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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Return of the Bastard Swordsman

Part two of this two-part review, like the movie being reviewed, can't really be read without part one. Or it could, but it makes less sense. That part covers Return of the Bastard Swordsman, the death of the Shaw Brothers studio and Shaw style of martial arts movie, and because I'm a long-winded and pompous ass, dwell in more detail on the parallels between the rise and fall of Hammer Films in England and of the Shaw Brothers in Hong Kong. And Elvis.

Digg this article. 1983, Hong Kong. Starring Norman Chu, Alex Man, Anthony Lau, Chen Kuan Tai, Goo Goon Chung, Lo Lieh, Kong Do, Lau Siu Kwan, Liu Lai Ling, Sun Chien, Chan Lau, Chan Shen, Cheng Miu, Philip Ko, David Lam. Directed by Lu Chun-Ku. Buy it from HKFlix.

1983 was an exceptionally big year for Hong Kong cinema. Ching Siu-tung's Duel to the Death, Tsui Hark's Zu, and Project A featuring the first major on-screen teaming of Jackie Chan, Sammo Hung, and Yuen Biao, all hit the screens during that year. So did Aces Go Places II, a sequel to the wildly popular Sam Hui-Karl Maka action comedy of the previous year. It was a good time to be the Hong Kong film industry. Things were up in the air to be sure, as they often are during a rebirth, but there was no getting around that this was a year of incredible, ground-breaking films.

Lost somewhere in the mix was a more modest offering called Bastard Swordsman from the Shaw Brothers Studio. By 1983, The Shaw Brothers studio that had ruled Hong Kong since the 1960s, was all but dead and buried. By the time they figured out their approach -- both on-screen and off -- was no longer viable, it was too late, and Golden Harvest had become the dominant player on the field, with Tsui Hark's upstart Film Workshop providing an alternative outlet for film makers who had more ambitious artistic visions or, like Tsui Hark himself, simply couldn't get along with other people.


Bastard Swordsman wasn't a bad film. In fact, it was rather exceptionally fun. But it was also decidedly old-fashioned at a time when the New Wave was beginning to roar with full force. There were attempts to graft some of the look and feel of the New Wave onto the film, but while they may have succeeded in some spots (just as many New Wave films still had bits that looked old-fashioned, at least in terms of special effects), the overall result was a martial arts fantasy film that belonged to the previous decade. Despite the merits of the film, and perhaps because of longstanding legal wrangling over release of the Shaw Brothers library onto home video, Bastard Swordsman all but disappeared from the public consciousness while other films from the same year -- especially those mentioned above -- were revered as classics of Hong Kong action cinema.

A number of things conspired to bring the end of the Shaw Brothers studio, and once again in the spirit of drawing comparisons across genres and countries so as not to become exclusively focused on one aspect of film at the expense of seeing its connection to other aspects, it pays to compare the final days of the Shaw Bros to those of Hammer Films in England and, curiously enough, to the career of Elvis Presley.


With the glut of martial arts films that flooded the 1970s in the wake of Bruce Lee's popularity, and with the increasingly slapdash production values of many of those films, it was inevitable that an eventual backlash against -- or at the very least, complete boredom with -- the genre would bubble to the surface. This began to happen at the end of the 1970s, and it was only through the innovations of Jackie Chan, Sammo Hung, and action-comedy luminary Michael Hui, that the kungfu film found a new approach and continued to flourish. Unfortunately for the Shaws, all this flourishing was happening over at rival studios like Golden Harvest and Cinema City. Young, innovative film makers were unwilling to sign on to work with the creaking Shaw Brothers studio, opting for freedom and more artistic control rather than locking themselves into an outdated and oppressive studio system. With their old guard too old to deliver they way they used to, and no new guard lined up to inherit the mantle, the Shaw Brothers studio found itself floundering without direction or much hope for the future.

Hammer Studios, with whom the Shaw Brothers had collaborated in the past (on, among other things, Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires starring Peter Cushing and David Chiang), had undergone almost the exact same crisis a decade before. When Hammer released a trio of horror films in the late 50s -- Horror of Dracula, Curse of Frankenstein, and The Mummy -- they revolutionized and revitalized horror cinema almost over night. And while the studio produced a wide variety of movies, it was horror that defined them and became their bread and butter. When one mentions "Hammer films," one invariably thinks of the horror films rather than their pirate or war movies. Hammer's horror formula was so effective, however, that they never bothered to tinker with it, and as the 1960s wore on, Hammer found themselves suddenly losing ground. Where they had once been the controversial trendsetters, they were fast becoming the out-of-date fogies. They were unwilling to change the look or the formula, and rather than attempting to create new properties, they relied excessively on Frankenstein and Dracula and on their two biggest stars, Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee.


By 1970, Hammer's unwillingness to revise its way of doing business and presenting pictures was doing the company in more effectively than any stake through Christopher Lee's heart. New audiences, wrapped up in the social turmoil and upheaval of the Vietnam era, saw Hammer films as nothing more than their parents' square old movies. Hammer execs were, by and large, square and old, and their last-ditch attempts to make the studio relevant again met with all the success you would expect from sixty-year-old British guys trying to write hip, counter-culture lingo into a Dracula film. No one was buying it, and by the middle of the 1970s, Hammer was dead.

For the first few years of that decade, however, their desperate attempts to right the ship and remain afloat produced some of their best films, though very few people recognized them as such at the time. But Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell, Taste the Blood of Dracula, Vampire Circus, Twins of Evil, Captain Kronos, Vampire Hunter -- these are all, in my opinion anyway, exceptionally good films. Vampire Circus and, to an even greater extent, Captain Kronos, represent everything that was right and wrong with Hammer. In Captain Kronos, they found the new direction the studio was seeking. Boasting a more action-packed, swashbucking approach, with more wit and comedy courtesy of a writer who was best known at the time for the quirky British spy-fi series The Avengers, it's entirely possible that Captain Kronos could have been the life preserver that kept Hammer from drowning.

Unfortunately, studio executives showed no faith in the potential of the film, and a sequel was never made. Instead, they returned to Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee, and Dracula, preferring to sink on a familiar boat than risk an unfamiliar life raft. Their attempts to graft a hip, young face onto the hoary old Dracula franchise was met with indifference and derision from both critics and the young audiences so vital to the survival of horror films. And while Dracula A.D. 1972 has its entertaining aspects in retrospect, it's hard not to imagine how laughable all the woefully out-of-date "cool" lingo would have been to young viewers at the time.


Ten years later, the Shaws were finding themselves in almost the exact same dire straights, and they handled it in exactly the same way. With more faith and more money, and with a willingness to give young film makers a freer artistic and business related reign, it's possible that the studio could have found a new direction and continued, if not to thrive, than at least to exist. But they didn't do this. They stuck to the same old system, and the same old formula. By this time, Chang Cheh films could practically write and direct themselves, and the venerable old master was hardly up to the challenge of trying to reinvent himself or his films this late in the game. If there was any hope for the studio, it was in the form of Chu Yuan and Liu Chia-liang, but both were increasingly uncomfortable within the confines of the Shaw system.

Still, as with Hammer, this dark period at the end of the Shaw saga resulted in some of the very best films they ever produced, particularly courtesy of Liu Chia-liang, whose frenetic choreography and more character-driven films provided the vital step between the old and new, between the Shaw and Golden Harvest style. Many of his films, especially those from the tumultuous 1980s, are regarded today as masterpieces of kungfu cinema. But it was too little too late, and although Liu was an exceptionally gifted film maker, the weight of the whole of the Shaw Brothers machine was too great for him to support on his own.


By 1985, it was all over. Runrun Shaw didn't see any hope in sticking things out, and in the end, he was happier to see the ship go down than try any more reconstruction. Unable to support the lavish budgets that had been the calling card of past productions, the Shaw output started to look more and more like television productions -- which was fitting, as studio head Runrun Shaw had himself all but given up on theatrical releases and was investing his money in TV production.

It would have been fitting, back in the 1970s, if the last film Hammer produced had been something like Captain Kronos or even Twins of Evil. Both of these films were quite good, and even if the end of the studio was unavoidable, at least people would be able to look back and say that Hammer went out with a good movie. Unfortunately, it just wasn't the case. Disregarding forays into comedy, the last horror film Hammer produced was the astoundingly dismal To the Devil, a Daughter, starring a completely uninterested Richard Widmark who kills the high priest of the Antichrist by throwing a rock at him. It was a sorry, sorry nail to be the final one in the coffin. Similarly, the Shaw Brothers could have ended on a high note if Return of the Bastard Swordsman had been their final film, because it retains all the charm and energy of the first film but packs in even more action and weirdness. And it feels a lot like a last film, with Lo Lieh and Chen Kuan-tai returning to play memorable roles alongside many other Shaw stars, including some of the Venoms (though Ti Lung and David Chiang are missing).

Unfortunately, release schedules conspired against the Shaws going out on a high note, and the last kungfu film released by the Shaw Brothers as an independent entity was the perhaps too aptly titled Journey of the Doomed, a dismal (but not without entertainment value) and seedy failure of a film that is very much the Shaw equivalent of To the Devil, A Daughter, relying on sleaze, titillation, and a couple recognizable stars to keep audiences from noticing what a dreary, tedious, mess their final genre film was. It didn't work for Hammer, and it didn't work for the Shaw Brothers.


Both studios made the cardinal mistake that can kill any pop culture phenomenon and is perhaps best embodied by the career of Elvis Presley -- because I love making wild and seemingly ridiculous comparisons of that nature. Elvis, like Hammer and the Shaw Brothers films, came to pop culture prominence as the dangerous rebel, the rule-breaker and the hip-shaker. His rock and roll and on-stage pelvic antics were to pop music what the Shaw Brothers gory swordsman films of the 1960s were to Hon Kong cinema, and what Hammer's gory monster films were to British and American cinema. They outraged censors, befuddled critics, but enthralled young audiences.

But all three of them refused to move forward. Elvis remained the 50s icon throughout the 60s and 70s, but society moved on around him. Stuck in time, Elvis became increasingly square looking as pop culture evolved around him. Before he knew it, he was singing for middle aged housewives in Vegas while the youth market mocked and ridiculed him. The same things happened to Hammer and the Shaw Brothers. Entertainment and tastes evolved. They did not. Any attempt to recreate themselves was short-circuited by fear of the unknown, and no sooner would they try something different than they would retreat into the cobweb-strewn familiarity of a Chang Cheh film, or a Dracula film. In the end, it killed them all. Elvis' swansong was as an overweight drug addict in a sequined jumpsuit. To the Devil, A Daughter and Journey of the Doomed were the sequined jumpsuits for Hammer and the Shaws respectively. Amid the ugliness of their demise, it's hard to notice sometimes that there was still a lot of worthwhile material in those final hours.


Because the story for Bastard Swordsman was so sprawling, the production spanned two films, so although the series was unable to compete with the New Wave, the second part, Return of the Bastard Swordsman hit screens a year later. By this time, the Shaw Bros. were almost completely moribund, and indeed according to some sources, although the official date for the closure of production at the studio is given as 1985, the actual date may have been as early as 1983 or 1984, with the films coming out after that being things that were already in the can. It certainly seems likely that Return of the Bastard Swordsman was in production at the same time as the first film, as they share the same cast, crews, and sets. Indeed, Return of the Bastard Swordsman would have been a fitting close to the Shaw era, for while it may have been dated, it was still a ridiculously enjoyable movie.

The story picks up pretty immediately after the end of the first film. Having mastered the powerful Silkworm technique and saved Wudong from a would-be usurper, Yen-fei (Norman Chu) has retired to a life of contemplation alongside his wife (played again by Lau Suet-wah), the daughter of the late master of the Wudong school. I must have missed something here, because as is revealed to absolutely no one's surprise in the first film, the Wudong master is also Yen-fei's father (and mysterious hooded teacher), with the mother being the wife of the leader of Invincible Clan. Which would mean Lau's character is Yen-fei's half-sister, which isn't all that cool for a marriage even within the screwy universe of the Martial World. I must have gotten confused at some point, or maybe there was so much stuff going on that no one making the film noticed. I'm sure there was a line that would explain away their potential blood relationship. Right?


Since Yen-fei's departure, things have been relatively quiet, at least by Martial World standards. But that's not going to last for long, as a story about quiet and relaxing times in the Martial World would not be very much fun. For starters, the Wudong school still pretty much blows. There only seem to be a few competent students, and the cowardly, sniveling old elders are still hanging around. And the leader of Invincible Clan (Alex Man, once again) is still lurking about out there and presumably still has it in for Wudong. At this point, I really can't blame him. Those guys are worthless. But the big problem looming on the horizon is the fact that a ninja clan from Japan has noticed all this complicated Martial World squabbling, and they've decided that this sort of convoluted nonsense full of backstabbing and shenanigans is perfect for ninjas. They're pissed that it's been an all-China affair up to this point.

The leader of the ninja clan is played by none other than Chen Kuan-tai, one of the venerable old stars from the glory days of the Shaw Brothers kungfu film, on hand no doubt to lend a little fading star power to the proceedings (though I'm not sure Chen Kuan-tai was that big a draw by 1984). Just as the Invincible Clan has Fatal Skills and Yen-fei has Silkworm Technique, the ninjas have their own bizarre magical style that they think entitles them to rule the Martial World. The style allows Chen Kuan-tai to use his heartbeat to take over the heartbeat of his opponent, allowing him to wreak havoc with their pulse until they finally cough up their own heart. Using the power also causes Chen Kuan-tai to glow red while his chest inflates, because, you know, whatever man. Ninjas.

In order to prove the superiority of his chest-burtsing technique, Chen Kuan-tai takes his most trusted and weird ninjas to China, where he intends to kill both Yen-fei and the leader of Invincible Clan. Faced with challenges from the almighty Invincible Clan and these seemingly unbeatable ninjas, the elders of Wudong dispatch a young student (Lau Siu-kwan) to track down the only man who could possibly beat these guys: Yen-fei. Along the way, Lau meets up with a fortune teller (Philip Ko) whose kungfu seems to be at least as powerful as that of all the other ultra-powerful guys we've seen flying around and shooting beams out of their hands. While they're all out looking for Yen-fei (is this movie ever going have a bastard swordsman who returns?), Wudong assembles the leaders of all the remaining Martial World clans in hopes that together they might successfully defend themselves from Invincible Clan, although again, once you meet all these backstabbing, cowardly leaders, it's hard not to sympathize with the Invincibles. Before this coalition of the sniveling can get much done in the way of fighting the Invincible Clan, however, the ninjas show up to slaughter everyone and pin the blame on Invincible Clan in hopes that this will expedite Yen-fei's emergence from his reclusive lifestyle.


Yen-fei does eventually show up, though to be honest, this movie is a lot like Ivanhoe in that it spends a lot of time talking about the title character while the title character spends a lot of time resting and recuperating from various wounds. The bulk of the action is carried by Philip Ko, and later by Philip Ko and Anthony Lau as a noble doctor who also seems to have near invincible kungfu. Exactly how these two guys achieved such great power is never really explained, and they just sort of wander onto the scene and help Yen-fei out. Yen-fei, for his contribution to the story, doesn't seem capable of beating either Invincible Leader or the Ninja, at least until he spends a good long while hibernating in a cocoon in a cave.

Very little changes between this film and the first. The look and feel are identical, and the production values are the same. Some characters are out -- we never see the wife or daughter of Invincible Leader again -- while new ones are in, including the fortune teller, the doctor, and another more conniving doctor played by Lo Lieh. Return of the Bastard Swordsman has less character development, as most of that was accomplished in the first film, leaving room for more action in the sequel. This is neither good nor bad, as the characters helped make the first film compelling. If you watched this one without watching the first one, you'd probably be able to figure most things out (it's all summarized for you anyway), but it wouldn't be nearly as good. Chen Kuan-tai shows up with his magical ninjas to fulfill the role of full-blown villain that was left vacant when Yen-fei reduced that wandering swordsman to a pile of bloody bones at the end of the first film, and Invincible Leader remains a complex and interesting quasi-villain with whom we can still side when he's faced with an even greater villain. In fact, the showdown between Invincible and the ninjas is not the film's finale, but it is far and away the best fight scene in the film, with the end being both heroic and melancholy, and a great way to resolve the story of the Invincible Clan.

By comparison's Yen-fei's quest to attain the supreme level of Silkworm Technique is less intriguing, but that's not to say Norman Chu doesn't hold up his end of the bargain, even if his bastard swordsman is reduced to supporting character for much of the film. The finale is still his, or at least it's his and Philip Ko's. Perhaps taking a page from Jackie Chan's playbook, the finale sees Yen-fei realize that, in all likelihood, he can't beat Chen Kuan-tai (a nod, perhaps, to Chen Kuan-tai in Executioner from Shaolin, in which he was the hero engaged in an equally hopeless battle against a superior foe) and so must rely on cleverness, endurance, and the assistance of his friends. Their system for beating Chen Kuan-tai recalls another great Shaw Brothers film, Crippled Avengers, and once again someone discovers that a drum-based defense is best foiled by, you know, breaking all the drums.

Return of the Bastard Swordsman is a superb conclusion to the story that began in the first film. Thanks to the inclusion of ninjas, we get even more bizarre fights than in the first film, and we get them more frequently. I would have preferred maybe a little more involvement from our bastard swordsman, and maybe some explanation as to how some of the supporting characters manage to be just as powerful as the principals, but in the end, I am also pretty happy to let those small quibbles be washed away in the tide of just how much fun this movie is. It's good to see old hands like Lo Lieh and Chen Kuan-tai coming out for another go-round, and Norman Chu once again manages to infuse humanity and vulnerability in a character that becomes ever-closer to a God. The real show, however, is as it was with the first film, Alex Man as the leader of the Invincible Clan. He shows a voracious appetite for the scenery and plays everything wildly over the top, which is a style perfectly suited for this type of film. Movies full of magical ninjas, wizards, and guys shooting laser beams out of their hands really aren't well suited for subtlety. His final fight really makes the movie for me, and Norman Chu's actual finale seems almost to pale in comparison.


Yuen Tak's action choreography is once again a solid mixture of straightforward sword fighting and kungfu placed alongside fanciful supernatural skills realized with the same crude but entertaining effects as the first film. As I said at the beginning of this article, the effects were cheap and behind the times, but it's not like, looking back from our vantage point today, the effects of movies like Zu don't look just as crude. They may have been a major leap forward compared to Return of the Bastard Swordsman in the early 1980s, but now they all look rather archaic, and that makes it easier to appreciate the two Bastard Swordsman films without getting hung up over how old-fashioned they seemed at the time of their release. Return of the Bastard Swordsman is sort of like Clash of the Titans, a film that used Ray Harryhausen's stop-motion special effects after George Lucas style effects had put such things out to pasture. Past their prime or not, though, the effects in Clash of the Titans are still a lot of fun, as are the effects in Return of the Bastard Swordsman. Wires, jump cuts, garishly colorful animation -- considering how insane the whole world presented to us in these movies is, I don't really see much point in saying, "Nuh-uh, that's not how shooting crackling energy beams out of your palm looks like in real life."

Since this really is just the second half of one long film, I wouldn't recommend seeing Return of the Bastard Swordsman without or before Bastard Swordsman, just as there's not much point to Bastard Swordsman unless you move on to Return of the Bastard Swordsman. Although neither film was the final curtain for the Shaw Brothers studio, they never the less serve as an excellent note on which to pretend things ended. As far as anything-goes martial arts mayhem may go, the Bastard Swordsman saga may indeed not measure up to the films of the New Wave. It may lack the breakneck choreography of Jackie Chan and Ching Siu-tung, or the technical ambition of Tsui Hark, but none of these short-comings really matter in the long run, because Bastard Swordsman and Return of the Bastard Swordsman are still spectacularly fun wuxia fantasies with a comprehensible -- albeit somewhat loony -- plot and solid characters. It wasn't the movie that stemmed off the end for the Shaw Brothers martial arts film, but as far as "end of an era" free-for-alls go, you'd be hard-pressed to find another one with this much unbridled entertainment value.

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posted by Keith at | 10 Comments


Friday, February 22, 2002

Bandits, Prostitutes, and Silver

1978, Hong Kong. Starring Don Wong Dao, Angela Mao Ying, Lo Lieh, Tao Wong.

Well, sooner or later we were going to have to address this, so it might as well be now. Arena Video, or maybe you know them as Xenon. Whatever the name may be, you certainly know their trailer for Black Spring Break. Since groups like the Wutang Clan revitalized the popularity of old school kungfu films among fans of hip hop, Xenon was quick to cash in on the trend. They grabbed every old kungfu film they could get their grubby mitts on, made ultra-shitty EP speed dupes of them, changed the names to something stupid, and dumped them on the market knowing suckers like me who knew better would still shell out a few bucks here and there for certain titles.

Xenon is a rotten company, make no doubt about it. Not as rotten as Tai Seng video, but still plenty sleazy. Just about every movie they got -- and I doubt they have the rights to most of them, since a good lot of their releases are nothing more than third or fourth generation dupes of the old Ocean Shores dubbed video cassettes -- they changed the title to have something to do with the Wutang Clan. Previously, they retitled everything to have something to do with Shaolin, and before that, I bet they were the ones going around adding "Ninja" to the title of every kungfu film back in the early 1980s. The implication is twofold: 1) black folks love kungfu movies, and 2) black folks are too stupid to realize this movie has nothing to do with hip hop music.

Assumption number one I can't contest. A healthy love of kungfu films is a requirement, in my opinion, so anyone displaying such a love gets points in my book. As for point number two, well that's obviously a load of nonsense. I doubt anyone but the dimmest kid, regardless of color, actually believes a movie was ever made with the title Wutang Hos, Thugs, and Scrillah, but they called a movie by that title anyway. This is to say nothing of the seemingly endless number of films they bought and called Rumble in Hong Kong or Chow Yun-fat's Hardboiled Killer. When it comes to insulting blacks and attempting to dupe people new to the world of Asian films, Xenon/Arena has absolutely no shame. Sammo Hung was never the Phat Dragon, and there was never a movie called Wutang Matrix. That last one is one of my favorites. I mean, what the hell? Did they honestly think someone was going to believe it was related in some way to the over-rated Keaneu Reeves sci-fi film? Geez, they have nothing but utter contempt for their target audience.

Frankly, I can live with insulting and stupid retitling if it means I'm able to get nice looking copies of movies I love. Despite the absurd titles, a lot of the films are actually top notch kungfu fare. Unfortunately, as I mentioned before, most of the releases are nothing more than cheap-ass bootlegs. In fact, calling them bootlegs is an insult to bootleggers. A couple tapes are nice quality, but the fast majority of them are third generation dupes, often with chewed up pictures, constant tracking problems, EP speed, and other signs of quality and care. Just more evidence of how much Xenon hates you. I even got one where they neglected to even edit out the blue screen and "play" display when they started recording the tape. The artwork on the covers is often from entirely different movies as well. The only saving grace of these pieces of garbage is that the films are generally good even if the tape isn't, and you can pick them up for ultra cheap. It's worth the gamble in hopes that you score one of the rare decent prints or at least a movie that is so good you can live with the myriad technical glitches of the cassette.

Bandits, Prostitutes, and Silver has always been one of my favorite kungfu films, if for no other reason than because it's so relentlessly depressing. Xenon has decided to retitle it Wutang Thugs, Hos, and Scrillah, which I guess is at least an accurate translation into "insulting street lingo," though I won't pretend to know what the hell "scrillah" is. I guess it's silver, but I've never heard anyone use the term. I may a dumb scrawny cracker, but I still live in New York. I can't even think of a situation in which some street thug would be talking about scrillah. Money, sure. Gold? You bet. But silver doesn't seem to be a high priority with today's up and coming street kids. Oh well, if there is ever an urban rush on the silver market, at least Xenon has the word ready for us. Scrillah aside, this movie has absolutely nothing to do with Wutang, which is par for the course in 99% of the Xenon tapes with "Wutang" in the title. I'm waiting for them to release Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon as Wutang Matrix Killah and The Hardboiled Wutang Bitch.

One thing I can definitely say about this film is that it's aptly named. The movie is primarily about bandits, prostitutes, and silver. So right away you know what you are getting into. Fabulous fighter Don Wong Dao stars as a down on his luck cart driver whose one true love has been sold into prostitution to pay off her parents' debts. Wong dreams of the day he has enough money to buy her freedom, and they can forget all the nastiness in the world. Unfortunately, he seems to earn about ten silver pieces a year. With the going price for his lover's freedom being 180 silver pieces, he's not exactly making a lot of headway. Part of the problem could be his chosen profession. Cart driver? He proves early on he's a master of kungfu, so why not get a job as a bodyguard or an escort? Why not open a kungfu school? Geez, why not stand on the street and beg? You'd probably be doing better than what this chump is making.

He might also be doing better if he would quit paying to spend the night with his girl. I know he loves her and all, but shelling out your hard earned cash you're supposed to be saving to free her just seems counter-productive, especially when all they do is stand around and say, "I'm saving money to set you free." She knows that, asshole, and you just spent half of it to tell her.

As is required for a kungfu film, Wong crosses the local rich bastard, who then makes it his personal quest to humiliate Wong by sleeping with Wong's gal every chance he gets. He even goes so far as to threaten to buy her before Wong is able to do so, which at the rate Wong was going, would leave a cushy ten thousand year window of opportunity. Frustrated by his lack of progress, heart broken as he watches his girl service his arch-nemesis, and just generally pissed off at how the world seems constructed to keep the little guy down, Wong befriends a famous bandit named Sparrow. You may laugh at a guy named Sparrow, but then you'll have to explain to your friends how a guy named Sparrow kicked your ass and stole all your scrillah.

Sparrow offers Wong a chance to make more money in one afternoon than he would make in a lifetime, or once again, at the rate Wong was saving money, in ten million lifetimes. All Wong has to do is drive the cart in one of Sparrow's heists. Ahh yes, the getaway car driver. Is there any less fortunate character in all of action cinema? Set it in modern day American cities or ancient China, and the result is always the same. Getaway drivers have nothing but bad luck. Wong is hesitant. He's always been a straight arrow. But a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, and the kungfu film thrives on the character of a good man gone bad or a peaceful man pushed to the brink of violence. Personally, I make it a rule in my life to never ever piss off a guy who struggles to maintain a peaceful nonviolent lifestyle despite being a whirlwind of kungfu power. It's just one of those things I figure I'm better off not doing, like heroin or robbing the Mafia.

Nothing is ever as simple as just stealing a huge shipment of scrillah, though. Lo Lieh runs an escort service hired to protect the silver. Unfortunately for the guy who hired him, Lo's true agenda is to work with the famed Three Scars Gang to steal the silver for himself. He'll dole out some to the gang, some for himself, and then triumphantly return the rest to its rightful owner, who will be thankful and give him a big reward. Personally, I'd kick the guy in the shins for letting my silver... err, scrillah... get stolen. Actually, no. Add to my list of things not to do "kick Lo Lieh in the shins."

Lo Lieh, of course, is a kungfu film institution. He was a staple of the wonderful 1960s Shaw Brothers swordsman films alongside Jimmy Wang Yu and Cheng Pei-pei. He usually played a good-hearted but somewhat dim-witted guy, and there was always a good chance for a romantic triangle involving he, Jimmy, and Pei-pei. If you only know Cheng Pei-pei as the leathery, truly frightening Jade Fox in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, then man alive are you in for a shock when you see how astoundingly beautiful she was in the 1960s. Lo Lieh's transition to kungfu films went much better than Jimmy's. While Jimmy faltered and never really hit a stride in kungfu films, Lo Lieh flourished, though not in the role we knew him for. After starring as a hero in the amazingly brutal kungfu classic Five Fingers of Death, Lo caught a bad case of the uglies. His mustache went from debonair to mangy, and he always seemed to be sweating a lot. It was only natural, then, to cast him as a bad guy, a role he played in scores of films. Whether or not he was evil more times than Wang Lung-wei is a counting job best left to today's fastest super-computers.

The Three Scars gang is lead by the delightful Angela Mao Ying, one of the true greats of kungfu films. I'm at a bit of a loss as to why you would cast Angela Mao in your film and then proceed to not have her fight, but whatever. She's cute, but cute is for wimpy girls who aren't powered by the fury of kungfu. Angela Mao should be cute and kick some serious ass. Anything else is just a waste of her talents. The Scars aren't all that happy with the deal, but like everyone else they have to make a living. They think it's unfair that they do all the work but Lo takes the lion share of the loot. When they find out Sparrow is also after the silver, they're even less enthused, because he's damn good.

Wong agrees to drive the cart, and he and Sparrow are the first to get to the shipment of silver. When Sparrow demands that Wong kill the driver of the other cart, Wong refuses. He won't commit murder, and besides, that's a fellow cart driver there just trying to earn a living. Sparrow gets right pissed and attacks Wong, but after a rather great fight and a rather goofy "rolling shenanigans," Wong proves the better fighter. Sparrow is accidentally stabbed by his own knives and has to give the dying, "I knew I would die one day, but I never thought... it would be... like this!" after which one must spit up a lot of blood then fall over. The spitting up of blood is crucial. Any seasoned kungfu film fan will tell you that if you're gonna die, you have to spit up blood, preferably while making the "sour" face and reaching out with one arm while the other holds the knife in your belly.

Wong is terrified and takes off in the getaway cart, forgetting that the chests of silver are in the back. Meanwhile, the Three Scars gang is looking like a bunch of chumps hiding behind a tree a little ways up the road, wondering what the hell is taking so long. Wong stops to collect himself in the woods and realizes then that he has a shitload of scrillah with him. He does the "laugh and let the money fall through your fingertips into a big pile" thing, which I usually do, only with pennies. I don't know if there is a slang word for pennies that is comparable to scrillah. Let's call them nuchwaezchers. He starts daydreaming of proudly walking up to the whorehouse and demanding the release of his love. Then he falls asleep, which is generally a bad thing to do just a few minutes after killing a famous bandit and hightailing through the woods with a fortune in stolen silver.

When he wakes up, he's staring at the feet of a very annoyed Three Scars gang. There's a tussle in which Wong once again emerges victorious until Angela Mao steps up and shows us her secret weapon -- spinning razor blades hidden in her shoes! That can't be comfortable to walk on. She reveals that while she is indeed the leader of a ruthless gang of bandits, she's not totally devoid of compassion. She offers Wong a cut of the silver and a position in the gang, recounting to him how he reminds her of her husband when he was young and driven instead of laying on the ground after just getting his ass kicked by Don Wong Dao. Wong however maintains that despite the day's tragic turn of events, he'll only take enough money to free his girlfriend. He has no desire to enter a life of crime. Angela sighs and tells him it's too late; a life of crime has already entered him.

Back in town, word of Wong's sudden skill in the art of committing crimes spreads quickly. His girl can hardly believe that he'd do such a thing, while Lo Lieh is convinced that Wong's in cahoots with the Three Scars Gang to rip him off. When he confronts them using kungfu and a head-slicing steel whip, we finally get to see some ass-kicking action courtesy of Angela Mao. It's a great fight, like just about all the fights in this film. I only wish they'd done more with someone as capable as Angela in the film. Despite her secret weapon, neither she nor her husband are good enough to beat Lo. That task can only be completed by one man, and he's heading right into a trap at the brothel.

Wong knows they'll set a trap for him there, but he has no choice. What he doesn't expect, and frankly I don't know why he didn't, was that they'd have his girl tied up in the head slicing thing as a hostage. The good thing about a kungfu movie is that even with a predictable, run of the mill plot there is still a lot of tension generated because anyone could die at any moment. It doesn't matter who they are, how heroic or innocent they've been, or how important they've been to the story up until that point. Everyone is fair game. In an American film, there'd be no tension because you'd know the girl was not going to get decapitated. In an old school Hong Kong kungfu film, you don't have that promise. It's just as likely, perhaps even more likely, that heads will roll.

The final fight is fierce and suitably tragic. The hero doesn't get the girl, but he does get a noose around the neck. In one of the most powerful finales to a kungfu fight, Wong is tied to one end of a rope while Lo is on the other. Using an archway, he hangs himself in order to hang Lo. The final shot of Wong's limp feet hanging a foot above the ground while the stolen silver pours out of his torn pocket is a heavy-handed but effective visual, and it puts the entire moral point of the movie right there in front of you. It's that moral that lifts this movie above the usual "guy out for revenge" film.

Bandits, Prostitutes, and Silver is simply a fabulous film. The acting is great, and the characters manage to avoid most of the cliches. Well, except for the villains. They laugh and stroke their beards and kill everyone they can. But the good guys are an interesting lot. Wong's character is great, noble without being overbearing. He's flawed. When he's faced with a chest full of silver, he becomes greedy. He gets confused. Frustrated. He struggles to be good, but he's also corruptible. In short, he's a fairly believable human character. Likewise, Angela Mao and her husband are interesting. They're not good guys. They're not even bad guys with hearts of gold. For the most part, they are pretty ruthless, but the back story of how they became bandits and why they show compassion for Wong makes them interesting.

Since this is a kungfu film, let's talk about the fights. Don Wong Dao is spectacular. His name may not be as familiar to people as Jackie Chan or any of the Shaw Brothers stars, but he's a tremendous fighter. Fast, powerful, and graceful. He carries the action scenes remarkably, and he's helped by a stellar supporting cast. Angela Mao and Lo Lieh are, of course, acclaimed veterans, but even the extras put up great fights. Quantity is one thing, quality another. Luckily, this movie features both, and that makes it one hell of a ride toward a thoroughly depressing ending. It's the sort of thing only a kungfu film, or possibly a spaghetti western, would ever dare to try.

Everyone is doomed and depressed. Mao and her husband miss their simple life. Wong has the whole girlfriend forced into prostitution thing as well as having to deal with the fact that once you take a step down the path of violence, it's very difficult to turn back. Greed and anger spawned from his frustration with seeing how goodness doesn't seem to accomplish anything in a world this evil eventually ruin his life despite how valiantly he struggles to avoid them. The depression adds an added degree of ferocity to the kungfu, which was already pretty fast-paced and impressive to begin with. Kungfu films are always great for morality plays because, and you'll have to excuse the pun, they pull no punches. The tragedy playing itself out in Bandits, Prostitutes, and Silver is every bit as poignant -- and violent -- as a Shakespearean drama. I know ol' William's melodramatic works are on a pedestal these days, looked at as high art. But in their own day, they were seen as worthless, violent crap. Lowest common denominator trash full of greed, lust, and perversion. Maybe someday hundreds of years from now, people will regard kungfu films with the same degree of reverence. Ha, yeah sure. Pro wrestling, too.

The Xenon tape of this movie is awful, and not just because of the stupid new title they slapped on it. The tracking is off through the whole thing, so the picture is jittery. It's fuzzed out from being several generations down, and as if to cement it's place in the world of crappy bootlegs, they don't even bother to edit out the Ocean Shores copyright message at the end of the film. With that said, if you can't find the film anywhere else, you might as well fork over your eight bucks and deal with the shitty quality because the high quality of the film far outweighs the low quality of the transfer. I wish someone out there would spend a little more scrillah on these films and give fans a product worth buying. Movies as phenomenal as Bandits, Prostitutes, and Silver deserve better treatment than this.

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Monday, June 04, 2001

The Stranger and the Gunfighter

1974, Italy/Hong Kong. Starring Lo Lieh, Lee Van Cleef, Femi Benussi, Erika Blanc, Ricardo Palacios, Goyo Peralta, Georges Rigaud, Patty Shepard, Al Tung, Julian Ugarte, Karen Yeh. Directed by Antonio Margheriti

Now how do you come up with this one? I really don't know, though I'm glad they did. The plot to this East Meets Wild West kungfu spaghetti Western is only the beginning of the delirium that it assaults us with. Things just keep getting stranger and more over-the-top, and I have a feeling a goodly amount of hashish was available to those dreaming up this absolutely ludicrous and thoroughly enjoyable romp.

For about one week, Lo Lieh was the biggest thing in martial arts films. When Five Fingers of Death opened in America, it was a smash hit, and the sour-looking hero was an overnight sensation. Then Bruce Lee came along, and Americans realized you could have a kungfu hero who was bad-ass and beautiful, so Lo Lieh's five seconds in the limelight were over.

Luckily, the Italians didn't forget about the Shaw Brothers martial arts superstar. They called upon his skill as an actor and all-around bad-ass for this film, co-starring alongside the baddest man to ever stroll through the Western genre, Lee Van Cleef. This website digs Lee Van Cleef. Even though he made that Master Ninja crap alongside such big-time martial artists as Timothy Van Patton, Demi Moore, and Crystal Bernard, no one here holds that against him because he is just so god-damned cool.

When I first saw The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly it was Van Cleef's sadistic character, Angel Eyes, that was my favorite. He was so subtle and so evil without even seeming like it. Westerns starring Lee are always my favorites, and I regularly devour such gems as Sabata, For a Few Dollars More, and Death Rides a Horse.

Here, he plays his usually character, which is a sly and charismatic gambler/gunslinger. His first moment in this film is utterly priceless, as he does the classic "disappearing in the steam" exit to befuddle some railroad lackey. From there, he promptly sets out to rob the bank.

Also in town is a diminutive Chinese man who seems to have sexy mistresses scattered all over America. Each woman gets to show off her healthy, 1970s unscrawny booty during this whole opening montage. Ahhh, those were the days. Back when a woman had a little meat on her and no one was all upset about it. This age of heroin-overdose looking supermodels must end. Give me some back any day over those flat non-rumps people seem to dig.

Anyway, the Chinese guy catches on that Van Cleef is about to rob the bank, and runs over there to keep him away from some valuable stuff. Unfortunately, he runs in right when Lee's dynamite goes off. Then, The Law shows up, and Van Cleef is charged with murder when all he really wanted to do was rob the bank. And the kicker -- all that was in the vault was a fortune cookie and pictures of the guy's naked mistresses.

Meanwhile, over in China, we find out that this old Chinese guy was a relative of Lo Lieh's. The Chinese government (which was actually Manchurian at the time) is pissed that old Wang died without telling them what he did with all the money he took with him to America. The send Lo Lieh to find it so he can repay the government. If within one year, he isn't back with the loot, his family will be killed.

Back to America we go, where Lee Van Cleef is about to be hanged for murder. Lo Lieh shows up, finds out he was the last one to see his uncle alive, and saves him. Together they ride off to solve the mystery of the missing treasure.

And here's where the plot really kicks in. Old Wang tattooed clues to finding the treasure on the butts of each of his mistresses. Yes, to find the booty, you must find the booty. And that, my friends, is the plot of this film. Lo Lieh and Lee Van Cleef ride around looking at women's asses. Nice work if you can get it.

Of course, it's not all fun and games. They are pursued by a crazy religious fanatic who has a mobile church tied to a team of horses! And he has one of those standard issue sidekicks: the giant super-strong native American dude. The black-clad Deacon wants the treasure so he can build a real church and expand his heretic-murdering business.

All sorts of wild stuff ensues, peppered by healthy doses of comedy. The soundtrack is lame, and every time Lo Lieh jumps, he makes a sound exactly someone messing around on a slide whistle. I guess that's one of them Shaolin powers we hear so much about, the ability to go, "Whooolooloolooloo!" when you jump. He should team up with David Chiang and his "Chooka chooka choo!" sound effect from Seven Blows of the Dragon. That would sound nice.

The dippy soundtrack is my only complaint about this film. Everything else rocks me like a hurricane. Most of the action consists of Lo Lieh beating up unsuspecting whities. He espouses a little Confucian wisdom and knows acupuncture, which is more or less par for the course. Lee Van Cleef mostly sits back and enjoys the show, occasionally shooting someone. I guess he has this job where he gets to ride around with a seemingly indestructible kungfu dynamo, looking at women's asses, and collecting treasure at the end. What's not to enjoy? I wish I was Lee Van Cleef, only still alive.

There are no great kungfu battles, since no one else Lo Lieh beats up knows kungfu, but there is plenty of action culminating in a totally wild finale in which Lo Lieh's new love (a Chinese woman, formerly one of the ass women) is suspended above a raging fire while Lo Lieh fights the big native American guy and Lee Van Cleef rides around with a Gatling gun shooting up everything in sight!

A lot less grim than the violent Fighting Fists of Shanghai Joe, and more along the lines of the wacky Joe sequel, Return of Shanghai Joe, this is one hell of a film. Plenty of kungfu action, bad funk music, naked asses galore (yay!), shootin', punchin', kickin', drinkin', gamblin', and everything else that makes life -- and this film -- great!

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