The direction is competent but unspectacular, working as most micro-budget films do around actual locations with limitations on what you can do with camera angles and lighting. It was co-directed by Chuck Hartsell (who also appears as Chuck the video store clerk in the movie) and Chance Shirley. Although I've savaged a number of micro-budget horror films in the past, I am impressed by the level of technical prowess possessed by many of the directors. There plenty of micro-budget horror films during the 80s and 90s, and almost all of them were wretchedly directed and recorded. Not all of this is attributable to the archaic nature of the equipment when compared to what the modern-day would-be director has at their disposal, though equipment plays a part. The big difference seems to be that we've moved from the realm of teenagers with no idea what they are doing to slightly older directors who are making earnest efforts to learn their craft. The dedication shows -- it's just too bad that similar dedication doesn't seem to get applied to acting and writing.

Speaking of which, Hide and Creep was written by the directors, and their skill at penning a script seems about on par with their direction in that it's just about getting good. They do, as I said, deliver a lot of solid bits. The task now is to simply weave them all together into a more consistent whole. Still, when you've suffered through multiple Brad Sykes films (yes, I kick him every chance I get -- but just so he doesn't feel bad, I still watch all of his movies) where neither the writing, acting, or directing ever seems to get better no matter how many movies he makes, it's nice to see a couple of guys who look like they are at a good starting point and will improve with each subsequent effort.

So while I may have said that plenty about the film doesn't quite work, and even that as a movie, it doesn't quite work, that doesn't mean it didn't work for me. I had a blast watching this movie, and the bad is definitely outweighed considerably by the good. Hide and Creep joins the ranks of films like The Stink of Flesh and Enter...Zombie King in that it makes me think that there might be hope yet for micro-budget horror film makers. Hide and Creep doesn't do everything right, but it shouldn't do everything right. What it should do, and what it does, is showcase some writing and talent that is just this close to getting it right. It's a movie with a lot of good and funny ideas and the ability to pull most of them off. Its missteps are forgivable, and though this is obviously a movie made by people who were having fun making a movie, it doesn't have to rely on, "they sure had fun making this movie" to be its only redeeming feature. It shows promise. And it made me laugh. Not at how bad the movie was, but at how funny some of the gags were.

Hide and Creep is the sort of movie I really wish was better than it is, because there are plenty of individual pieces worth watching. They just fail to come together into a cohesive film of the same quality. The subplot with the reverend could be trimmed entirely from the movie, and I don't think anyone would miss it. It contributes very little and seems ultimately to little more than padding. The characters in that story just aren't interesting or funny, and there the bad acting is just bad acting. It's the Tom Bombadil chapter of Hide and Creep. And yes, I know some people swear up and down that the Tom Bombadil chapter is their favorite part of The Lord of the Rings. Whenever someone says this, they are almost always just trying to be smart-ass and contrary. So look them square in the eye and ask them if Tom Bombadil is really their favorite part of The Lord of the Rings, then ask them to explain why. Then just haul off and let 'em have it with a good one to the jaw, because Tom Bombadil sucks.

Still, my feelings regarding Tom Bombadil aside, and the missteps of this film taken in consideration, I would heartily thrust thumb into the air and say, "Hell yeah!" Hide and Creep may not be a perfect endeavor, but it's solid never the less, and a worthy way to waste a bit of time.

Seriously, though. Fuck Tom Bombadil.

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posted by Keith at | 3 Comments


Monday, October 30, 2006

The Stink of Flesh

2005, United States. Starring Kurly Tlapoyawa, Ross Kelly, Diva, Billy Garberina, Kristin Hansen, Devin O'Leary, Andrew Vellenoweth, Bryan Gallegos, Dickie Collins, Liz Johnson, Tanith Fiedler, Alan Cordova, Bob Vardeman. Written and directed by Scott Phillips. Buy it now from Amazon.com.

Given equipment and modest funds, the aspiring micro-budget horror film director is going to make one of three types of horror movie. The two likeliest candidates are either a killer in the woods film or a zombie film. Running a distant third are the directors who set out to make a mopey goth-industrial vampire film, which are rarer owing to the fact that, unless the director is already friends with a lot of gothy types, he's going to have to spend a lot of money on frilly Renaissance Faire shirts and long leather trenchcoats that have been cinched in at the waist. Of the two leading candidates, I almost always prefer the zombie films, not just because I like zombies more than slashers, but also because…no, it's just because I like zombies more than slashers, and as such, find bad, boring zombie films to be more tolerable than bad, boring slasher films. of course, good zombie films are even better. Well, sometimes. Is there really anything better than Zombie III?

And if, like me, you are a friend of bad, boring zombie films, than this is truly a belle epoque for you. The rise of digital video filmmaking has seen a dramatic increase in the number of microbudget zombie films that get made, and the rise of cheap distribution through DVD and online rental shops that are more open to stocking any damn thing that comes their way means that there has, since the dawn of the new millennium, been a massive increase in the number of homemade zombie films being made. This is a good thing, provided you value the quantity of readily available zombie films over the quality, because most of the movies are still pretty bad. They may boast better editing and film quality than we enjoyed in the old shot-on-VHS days of Zombie Bloodbath, but very often the advances stop there, and we still get phenomenally awful acting, pacing, and scripting.

Recently, however, more filmmakers seem to be realizing that the standard Night of the Living Dead formula -- barricade a group of people inside a house and watch them argue and die for the next eighty minutes -- has very little to offer beyond what's already been done. So they try to come up with something new that still operates within the confines of the traditional definition of the zombie film. Shatter Dead, despite sundry flaws, was one of the first movies I remember that made an earnest attempt to place a different spin on the zombie film. I, Zombie was another one, but I seem to remember what that movie did differently was prove how phenomenally boring a zombie could be. Since then, we've seen a fair degree of "variation on a theme." It doesn't always work -- in fact, it rarely works, but hey, at least the effort is being made to come up with some new ideas.

Microbudget zombie film The Stink of Flesh is one of the movies that tries to come up with a different spin on the age-old story of the dead returning to mash pig entrails and raw meat against their face for the camera. Based on the title, you may think that this is a film about zombie hygiene, which I freely admit is a topic that goes largely unexplored. This is probably because there are few actors who can work with lines like, "Braaaaains...and Pert!" And yes, I assume zombies use Pert, because being reduced to the basest utilitarian instincts, a zombie is going to recognize the efficiency of having the shampoo and conditioner combined into a single product. Or maybe I'm confusing zombies with Germans.

Anyway, it doesn't matter, because this is not a movie about zombie skin care. What it is, however, is a unique take on the zombie scenario: what are a couple of swingers to do when a zombie crisis continuously dwindles the available supply of potential sex partners? The idea is as promising as it is absurd, but my initial fear was that it would be an exercise in tedium as I was forced to sit through countless scenes of some chintzy goth type expounding on some sex and death philosophy of sensuality that would sound like it was conceived, well, by some pretentious teenage goth rocker. I got enough of that when I was a pretentious teenage punk rocker with pretentious teenage goth rocker friends, and that was back when being a goth was a lot simpler and more affordable than it is today. All you needed back then was a Joy division t-shirt and a willingness to sit through the extended version of Bauhaus' "Bela Lugosi's Dead." I don't know when Klingon boots and leather trenchcoats and big, ugly nose rings like cows have got thrown into the mix. Of course, the person I knew who rambled on endlessly about "the sensuality of death" didn't look like those cute goth girls you see in movies or on Suicide Girls these days. She was a little more like...well, it wasn't the same. Let's just leave it at that.

Much to my delight and, I will admit, surprise, The Stink of Flesh steers clear of that sort of ponderous dialogue and manages to deliver a film that is actually pretty good, and certainly miles better than its micro-budget ilk. The writing is actually accomplished, the characters are developed (well, most of them), and it strikes a good balance between blood-spurting action and plot development. After wading through so many bad films, I was just about ready to give up hope that the micro-budget horror scene would ever produce a movie I wouldn't get grumpy about. And just as email was starting to come in telling that if I didn't like these movies, I shouldn't watch them and make fun of them, along rambles this one and proves my point: it's not that I don't like micro-budget horror films; I just didn't like your micro-budget horror film.

Not that I warmed to The Stink of Flesh right away. I was going in with a chip on my shoulder and the assumption mentioned above that I was going to have to suffer through lots of cut-rate philosophizing about sex and death. The introduction of our hero didn't help matters, purely because his name is Matool, and I think the hoary old act of naming the characters in your horror film after famous horror directors or stars -- or in this instance, locations -- is played out. Everyone's already done it, so lay off, man. Despite the name, however, my opinion started to change quickly once we learn a little about the man who his Matool and the world in which he lives.

There has been, needless to say, a zombie outbreak. No explanation is given, and honestly at this point, do we even need one? The drawn-out process of explaining the outbreak of zombies always strikes me as wasted time since it usually just ends up being, "meteors" or "toxic waste," which isn't an explanation worth spending much of a movie on. No, here we're dropped into the thick of things and expected to already get it. After all, who but zombie film fans will even bother watching this movie in the first place? Matool (Kurly Tlapoyawa, who you won't recognize from anything), having nothing better to do, cruises the backwaters of America and starts fist fights with zombies. For some reason, I really like that. Sure, he usually seals the deal by driving a big nail into the zombie's skull, but he spends the bulk of his zombie encounters engaged in fisticuffs. He's like a zombie bully.

He's also craving a little companionship, if you get my drift, which I think is a perfectly legitimate urge to explore even though it's been ignored by most other zombie films (Day of the Dead touches on it in a tangential sort of way). When he rescues a woman (Tanith Fiedler) from a zombie attack, one of his first thoughts after getting her to the relative safety of a creepy old pedophile's cabin (the pedo won't be interested in her, after all) is to try and get a little action. It may seem a callous misstep by Matool or the script, but think for a brief moment about the situation. If you live every day expecting that you could be killed in a horrific fashion at any moment, then just about every sensation becomes hyper intensified, and this usually includes the sex drive, especially if you haven't gotten to use it in a long time. I'm reminded by a scene from Babylon Five where Garibaldi hooks up with an infantrywoman right before she's being shipped out to a big battle where high casualties are a foregone conclusion. When he tried to pull the sensitive guy "we should take this slow" card, she gets irritated and basically responds by saying she's most likely going to be dead by this time tomorrow, and she doesn't want a loving relationship built on a solid foundation of caring and understanding. She just wants to fool around and feel alive one more time before she gets gunned down.

I don't think The Stink of Flesh communicates the sentiment quite as effectively (but then, Babylon 5 did it by just having a character spell it out), but as a man possessed of profound insight as well as ample experience with the heightened sense of life and passion that comes from a life of constant danger and adventure, I understand what's going on. Of course, the girl doesn't really share Matool's sentiments, and before to long her attempts to get away from Matool's clumsy advances and the creepy pedophile (Bob Vardeman) with his two young wards result in zombies crashing the party and having a gory chow-down. Only Matool and one of the kids (Bryan Gallegos) escape, but no sooner are they outside and on the run than Matool finds himself nailed in the head by the door of the pick-up truck. So it is that he finds himself in the company of swingers Nathan (Ross Kelly), and Dexy (whose credited name, Diva, sounds even more like a character name than her character's name). Matool's job is to get it on with Dexy while Nathan peeks. In return, Matool gets to relax for once and enjoy a steady stream of free food and safety. All in all, he's not too upset with the arrangement, even when Dexy's weird sister Sassy shows up to whack him on the ass and talk about her horrid little conjoined twin (not really the best realized special effect).

Things get complicated, however, when a group of soldiers show up. One of them has been bitten, and all of them are happy to take turns with Dexy, who hasn't had this many playthings in years. Unfortunately, Nathan has had about enough of things, and we learn he's not as decent a guy as we think he is (something to do with a murder and a naked zombie chick he keeps chained up in his shed). Folks start fighting over who "gets" Dexy, and the soldiers drag Matool into the bickering even though his reaction is basically, "Dude, I don't really care. I'll split. This is a weird scene anyway." Once again, internal breakdown results in a zombie stampede.

What The Stink of Flesh does right is be cleverer than most other zombie films, especially most other micro0budget zombie films. Other reviews have played up the sex angle of the story and tagged the film as a softcore porn romp with some zombies thrown in,. They must have watched a different movie than me. Although we're served up a gratuitous lesbian kiss and boob shot, and one naked zombie chick, the rest of the film's meager amount of nudity is presented in the form of Matool's bare ass, and guys bare asses are like a dime a dozen. You're lucky we ever even put the thing away. Although sex is an important part of the plot, it hardly burns up very much screen time, and you get much more nudity from the average Italian zombie film than you get here.

Parts of the film are somewhat dialogue heavy, but it never got especially tedious for me, usually because there was a zombie run-in waiting in the wings to spice things up. Plus, the characters are all actually pretty well developed. Matool is the rough and tumble average Joe who finds himself stuck in between the weird scene of a zombie plague and the weirder scene of a couple of swingers in the midst of a breakdown. Nathan starts out as a genuinely likable guy with a simple sexual kink, but we quickly discover there a lot more evil to him than we suspected. Rather than dwell on "isn't all kinky," the swinging aspect of the relationship between Nathan and Dexy is presented as being a relatively normal thing. After all, most everyone has their own weird kinks, and they only pretend not to be into something a little freaky. Witness: pretty much anyone on a morals-based committee in Congress. For our purposes here, Nathan is just a regular dude (well, at least he seems so at first), and Dexy is normal, too. Oh yeah -- Dexy, played by Diva (should anyone really be allowed to name themselves "Diva?" I don't think so), also turns in a fair performance as a woman who seems to be using her sexual kink not even so much as a means of enjoying herself as it is a way to forget the horror of what's going on outside.

In fact, this is ultimately less an examination of sex than it is simply a look at people desperately trying to cling to some recognizable vestige of their lives when everything has been turned upside down. in that sense, it shares a common theme with both Dawn of the Dead and to an even greater degree Land of the Dead. Although the set-up of trying to be a swinger when everyone else is dead sound humorous, the end effect is more chilling, as it becomes a look at people desperately clinging to something, anything, that will make them feel like at least some tiny corner of the world hasn't gone completely insane. This often comes, unfortunately, at the price of vigilance, as one gets so obsessed with the minutiae of creating a false sense of "regular life" that one tends to forget that there are still zombies out there, and not everyone has Matool hanging around in the den, ready to punch zombies in the face and hammer nails into their skulls..

The soldiers are even decent guys rather than the usual foaming mad psychopaths with which zombie films usually present us. And then there's the little kid, who doesn't do much acting but steals the film with his creepy grin for the final shot of the film. His role may be a largely silent one, but the plot ends up hinging on his actions in a way I really didn't expect.

The acting is uneven but never all that bad. As Matool, Kurly Tlapoyawa is understated but totally believable as the sort of Ultimate Fighting championship watching Hispanic guys I used to sit in the parking lot with, drinking corona and talking lucha libre. He strikes a nice balance between being energized by picking fights with zombies and just being tired of the whole zombie thing. He's also the inventor of a new scale of judging the attractiveness of women with the implementation of the "she'd be hot if there a zombie outbreak" classification. The rest of the cast surrounding Tlapoyawa aren't accomplished thespians, but they're decent actors inhabiting believably real characters who actually behave in a way that reflects how real people might behave, rather than the often illogical and idiotic way characters in a horror film behave because the scriptwriter was bad.

Speaking of the script, it's pretty good. It manages to be a variation on a theme. We still have a group of survivors holed up in a farmhouse and proving they are more dangerous to each other than the zombies amazing outside, but it does enough things a little differently that it doesn't feel like a tired old retread of previous, better films. And the film's exploration of sexuality in extreme conditions is well-executed and never becomes tiresome or domineering of the film's action. There are some plot points that are introduced and don't seem to go anywhere -- specifically the mention of fast-moving "hyper zombies" that seem thrown in simply to explain how a group of soldiers could be overcome and wounded by them -- but these prove to relatively minor missteps in a script that, for the most part, stays on course and focused. I'd rather have a couple dangling threads left over than sit through a movie with no plot at all, comprised of nothing but 90 minutes of people running through the woods.

It's obvious that writer-director Scott Phillips put some effort into the script, and for that I almost want to collapse prostrate before him and thank him endlessly. You see, micro-budget horror film makers? You see what can happen if you put some genuine effort into your story instead of dashing off a script in ten minutes because you are excited to get out into the woods and film people in gore make-up mashing pig innards against their faces? You get a movie that is actually good is what you get. Phillips' script may be clumsy in spots, but big deal. He has a script! He came up with an interesting hook, then made it work in a way that is actually intelligent. He worked on it, put thought into it, and has some talent for writing.

Phillips also has some previous experience with writing a script. In 1997, he penned the script for a modest little action film called Drive, starring Mark Dacascos (China Strike Force and Iron Chef America for some reason) and directed by effects wiz Steve Wang (Kungfu Rascals and those live-action Guyver films that thought it would be a good idea to have a jive-talking Jimmy walker in them). Drive remains largely ignored in the United States (it was unavailable on VHS or DVD for years), which is a shame because it was a damn good film. Since then, Phillips has worked primarily in the direct-to-DVD micro-budget horror ghetto, but frankly, he's a welcome member of the population, because he shows what is achievable if only you put a little work into the writing.

All this talk of plots, characters, and explorations of what to do with your sexual urges when most of the world has turned into unattractive zombies may make you think, as I feared before watching the film, that you're going to have to sit through something ponderous and talky. But Phillips also delivers the grue zombie film fans have come to expect from their beloved shambling mounds of rotting flesh. Kurly Tlapoyawa handles action scenes well, and there is plenty of spurting blood, oozing goo, and dangling gut stuff to remind you that this is still a zombie film. They are, for the most part, the same sort of practical effects we've been getting in low-budget zombie films for years now, but it's amazing how much better these effects are when they are surrounded by a good movie.

Finally, the music is pretty damn good. It seems we have exited the era of the metalhead dude zombie film director (fare the well and Godspeed you, Todd Sheets), and entered the era of the rockabilly dude zombie film director. I honestly have no idea if Scott Phillips is a rockabilly, but he certainly packs his film with plenty of garage rock meets dusty border town twang, which is a welcome respite from generic thrash metal. If rockabillies have become the stewards of the zombie film (another mcirobudget feature, Enter...Zombie King relies on a similar mix of garage rock and south of the border-tinged surf guitar, and need I even mention the rock 'n' roll zombies of Wild Zero?) and this is an example of the results, then the future looks bright. Well, brighter. You had your chance, metal dudes, and you blew it.

I don't know how much my glowing praise for The Stink of Flesh comes from the film itself and how much of it comes from the fact that, after sitting through so many awful and awfully boring films, finding one that is pretty good sends me into fits of hysterical glee. It's probably a mix of both, but all that matters at the end of the day is I finished watching The Stink of Flesh and was pleasantly surprised. Dawn of the Dead? No, not really, but even George Romero himself can't seem to match that one. The Stink of Flesh proves that being a micro-budget horror film is no excuse for being a bad film. And while I can sit here, in one review after the other, and harp on this fact, The Stink of Flesh does me one better and leads by example.

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posted by Keith at | 1 Comments


Thursday, October 26, 2006

Death Factory

2002, United States. Starring Tiffany Shepis, Lisa Jay, Karla Zamudio, Jeff Ryan, David Kalamus, Rhoda Jordan, Jason Flowers, Alyson Beal, Michael O'Karma. Written and directed by Brad Sykes. Buy it now from Amazon.com.

Time once again to visit the fertile crescent of microbudget horror film making that is the imagination of Brad Sykes. And by "fertile," I largely mean "spread over with manure." Sykes directed two films that were touched on in brief during our recent spat of micro-reviews, but this is the first time I'm giving the full treatment to one of his feature film endeavors. I figure if he took the time to make a feature-length film, then I should take the time to write a feature-length article about it.

The previous films mentioned here, Goth and Bloody Tease, represent the state of Sykes' filmmaking talent as of 2003 and 2005 respectively. If nothing else, comparing the two films shows at least some sort of progression in that Bloody Tease wasn't as completely boring and illogical as Goth. Plus, Bloody Tease was about vampire strippers, which is always an improvement over a film about pretentious Goth rockers named Goth who can't stop talking about what it means to be a true Goth. As well all know, anyway, being a true Goth means you wear furs, carry a big-ass battleaxe, and sacked Rome. And no one in that film sacked Rome, while some of the vampire strippers in Bloody Tease at least stripped their tops off.

Death Factory is a 2002 effort, which means it is potentially even worse than Goth provided that a filmmaker gets better with each round of experience. This is obviously never the case, not with microbudget filmmakers making movies with their friends, for their friends, and not with Francis Ford Coppola. Good for Death Factory and bad for Goth, Brad Sykes follows in the footsteps of Francis Ford Coppola (Sykes, if you ever read this, I agree to let you use the quote, "Follows in the footsteps of Francis Ford Coppola" in any promotional material you might generate) by having an older film that is much better than more recent efforts. Death Factory is still a phenomenally stupid movie thanks to -- and let's say this all together, to make sure we learn -- a bad script, but at least this is a bad script in which things continually happen and the microbudget film-sinking tendency to indulge in endless, badly acted dialogue is kept to a relative minimum. Plus, you have Tiffany Shepis, one of my favorite microbudget horror stars, flailing about in metal fangs, a thong, and a loose-fitting tank top, and that's gotta count for something.

And in the spirit of full disclosure, I can't call Tiffany a close friend, but she is a friend. She engaged in immoral activities with Enrique Camacho, who is is a close friend, right before he got his head chopped off. In the case of Death Factory, however, I don't think my acquaintance with her is going to color the review much, since her primary job is to make rolling-eye monster faces and rip open chests.

At this point, I think you should assume that a shot-on-video horror film's script is poorly written and the story horrendously derivative and predictable unless otherwise stated. And I'm not statin' anything otherwise for this movie. We open with the "two pointless characters get killed" prologue, and Sykes clues us in that, while he may not have the money for good mutant make-up or a convincing location, at least he paid enough money to get some chick to show her boobs in the first couple minutes of the film. Since another chick shows her boobs later on, I will assume this is where pretty much all of Death factory's budget went, and while I would have liked to have seen it spread about a little more liberally to non-boob-showing causes, I'm also not going to be one to fault a guy for throwing a little extra cash someone's way in exchange for some gratuitous nudity.

What we establish in the prologue, besides the presence of bare breasts, is that there is an abandoned factory on the edge of town, and people go in there to fool around but usually just wind up dead. I've made out in some strange places, and I've snuck into my share of abandoned buildings, but even I have to stop and declare that "the old abandoned biochemical plant where people keep getting murdered" is a little hard to swallow as a nookie spot -- and this is coming from someone who once made out in the high school vocational school auto garage. I snuck with a girlfriend into an abandoned, haunted tuberculosis hospital in Valley Station, outside of Kentucky (Waverly Hill -- you can see it on an episode of Ghost Hunters if you watch that sort of thing), but that's a Louisville teen tradition (I did it, my sister did it, and our parents did it before us) and we didn’t combine the sneaking with snogging, mostly because the insides of abandoned, haunted buildings are a tad squalid. Not to mention, you know, mostly empty. Also, we were scared -- of ghosts, of cops, and of the rumored gun-toting mercenary night watchman who prowled the grounds looking for teenagers sneaking into the place.

But then, I'm willing to give the factory a pass because, though I may have stuck primarily to fooling around in the back seat of a car (unfortunately, not a Camaro or a GTO or a boss custom van, but a white Olds with red vinyl interior -- kind of chilly on frosty autumn nights) the way proper American males are supposed to, I also worked for a summer as a movie theater usher and once busted a couple teens getting it on in the front row of King Ralph. Yes, I know. I, like some of you, did some fondling in a movie theater back in the day (including while employed as an usher), but I was smart enough to 1) pick the movie no one wanted to see, and 2) sit in the back corner seats). Who goes to the second-run dollar theater on a Saturday night and sits in the front row of King Ralph, a movie that was, at the time, packed with nothing but dads and their ten-year-old sons looking for some good fart jokes and scenes in which John Goodman teaches stuffy British royals how to lighten up and have a little fun! And it's not like they were exhibitionists; they were just stupid kids, and they were totally shocked and embarrassed when, after a couple complaints, I had to wander down and tell them to knock it off. They got so embarrassed, in fact, that they soon packed up, slunk out of the auditorium and, I assume, found themselves a nearby abandoned chemical factory to finish what they'd started.

So yeah, I guess teens will do it just about anywhere, especially if they're surrounded by arousing conditions, such as grimy old factories haunted by buxom mutants or with a giant 35mm projection of John Goodman singing "Good Golly, Miss Molly" in front of them.

Luckily, the abandoned biochemical factory of this movie is not only relatively clean as far as these places go, it also comes fully stocked with old couches (miraculously bug-infestation free) and even a goddamned four-post bed with clean linens. And there are no cops or grounds watchmen, and really, considering that the place was once a bio-weapons factory, very little in the way of locks and other obstructions to free entrance.

With our two pointless prologue victims handily dispatched, we get to meet our core cast of players, and yes, this will be yet another "group of kids go to an isolated location and are preyed upon by a killer" movie. This time around, we have the virginal good girl, her noble and hunky boyfriend who is somewhere between a prep and a nerd, the smart-alec tough girl, the metal and/or punk dude, and the black couple. As is often the case with these groups of people, there's no real logical reason why they would be friends with each other. Why does the fun-loving black dude hang out with the wet blanket white dude? Why is the virginal mousy girl friends with the obnoxious dyke? Oh well, friendships aren't always easy to explain.

They have big plans for the last day of their first year of college, and those plans involve going over to the black guy's parents' house and having a party. Except that his parents end up not leaving town, which is big of them considering how expensive it is to cancel or reschedule airline tickets these days (eventually, screenwriters are going to have to face financial reality and stop using "Oh no! My parents canceled their trip/came back early" as a plot point). And so our intrepid group of young heroes come up with the next best thing: let's all go to the abandoned factory on the edge of town, which is supposedly haunted, where people get killed, where there was a massive chemical disaster, so on and so forth.

Now, let's review. They're in college, but not a single one of them has their own apartment yet? Lame, man. And when one location falls through, their immediate option B is the abandoned factory? Not someone else's house? Not a bar or a club? Hell, they could just go to the park. Nope, it's straight to the abandoned factory, which would even be acceptable if they were just looking to goof off and do some property damage and spraypaint "Ozzy' on some crumbling walls. But their chief reason for getting together is to fool around and drink beer. Hell, if it was just drinking beer, even that I could understand. It's fun to break into places and drink beer. But the fooling around? In a factory? A DEATH factory, no less! Oh well -- at least the stupidity of our cast has been established early, so we won't be surprised later when they do things like split up and explore the dark hallways after they know a killer is hunting them down.

Inside the factory, pretty much exactly what you'd expect to happen, happens. Couples go to fool around, and they die. People "split up" to explore the factory and find a way out, and they die (and rightfully so -- if people are still pulling that "let's split up" jive at this point, they deserve to be picked off, one by one). The metal dude uses his special metal mental powers that give him total recall of all events having to do with mayhem, death, the occult, government cover-ups, and what Eddie was doing on the cover of each Iron Maiden album and fills everyone in on the history of the factory. The monster turns out to be a mutated former worker, and you can add child labor law violations to the long list of grievances against the factory, because if she was working there years ago, then she must have been all of fourteen on the first day of her employ.

Some mutants get green pustules all over. Some grow extra limbs and slobber gelatinous goo. The monster here, played by the aforementioned Tiffany Shepis, apparently got splashed with a chemical that makes you wear a thong, metal claws, thigh-high black stockings, and a loose, side-boob revealing t-shirt. What kind of factory was this, again? The mutation also makes her crave human blood, which accounts for all the throat and chest ripping that goes on. Death Factory delivers on the blood, but once you've splashed a fair amount of it about, what's the point in doing it again and again? After the first couple ripped throats and slashed chests, seeing a couple more ripped and slashed in exactly the same fashion isn't all that interesting. Still, at least Brad Sykes throw some gore on screen fairly often. While death factory be derivative and unimaginative and feature an abandoned factory where a couple finds a fully-made four-post bed in one of the rooms, but at least once the scenario is established, we don't waste a whole lot of time. We waste some time, but in terms of the average micro horror film, at least Sykes seems to have trimmed much of the fat. The end result is like micro horror McDonalds. It's not good, you know exactly what's going to happen, but at least it doesn't beat about the bush.

I think we've established the shortcomings of the set, which seem to be a recurring theme for Sykes' films (Bloody Tease featured a strip club that looked suspiciously like someone's basement with some sheets hanging up and a coupe rows of metal folding chairs). The building could certainly pass for abandoned, but not for an abandoned factory, as it lacks any and all factory stuff. Instead, there are drywalled rooms with couches and beds and some broken chairs strewn about the place. And it's not like these are industrial couches or chairs or beds. They're wooden and look like they came from someone's grandparents' house. And the doors aren't metal; they're flimsy wood (or cardboard -- I can hardly tell). I guess, as I reasoned earlier, Sykes spent all his money on fake blood, gratuitous boob shots, and a completely inexplicable cameo by Ron Jeremy as a homeless dude who wanders in at random and gets killed. Thus, he had no money left for proper and convincing set dressing.

As if often the case with this type of film, acting is wildly inconsistent. Shepis has demonstrated previously that she's a decent performer. Here, however, she has no lines other than gurgling and snarling, and her role consists mostly of flashing a steel-fanged grin (what the hell kind of mutation is this, again?) and doing that sort of writhing gait I can only call "goblin stride." If you've ever seen the way goblins caper about in fantasy films, then you know the walk to which I refer. The rest of the cast is pretty forgettable. None of them are so egregiously awful that they stick out as being something special. They're just blandly "somewhat incompetent."

Likewise, Sykes' direction could be called "blandly competent." He doesn't really have much to offer beyond pointing the camera at the scene and filming it, which is OK. Better than over-direction, anyway. It does leave one with little to criticize or commend, so the direction is succinctly summed up by saying that things are staged for the movie, and Brad Sykes successfully records these things. Special effects consist mostly of the usual spurting blood and fake entrails, both of which are delivered in generous quantities but, as I said, never in a way that makes their presence all that special or imaginative. There is a pretty good eye gouging scene, though. The editing is better than we see in most micro films, and while some tedium and overlong moments still exist, death factory is mercifully trimmed of much of the padding and fat that makes other micro horror films so intolerable. All in all, it's an all right effort.

The biggest problem facing Death Factory is that, while it executes the tired old formula in a fairly energetic manner, it's still executing tired old formula with nothing new to offer. There's nothing wrong with trafficking in cliche; you just have to make sure you do it better than other people who are doing the same thing, and on that count, Brad Sykes both does and doesn't deliver. He delivers better than a lot of the other micro-budget horror films, but not against other films in general -- and this is a point on which budgetary constraints don't matter as much, so no free pass there. I can watch plenty of other "group of people gets hunted down and killed" movies that are better. There are plenty that are worse, too, but mediocrity isn't really something to which a film should strive. But that's what Death Factory achieves. The third-act revelation might explain why at least one member of the cast was anxious to go to the factory, but it's hardly an unexpected twist (in fact, I'd just seen the exact same twist a couple films earlier in another micro-budget horror film, Blood Oath -- though it was more of twist there, not to mention more nonsensical in terms of the plot -- and I'll take "happily nonsensical" over "pointlessly predicatble" any day). The characters are the usual bunch, and to their credit, while they are all so cliche that they could have been summoned straight from the mind of Jon Triton in order to fool Ol' Scratch (if you don't get that reference, you really should), at least they aren't completely unlikeable. In fact, the "black couple" seemed like they'd be sort of fun to hang out with, though I still wonder why not a single one them had their own apartment or knew anyone with their own apartment.

Compared to the other Brad Sykes films I've seen, and compared to the bulk of micro horror films floating around, Death Factory is pretty good. But that's relative to the likes of Goth and Blood Gnome, mind you. If you have a soft spot for micro-budget horror films, or if you are simply in the mood for something that is predictable but still gory and adequate, Death Factory stands up all right. I can't imagine anyone getting overly enthusiastic about the movie -- I'm certainly not -- but I can't imagine anyone getting completely vitriolic about it, either. It just sort of exists, does some things well, does a lot of things poorly, and is sort of like, to steal a description from a friend, eating oatmeal. It's not really something to get excited about, and it's not something to which you look forward, but it's OK while going down.

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posted by Keith at | 2 Comments


Monday, September 04, 2006

Mortuary

Tobe Hooper. The name strikes in me an emotional response that I might best term "neutrambivalence"... He's brought us fun work the likes of Lifeforce and Salem's Lot; he's brought us classics such as Return of the Living Dead, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Poltergeist; and then, like many horror directors, he also seems to have directed a lot of mediocre-to-lousy crap. He also, apparently, did some kind of remake of The Toolbox Murders, which I haven't seen but conceptually support; if you're going to remake something, you ought to make significant changes, and if you're going to do that, then the film might as well be one that no one really cared about to begin with. Y'know, it's like taking lead and making... well, if not gold, at least burnished lead or maybe some kind of low-grade copper.

So overall, my reaction to Hooper goes through stages kind of like those of grieving or healing: first pleasure, then confusion, then repulsion, then irritation, then neutrality. Neutrality with more than a hint of cynicism, actually... For instance, after seeing the changes he wrought from John Russo's original concept for Return of the Living Dead, it's hard to take him too seriously, even if a faithful adaptation of the wretched book would never have been even a tenth as successful.

Mortuary is an interesting work which sort of produced a microcosm of my feelings about the director... I felt variously interested, irritated, disappointed, amused, and ultimately some strange amalgam of ambivalent and disinterested. And just like Hooper's career (in my eyes, and my opinion is more humble than my words might make it sound), the film has some great high points, some dismal low points, and a lot of general decent-to-mediocre stuff in between.

The idea for this movie is simple--and, one might object, also predictable--but I also think it's good. I mean, it gets too easy to start complaining about predictability in movies. Sometimes it's nice to have a film that continually surprises you or changes your thinking, but other times it's nice to know that when you're renting a zombie film, somewhere along the lines it'll really have zombies in it (Zombie Island Massacre and others of your ilk, I'm glaring in your direction). The point of a movie--as far as I can tell, which might not be all that far--isn't always to astonish you with what you weren't expecting, but just to tell a story and tell it right.

The setting is an actual old house in Pomona with an old graveyard in it which--according to the cast and crew in the DVD's featurette--is supposed to be haunted. Either way, the house looks great for a horror film. It's dilapidated and old, and the surrounding area is suitably desolate. In the film, it has recently been purchased by the Doyle family (consisting of a single mother and two kids) because the mother, Leslie, wants to start a career as a mortician, and moreover a new life, hence the drive across the country (from somewhere 26 hours away). Upon arrival, they find that the septic tank backed up from recent rainfall, flooding the yard with sewage, stale water, and whatever chemicals and waste were drained from the mortuary area years ago. This on one hand seems cliched and maybe over-the-top; on the other hand, it also foregrounds the very palpable, visceral tone which zombies epitomize. So overall, I'm for it.

The downstairs is still filled with coffins, the lights hardly work, the house was never cleaned by a prison crew as the 'realtor' (a local politican) promised because the prisoners weren't allowed to be exposed to the chemicals, and to top it all off, there are rumors in circulation that the deformed and deranged son of the former inhabitants of the house (who themselves were brutally killed) is still alive somewhere on the premises. You might say, "Well, I'd never let anyone I loved live in a place like that, new career or not." Well... yeah. That's kind of a pitfall here. Yet Leslie Doyle is clearly meant to be obsessed with her chance for a Fresh Clean Start (tm), and is also perhaps a bit irresponsible, as we can see when she's sorting utensils out of a moving box: "Hm... Embalming... Kitchen... Embalming... Definitely kitchen... Ooh, embalming..."

Her teenaged son Jonathan is at an awkward enough age without being thrown into a small town hundreds of miles from his previous school and having to live in the local haunted house where his mother cuts up dead bodies. Hm... though sadly enough, that sort of situation might have made me less awkward in high school. His sister is, essentially, just a kid, sometimes scared, sometimes exuberant, and always quite admirably portrayed by Stephanie Patton, who's a much better child actress than most films of this sort can ever obtain.

There are competing strands of horrific narrative in this film, some regarding the history of the house and its Boo Radley-like rumored occupant, and then some strange sort of CGI fungus/sludge that appears to love the taste of blood and propagate through fluid transmission. At a more or less appropriate time, zombies also enter the mix, sometimes articulate and Pet Sematary-like, sometimes shambling and sort of Fulci-esque, but always undead and that's hard not to appreciate.

I'm fine with irrational characters, sometimes. It's kind of ridiculous to imagine any remotely sympathetic mother letting her kids live in a place loaded with mortuary contaminants and bad wiring, but the movie sells it well enough that I'll buy it. However, I don't buy so freaking many people constantly walking into very dark, secluded parts of an old and falling-apart house with either 1) no lighting device of any kind, or 2) just a lighter if there are flashlights downstairs. That's not even a matter of avoiding monsters, it's just a matter of what the hell are you doing if you can't see anything in an old house filled with sharp, rusted objects and floorboards that might well be rotted through?

I make allowances insofar as I can, but frankly, the characters in Mortuary are hard to believe sometimes, although in general they're more sympathetic than I expected them to be. The CGI fungus looks unnatural (not preternatural or supernatural), not to mention stultifying. And the zombies... well, as I said, they're uneven and often hiding conveniently behind easy-to-close doors sort of as if this were a Scooby-Doo cartoon. In fact, Scooby Doo might provide the right visual images if you want to imagine some of the action sequences, too, which I wouldn't exactly call "well-choreographed." And to round off my main complaints... the ending is terrible. I won't explain, just so you can see for yourself, but... it's one of those cheap endings that makes a bad horror flick that much worse.

As I always say, if you're as rabid a zombie movie watcher as I am, there's no point in giving you any pronouncements as to whether or not you should see this. And unlike some "zombie" films, it actually has some zombies in it. In the end, I guess that's the best recommendation I can give this film. "It has zombies in it." Watch at your own risk.

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posted by Ryan at | 6 Comments