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Saturday, August 23, 2008Hot Enough For June
Release Year: 1964
Country: England Starring: Dirk Bogarde, Sylva Koscina, Robert Morley, Leo McKern, Roger Delgado, John LeMesurier, Richard Pasco, Eric Pohlmann, Richard Vernon, Amanda Grinling, Noel Harrison, Derek Nimmo Director: Ralph Thomas Screenplay: Lukas Heller; Based on the novel Night of Wenceslas by Lionel Davidson Art Director: Syd Cain Music: Angelo Lavagnino Producer: Betty E. Box Alternative Title: Agent 8 3/4 Today I am going to break one of the cardinal rules of Teleport City – I am going to review a romantic comedy. But it also happens to be a spy film, so if we all keep very quiet and don't tell Keith, I think we can get away with it. The film in question is Hot Enough For June and it stars Dirk Bogarde and Sylva Koscina, and it was made by Betty E. Box and Ralph Thomas. Some people do not like the films of producer Betty E. Box, and director Ralph Thomas. I am not one of them. I think they are some of the more enjoyable examples of sixties British cinema. Amongst their output are films like The Thirty Nine Steps (the Kenneth More version), The High Commissioner, Deadlier Than The Male and Some Girls Do. Okay, they are all spy films and I have a penchant for spy films, so that makes me a tad biased, but who would you rather trust for your movie reviews and opinions – Teleport City or a throwaway blurb in a beaten up copy of a Leonard Maltin Movie Guide? The film opens with Roger Allsop (John Le Mesurier) turning up at MI6 headquarters. He walks down a long corridor to a large counter. Onto the counter he places a large black leather bag and starts to retrieve items from it. First there are several passports, then a shoe with a hollowed out heel, a revolver, and lastly a lucky rabbit's foot. Although this foot didn't bring too much luck to it's owner. You see these are the personal effects of a secret agent who has just been killed. The attendant behind the counter picks up the items and places them in a cubby hole which has the number 007 allocated to it. Now MI6 need a replacement. Enter Nicholas Whistler (Dirk Bogarde). Whistler is an unemployed writer who turns up at the Labour Exchange to collect his unemployment benefits. Much to his chagrin, rather than just collecting his money, he is also sent to a job interview at a glass manufacturing company. This glass company is actually a front for MI6, and it is headed by Colonel Cunliffe (Robert Morley). Whistler turns up for his job interview late, hoping that would dissuade them for employing him. But Cunliffe and MI6 need a man who speaks Czech for their next mission to Prague and Whistler, who is bi-lingual seems like the perfect man for the job. Whistler really doesn't want the work, but changes his mind when Cunliffe offers him a particularly obscene amount of money as a salary.
So next Whistler is off to Prague to meet Mr. Galushka (Eric Polmann), the head of the state run Zapopaki Glass Works. Whistler he been told that the instructions for a new glass making technique with be handed to him at the works, but he must identify himself with the phrase, "It's hot enough for June." The contact in Prague will respond with, "Arrr, you should have been here last September." Even with the cloak and dagger code words, Whistler still believes everything is above board and he is simply doing some business with a neighbouring glass factory. Whistler checks into a hotel and waits to be summoned to the Glass Works. When his summons arrives, he finds Vlasta Simoneva (Sylva Koscina) waiting downstairs as his liaison and driver. Up until this point the film has been a gentle paced comedy. The humour has been smile producing rather than inducing belly laughs and has been carried largely by Robert Morley who appeared to be having a good time hamming it up. But now at the twenty three minute mark, Sylva Koscina has entered the story and the film shifts to a romantic comedy. In most romantic comedies the relationship starts out rocky, and Hot Enough For June is no exception. The trip to the glass works doesn't go well after Whistler makes some heavy handed comments about the Communists shooting each other. Vlasta can barely contain her contempt for this arrogant young Westerner who sees fit to criticise her way of life. Once at the glass works, Whistler is given a grand tour by Mr. Galushka. As Whistler travels through the factory and talks with the staff, he slips the 'hot enough for June' phrase into each conversation, but no-one responds with the counter phrase. As he is about to leave, he stops at the washroom to wash his hands. The washroom attendant starts talking about the weather, giving Whistler the perfect opportunity to drop 'hot enough for June' in the conversation, but before he can, Galushka interrupts and drags Whistler away. Though now, Whistler is convinced that the man in the washroom is his contact and contrives to revisit the glass works again in two days time.
But in the meantime he must wait, and what do you do when you've got two nights and a day to kill in Czechoslovakia? You attempt to seduce Vlasta Simoneva. Whistler starts by asking her out for a drink that evening which leads to dinner later on at a colourful restaurant. But things aren't as they seem. We already know that Whistler is a spy – even if he doesn't realise it himself. But the Czech Secret Police aren't so stupid. They know he's a spy and have assigned an agent to find out what he is up to. That agent, as you may have guessed is Vlasta Simoneva. Complicating things even further is that the head of the Secret Police (Leo McKern) in this part of the world happens to be Vlasta's father. The next day Whistler and Vlasta spend the day jaunting around Prague doing the type of things that young couples do. There's a spot of swimming at the local pool, which gives Koscina an opportunity to parade around in a bikini. I believe that parading around in a bikini was almost a trademark for Miss Koscina. In Deadlier Than The Male, when we are first introduced to her character, she is in a bikini – albeit carrying a speargun. In A Lovely Way To Die, once Kirk Douglas is in the picture it doesn't take her long to strip down pool side either. As the day wears on, the jaunting around turns into flirting and finally our young couple, after a rain storm end up at her home in soggy clothes. Naturally they take them off and, well you know.... The next day Vlasta is relieved of her escort and intelligence gathering duties. It is deemed that she has gotten too close to her subject. Another driver takes Whistler back to the glass factory, and this time he successfully makes contact with the agent in the washroom. As the contact hands over the top secret information, it finally dawns on Whistler that he is a spy. Up until this point, it has all bee a lark, but now the game is serious. Once Whistler returns to his hotel, he finds out how serious. The Secret Police, including Vlasta's father, turn up to arrest him. Whistler escapes by hiding in a cupboard, and then makes his way out into the unfamiliar streets of Prague. An extensive manhunt is launched to track Whistler down, but somehow he manages to stay just one step ahead of the police. His objective though, is to make it to the British Embassy. Unfortunately the Secret Police are counting on that too, and have stationed a barricade of men at the gates, so Whistler cannot get past. Instead he returns to Vlasta's home. At first she is skeptical about his intentions. She believes he is using her to smuggle out State secrets. Whistler dispels that notion when he throws the information that he received into the burning fireplace. Vlasta, once again in love, agrees to help him escape to freedom.
Hot Enough For June is a pleasant film, but as a romantic comedy, it doesn't really work. As a romance the story is a bit forced and contrived, after all Vlasta is an intelligence officer who chooses to use 'romance' and 'sex' as a tool to get close to her target. She isn't forced to use this technique; it her option. With that as a starting point, it's hard to believe that over a day, that she'd do a complete backflip over a man that she despises on first meeting. And furthermore, betray her country and father for this same man. But I guess Bogarde and Koscina display a certain amount of on-screen chemistry that almost makes you believe this could happen. As a comedy, the film is very light. There aren't any laugh out loud moments, but here are quite a few scenes that produce broad grins. Robert Morley makes the best out of the comedic moments in the script. All-in-all Hot Enough For June isn't ground breaking or life changing cinema. It's the type of film that you watch and enjoy, but really don't know why. Well, ...actually I know why! It has Sylva Koscina in it. For me that's enough of a drawcard. As always she lights up the screen in every scene she is in. Digressing for a second, some people are perplexed at the success of Peplum films. 'Why would you want to see a steroid bloated man with no neck toss around paper mache rocks?' The truth is you don't (well not much, anyway. Maybe a little bit). You watch Peplum films for the girls dressed in candy coloured, flimsy negligees. And Sylva Koscina was a ground breaker in that area, when she starred opposite Steve Reeves in Hercules, and Hercules Unchained. No-one could wear a negligee quite like her. When Eurospy films came along, she was quick to slip out of her negligee and squeeze into a bikini, with equal success. The sixties had a great many sex sirens. Some of them are still household names, and some are now relegated to cinema history. Sylva Koscina appears to fall into the later category, and is one of the most neglected and under-rated actresses ever. But hopefully these reviews will change all that. Labels: Stars: Sylva Koscina posted by David at 9:18 AM | 0 Comments | Links to this post The Black Falcon (Hong Kong, 1967) I hadn't heard much that was good about The Black Falcon, the general consensus seeming to be that it paled in comparison to most of the other 1960s spy efforts turned out by Hong Kong's Shaw Brothers studio. Given that, I was surprised to find that it was actually one of the most solidly plotted and engaging of the lot. I was even more surprised to discover that it was a close remake of Sergio Sollima's Eurospy film Passport to Hell, which was made just two years earlier.Passport to Hell was obviously quite popular in Hong Kong during its day--or at least popular with the creatives at Shaw Brothers. The distinctive, projectile-firing compact used by Seyna Seyn in the film would show up in carbon copy as Lily Ho's signature weapon in the 1971 Shaw production The Lady Professional, and The Black Falcon, while omitting that particular gadget (perhaps they were saving it for later) plays Passport almost scene-for-scene. The original starred George Ardisson as a secret agent given the task of insinuating himself into the affections of an attractive young woman whose father is believed to be the head of a freelance spy organization known as "The Organization". Things ultimately turn out to be not quite as they seem, however, thanks to some internecine power struggles within The Organization staged in part by Seyn's character, the vicious and cunning Jackie Yen. In The Black Falcon, Ardisson's character is portrayed by Paul Chang Chung, fresh from his lead role in the Shaw's wan Bond imitation The Golden Buddha, while Jenny Hu Yan-Ni plays the daughter of the supposed leader of The Organization--here called The Black Falcons--and Margaret Tu Chuan plays the femme fatale role originally essayed by Seyna Seyn. Passport to Hell is a standout in the Eurospy genre, in great part due to star Ardisson's commitment to some pretty intense and gritty physical action. Chang Chung steps up considerably in that regard, showing a vast improvement in his fighting skills in contrast to the lackluster display he put on in The Golden Buddha. Falcon even mirrors Passport's fight between Ardisson and the over-sized Dakar by pitting Chang Chung against the giant actor--and Shaw regular--Siu Gam in a brutal match-up. Beyond that, most of Passport's major set pieces are represented here, from the bar scene featuring a weird arm wrestling match involving the contestants gripping a beer mug between them (though without Passport's groovy addition of having Kinks songs playing on the jukebox) to the scene in which two flatbed trucks attempt to sandwich Chang Chung's car between them. Of course, this being a Shaw spy film, director/screenwriter Daai Go-Mei also has to work in a space age secret lair for The Black Falcons and a silly, comic book-style supervillain outfit for Margaret Tu Chuan, even though those things are pretty much at odds with the otherwise relatively down-to-earth espionage plot laid out by the film's model. Still, the director, wisely hewing closely to the example set by the tightly-structured Passport, does a much better job at maintaining a persistent pace and coherent narrative thread than his colleague Lo Wei did in his own numerous contributions to Shaw's spy movie catalog. So I'm going to style myself as a lone voice in the wilderness here and say that, despite what you may have heard about The Black Falcon, it really is worth checking out. And if you're a fan of Passport to Hell--or, for that matter, the Eurospy genre as a whole--I think you'll find a lot that's of interest in this Hong Kong take on the form. Labels: Studio: Shaw Brothers posted by Todd at 7:04 AM | 0 Comments | Links to this post Monday, August 4, 2008That Man In Istanbul
Release Year: 1965
Country: Italy/France/Spain Starring: Horst Buchholz, Sylva Koscina, Klaus Kinski, Gustavo Re, Alvaro De Luna, Perrette Pradier, Mario Adorf, Barta Barri, Jorge Rigaud Director: Antonio Isasi-Isasmendi Screenplay: Luis Jose Comeron, Antonio Isasi-Isasmendi, Jorge Illa, Music: Georges Garvarentz Original Title: Estanbul 65 That Man From Istanbul is one of the most accessible and entertaining of the Eurospy films made in the mid sixties. It features Sylva Koscina in a major role. She may barely raise a footnote these days in lists of 'most popular actresses of all time' (particularly in Western countries), but in the mid sixties she was on a bit of a roll, starring in Hot Enough For June with Dirk Bogarde, Deadlier Than The Male with Richard Johnson, and A Lovely Way To Diewith Kirk Douglas. Unfortunately her career started to nosedive in the 1970's. In an ineffectual attempt to resuscitate her career, Koscina posed nude for Italian Playboy in 1975 at the age of 42. In Robert Sellers recent book 'The Battle For Bond' (2007, Tomahawk Press) it says that when Kevin McClory was originally casting Thunderball he wanted Richard Burton as Bond and Koscina as Domino. From the book – page 123:
McClory was now in Rome choosing a suitable starlet to co-star with his new Bond. Just days after Honor Blackman had been chosen to play Pussy Galore in Goldfinger, McClory named Sylva Koscina, a 29 year old Yugoslav-born, Italian-bred actress, to star in Thunderball as Domino. He approached her on the set of her latest film saying, “You're the perfect Bond type, tough, as though you can carry a machine gun with ease, yet lusciously attractive.” Sylva was understandably interested. Realising that the public were not going to buy Bond without Sean Connery, McClory chose to join forces with Albert R. Broccoli and Harry Saltzman, and in turn gain Connery's services. With the new deal, Koscina's part evaporated and the role of Domino went to French actress Claudine Auger. I wonder what would have happened to Koscina's career had she been a Bond girl? Would it have opened new doors, or would it mean that her career trajectory would have remained the same, but she would be more fondly remembered? Anyway Bond never happened for Koscina, though she ended up appearing in quite a few Eurospy features. One of them was That Man From Istanbul.
The film opens with a nifty little pre-title sequence where a light aircraft, with two secret agents in it, lands in a paddock in Turkey somewhere. Five cars packed with hoods with stockings over their heads meet the plane. One of the agents from the plane hands over a suitcase with one million dollars in it. The other agent secretly takes photos of the hoods with a camera hidden in his tie-pin. Once the hoods are satisfied that the money is all there, they signal another car. This car contains atomic scientist Professor Pendergast, who has been kidnapped. An exchange is made, and the plane takes off with its new passenger. Pendergast looks like he has been drugged or brainwashed. In the backseat of the plane he is sweating and fidgeting. Then he detonates a bomb inside his coat. The plane explodes and crashes. We skip to Washington D.C. and into a C.I.A. briefing room. A team of agents are watching a report on the crash. X-rays from the bodies at the crash site reveal that the man they believed to be Pendergast was an impostor. The ransom the U.S. had paid was for nothing. As the briefing continues, the President of the U.S.A. phones in and cancels the mission. It seems he wants the affair to be handled through diplomatic channels. This doesn't please Special Agent Kenny (Sylva Koscina). She sees something in the slides of the crash site, that everyone else has missed. In the background there is car, and in the car is Tony Mescenas (Horst Buchholz). Mescenas is an American who was deported for running a string of gambling houses and extortion rackets. He also ran a kidnapping scam in the past, where he exchanged fake people for his kidnap victims. Kenny doesn't believe this is a coincidence, but as the President has cancelled the mission, she is forbidden to go to Istanbul. For our viewing pleasure we are then treated to a colourful animated title sequence with a swinging sixties instrumental over the top. When we return from this interlude we are in Istanbul, introduced via some travelogue shots that look like stock footage. Then we move into Istanbul's nightlife. Neon lights flicker. Cool jazz plays in the background. And Mescenas is cruising through the streets in his red E-type Jaguar, being discretely followed by the police. Mescenas stops outside a club which he runs with two colleagues. The first is 'Brain' (Gustavo Re), who has a photographic memory for facts, and the second is Bogo (Alvaro De Luna), who is more of your garden variety minion. He does all the dirty jobs. Mescenas enters the club, which on the surface appears to be an average Turkish nightclub with belly dancers writhing on stage. But underneath this club is another club. An illegal casino in fact. Mescenas takes a secret elevator down to the casino and alerts the patrons that they are about to be raided be the police. It seems the tail on Mescenas wasn't that discrete after all. But don't panic, Mescenas has the place wired up electronically, and all the gaming tables disappear into the floor and the walls. The police raid the club, but instead of finding an illegal casino, they find Bogo treating the guests to a magic show. It seems like Mescenas ruse has worked. Well almost! A drunk starts demanding for his chips to be cashed. Mescenas can't pay him without giving the game away. So what does he do? He starts a fight. Within seconds a bar room brawl erupts, the type usually found in western movies. But hey, after all this is a Horst Buchholz movie. Horst who, I hear you ask? Horst Buchholz is one of the two actors from The Magnificent Seven that nobody remembers. He played Chico, the Mexican peasant who wanted to be a gunfighter...but back to the story.
Of course, Agent Kenny has defied orders and is in Istanbul, and in Mescenas' club. As Mescenas, Brain and Bogo are regrouping after the police raid, Kenny approaches them and asks for a job. Mescenas' interview technique is not politically correct by today's standards. He asks Kenny to strip. She disrobes down to her underwear. Mescenas pretends not to be interested, but when the subject is as attractive as Ms Koscina a side glance is forgivable. Kenny gets the job, but doing what? As a side note, due to Generalísimo Franco's censorship laws, this scene is edited very heavily in the Spanish version (which is a real shame because 'Vella Vision' has released a pristine looking DVD). The next day Kenny is snooping around some of the locations from the photos in the C.I.A. briefing. One of these locations is a cemetery and mausoleum where the plane crash victims were interred. It is the last place where the missing tie-clip camera was seen. As she searches, she is accosted by the Chinese grounds keeper, but proves herself adept at judo, and acquits herself quite nicely, thank you. As she leaves the cemetery Mescenas picks her up for work. It's obvious he has been following her. Her job? I'm not really sure what it is. It appears to be travelling around the sites of Istanbul and looking glamorous. She does it well. As they look over the city from the spire of a mosque, Mescenas tells her that he knows she is a spy. Why is she interested in him? Kenny is a fairly trusting agent, and tells Mescenas the whole story about Pendergast kidnapping. Mescenas pleads his innocence and Kenny believes him. Then Kenny tries to convince him to help her track down the true perpetrators. But after being deported from the U.S., Mescenas isn't too keen on helping Uncle Sam. Mescenas may not be patriotic but he is greedy, and when Kenny tells him of the million dollars ransom that was paid to free Pendergast, his eyes light up. Welcome on board. Their first lead is to track down the Chinese grounds keeper who attacked Kenny at the cemetery. His information leads Mescenas to the Chinese Embassy. It appears that though the Chinese did not kidnap Pendergast, they are interested in tracking him down for themselves. After all an Atomic Scientist is a valuable commodity. But the Chinese do have the tie-clip camera hidden in a safe at the Embassy. With stealth and the odd bit of brutality Mescenas breaks into the safe and retrieves the camera. His escape, however is not so easy. First he leaps through one window, crashes through another into a bedroom. Then somehow ends up in the sewer system. So it doesn't make sense, but that is part of it's charm. From the photos in the clip, Brain recognises one of the extortionists, the man with the steel hand, Hansie (Gerard Tichy). Well it's not really a steel hand, it's more of a steel stump or dome. He lives in a boarding house down by the waterfront, where all riff-raff in this type of film live. Mescenas follows Hansie as he leaves the house, but Hansie realises he is being followed and sets out to trap Mescenas. Hansie starts to ascend a tall mosque spire with a spiral staircase. Mescenas follows. At the top on the balcony, Hansie gets the drop on his pursuer. A fight breaks out but Hansie has a slight advantage. From his steel hand a knife juts out. Mescenas is thrown over the side surely to his death. But no, he catches a rope and slides down to the next level. Mescenas rushes back up the stairs and gives Hansie a beating. Hansie is about to talk when he is shot from below, by one of his accomplices. From Hansie's dead body, Mescenas picks up the small hearing aid from the ear. It is not a hearing aid at all but a communication device. Mescenas hears the plans for the extortionists to meet at the coast road. In his red Jag, he makes his way there. It's another trap. The extortionists knew he'd be listening and try to run him off the cliff top road. He gets past one vehicle but is not prepared for being rammed by an army truck. Mescenas' sports car flies through the protective barriers by the side of the road and down the cliff. In what really is a 'cliff-hanger', Mescenas leaps onto the back of the army truck as it collides with the Jag and hitches a ride. Meanwhile down the road, armed with high powered binoculars, the Chinese are watching. They have been following Mescenas, hoping he will lead them to Pendergast. They follow the army truck. The truck stops in an underground carpark, and Mescenas starts snooping about. Inadvertently he sets off a silent alarm and the extortionists are alerted to his presence. Luckily for Mescenas, at this time the Chinese arrive and enter into a shootout with the extortionists. While all the shooting is going on the leaders of the extortion group sneak Pendergast out in an ambulance. Mescenas waits behind some crates till the shootout is over and then snoops around a bit more. In a back room he finds Elizabeth Furst (Perrette Pradier) tied up. She was kidnapped off a yacht. Naturally he frees her and sends her to a luxury hotel to recuperate.
Meanwhile the extortionists are not happy with one of their own. Gunther (Agustín González), who was driving the army truck, which Mescenas so cavalierly jumped on, is too be terminated for his incompetence. Evil organisations like this don't tolerate failure. As the assassin draws his gun, Gunther shoots and flees. He's on the run now and needs help. He phones Mescenas and offers information about the whereabouts of Pendergast in exchange for safe passage out of the country. A meeting is arranged. As Agent Kenny is the only licensed operative on the scene she wants to go to the meeting, but Mescenas does what any sixties, chauvinist, man about town would do. He locks her in a cupboard. At the meeting Gunther is shot before Mescenas can get to him. Then he finds himself on foot, in the centre of a demolition derby. Some nimble footwork and some accurate pistol shots to car headlights save Mescenas' skin. Well barely. After the car pile-up, a hail of gunfire starts. He borrows a front-end loader and ploughs a path to freedom. After the nights fireworks, Mescenas pays a visit to Elizabeth Furst at her hotel, poolside. As he attempts to gain more information about her kidnapping and the whereabouts of Pendergast, an assassin lurks in the pool (with a water pistol, no doubt!). He fires a shot at Mescenas which misses, but shatters his wine glass. Not taking a backward step, Mescenas dives in to confront his would-be assassin. Underwater, a knife is produced and the two men struggle until the assailant ends up with the knife in his torso. The next lead Mescenas and Kenny follow was found on Gunther's dead personage. It was a season ticket to a Turkish Bath. At the bath, as they search, three goons kidnap Kenny and spirit her away. Out the back Mescenas finds wooden crates full of pieces of an atomic bomb. As he retreats, he is captured at knife-point. Then he is offered one hundred thousand dollars and Kenny alive if he leaves Istanbul. Mescenas refuses and escapes by losing a steam faucet. Clad only in a towel, he then scours the city searching for Kenny, but with no joy. Despondent, he rings Brain. Brain passes on a message that Bogo and Ms Furst have information for him. Mescenas rushes to the hotel, but only to find that Furst's room is empty. Almost. An assassin named Doctor Shrenk (Klaus Kinski) follows Mescenas in. As most evil minions do, Shrenk takes his time in killing Mescenas and talks too much. In doing so he reveals that Pendergast is on a yacht in the harbour. Mescenas ducks under a glass coffee table while Shrenk fires at him with a pistol. And in one of those contrivances that can only happen in the movies, the coffee table turns out to be bullet proof. Mescenas picks up the table and uses it as a shield until Shrenk runs out of bullets. Then it's fisticuffs. During the fight, which rages through all the hotel rooms, Mescenas finds Bogo's dead body in the bathtub. This sends Mescenas over the edge and he drowns Shrenk in a sink. Mescenas' attention is now on the yacht, and he climbs a cargo loading crane and lowers himself onto the boat as it passes underneath. After the death of Bogo, Mescenas sense of humour isn't as prevalent as it was, and as he storms the boat, he kills one sailor in cold blood, and then orders the rest of the crew over the side. On board he finds Pendergast and Kenny and sets them free. Then he set about settling the score with the leaders of this insidious plot. Oh, what is their scheme, I hear you ask? It hasn't really been mentioned yet, but it is something like this: They intend to build an atomic arsenal with Pendergast's help. Then from a remote island, control the world. Excellent; another World Domination scheme. In the stateroom on the yacht, Mescenas find the chiefs. He cleans house with a machine gun. He kills them all, except for one. I wont say who it is, but no prizes for guessing? That Man In Istanbul is one of my favourite Eurospy films. It has a good sense of humour and decent production values, and is fast paced. Maybe it is a little long, and Sylva Koscina isn't used as much as she should be, but small quibbles. Your response to the movie will depend on how you accept Horst Buchholz. I know of a few people who find his performance annoying and as such, don't rate this movie very highly. I disagree, but I think you're going to have to make up your own mind on this one? Labels: Stars: Sylva Koscina posted by David at 12:15 AM | 0 Comments | Links to this post Monday, July 14, 2008The Ambushers Year: 1967Directed by Henry Levin Dean Martin, Senta Berger, Janice Rule, James Gregory, Albert Salmi, Beverly Adams, The Slaygirls Music by Hugo Montenegro Based loosely on the novel by Donald Hamilton Along with James Bond and Derek Flint, Matt Helm is one of the cinematic world’s best known super-spies. As portrayed by Dean Martin, Helm was an inebriated womaniser who consistently saved the world while delivering a string of boozing and bosom jokes. The Ambushers is the third and weakest of the four Matt Helm films, following The Silencers and Murderers’ Row; and preceding The Wrecking Crew. As with all the films in the series, it is easy on the eye. Along with the scantily clad females, there are plenty of lurid fashions, set designs and colourful lighting. It seems like a large portion of the budget went into making these parts of the movie look great. But it appears no money was spent on the special effects which resemble a ‘sparkler’ on a birthday cake. Onto the plot, what little there is. The film starts with I.C.E.’s latest weapon, a Flying Saucer, being stolen during a test flight. The saucer is unique in that it can only be flown by women as the electro magnetic field produced by the craft is deadly to men (makes perfect sense to me!) The pilot of the Flying Saucer is Sheila Sommers (Janice Rule) and she is forced to make a landing in Mexico where she is captured and tortured by the maniacal Caselius. Caselius has a penchant for torture and deviant sexual behaviour. Meanwhile, Matt Helm (Dean Martin) – international superspy and freelance photographer is at the ‘Intelligence Counter Espionage’ (I.C.E.) rehabilitation centre brushing up on the latest espionage techniques. As Helm brushes up against one of the Slaygirls, he discovers the booby-gun. Also at the rehab centre is Sheila Sommers. After he ordeal with Caselius she is traumatised an cannot remember a thing. She is pale white and pasty and refuses to have anything to do with men. That is until some bad guys make an attempt on her life. Matt Helm comes to the rescue at the last minute, and wins Sheila over. But that’s not all he wins. It seems he also wins her hand in marriage. When Sheila comes out of her catatonic state she believes she is married to Matt Helm. It was an old cover that they had previously used on a mission together, and now it seems like that is all she can remember. And as only women can fly the Flying Saucer, she gets to tag along with Helm on his mission to Acapulco. Why are they going to Acapulco? The only clue that they have to go on is that Sheila remembers a jingle for a Mexican beer company called Montezuma. Figuring it must be a lead, Matt is assigned to do a photographic shoot for a magazine, for the Brewery and it’s owner, Jose Ortega (Albert Salmi). And naturally, Mrs. Helm goes along as his assistant. Ortega just so happens to be the number one henchman for Caselius. Caselius isn’t affiliated with any evil organization, like “Big O”. He works for himself and plans to sell the Flying Saucer to the highest bidder. But back to the brewery. Not that this needs to be pointed out, but as you can imagine, placing drunken Dino in a brewery results in our perpetually pissed superspy being, well …more perpetually pissed. The height of boozy excess occurs when Matt Helm falls into a vat of beer. The matt Helm films were never meant to be high-art. In fact they aren’t even low-art. But they do provide a platform for Martin’s humour, and for the girls to show an ample amount of cleavage. What’s wrong with that, I ask? Apart from The Slaygirls who linger in the background of many of the scenes, the film features Janice Rule as Sheila Sommers. Rule, while being a talented actress (maybe too talented for a Matt Helm film), isn’t as strong and charismatic as Stella Stevens from The Silencers or Elke Somer from The Wrecking Crew. But in it’s favour, The Ambushers has the luscious Senta Berger in the all-too-small role of Francesca Madeiros. She too is trying to track down Caselius. After musical scores by Elmer Bernstein and Lalo Schifrin for the first two films, the series turns to Hugo Montenegro for the score to The Ambushers. Montenegro’s swinging tunes are okay on the ear, but don’t really follow the action or the story as it progresses. The music never reflects danger, excitement or romance. It simply bops along happily whatever the scenario may be. It may make for a fine pop album, but doesn’t make for a really good soundtrack to a spy film. At the end of the day, you either love or hate Dean Martin’s drunken antics. If you’re on the negative side, then nothing that I have said here will make you want to sit through this. But for the fans, it’s not the best, but it is harmless fun and provides plenty of opportunities for Martin to trot out a string of familiar one liners. Labels: Character: Matt Helm, Stars: Dean Martin posted by David at 12:55 AM | 2 Comments | Links to this post Saturday, July 5, 2008Fear In Fun Park Year: 1989Directed by Donald Crombie Simon Dutton, Ed Devereaux, Rebecca Gilling, Richard Roxburgh, Nikki Coghill Max Cullen, Anthony Wong, Ernie Dingo Music by Peter Best (Title theme by Serge Franklin) Based on characters created by Leslie Charteris As an Australian, I am particularly parochial about local productions. I like a good story where I recognise the landmarks and the settings in which the story takes place. To find out that there was a Saint tele-movie set in Australia delighted me no end and naturally I had to track it down – and that search has taken me quite a while – but finally I have got my opportunity. Now there’s a reason that it has taken me so long to find this film; namely that it hasn’t been available. Why would a series based on a popular character like The Saint be held back and made unavailable I ask? Watching the first ten minutes of Fear In Fun Park gave me the answer. It’s bloody terrible. In my reviews for The Software Murders and The Blue Dulac, I have been fairly scathing of the acting on display; and let’s be honest, I watch a lot of shit, so I am quite forgiving of shortcomings in low-budget productions. But here the acting reaches the bottom of the barrel. And I am not talking about hack actors – most of the Australian cast have been around the traps for quite a while – and capable of much better than this. Even the accents seemed to be bunged on. Look I grew up in rural Australia, and would suggest I have a very broad ‘Aussie’ accent, but the characters in this film make me seem like an English language professor. I am guessing they are trying to ‘ocker’ up the show to make Simon Templar seem even more like a fish out of water. Maybe there is even a bit of an attempt to latch onto the memory of Crocodile Dundee which was a massive hit in 1985. The show starts off in Sydney airport and a myriad of characters arrive of various flights from around the world. Naturally, one of these characters is Simon Templar; AKA The Saint (Simon Dutton). He has flown in from Hong Kong, on the request of a Chinese Businessman, whose daughter has gone missing in Sydney. Templar believes she has been snatched up by the Chinese underworld and drugged and forced to work in a brothel. Also arriving from France are Harry and Aileen Brampton. Harry is the head of the powerful Brampton business empire, but recently his company has slumped, and it looks like he may have to sell off some of his companies assets. One of these assets is Sydney’s Luna Park - called Fun Park in this show (I am sure for legal reasons). Waiting to greet Harry and Aileen, is Harry’s daughter from a previous marriage, Fiona (Nikki Coghill). Another recent arrival is a young confused Chinese girl who speaks no English. As she waits in the arrivals lounge, Templar offers her assistance. But before she can respond, she is approached by some Chinese business people and shuffled outside the terminal to a waiting car. At this point Simon bumps into Fiona, who used to be a jetsetter and knows Templar from her old days in London. Their reunion is a pleasant one, and Simon is invited back that evening to have dinner with Harry, Aileen and Fiona. Simon accepts but must check into his hotel first. Fiona offers to drive him into town. As they leave the airport, Templar spots the young Chinese girl, looking rather distressed, ensconced in the back of a black Mercedes Benz as it weaves through the traffic. Templar asks Fiona to follow the car, which she does up until a certain point, where the car gets blocked behind a truck in Chinatown. Templar leaps from the car and tries to follow on foot, but loses the car in a maze of side streets. Later that evening, as Templar dines with the Bramptons, he meets Fiona’s new fiancé, Justin (an incredibly youthful Richard Roxburgh). Justin is a real estate agent and has been asked to arrange the sale of Fun Park to get the Brampton company out of trouble. The thing is, secretly, Justin has a gambling problem and owes the Chinese underworld $954,000. The only way he can repay his debt is to arrange that Fun Park is sold to the Chinese. The fly in the ointment, however, is that Fun Park is the legacy of Harry’s first wife, and Fiona would rather take out a loan to keep Fun Park as a family asset that can be handed down from generation to generation, rather than sold off for short term gain. Justin is caught is the middle – if he sells Fun Park, he gets out of trouble with the underworld, but risks losing Fiona. If he doesn’t sell it, then he keeps Fiona, but what good is that, when the Chinese underworld have a mark on your head. As the story progresses, the threads of the Brampton family’s financial problems and Templar’s investigation into the white slavery ring come together, and this results in some chases through the streets of Sydney, on and over every conceivable landmark the film-makers could get permission to climb (these include the newly constructed Darling Harbour and Sydney Monorail). At times the movie feels more like an advert for the Australian Tourist Commission than a Saint episode (it even includes throwing ‘prawns on the barbie’). Fear In Fun Park is an amateurish production despite the people in front and behind the camera, which is such a shame, because Sydney is a great setting for a Saint story. The white slavery story itself isn’t too bad, but there are a few too many story threads that probably only resonate with Sydneysiders who were there in the late eighties. One such is the ‘Save Luna Park’ thread, which was an issue when the Park had been left abandoned for years after a fire on one of the rides killed some children. It looked as if the derelict Park would be sold off to foreign investors, who would redevelop the land. Viewers from other parts of the world, particularly now (nearly twenty years later), may wonder what the hell the characters are talking about. Why? What protesters? As I seem to do with all the Simon Dutton Saint movies, I 'llsign off by saying that Saint fans may feel compelled to watch this episode, but it really isn’t very good at all. Others should stay clear.  Labels: Character: The Saint posted by David at 3:01 PM | 0 Comments | Links to this post The Blue Dulac Year: 1989Directed by Dennis Berry Simon Dutton, John Astin, Camille Naud, Sabine Naud, Patricia Barzyk Music by Serge Franklin (with additional music by Tony Britten) Based on characters created by Leslie Charteris Umbrella Entertainment have finally released the 1989 The Saint series on DVD. Now this series isn’t particularly good, unsure of whether it’s a comedy, or a gritty crime series. Thankfully this entry brings back some of the jet-setting glamour that was missing from other episodes. The Blue Dulac is set in France and features some grand homes and architecture. It at least looks like Simon Templar is living the high-life; rather than just being an average Joe with a penchant for theft and beautiful women. The film opens in France. A young couple, Jack and Christine Coultar return to their palatial home only to find that is has been trashed. Red spray paint has been used on the painted art, walls and furniture; and all the mirrors, statues and vases have been shattered. The curtains and drapery have been shredded. The door to the safe lies open. Inside is a note saying that next time they come back when Christine is at home. Jack closes the door to the safe, but it has been wired to a bomb. The house is blown up and Jack and Christine killed. The man that police believe is behind the atrocity is George La Force (John Astin – but he’ll always be Gomez Adams to me). La Force is a big time gangster who blows up anyone or anything that stands in his way. La Force looks like he’ll be brought to trial for the murder of Jack and Christine, but at the last minute, the Judge decides not to proceed with the case due to a lack of evidence. In fact though, La Force had a team of thugs hold the Judge’s family held at gunpoint. If the Judge had proceeded, La Force would have killed his family. As so often happens in these Saintly adventures, Jack and Christine were friends with Simon Templar (Simon Dutton) AKA: The Saint. It is not long before The Saint is in France and attempting to bring down La Force’s empire of evil. La Force has one weakness which Templar plans to exploit – it is a fondness, verging on obsession, for sapphires. Posing as a jewel thief named Lamont, Templar intends to steal The Blue Dulac, a priceless sapphire necklace, and apportion the blame to La Force. Helping and hindering Templar in his quest are Sabine and Seraphin, a set of twins who’s father was killed in a bomb blast set off by La Force. As gorgeous as the twins are, their acting is sub-par. Bad acting seems to be a common fault in this series of The Saint. As likeable an actor as John Astin is, casting him as a bad guy in a movie set in France is doomed from the outset. I keep expecting him to say “Tish, you spoke French!” Simon Dutton, as always, cuts a fine figure as The Saint. His hairstyle may have dated slightly, but he certainly isn’t painful to watch, unlike some of the actors and actresses in this show. For my mind, The Blue Dulac is a step up from The Software Murders (but that isn’t hard), but it is hardly core Saint material. If you’re a fan of The Saint then this maybe worth a look just to tick it off your list, but other than that I’d probably give it a miss. Labels: Character: The Saint posted by David at 12:31 PM | 0 Comments | Links to this post The Saint In London Year: 1939Directed by John Paddy Carstairs George Sanders, Sally Gray, David Burns, Gordon McLeod, Athen Seyler, Henry Oscar, Ralph Truman, Ballard Berkeley, John Abbott Music by Marr Mackie Based on the short story, ‘The Million Pound Day’ by Leslie Charteris In some ways, The Saint In London is one of The Saint’s most espionage based stories, but to tell you why and how would ruin some of the twists and turns that this story has to offer. As The Saint films of this era where barely more than B-grade programmers with rather stripped down stories, to reveal the twist would be criminal, so I’ll refrain. You know, I like George Sanders as The Saint. He only made five Saint films, and then went on to become The Falcon (much to the chagrin of Leslie Charteris, who sued RKO claiming that The Falcon was The Saint in all but name). But Sanders as The Saint is very effective, even though some of the stories used (or the adaptations at any rate) were sub standard. Sanders shines through. He was a class act, and this shows through in his portrayal of the character. The film opens with Simon Templar, AKA The Saint (George Sanders) arriving by car at the exclusive Restaurant Maxy. As he is about to enter, a man at the door asks for a cigarette. The Saint obliges, but as he lights the cigarette, the man who happens to be a thief, lifts Templar’s watch. As he does so, a police officer notices and tries to intervene on Templars behalf. The Saint protests that the officer must be mistaken and produces a watch from his pocket. It is in fact the pickpockets watch, which The Saint had swiped, as recompense for the pickpocket taking his. Once inside the restaurant, The Saint orders a drink and a meal. Then rather sheepishly, the pickpocket makes his way into the restaurant and to The Saint’s table. He introduces himself as Dugan (David Burns), and trades watches with The Saint. The Saint offers Dugan a meal and a job as his valet. But Templar isn’t at the restaurant to meet Dugan. He has a prearranged dinner engagement with old chum Richard Blake (Ballard Berkeley). Berkeley has been having a spot of bother with a gentleman named Bruno Lang (Henry Oscar). And it turns out with good reason. Lang is in fact an underworld mob boss. Templar agrees to help Blake and arranges to meet Lang at a party. Along with Lang, he also meets Penny Parker (Sally Gray), who realises that Templar is up to something, and the ‘nosey’ side of her nature wants to find out what it is. Templar first notifies Bruno Lang that he is on to him, by leaving a calling card on the steering wheel of Langs Car. The card say ‘Bruno Lang Vs. The Saint’. Lang shrugs it off as a joke, but Templar makes his way to Lang’s home, breaks in and riffles through the documents in the safe. He finds what he is looking for, and then makes a hasty exit. On his way out, he runs into a security guard who has been walking the perimeter of Lang’s estate. Templar knocks the guard down and makes a run for it. Luckily for The Saint, the very, very nosey Ms. Parker has followed him to Lang’s. She hears the gunshots as the guard fires after Templar. She gets into Templar’s car and starts the engine. By the time Templar comes bounding out, the car is moving and he hitches a ride on the running boards. As they speed along the road, away from the scene of the crime, they come across a beaten man running down the road, fearing for his life. Templar offers assistance, firstly by hiding the scared man in his car. And then by secondly raising his boot into the chest of the goon who was chasing the poor guy. Templar and Parker take the man to a hotel and The Saint arranges for a doctor to come and see the man. Once he is patched up, the man reveals himself to be Count Duni. Duni is a foreign diplomat who was sent to England to oversee the printing of new currency for his country. Unfortunately he had been captured by some of Bruno Lang’s goon and was forced to sign over for the printing of an extra million pounds. Lang and his mobsters intend to ruch this new money into circulation as the new currency is released. That way it would be untraceable. As complicated as all that seems, it is even more so. You see, when Templar rescued the Count, and clobbered Lang’s goon, a police officer noticed. Well he noticed Templar clobbering the goon then making a quick getaway. The officer wrote down the car number plate and passed it onto his superiors. It isn’t long before it crosses the desk of Inspector Claud Teal (Gordon McLeod) of Scotland Yard. Naturally Teal has been trying to catch The Saint for years, and is soon investigating. The Saint In London is a pacey little thriller with a fine resolution. The one strange thing about this episode, is usually a character like The Saint, has one ‘hanger on’ who acts as comic relief. In this episode, he has three – Penney parker, Dugan, and even Inspector Teal. I suppose this only serves to make The Saint seem even more dashing. All in all, this is not bad.  Labels: Character: The Saint posted by David at 12:27 PM | 0 Comments | Links to this post Tuesday, July 1, 2008The High Commissioner Year: 1968Directed by Ralph Thomas Rod Taylor, Christopher Plummer, Lilli Palmer, Carmilla Sparv, Leo McKern, Daliah Lavi, Derren Nesbitt, Clive Revill, Bud Tingwell, Burt Kwouk Music by Georges Delerue Based on the Novel By Jon Cleary The book, The High Commissioner, by Jon Cleary, and the film The High Commissioner are two very different beasts. Cleary’s book is more of a police story than a spy story. Central to both versions, however, is a peace conference. In the film, the conference is for a generic ‘world peace’. In the book, the conference is struggling to end the war in Vietnam, and the characters reflect this. Madame Cholon, played in the movie by Daliah Lavi, is supposed to be Vietnamese. Although Miss Lavi is an exotic beauty, she is hardly Asian. Another strange bit of casting is Derren Nesbitt in the role of Pallain. In the book Pallain is of French / Mexican extraction. Nesbitt whose career is peppered with many Teutonic characters is definitely not the right actor for this role, but you have to give the film-makers credit for trying. They dyed Nesbitt’s hair black, darkened his face with makeup, and gave him a silly moustache. Despite their best efforts the transformation does not work. The other casting choices for the film are pretty good though. Rugged Rod Taylor is almost perfect as Scobie Malone. I would have loved to have seen him play the role again. Taylor’s career in the late 60’s and early 70’s is interesting in that he played a few characters from successful literary series. It is almost as if he was searching for a nice little film franchise that he could settle into and just churn out film after film, year after year. Unfortunately for Taylor none of the films were hits. Apart from Scobie Malone, Taylor had a crack a Boysie Oakes in The Liquidator, from the series by John Gardner; and in Darker Than Amber he played Travis McGee from the books by John D. MacDonald. Also well cast is Christopher Plummer as Sir James Quentin. As he is the ambassador, I can forgive that he doesn’t have an Australian accent. Onto the story...Scobie Malone is a hard working Sergeant in the New South Wales Police force. One morning he receives a summons from the NSW Premier, Flannery (Leo McKern). Flannery has never liked the Australian High Commissioner in London, Sir James Quentin (Christopher Plummer), and has had men checking Quentin’s background searching for dirt. In his quest, Flannery has discovered a disturbing piece of information – Quentin is wanted on an ages old murder charge. Flannery wants Malone to fly to London and arrest the High Commissioner on suspicion of murder. Malone catches a flight to London and finds that Quentin is quite willing to go back and faces the charges – but not right away. You see, at this moment he is engaged in some important peace talks, and if he were to leave in the middle of proceedings, the fragile peace discussions may collapse. Malone is not happy about the delay. He is a simple guy, not someone used to black-tie balls and diplomatic soirées. Adding to Malone’s problems, is that someone is trying to kill Quentin. So Malone is seconded into a role as a security advisor and bodyguard for the High Commissioner. During Malone’s extended stay he gets drawn into the Quentin household. Apart from Sir James, this includes Lady Sheila Quentin (Lilli Palmer) , Joseph – the butler (Clive Revill), and Sir James’ secretary, Lisa Pretorius (Carmilla Sparv). Lisa is a constant thorn in Malone’s side as he tries to carry out his duties. Incidentally, in Jon Cleary’s book series, Malone would later marry Lisa. The script of this film doesn’t really hint at a budding romance, in fact it’s hard to see Malone and Lisa’s relationship growing at all. Let’s just say, that opposites attract. The High Commissioner is a difficult film for me to review, because I had read a couple of Cleary’s books before I was able to track down the movie...and while I enjoy the movie enormously, it grates on me that it is so dumbed down compared to the book. It’s the old cliché – ‘the book is so much better’ – but here I am reviewing the film, not the book, so ignoring the book, I’d say the film is a fun slice of sixties spy cinema with an engaging cast. I guess that’s not a bad thing.
posted by David at 8:43 PM | 0 Comments | Links to this post Wednesday, June 11, 2008Where The Spies Are Year: 1965Directed by Val Guest David Niven, Francoise Dorleac, John Le Mesurier, Cyril Cusack, Eric Pohlmann, Nigel Davenport Music by Mario Nascimbene Based on the novel by James Leasor Many years ago, I read one of James Leasor’s Jason Love Adventures. It was Passport To Suspense, and had the hero battling neo-Nazis in South America. It was a rattling good read and I have always intended to read a few more of Love’s adventures, but I haven’t gotten around to it. But I have finally got my steel claws on a copy of the film version of Passport To Oblivion – filmed as Where The Spies Are (thank you RRD). I must admit that in my minds eye, David Niven just doesn’t seem like Jason Love, but anyway let’s look at the film. The film opens with titles by sixties design guru Robert Brownjohn. Brownjohn also did the titles for From Russia With Love and Goldfinger – he also did the album cover for The Rolling Stones Let It Bleed. Unfortunately these titles aren’t as visually compelling as some of his other work. It is essentially a burning piece of paper, but we are compensated by a groovy instrumental theme by composer Mario Nascimbene (featuring an organ solo by Jimmy Smith). After the titles, the film opens in Moscow. A British defector is lecturing a group of KGB students on some of the more covert Western espionage secrets. As examples, projected on the screen behind him are British agents and enlargements of the weapons and gadgets that they use. One of these M.I.6 operatives is Peter Rosser and he is stationed in Beirut. The film then cuts to Beirut and to Agent Rosser. We follow Rosser to the Hotel Al Cazar, where he is captured by enemy agents and ultimately killed. Back in England, the head of M.I.6, Douglas MacGillivray (John Le Mesurier) needs a replacement for Rosser fast. It seems there’s more trouble brewing in the Middle East (that’s a new concept). As security has been broken, they can’t use their regular agents. They need a man from their ‘B’ list. For cover, they check a list of events happening in Beirut that week. There happens to be a malaria conference. There is only one doctor on the ‘B’ list: Dr. Jason Love (David Niven). M.I.6 think he is the perfect candidate, but now they have to convince him to go. M.I.6’s preferred method of coercion is blackmail. Love’s one weakness is that he is a Cord enthusiast – Cord being a make of car. M.I.6 offer Love a rare model Cord, ‘the Baron’. Love grudgingly accepts and sent off on the mission. Love travels via Rome, where he meets a fellow operative, Vikki (Francoise Dorleac). As he has a few hours to kill before his connecting flight to Beirut, he heads back to Vikki’s apartment for, er, refreshment. In the end he overstays his visit and misses his flight. This is a godsend for Love, because the plane blows up, just after take off. Love finally makes it to Beirut, and his adventure really starts. One of the characters Love meets is Parkington played by Nigel Davenport. And for a short while he gives this production the ‘toughness’ it has been lacking. In fact, on the strength of his performance, I’d have liked to see him play Love rather than Niven. The film works and fails on Niven as Love. Niven is such a likeable actor that he effortlessly carries this production. It’s his screen presence that makes this film watchable. At the same time he is possibly too charming –and too old. Love, although middle aged is a man of adventure. His passion for exotic sports cars and fast driving indicate that he is a man who enjoys an adrenalin rush. Whereas Niven (at his age) is a man of leisure, rather than adventure. You would expect to find him in a fine restaurant drinking a superior bottle of vintage wine, rather than in a sports car with his foot mashed down on the accelerator. Niven’s a great actor, but he was simply miscast in this role. The film itself, doesn’t seem sure of whether it’s a comedy or a serious spy film, and the shifts in tone make it hard to sit back and settle into this movie. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed it, but I felt it could have been so much more. And maybe if they had got it right we would have seen more Jason Love films on the cinema screen. Labels: Espionage, Stars: David Niven posted by David at 10:40 AM | 0 Comments | Links to this post Saturday, May 31, 2008The Submarine Mission ImpossibleYear: 1970 Directed by Paul Krasny Peter Graves, Leonard Nimoy, Greg Morris, Peter Lupus, Lee Meriwether, Stephen McNally, Ramon Bieri, William Wintersole Music by Lalo Schifrin By the fourth season of Mission Impossible, the IMF team had quite a shakeup. Martin Landau and his wife, Barbara Bain had left the series, and in came Leonard Nimmoy (I am an actor, not Spock), as master magician, Paris. The shakeup didn’t really effect the series too much, but I suspect the formula was starting to wear thin. This particular episode starts in the usual manner, with Jim Phelps (Peter Graves) receiving his instructions from a miniaturised tape recorder (the recording will, of course ‘self-destruct’ afterwards). His mission is to locate a vast quantity of money stolen by the S.S. at the end of World War II. This money is to be used to fund a Neo-Nazi coup in Europe. The only person who knows the location of this money is Krueger Stelman (Stephan McNally). Stelman is about to be released from prison after a 25 year stint for war crimes. But the IMF aren’t the only people trying to track the money. Colonel Sardner (Ramon Bieri) is an interrogation officer for an un-named Communist country, and each evening he takes Stelman from his prison cell and has him delivered to his headquarters, where he grills him about the location of the money. Over 25 years Stelman has never broken. In fact, it is something that he is very proud of. Every morning, after the interrogation, Stelman is driven back to prison. On Stelman’s last day of incarceration, the IMF pull off a daring kidnapping, as Stelman is returned to prison one morning. Sardner is not happy that his prisoner has been snatched from under his nose and sets up road blocks around the city. He then orders patrols to search every building in the area until they find Stelman. Jim and the IMF team figure they have 2 hours to break Stelman before they are discovered by Sardner. The clock is ticking... Stelman wakes up on the top of a two tier bunk on a German U-boat. Below him, on the bottom tier is Tracey (Lee Meriwether), another IMF agent. It looks like she has been badly beaten. Her face is swollen and bruised and she has blood on her cheek. She is also rambling incoherently about Colonel Sardner. To Stelman, it appears that she too was interrogated by Colonel Sardner, but she broke and provided information to the enemy. Of course, being the IMF, they aren’t really on a U-boat, but an elaborately constructed set inside a warehouse, near where the abduction took place. Jim Phelps and Paris (Leonard Nimmoy) play two German officers who are taking Stelman and Tracey back to S.S. Headquarters to stand trial. When Stelman realises that he too must be looked upon as a traitor, if he is to stand trial. But he knows that he didn’t break under interrogation and he can prove his innocence by providing the location of the stolen S.S. funds. In usual Mission Impossible style, there are a few twists and turns in the plot, and of course, they have to beat the clock and get the information they require before Colonel Sardner and his goons arrive. This is a pretty slick entry in the Mission Impossible series, but the story is somewhat predictable. And for me, the biggest crime is that Lee Meriwether is almost wasted in this episode. Thankfully she appears in three other episodes in the series. Labels: Series: Mission Impossible posted by David at 12:01 AM | 0 Comments | Links to this post Friday, May 30, 2008Odds On Evil Mission ImpossibleYear: 1966 Directed by Charles R. Rondeau Steven Hill, Barbara Bain, Greg Morris, Peter Lupus, Martin Landau, Nico Mindaros, Nehemiah Persoff, Vincent Van Lynn Music by Gerald Fried Mission Impossible Theme by Lalo Schifrin Odds On Evil is one of the most popular episodes from season one for spy fans because the story closely resembles Ian Fleming’s novel Casino Royale. But rather than relying on card sense, the IMF team rely on gadgets and card tricks to break the villain’s bank. The episode opens with IMF leader, Dan Briggs (Steven Hill) toying around in an amusement arcade. He is taken out the back by the proprietor and lead to an old moviola and then left alone. Briggs brings his eyes to the viewer and is given the details of the new mission. After the briefing, the message, naturally, self destructs. The IMF Team’s mission is to take down Prince Iben Kostas (Nehemiah Persoff), the leader of an un-named European country. Kostas intends to declare war on a neighbouring oil rich country. To do this, he has ordered 1.5 million dollars worth of weapons from arms dealer Oliver Borgman (Vincent Van Lynn). The weapons are on their way by ship, and Kostas has agreed to pay for them on delivery. Kostas, apart from being his countries leader also runs the countries casino. The IMF intend to obtain the money that Kostas intends to pay for the arms shipment, by breaking the bank at Kostas’ casino. The team selected for this mission are IMF electronics wizard, Barney Collier (Greg Morris), who set about putting together some gadgets that can help the team in it’s quest. Next is Rollin Hand (Martin Landau), the teams master of disguise and deception. In preparation, he works on his card handling skills and sleight-of-hand. Willy Armitage (Peter Lupus) is the muscle of the group, and Cinnamon Carton (Barbara Bain) is the beauty. The special guest agent is Andre Malif (Nico Mindaros). When they get to Kostas’ country, Cinnamon immediately makes contact with the Prince. She pretends to be a rich married woman. Andre plays her long suffering husband. Despite being ‘married’ she still throws herself at the Prince. To get revenge, Andre attempts to break the bank by playing roulette. Naturally he has a little help from one of Barney’s gadgets. Standing close by is Willy Armitage who has a ninety pound computer is hidden in the lining of his suit. This computer can work out where the ball will stop on the roulette wheel. Then the number pops up on the dial of Andre’s watch. Andre quickly amasses a small fortune as the Prince watches on. As Andre passes the $150,000 mark, the Prince shuts down the table. But Andre isn’t smart enough to take his winnings and go. No, he has to attempt to win more – this time at the Baccarat table. But Andre’s luck doesn’t hold out. He loses all his winnings to another card player; Rollin Hand. Andre walks away dejected and defeated. After his win, Rollin is looking to call it a night too. But Kostas sees Rollin as any easy mark, and that he can win the casinos money back. Everyone seems like an easy mark to Kostas, because he has marked all the casino’s playing cards and wears special contact lenses to read them. But what he doesn’t know is that Rollin has worked out Kostas’ system and is wearing contact lenses too. One aspect of the 2006 Casino Royale movie that I was disappointed in, was that the film-makers changed the card game in the story, from Baccarat to Texas Hold ‘em Poker. The reason given for this was that they believed that Baccarat was too complicated and the viewing audience would not understand it. One of the joys of Odds On Evil is that Kostas gives Cinnamon a minute long lesson in Baccarat. It’s clear and concise and drives the story along. Even those unfamiliar with the game will understand what is happening on the screen. It’s a shame that the Bond film felt the need to dumb down for it’s audience, whereas Mission: Impossible educated their audience instead. Apart from the card game, the other Bondian touch to Odds On Evil is the car that the IMF team choose to make their escape in. As you’ve no doubt guessed, it’s an Aston Martin DB5. As this is a season one episode, it has Steven Hill and the team leader, rather than Peter Graves. Graves is so indelibly linked with this show, when going back and looking at the earlier episodes, it sometimes seems rather strange that he isn’t there. But in the end Odds On Evil is a great example of the Mission: Impossible formula, and one that should be of interest to spy fans in general. Labels: Series: Mission Impossible posted by David at 9:14 PM | 0 Comments | Links to this post Sunday, May 25, 2008The Avengers Year: 1998Directed by Jeremiah Chechik Ralph Feinnes, Sean Connery, Uma Thurman, Jim Broadbent, Eddie Izzard Music by Joel McNeely ‘Avengers Theme’ by Laurie Johnson Song ‘Hurricane’ performed by Grace Jones You know I loved the original Avengers TV series – c’mon, we all do!. It is with a heavy heart that I report that The Avengers movie is a major disappointment. All the ingredients are there for the film to work. The film has a great cast. Ralph Fiennes fills the bowler hat rather well, and few actresses could fill the black leather catsuit as curvaceously as Uma Thurman. Sean Connery is Sir August DeWinter, the villain of the piece. And thankfully the film-makers haven’t tried to Americanise The Avengers. Everything is very British: - ‘Bowler Hats’, ‘Afternoon Tea’, ‘Red London Double Decker Buses’, sporty ‘E-type Jaguars’. All but Union Jack underwear. So where did this film go wrong? In practically every department. Ralph Fiennes fills the bowler hat well, but seems to lack the joie de vivre that Patrick Macnee displayed. But Fiennes, out of all the actors in this film, comes off the least unscathed. Uma Thurman looks great, but she is terrible in the role. I realise Dame Diana is a tough act to follow, but Uma is ice cold in this performance. I never thought I say that Sean Connery is simply awful in a movie. Sure he’s been in bad movies, but he is usually the best thing in them – for example Meteor, Zardoz and Highlander 2! But in The Avengers Connery reaches a new low. I guess a large proportion of the blame should go to the script writers who had him mouth lines like, ‘I enjoy a good lashing before teatime’. So despite the great cast in this film, nearly all of them give the worst performances of their lives. The next big mistake the film-makers made is that they couldn’t decide if they were making a few set in the sixties, with all the mod fashion that goes with it, or making a new updated version of The Avengers for a new younger generation. Instead we got a film that hard back to the sixties, but has all these dreadful high tech gizmos and display screens. The overall look of the film is rather gloomy, despite it’s mod sensibilities. In it’s defence, the story is about the ‘weather’ and ‘storms’ but even then, all the interiors are grey and dark. The story is a bit of a muddle too, but it does feature some ‘Avengers’ moments, that could have almost been lifted from the sixties series, but in the futuristic setting they look wrong, or simply don’t work. The plot concerns the theft of the Ministry Of Defence’s Prospero weather shield. The main suspect is Dr. Emma Peel, due to the fact the have video footage of her committing the crime. She claims to be innocent, and is teamed up with secret agent John Steed to find out who the true culprit is. Their investigations lead them to eccentric recluse, Sir August De Winter. Their are rumours that a better ‘director’s cut’ of this film exists, but as the film did so poorly, there are no current plans to release it. Who knows – over a passage of time, it may one day see the light. But I don’t hold much hope of it even being significantly better. There are simply too many things wrong with this film, and most criminally of all is it lacks that humour, and I’ll use the term again, the ‘joie de vivre’ that the original television series had. I hate to say this, but I wouldn’t bother tracking this down. If you need an Avengers fix, go back to the originals.  Labels: Stars: Sean Connery, The Avengers posted by David at 9:15 PM | 4 Comments | Links to this post Wednesday, May 21, 2008Dr. Goldfoot And The Girl Bombs Year: 1966Directed by Mario Bava Vincent Price, Fabian, Franco Franchi, Ciccio Ingrassia, Francesco Mulé, Laura Antonelli, Movana Tahi, George Wang Music by Les Baxter Programmed For Love And Destruction Now this one is really hard to explain. In fact I needed it explained to me a few times before I really got it. Firstly in the United States, in 1965 there was a film called Dr. Goldfoot and The Bikini Machine, which starred Vincent Price as a villainous character called Dr. Goldfoot. In that film, Goldfoot made ‘girl-bots’ (it would be a few years until the term ‘fembot’ was coined) to seduce the world’s wealthiest men, and acquire their fortunes. Also in Italy, during 1965 a film was released called Due Mafiosi Contro Goldginger (AKA: Two Mafiosi Against Goldfinger), which starred Italian comedy duo, Franco Franchi and Ciccio Ingrassia. Dr. Goldfoot And The Girl Bombs (1966) or Spie vengono dal semifreddo (The Spy Who Came In From The Semi-Cold) as it is known in Italy was made to be a sequel to both of them. Obviously, they were edited slightly differently to make the content more relevant to their specific audiences. I have never seen the Italian version, but I have been told that it is slightly better than the American version. But that couldn’t be hard as the American version is pretty terrible. Granted, the Goldfoot films were never intended to be more than cheesy light-hearted fair, but film lacks the one essential ingredient for all comedy films – namely comedy. This is the type of film that attempts to get laughs by speeding up the film and adding cartoon sound effects. But I’ll be brave and soldier on. Seven NATO Generals are due to meet in Rome for a series of wargames. But before each of them arrives, each of them is sent one of Dr. Goldfoot’s Girl Bombs. The Girl Bombs are beautiful, life-like girl robots, but if you kiss them, they explode. And this is exactly what the NATO Generals do. Boom. One assassination takes place at a hotel where Franco and Ciccio are working as doormen. When Goldfoot walks in, he is discreetly followed by Bill Dexter (Fabian). Dexter is an agent for the Security Intelligence Command (S.I.C.). Franco and Ciccio, for reasons known only to themselves, beat up Fabian, bind and gag him, and then drag him into the hotel’s bathroom. Meanwhile Goldfoot’s Girl Bomb explodes upstairs. Franco and Ciccio realise they have made a mistake and release Dexter, and follow him back to S.I.C. Headquarters. Here Franco and Ciccio get inducted into a spy recruit program. Later, Colonel Benson (Francesco Mulé), the head of S.I.C. utilises the latest computer technology to select the two best operatives to investigate the deaths of the NATO Generals. Unbeknownst to Benson, Dr. Goldfoot is watching and listening to his every move. Goldfoot, crosses the wires in the computer, so rather than spitting out the names of the best agents, it gives the names of the worst, yep, Franco and Ciccio. So now, Franco and Ciccio have to stop Goldfoot, whose plan involves impersonating the last NATO General, who he happens to be a dead ringer for. Buried under all this mess, there is a spy story. It’s a plot by the Chinese to take over the world. It’s the usual America and Russia destroy each other, leaving China as the dominant world power to take over. But having said that, if you’re a fan of spy movies, I wouldn’t go hunting for this one. Even if you’re a Mario Bava fan, I’d steer clear. This isn’t worth your time. Labels: Director: Mario Bava, Espionage, Eurospies posted by David at 9:33 PM | 3 Comments | Links to this post Tuesday, May 20, 2008Never Say Never Again Year: 1984Directed by Irvin Kershner Sean Connery, Kim Bassinger, Max Von Sydow, Barbara Carrera, Bernie Casey, Rowan Atkinson, Edward Fox as M, Alec McCowen as Algernon (Q Branch). Music by Michel Legrand Title Song performed by Lani Hall James Bond is back! Never Say Never Again has a long tortuous production history which in itself could fill a book, and in fact has done so. For the definitive story on the making of Never Say Never Again and it's connection to Thunderball, you must obtain a copy of Robert Sellers book The Battle For Bond published by Tomahawk Press. It follows the saga from the late fifties through to 2006. Despite all the trials, tribulations and lawsuits, the end result is an ‘unofficial’ Bond movie with Sean Connery returning to the role that made him famous in the sixties. The film is essentially a remake of Thunderball. The story concerns the evil crime organisation, S.P.E.CT.R.E., hijacking two nuclear warheads and blackmailing the western world for one hundred million dollars. Let’s have a closer look: The film opens with James Bond storming a military complex in South America. A young lady is being held hostage and it is Bond’s mission to rescue her. Using guns, explosives and garotte wires, Bond eliminates the girls captors and enters the room where she is being held. He unties the ropes around her wrists and for his trouble, she reaches under the mattress, produces a knife and stabs Bond in the chest. Hey, hang on! Where is the gunbarrel logo and the pre-title sequence? As this isn’t an official entry in the EON series, for copyright reasons, Never Say Never Again doesn’t have some of the familiar trapping that people associate with James Bond movies. Firstly, the famous gunbarrel logo at the start of the film – you know the one – where Bond walks onto the screen encircled by a bullets eye view of a gunbarrel – Bond turns and fires and a wash of blood covers the screen – well it’s gone. In it’s place are the numbers 007 repeated across the screen. And there is no pre-title sequence or cow-catcher as some people call it at the start. We are launched directly into the movie. Even Michel Legrand’s score, again for copyright reasons couldn’t use the James Bond theme. It is very different from other music in the series. Some of it is quite good; standouts include the Calypso sounds (including kettle drums) for Bond’s sojourn in the Bahamas, and the orchestral arrangement for the Tango sequence. But the title song, sung by Lani Hall is dreadful. And a small piece of trivia – the trumpet solo in the title song is by Herb Alpert who did the title tune to Casino Royale in 1967. So we are inside a movie that is very different to previous Bond films, and hard-core Bond fanatics may find it all rather disconcerting. But back to the synopsis. Connery Bond had just been stabbed in the chest. Thankfully it is not for real. It is part of a series of wargames designed to assess the status of all M.I.6 operatives. But Bond’s death does not please his controller, M, this time played in a rather gruff manner by Edward Fox. Bond is sent to Shrublands health farm to loose a few pounds and get back into shape. James Bond is not the only visitor to Shrublands. Other visitor’s include, Fatima Blush (Barabara Carrera), a killer for S.P.E.C.T.R.E. and Captain Jack Petachi (Gavan O'Herlihy). Petachi has had an operation on his eye, to make his retina identical to the President of the United States. Call me stupid, but where on earth can you find an image of the President’s retina, and secondly how can you replicate that pattern / image into the eyeball of another human being. Aside from that nonsense, Shublands happens to be conveniently close to a military base a base which in planning a training exercise with dummy nuclear warheads. Petachi’s mission is to go to the base, and using his fake eye as identification, change the dummy warheads, for live nukes. Bond realises something is afoot, but before he can act, he is attacked by Lippe, played by ex-wrestler Pat Roach. Petachi succeeds in switching the warheads, and S.P.E.C.T.R.E. get their hands on the nukes and hold the world for ransom. Soon after Bond is once again, called into service, and assigned to find the warheads. Kim Bassinger, in an early role, plays Domino Petachi, Jack’s sister. Bond believes that if he gets close enough to her, he can find out about her brother and where the weapons are. Bassinger is certainly attractive enough, and while hardly being the worst Bond girl to ever grace the screen, she is a bit green in the acting stakes, and some of her scenes are quite awkward. However, she does have a few good scenes with Connery, particularly in a bath house, where Bond impersonates a masseuse, and on the dancefloor where they perform the tango. Never Say Never Again’s underwater climax is slow moving and at times it is hard to tell who is good, and who is bad. It is the only true boring ending to any Bond film. It makes you long for the style of Terrence Young, and the ending to Thunderball. The best thing about Never Say Never Again (apart from Connery) are the villains. The casting is generally very good. Max Von Sydow plays Blofeld, James Bond’s arch nemesis. Von Sydow is a stalwart of the genre (The Quiller Memorandum, 3 Days Of The Condor) and he adds a bit of weight to the role, although it is essentially a cameo. The main villain is Maximillian Largo, played by Klaus Maria Brandauer. Largo is architect of S.P.E.C.T.R.E.’s plan to steal the nuclear warheads. Brandauer is a brilliant actor, and his slightly theatrical performance is a great contrast to Connery’s. Brandauer has the ability to change from totally charming (dare I say it - loveable rogue) to icy malevolence with a single gesture. Last but certainly not least is Barbara Carrera’s over the top performance as Fatima Blush. Fatima is Largo’s number one assassin. She is deliciously wicked, outrageously dressed, and always very easy on the eye. She is the type of woman, who after seducing Bond (though, that isn’t difficult), sets a pack of Tiger Sharks onto him. Other cast members include Bernie Casie as Bond’s old friend Felix Leiter, and Rowan Atkinson has a cameo in the movie as Nigel Smallfawcett, the companies ‘Man in the Bahamas’. The role is underwritten and not very funny. If you are a fan of the Bond movies then you must watch this, if only to compare it to the official series, but be warned, despite the presence of Sean Connery, the movie is not very good. Labels: Character: James Bond, Espionage, Stars: Sean Connery posted by David at 11:08 AM | 1 Comments | Links to this post Monday, May 19, 2008The Man With The Golden Gun Year: 1974Directed by Guy Hamilton Roger Moore, Christopher Lee, Britt Ekland, Maud Adams, Hervé Villechaise, Demond Llewelyn, Bernard Lee Music by John Barry Title song performed by Lulu Based loosely on the novel by Ian Fleming The Man With The Golden Gun is the most psychedelic of the Bond series or at least tries to be. The villains lair, which is revealed in the opening sequence, and features in the finale is a carnival of flashing coloured lights, revolving mirrors, robotic toys and wall high video screens. But despite all the toys it isn’t that trippy. As such, it provides the setting for one of the Bond series weakest endings. The story for two thirds of it’s running time is okay, but it is always leading to the showdown between Bond and The Man With The Golden Gun, Francisco Scaramanga. And that showdown is a bit disappointing. James Bond (Roger Moore) is summoned to M’s office. M (Bernard Lee) presents Bond with a package that has been sent to M.I.6 headquarters in London. Inside the package is a golden bullet and etched on the side are the numbers 0-0-7. It looks like somebody wants James Bond dead, and that someone happens to be Franscisco Scaramanga. Scaramanga is the world’s most expensive and dangerous assassin. He is known as the ‘man with the golden gun’ because he always uses a gold bullet to kill his targets. On top of that, he charges one million dollars for every target – it’s not bad work if you can get it! M relieves Bond from duty. M.I.6 cannot jeopardise a mission by having an agent shot while on active duty. Bond suggests that if he found Scaramanga first, then the tables would be turned. M agrees and begins tracking down the mysterious ‘man with the golden gun’. Bond’s first port of call is a nightclub in Istanbul. A Double-O agent had been killed there many years previously by Scaramanga. The agent had been with an exotic dancer named Saida when he was killed, and now she uses the remnants of the bullet as a lucky charm, wedged in her navel. After some gentle coercion, Bond obtains the bullet and takes it to Q-Branch. Q (Desmond Llewellyn) examines the bullet and the mineral content of the gold that it was made from. Q ascertains that the gold could have only come from one part of the world, the Far East, and only one man in that part of the world is equipped to make some specialised bullets. His name is Lazaar and he works out of Macao. Bond pays a vist to Lazaar and threatens to kill him unless he leads him to Scaramanga. In fear for his life, Lazaar offers to help, but he is only a small link in the chain. He takes the golden bullets to a casino where they are collected by a lady. As it happens, Lazaar has another shipment of bullets ready to be delivered. As he takes them to the casino for collection, Bond follows and watches. At the casino, the bullets are collected by Andrea Anders (Maud Adams). She leaves and catches a hydrofoil to Hong Kong and then checks into a hotel, all the time with Bond discreetly on her trail. Later, Bond convinces one of the hotel staff to open the door to Andrea’s hotel suite. Inside she is taking a shower and does not hear Bond enetre the room. After she has exited the shower, Bond asks her where he can find Scaramanga. She refuses to say. In one of Roger Moore’s more brutal scenes as Bond, he gives her a backhand across the jaw and then literally twists her arm. She tells Bond that Scaramanga has an appointment that evening at a Hong Kong night club called the ‘Bottom’s Up’. As this Bond film is set in Asia, and at this time Kung-Fu films were exceedingly popular, it is not surprising that The Man With The Golden Gun jumped onto the martial arts bandwagon. The scenes aren’t too successful because Roger Moore is not too convincing as a martial artist, and most of the scenes fall to Lieutenant Hip (Soon-Tek Oh), who plays Bond’s contact in Hong Kong. The Man With The Golden gun of the title is played by Christopher Lee, and he is pretty good in the role, but he is at his most charming and menacing when he is simply conversing with Bond. Whenever Scaramanga has to engage in any type of action it comes off as silly (this probably has more to do with the script, than Lee’s acting ability). On such scene is where he has to slide down, on the soles of his feet, an embankment of flattened steps (don’t ask!), and then roll into a somersault, grab his gun and fire at the target. Equally silly, is when he has to pilot a flying car. Lee is at his best as an urbane gentleman – not as a two bit action hero. Hervé Villechaise is Scaramanga’s diminutive manservant Nick Nack who at the height of 3' 11" is not a particularly threatening henchman. In fact, he is one of the few villains in the Bond series who is not killed. There are two main Bond girls in The Man With The Golden Gun. The first is Maud Adams. Adams plays Andrea Anders, the woman who sets the whole chains of events in motion by sending James Bond one of Scaramanga’s golden bullets. The bullet usually signifies the recipient is to be the next target for assassination by The Man With The Golden Gun, but in this instance it is simply a ploy to drag James Bond into Miss Anders game. And she is quite prepared to use her body to sweeten the deal, if it will get her what she wants. The next Bond girl is Britt Ekland as Mary Goodnight. Goodnight is the good girl in this movie, but she is also lumbered with some awkward comic relief moments. After George Martin had taken over the musical reigns for Live And Let Die, it was back to the maestro, John Barry for the score to The Man With The Golden Gun. It was Barry’s seventh score for a Bond movie, and it is lighter than previous scores, to suit Roger Moore’s lighter interpretation of Bond. But as always, it is good to have John Barry back in control, and in the chase sequences where he, once again, comes into his own with pounding rhythms and driving horns to underscore the action. The Man With The Golden Gun is one of the weaker Bond films. This is mainly due to the ending. The duel between Bond and Scaramanga works on paper, but not particularly well cinematically. And when the gunfight moves into Scaramanga’s funhouse, the ending becomes repetitive – because we have seen it in the pre-title sequence. It is also predictable – again the pre-title sequence enables you to guess what happens next. Labels: Character: James Bond, Stars: Christopher Lee, Stars: Roger Moore posted by David at 11:26 AM | 0 Comments | Links to this post |
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