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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Where The Spies Are

Year: 1965
Directed by Val Guest
David Niven, Francoise Dorleac, John Le Mesurier, Cyril Cusack, Eric Pohlmann, Nigel Davenport
Music by Mario Nascimbene
Based on the novel by James Leasor

Many years ago, I read one of James Leasor’s Jason Love Adventures. It was Passport To Suspense, and had the hero battling neo-Nazis in South America. It was a rattling good read and I have always intended to read a few more of Love’s adventures, but I haven’t gotten around to it. But I have finally got my steel claws on a copy of the film version of Passport To Oblivion – filmed as Where The Spies Are (thank you RRD). I must admit that in my minds eye, David Niven just doesn’t seem like Jason Love, but anyway let’s look at the film.

The film opens with titles by sixties design guru Robert Brownjohn. Brownjohn also did the titles for From Russia With Love and Goldfinger – he also did the album cover for The Rolling Stones Let It Bleed. Unfortunately these titles aren’t as visually compelling as some of his other work. It is essentially a burning piece of paper, but we are compensated by a groovy instrumental theme by composer Mario Nascimbene (featuring an organ solo by Jimmy Smith).

After the titles, the film opens in Moscow. A British defector is lecturing a group of KGB students on some of the more covert Western espionage secrets. As examples, projected on the screen behind him are British agents and enlargements of the weapons and gadgets that they use. One of these M.I.6 operatives is Peter Rosser and he is stationed in Beirut.

The film then cuts to Beirut and to Agent Rosser. We follow Rosser to the Hotel Al Cazar, where he is captured by enemy agents and ultimately killed.

Back in England, the head of M.I.6, Douglas MacGillivray (John Le Mesurier) needs a replacement for Rosser fast. It seems there’s more trouble brewing in the Middle East (that’s a new concept). As security has been broken, they can’t use their regular agents. They need a man from their ‘B’ list. For cover, they check a list of events happening in Beirut that week. There happens to be a malaria conference.

There is only one doctor on the ‘B’ list: Dr. Jason Love (David Niven). M.I.6 think he is the perfect candidate, but now they have to convince him to go. M.I.6’s preferred method of coercion is blackmail. Love’s one weakness is that he is a Cord enthusiast – Cord being a make of car. M.I.6 offer Love a rare model Cord, ‘the Baron’. Love grudgingly accepts and sent off on the mission.

Love travels via Rome, where he meets a fellow operative, Vikki (Francoise Dorleac). As he has a few hours to kill before his connecting flight to Beirut, he heads back to Vikki’s apartment for, er, refreshment. In the end he overstays his visit and misses his flight. This is a godsend for Love, because the plane blows up, just after take off.

Love finally makes it to Beirut, and his adventure really starts. One of the characters Love meets is Parkington played by Nigel Davenport. And for a short while he gives this production the ‘toughness’ it has been lacking. In fact, on the strength of his performance, I’d have liked to see him play Love rather than Niven.

The film works and fails on Niven as Love. Niven is such a likeable actor that he effortlessly carries this production. It’s his screen presence that makes this film watchable. At the same time he is possibly too charming –and too old. Love, although middle aged is a man of adventure. His passion for exotic sports cars and fast driving indicate that he is a man who enjoys an adrenalin rush. Whereas Niven (at his age) is a man of leisure, rather than adventure. You would expect to find him in a fine restaurant drinking a superior bottle of vintage wine, rather than in a sports car with his foot mashed down on the accelerator. Niven’s a great actor, but he was simply miscast in this role.

The film itself, doesn’t seem sure of whether it’s a comedy or a serious spy film, and the shifts in tone make it hard to sit back and settle into this movie. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed it, but I felt it could have been so much more. And maybe if they had got it right we would have seen more Jason Love films on the cinema screen.

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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Dr. Goldfoot And The Girl Bombs

Year: 1966
Directed by Mario Bava
Vincent Price, Fabian, Franco Franchi, Ciccio Ingrassia, Francesco Mulé, Laura Antonelli, Movana Tahi, George Wang
Music by Les Baxter

Programmed For Love And Destruction

Now this one is really hard to explain. In fact I needed it explained to me a few times before I really got it. Firstly in the United States, in 1965 there was a film called Dr. Goldfoot and The Bikini Machine, which starred Vincent Price as a villainous character called Dr. Goldfoot. In that film, Goldfoot made ‘girl-bots’ (it would be a few years until the term ‘fembot’ was coined) to seduce the world’s wealthiest men, and acquire their fortunes. Also in Italy, during 1965 a film was released called Due Mafiosi Contro Goldginger (AKA: Two Mafiosi Against Goldfinger), which starred Italian comedy duo, Franco Franchi and Ciccio Ingrassia.

Dr. Goldfoot And The Girl Bombs (1966) or Spie vengono dal semifreddo (The Spy Who Came In From The Semi-Cold) as it is known in Italy was made to be a sequel to both of them. Obviously, they were edited slightly differently to make the content more relevant to their specific audiences. I have never seen the Italian version, but I have been told that it is slightly better than the American version. But that couldn’t be hard as the American version is pretty terrible. Granted, the Goldfoot films were never intended to be more than cheesy light-hearted fair, but film lacks the one essential ingredient for all comedy films – namely comedy. This is the type of film that attempts to get laughs by speeding up the film and adding cartoon sound effects.

But I’ll be brave and soldier on. Seven NATO Generals are due to meet in Rome for a series of wargames. But before each of them arrives, each of them is sent one of Dr. Goldfoot’s Girl Bombs. The Girl Bombs are beautiful, life-like girl robots, but if you kiss them, they explode. And this is exactly what the NATO Generals do. Boom.

One assassination takes place at a hotel where Franco and Ciccio are working as doormen. When Goldfoot walks in, he is discreetly followed by Bill Dexter (Fabian). Dexter is an agent for the Security Intelligence Command (S.I.C.). Franco and Ciccio, for reasons known only to themselves, beat up Fabian, bind and gag him, and then drag him into the hotel’s bathroom. Meanwhile Goldfoot’s Girl Bomb explodes upstairs. Franco and Ciccio realise they have made a mistake and release Dexter, and follow him back to S.I.C. Headquarters. Here Franco and Ciccio get inducted into a spy recruit program.

Later, Colonel Benson (Francesco Mulé), the head of S.I.C. utilises the latest computer technology to select the two best operatives to investigate the deaths of the NATO Generals. Unbeknownst to Benson, Dr. Goldfoot is watching and listening to his every move. Goldfoot, crosses the wires in the computer, so rather than spitting out the names of the best agents, it gives the names of the worst, yep, Franco and Ciccio.

So now, Franco and Ciccio have to stop Goldfoot, whose plan involves impersonating the last NATO General, who he happens to be a dead ringer for. Buried under all this mess, there is a spy story. It’s a plot by the Chinese to take over the world. It’s the usual America and Russia destroy each other, leaving China as the dominant world power to take over. But having said that, if you’re a fan of spy movies, I wouldn’t go hunting for this one. Even if you’re a Mario Bava fan, I’d steer clear. This isn’t worth your time.

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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Never Say Never Again

Year: 1984
Directed by Irvin Kershner
Sean Connery, Kim Bassinger, Max Von Sydow, Barbara Carrera, Bernie Casey, Rowan Atkinson, Edward Fox as M, Alec McCowen as Algernon (Q Branch).
Music by Michel Legrand
Title Song performed by Lani Hall

James Bond is back! Never Say Never Again has a long tortuous production history which in itself could fill a book, and in fact has done so. For the definitive story on the making of Never Say Never Again and it's connection to Thunderball, you must obtain a copy of Robert Sellers book The Battle For Bond published by Tomahawk Press. It follows the saga from the late fifties through to 2006. Despite all the trials, tribulations and lawsuits, the end result is an ‘unofficial’ Bond movie with Sean Connery returning to the role that made him famous in the sixties.

The film is essentially a remake of Thunderball. The story concerns the evil crime organisation, S.P.E.CT.R.E., hijacking two nuclear warheads and blackmailing the western world for one hundred million dollars. Let’s have a closer look:

The film opens with James Bond storming a military complex in South America. A young lady is being held hostage and it is Bond’s mission to rescue her. Using guns, explosives and garotte wires, Bond eliminates the girls captors and enters the room where she is being held. He unties the ropes around her wrists and for his trouble, she reaches under the mattress, produces a knife and stabs Bond in the chest.

Hey, hang on! Where is the gunbarrel logo and the pre-title sequence? As this isn’t an official entry in the EON series, for copyright reasons, Never Say Never Again doesn’t have some of the familiar trapping that people associate with James Bond movies. Firstly, the famous gunbarrel logo at the start of the film – you know the one – where Bond walks onto the screen encircled by a bullets eye view of a gunbarrel – Bond turns and fires and a wash of blood covers the screen – well it’s gone. In it’s place are the numbers 007 repeated across the screen. And there is no pre-title sequence or cow-catcher as some people call it at the start. We are launched directly into the movie. Even Michel Legrand’s score, again for copyright reasons couldn’t use the James Bond theme. It is very different from other music in the series. Some of it is quite good; standouts include the Calypso sounds (including kettle drums) for Bond’s sojourn in the Bahamas, and the orchestral arrangement for the Tango sequence. But the title song, sung by Lani Hall is dreadful. And a small piece of trivia – the trumpet solo in the title song is by Herb Alpert who did the title tune to Casino Royale in 1967. So we are inside a movie that is very different to previous Bond films, and hard-core Bond fanatics may find it all rather disconcerting.

But back to the synopsis. Connery Bond had just been stabbed in the chest. Thankfully it is not for real. It is part of a series of wargames designed to assess the status of all M.I.6 operatives. But Bond’s death does not please his controller, M, this time played in a rather gruff manner by Edward Fox. Bond is sent to Shrublands health farm to loose a few pounds and get back into shape.

James Bond is not the only visitor to Shrublands. Other visitor’s include, Fatima Blush (Barabara Carrera), a killer for S.P.E.C.T.R.E. and Captain Jack Petachi (Gavan O'Herlihy). Petachi has had an operation on his eye, to make his retina identical to the President of the United States. Call me stupid, but where on earth can you find an image of the President’s retina, and secondly how can you replicate that pattern / image into the eyeball of another human being. Aside from that nonsense, Shublands happens to be conveniently close to a military base a base which in planning a training exercise with dummy nuclear warheads. Petachi’s mission is to go to the base, and using his fake eye as identification, change the dummy warheads, for live nukes. Bond realises something is afoot, but before he can act, he is attacked by Lippe, played by ex-wrestler Pat Roach. Petachi succeeds in switching the warheads, and S.P.E.C.T.R.E. get their hands on the nukes and hold the world for ransom. Soon after Bond is once again, called into service, and assigned to find the warheads.

Kim Bassinger, in an early role, plays Domino Petachi, Jack’s sister. Bond believes that if he gets close enough to her, he can find out about her brother and where the weapons are. Bassinger is certainly attractive enough, and while hardly being the worst Bond girl to ever grace the screen, she is a bit green in the acting stakes, and some of her scenes are quite awkward. However, she does have a few good scenes with Connery, particularly in a bath house, where Bond impersonates a masseuse, and on the dancefloor where they perform the tango.

Never Say Never Again’s underwater climax is slow moving and at times it is hard to tell who is good, and who is bad. It is the only true boring ending to any Bond film. It makes you long for the style of Terrence Young, and the ending to Thunderball.

The best thing about Never Say Never Again (apart from Connery) are the villains. The casting is generally very good. Max Von Sydow plays Blofeld, James Bond’s arch nemesis. Von Sydow is a stalwart of the genre (The Quiller Memorandum, 3 Days Of The Condor) and he adds a bit of weight to the role, although it is essentially a cameo.

The main villain is Maximillian Largo, played by Klaus Maria Brandauer. Largo is architect of S.P.E.C.T.R.E.’s plan to steal the nuclear warheads. Brandauer is a brilliant actor, and his slightly theatrical performance is a great contrast to Connery’s. Brandauer has the ability to change from totally charming (dare I say it - loveable rogue) to icy malevolence with a single gesture.

Last but certainly not least is Barbara Carrera’s over the top performance as Fatima Blush. Fatima is Largo’s number one assassin. She is deliciously wicked, outrageously dressed, and always very easy on the eye. She is the type of woman, who after seducing Bond (though, that isn’t difficult), sets a pack of Tiger Sharks onto him.

Other cast members include Bernie Casie as Bond’s old friend Felix Leiter, and Rowan Atkinson has a cameo in the movie as Nigel Smallfawcett, the companies ‘Man in the Bahamas’. The role is underwritten and not very funny.

If you are a fan of the Bond movies then you must watch this, if only to compare it to the official series, but be warned, despite the presence of Sean Connery, the movie is not very good.

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Thursday, May 15, 2008

Die Another Day

Year: 2002
Directed by Lee Tamahori
Pierce Brosnan, Halle Berry, Toby Stephens, Rosamund Pike, Rick Yune, Judi Dench as M, John Cleese as Q, and Samantha Bond as Moneypenny, Colin Salmon as Robinson.
Music by David Arnold
Title Song by Madonna
Based on characters created by Ian Fleming

Is Die Another Day the worst Bond film ever made? In a word, YES! That’s not to say it doesn’t have any good moments, like the sword fight sequence in Blades gentlemen’s club. The fight is one of the most muscular sword fight sequences ever filmed, and the equal to many of the classic fight scenes performed by the likes of Basil Rathbone (The Mark of Zorro), or Stewart Granger (Scaramouche) to name but two. But Die Another Day, as a whole, is a very patchy effort.

The film starts well enough with James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) impersonating a South African mercenary selling conflict diamonds to the North Koreans. Particularly to Colonel Moon (Will Yun Lee) and Zao (Rick Yune). (For those unaware, conflict diamonds originate from African nations controlled by forces in opposition to their legitimate and internationally recognised government (such as Angola or Sierra Leone). These diamonds are used to fund military action in opposition to those governments. On 1 December 2000, the United Nations General Assembly adopted, unanimously, a resolution which forbade the trade of rough diamonds originating in these areas, in the hope of breaking the link between the illicit trade in rough diamonds and armed conflict. The recent film Blood Diamond with Leonardo DiCaprio shows why this resolution was put in place.)

Unfortunately for Bond, before he can complete his mission, his cover is blown. He escapes in a hovercraft, hotly pursued by the North Korean Army in their own flotilla of hovercrafts.

Ultimately, Bond and Moon end up wrestling on top of the same driverless hovercraft as it rushes towards a waterfall. The craft goes over the falls with Moon, but Bond leaps off at the last moment. His reprieve is short lived as he is captured by the North Koreans.

Here, dear readers, is where the films goes off the rails. Firstly, Madonna’s theme song is rubbish. This is not just a case of Madonna bashing on my behalf. I thought her song, Beautiful Stranger for Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me was a great pop song, but Die Another Day is sub standard.

Next problem is the title sequence. Bond’s torture at the hands of his captures continues throughout the titles. Daniel Klein, who took over the Bond title sequences after the passing of Maurice Binder, has proven himself over the past three movies. Let him do his job!

Once the film resumes, eighteen months has passed and Bond is still a captive. He is far from the suave, impeccably dressed agent we are used to. He is gaunt; his hair is long a matted and an unkempt beard adorns his face. But his incarceration period is over as he is swapped in a prisoner exchange, for Zao, who is now horribly disfigured with a diamond encrusted head.

Back in safe hands, Bond is not trusted. There has been an information leak and Bond is the obvious suspect. He is to be interrogated and locked up. Before this can happen he escapes. Clothed in a soggy set of pyjamas and with his hair still matted and tangled he marches into the foyer of an exclusive Hotel in Hong Kong. Of course, all the guests are disgusted at his appearance, but unperturbed, Bond walks up to the front desk and asks for his usual suite.

Within moments, Bond is cleaned up and back in a Tuxedo. Not long after that, he is in Cuba, tracking down Zao, the man he was traded for in the prisoner exchange. Bond traces Zao to Los Organos, a gene altering, transformation clinic. It is here that Bond meets C.I.A. agent Jacinta Johnson, A.K.A. Jinx (Halle Berry). Both agents are working on the same case but from different ends. But does this mean that they would pool their resources and work together? Not on your life. After a quick interlude, they go their separate ways.

Bond catches up to Zao at the clinic, but Zao evades capture. But he does leave behind one clue. Diamonds. These diamonds are engraved with G.G. While Bond was in captivity a young entrepreneur, Gustav Graves (Toby Stephens), has started a diamond mine in Iceland and had struck it rich. Bond finds it suspicious, that Graves’ diamonds should have they same composition as African Conflict Diamonds. He decides to look into Graves operation more thoroughly.

Although Toby Stephens is a good actor, he was fantastic in Cambridge Spies, in this film his performance is particularly ‘hammy’. Admittedly, he got lumbered with some atrocious dialogue, and equally silly scenes to act out. He comes off as a rather petulant young pup. When compared to the Bond villains of the past, he simply isn’t a threat.

My two major gripes, of the many things that I didn’t like, were the editing and the sloppy CGI. Editor Christian Wagner has adopted an MTV style of editing where there is exaggerated speeding up and slowing down of the action to create a visual effect. But all this does is cause Bond to look less potent than he should. Rather than throwing a good hard punch, Bond’s actions are slowed down and stylised. It is almost visual castration.

And now onto the CGI. It was atrocious. If there is one thing us Bond fans have come to expect is that the stunts that are performed professionally and generally, where possible, actually in front of the camera. Think of Bond skiing of the cliff in The Spy Who Loved Me (and now think of it done with CGI – blah!) But in Die Another Day we are treated to some substandard effects as Bond rides a gigantic ice wave. I know it couldn’t be done in real life, but at least hire a team of professionals who can render this type of environment well. It looks like a video game.

I am not even going to talk about the invisible car! My thoughts on that are best not aired in public.

A quick word about the music: With the exception of Madonna’s title song, which I have already talked about, the Dave Arnold score is of a high standard. Particularly the Cuban rhythms which are not only infectious they creatively incorporate the James Bond Theme. Strangely, little of the Cuban music ends up on the Soundtrack CD. But my last gripe about the music used in Die Another Day is the inclusion of London Calling by The Clash as Bond returns to London. In any other film, I’d almost applaud the use of The Clash or Joe Strummer in a soundtrack but in a Bond film it is inappropriate.

After the success of this film, there was talk of a spinoff movie featuring Halle Berry as Jinx. Again it was to be directed by Lee Tamahori. It is rumoured that a script was prepared but he film never eventuated. Maybe we were lucky? Tamahori would later go on to destroy the xXx franchise.

Die Another Day was an unworthy swan song for Pierce Brosnan. Sure Brosnan will go on to make great films after his time as Bond, but I sort of feel, that his Bond films were wasted opportunities. He’s a good actor, and he had the charm and charisma to succeed as Bond, but unfortunately he got lumbered with some poor scripts, and crew members (Directors, Editors, and even Actors) who just weren’t up to the task. Thankfully for the Bond series, the producers went in a different direction for the next feature Casino Royale. Sure, it was sad to see Pierce go, but if the series was to survive, a new approach was needed. And thankfully we got it.

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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The Living Daylights

Year: 1987
Directed by John Glen
Timothy Dalton, Maryam d’Abo, Joe Don Baker, Art Malik, John Rhys-Davies, Jeroen Krabbé, Desmond Llewelyn, Robert Brown, Caroline Bliss
Music by John Barry
Title song performed by a-ha
Based on a short story by Ian Fleming

I must sound like a parrot when I say ‘this Bond film had a troubled production history’. I start each Bond review with that sentence. It seems that putting together a new Bond film is not an easy task, and each production presents a new series of pitfalls. On this occasion, the drama related to the casting of James Bond.

After A View To A Kill, Roger Moore finally said goodbye to the character of James Bond. Over his tenure, many actors had been suggested as his successor. They included: Lewis Collins, Ian Ogilvy, Sam Neill and James Brolin. But most of them had faded away by 1987, and there only seemed to be one real contender, Pierce Brosnan. And indeed, Brosnan was cast as Bond. Brosnan had just finished work on the cancelled Remmington Steele television series. But he was still under contract for that show. The publicity that Brosnan received from being cast as Bond, focused the public’s attention back on Remmington Steele. At the last moment, the producers of Remmington Steele changed their minds and decided to make another series. As Brosnan was contracted, he was obliged to do the series. But, and here’s the kicker, by being seconded back to Remmington Steele, Brosnan was no longer free to accept the role of James Bond.

Enter Timothy Dalton. After the pre-title sequence, the film opens in Bratislava in Czechoslovakia. Bond is assigned to aid in the defection of top KGB agent General Yorgi Koskov (Jeroen Krabbé) to the West. When Saunders (M.I.6's man in this part of the world) makes a balls-up of the operation, 007 takes over, and smuggles Koskov out in a specially designed carriage that travels through the gas pipelines. Those of you who have watched Sol Madrid with David McCallum will have seen this device before.

Anyway, 007 gets Koskov out of Czechoslovakia and to the UK. There Koskov explains his reason for defecting. He states that General Pushkin (John Rhys-Davies), Koskov's superior, has to all intents and purposes gone mad. He has initiated a plan called "Smiert Spionen", which translates as ‘death to spies’. Pushkin intends to kill all the British agents operating in his area. On hearing Koskov's information, M.I.6 assign 007 to investigate and, if necessary, assassinate General Pushkin. But two things interfere with Bond completing his mission. The first is that Koskov, although protected by M.I.6 in a safehouse, is kidnapped back by the Russians. The second problem occurs, when Agent Saunders (Thomas Wheatley) is killed in Vienna. Whatever Koskov or Pushkin’s stories maybe, there is definitely someone out there who is targeting the best agents the UK has to offer.

It is up to 007 to unravel the mystery. Along the way, Bond ingratiates himself with Kara Milovy (Maryam d’Abo), a brilliant cellist, who just happened to be Yorgi Koskov’s girlfriend. By staying close to her, he believes it will bring him back in contact with Koskov and closer to the truth. Bond’s journey takes him from Czechoslovakia to Vienna, and afterwards to Morocco. The last destination is Afghanistan, and this brings Bond into contact with the Afghanistan Freedom Fighters, headed by Kamran Shah (Art Malik).

Maryam d’Abo plays Kara Milovy, the main Bond girl in the film. The character, despite being a world renown cello player, isn’t the brightest spark. In fact she is rather gullible and naïve. But d’Abo plays the role rather well, and is convincing. Alas, she does get lumbered with the worst women’s fashions to ever appear in a Bond film.

The Living Daylights is the last Bond film that John Barry composed the score to. Rumour has it, that he didn’t get along well with Norwegian pop group a-ha, who performed the title song. The song itself seems a bit of a rehash, of Duran Duran’s title song for A View To A Kill. Two other songs appear on the soundtrack, performed by The Pretenders. They are: ‘Where Has Everybody Gone’ and ‘If There Was A Man’. Both songs have the Bond sound. The score itself is a bit of a departure for Barry. It features a thin sounding drum machine to underscore the action. I must admit, I find it a little bit disconcerting in places, and is makes the score seem artificial rather than orchestral. But generally the score is pretty good.

When The Living Daylights was released, it was marketed as ‘safe sex Bond’. The A.I.D.S. Epidemic had just been swept to the public’s attention in a particularly scary fashion. People’s attitudes and lifestyles were being forced to change. No longer socially acceptable was casual sex with multiple partners. Monogamy was the order of the day. With these prevailing attitudes, Bond was given only one Bond girl (or so the marketeers told us – in fact he has two – one in the pre-title sequence, and Kara Milovy). It was considered socially irresponsible, for Bond to have multiple partners throughout the film.

Despite the machinations of the marketing gurus, The Living Daylights is still very much a Bond film. In fact, I’d say that the first two thirds of The Living Daylights are some of the best Bond story and and acting we have seen. Mostly due to Dalton’s performance, The Living Daylights is an emotional experience. By the time the films reaches Saunders death at the fairground, the film is positively bursting with tension. Sadly, the last third of the film is lumbered with some uninspired action scenes set in Afghanistan. As it’s a Bond film, the sequences are put together professionally, but on this occasion they seem rather cold and fail to engage the viewer.

Even Joe Don Baker and Jeroen Krabbé as villains, don’t provide any real threat. In fact both men come off as ‘jokes’. It really is a shame that the film couldn’t keep up the style and substance set up at the beginning – otherwise I’d be championing this film as one of the best of the series. Instead it gets pulled back in line with the rest of the pack.

I get frustrated with The Living Daylights. I see so much potential. But the ending kills it. Even a film that is boring at the start and then has a ‘kick-ass’ ending is generally enjoyed by the public. They walk out of the cinema on a high. They don’t remember the dirge at the start. This film works the other way. It starts brilliantly than leaves us on a low.

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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

A View To A Kill

Year: 1985
Directed by John Glen
Roger Moore, Christopher Walken, Tanya Roberts, Patrick MacNee, Robert Brown, Lois Maxwell
Music by John Barry
Title song performed by Duran Duran

A View To A Kill was the fourteenth official James Bond movie, and the seventh (and last) film to feature Roger Moore as agent 007. Quite frankly, Moore was too old for the role by this time. He knew it and the producers knew it, but there was no logical successor at the time. The producers had considered casting American actor James Brolin in the role before filming began on Octopussy (the preceding movie in the series) but decided against it. Footage of Brolin’s screen tests can be seen on the recent MGM/UA 2 disk DVD of Octopussy. Octopussy ended up being one of Moore’s better films, which is probably why the producers stuck with Moore again. But for A View To A Kill, the team went to the well one time too many. Let’s look at why A View To A Kill doesn’t work:

The casting, with the exception of Patrick Macnee, is uniformly weak. I have already mentioned Moore’s age. He is really showing it here. Miss Moneypenny (Lois Maxwell), after 23 years of service, she appeared in Dr. No in 1962, is looking slightly out of place too. But you can almost forgive the aging Bond family regulars because they are faces you have grown to love. The major casting blunders are the female leads. Tanya Roberts as Stacey Sutton is so vacuous she barely registers as a human being. She spends most of the film shrieking and squealing. Often in Bond criticism, the Bond girls are given short shrift by the media. Most of the time, I think this is unfounded. Most of the female characters are intelligent and capable women who happen to be rather attractive. Not just mere window dressing. Many are equals to Bond. But Robert’s character comes off as a dumb blonde. He acting is so stilted, she destroys any dramatic scene in which she appears. Just don’t let her speak. She is the reason for any negative Bond girl criticism.

Similarly Grace Jones is rather wooden as Mayday. Her delivery of lines is very forced, but thankfully she doesn’t have many to deliver. She is very eye catching though, and certainly has a presence on the screen.

Next we come to Christopher Walken. Walken is an actor I really appreciate. I can sit through most of his B-grade movies and smile due to his performances. But here, he is simply miscast. Not that he gives a bad performance here; far from it. He does ‘psychopath’ very well. But his character is supposed to be an Anglo-French multi-millionaire industrialist, who was born in Germany. So the character is very European. Yet Walken is so New York. He doesn’t belong in a French chateau, or at Ascot in a top hat and tails.

As I briefly mentioned earlier, the one successful bit of casting is Patrick Macnee. The fact that Moore and Macnee were friends from their early television days, and appeared together in the movie The Sea Wolves, may count for the chemistry between them. But despite this (or maybe because), Macnee has an understated grace that makes it seem like he belongs in these opulent surroundings. And acting wise, his is the only character to have any emotional impact in the film.

The next weak element of the film is the script. Admittedly the writers have tried something new. Rather than a megalomaniac for a villain, they have a Max Zorin (Walken’s character) played as a psychopath. Interesting idea on paper, but on screen it doesn’t work. For example, when Zorin kills all his henchmen in a gleeful psychotic display, it leaves him isolated and alone (well practically) against Bond in the final showdown. And let’s remember that Bond has taken on armies in volcanoes, on oil rigs, and on space stations. No matter how creative the backdrop (atop the Golden Gate Bridge, no less), Bond is essentially going up against one man – it’s not impossible odds. And really with the way the plot has unfolded, Bond, with a little help from Mayday, has already saved the day The only reason to go after Zorin is to rescue Stacey Sutton, and you already know my opinion of that character. Do you think I care? The way the whole denouement unfolds is clumsily written.

The story is a fairly simple one. Wealthy industrialist, Max Zorin own’s a company that makes microchips. Unfortunately for Zorin, most of the world’s microchips are made in Silicon Valley in the USA. Zorin (I have already mentioned that he is psychotic), plans to cause an Earthquake, unlocking the San Andreas and Haywood faults. That will cause the destuction of Silicon Valley, which will simply disappear into the sea. His company will then have a worldwide monopoly. Naturally James Bond has to stop him.

To the music now: When the film came out in 1985, Duran Duran’s theme song was a massive hit, even though it sounds a little dated today. The theme ties in nicely with John Barry’s score, which is one of the more evocative one he has composed for the series. I am particularly fond of the music when Bond carries Sutton down a fire truck ladder to safety, while the San Francisco City Hall burns behind them. The music is rousing and heroic, combing the ‘dance into the fire’ motif from the title song with the ‘Bond sound’. The score is universally good except for one minor quibble. During the pre-title sequence, Bond uses a ski from a snow mobile as a snowboard. As he glides down an embankment of snow and across a small pond, instead of the John Barry score, which has been working a treat through the previous action, we are slapped in the face with an annoying cover version of The Beach Boys ‘California Girls’. It is simply not necessary, and it is certainly not funny!

While I do not believe A View To A Kill is quite as bad as Die Another Day, it is one of the weaker entries in the series. It is an unworthy swan song for Roger Moore, who despite a recent dip in popularity is truly one of the great Bond actors. He brought a great deal of enjoyment to many people, and most of all he filled the shoes of Sean Connery.

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Monday, May 12, 2008

Octopussy

Directed by John Glen
Roger Moore, Maud Adams, Louis Jordan, Kabir Bedi, Kristina Wayborn, Steven Berkoff, Vijay Amritraj, Robert Brown as M, Desmond Llewelyn as Q, and Lois Maxwell as Monneypenny
Music by John Barry
‘All Time High’ performed by Rita Coolidge
Based on a short story by Ian Fleming

Christmas 1983 was a tense time for Bond fans. Octopussy was released starring Roger Moore as Agent 007, and soon to be released was Never Say Never Again, an independent film starring Sean Connery as Bond. Now with James Bond, there is no fence sitting. You are either a ‘Moore’ man, or a ‘Connery’ man. Fans had to decide. In the end, they voted for Moore. Octopussy was a huge success. But it wasn’t just Moore’s charm that won over the crowds. Octopussy, in every way was a superior film to the clunky, and trouble plagued Never Say Never Again.

The pre-title sequence takes place in South America. Agent 007, James Bond is sent to destroy a military installation. During the mission he is caught. He is bundled into a jeep with two armed guards and driven off to be interrogated and tortured (Actually they don’t tell us where they are taking Bond. I just guess it’s to be interrogated and tortured – after all, they are the ‘bad guys’.) Bond’s leggy assistant, in this un-named South American country is Bianca (Tina Hudson). She is following the vehicle transporting Bond to his doom. She is driving an open four-wheel-drive towing a horse float. As she pulls her 4WD alongside, she hitches up her dress exposing a generous amount of flesh. Bond’s guard’s attention diverts to the beautiful brunette, and Bond takes the opportunity to escape from custody. He leaps into the 4WD, snatching a machine gun on the way. As they drive past, Bond disables the jeep. It appears that Bond and Bianca are in the clear, but not so. A fleet of military vehicles give chase. At this point, Bond and Bianca pull over to the side of the road. Bond unclips the horse float, lightening the load so Bianca can speed of to safety. But Bond stays put. With reason. The float isn’t quite what it appears.

Rather than a horse, it actually houses a Acrostar jet - a really tiny, one man jet, with wings that fold up. Bond speeds off in the jet and it looks like he can easily fly across the border to safety. But that would have been too easy. The bad guys fire a heat seeking missile at Bond’s jet and a wild chase takes place in the sky overhead. Bond leads the heat seeking missile back the military installation he was sent to destroy and flies his miniature jet into a hanger. Naturally the missile follows. Bond flies out of the other end. But the missile detonates, sending the complex up in a ball of orange flame.

Like so many Bond, pre-title sequences, this one has nothing to do with the main story. It is simply a mini-movie before the main story takes place. As is Bond tradition, we are then treated to the main title sequence. The visuals are once again provided by Maurice Binder, and John Barry is back on soundtrack duties, after Bill Conti had scored the last movie. The title song, ‘All Time High’ is sung by Rita Coolidge. It is not one of my favourite Bond tunes, but I have a few friends who rate the song very highly. I seem to be the exception, so, I guess it is another successful opening to a Bond picture.

When we return, we get into the movie proper. We are in East Germany, and a clown is being chased through a forest by a set of twins, who happened to be expert knife throwers. The clown happens to be agent 009. Eventually the twins catch up to 009 as he tries to cross a river. One of the twins, accurately throws a blade and 009 falls into the river and drifts off dead. Or so we think. Most Double ‘O’s are pretty resilient, and 009 is no exception. Down river, he pulls himself from the water and makes his way to the British Ambassador’s residence, where he gate crashes a party and drops dead on the floor. From his lifeless hand, rolls a Fabergé egg.

For those not familiar with ‘what’ a Fabergé egg is; a Fabergé egg is any one of fifty Easter eggs (or fifty-two if you count the two that weren’t finished) made by Peter Carl Fabergé for the Russian Czars. The eggs were made between 1885 and 1917 and each is decorated with enamel and gem stones. In short they are decorative, jewelled eggs.

As you can imagine, Fabergé eggs are very valuable and not easy to come by. The movie moves back to London and to M’s office. This time M is played by Robert Brown, who had taken over from Bernard Lee who had died a few years previous. It is never mentioned whether Brown’s character is the same one as played by Lee, or if he is the ‘new’ head of MI6. Coincidentally, Brown played Admiral Hargraves in The Spy Who Loved Me, and a part of me likes to think that he is the same character. After all, Lee’s M, Sir Miles Messervy was a nautical man (or the prints on the wall of M’s office, indicate he has an affinity with the sea). And James Bond himself was/is a Commander in the British Navy. So it makes sense that the ‘new’ M would come from the same stock. A Navy man!

But I digress. M is briefing Bond on his new mission. It appears that a Fabergé egg identical to the one recovered by 009 is being auctioned at Southerby’s in the afternoon. Obviously one is a fake and something is not above board. Bond is to attend the auction in an attempt to spot the seller. This is where the mission starts and this is where I leave the synopsis. Bond’s mission takes him to India, and then to East Germany and the dubious jewellery items are only the tip of the tentacle.

But who and what is Octopussy? Ian Fleming’s short story, Octopussy, concerned Major Dexter Smythe, a military man who had absconded with a shipment of Gold and set up a nice little life for himself in Jamaica. Bond’s mission is to kill him. The film has nothing to do with that short story. But the character Octopussy (Maude Adams), is the daughter of Dexter Smythe. In the film she lives on her own island in India, completely surrounded by women. She has built her fortune as a smuggler, and has also set up a circus, the ‘Octopussy Circus’ which travels from country to country. The circus acts as a cover for her smuggling activities. Maude Adams is quite good as the title character, but for fans of the series, who value continuity, Adams had appeared previously in The Man With The Golden Gun as Andrea Anders. It may have been good to see a fresh face in the role.

As always, Bond has a group of friends who help him through the mission. His allies include tennis player Vijay Amitraj, who plays a character called (funnily enough) Vijay. Vijay has a memorable scene, where I fights off some attackers with a tennis racquet. Also from Station I in India, is Sadruddin (Albert Moses). Debatable because her loyalties change, but Magda (Kristina Wayborn) is also one of Bond’s allies. At the climax of the film, she leads the performers of Octopussy’s Circus in a deadly assault upon Kamal Khan’s Monsoon Palace. And even old ‘Q’, Desmond Llewelyn gets into the action in this film, piloting a balloon at the climax of the film.

Along the way, Bond encounters the usual amount of villains and thugs. This time he goes up against an exiled Afghan Prince, Kamal Khan (Louis Jordan), a power crazy Russian, General Orlov (Steven Berkoff), and an impossibly strong henchman, Gobinda (Kabir Bedi). Bond also has to contend with the knife wielding twins (David and Anthony Meyers). But as always, Bond comes out on top.

Louis Jordan as Kamal Khan is the last of the great sophisticated Bond villains. These days, the Bond villains tend to be physical equals of Bond, or psychopaths. But the early villains, like Dr. No or Goldfinger were cultured refined gentlemen. These days Bond is pitted against younger men who have power but no class – such as Alec Trevallyn or Gustav Graves. But Jordan is old school, and he is great. Particularly memorable is the scene where Bond and Khan are dining in the villain’s palace, and Khan outlines how he is going to extract information from Bond (Sodium Pentothal and Curare).

No discussion about a Bond film can be complete without a look at the gadgets (love em, or hate em) on display. In my synopsis I have mentioned the Acrostar miniature jet, but there are a few other gadgets on display throughout the film. During the mission, Bond uses a pen with acid cartridge inside. Confined to quarters, he uses this to cut through the metals bars protecting the window. Silliest gadget of them all, is a submersible Alligator, which Bond uses to escape from Octopussy’s private island. Not all of the gadgets belong to Bond, though. A henchman wields quite a lethal Yo-Yo Saw, which functions as a normal yo-yo does, the difference being that the sides are circular saw blades. Quite dangerous, and quite imaginative.

On the new Ultimate Edition DVD, there is some interesting test footage of American actor James Brolin preparing to take over the role of James Bond from Roger Moore. While I am hardly in a position to speculate about this (if you’re interested watch the DVD), I am glad common sense prevailed and the role of Bond didn’t go to an American. Bond is quintessentially British. And Roger Moore, even though he is possibly too old for the role, gives one of his better performances in one of the better Bond movies. Number 13 is an unlucky number for many people, but not so the Bond franchise. Octopussy the 13th film in the series was a resounding success. Not only was it a good film, it did well at the box office, and even had the strength to stand toe to toe with Connery and win.

For trivia fans, Ingrid Pitt is the voice of the Galley Mistress - “In – Out – In – Out!”

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Friday, May 9, 2008

Moonraker

Year: 1979
Directed by Lewis Gilbert
Roger Moore, Richard Kiel, Lois Chiles, Michael Lonsdale, Corrine Clery, Geoffrey Keen, Walter Gotell, Bernard Lee as M, Desmond Llewellyn as Q, and Lois Maxwell as Moneypenny
Music by John Barry
Title song performed by Shirley Bassey
Very loosely based on the novel by Ian Fleming

Moonraker gets a lot of crap heaped upon it for being the worst Bond film. But in all honesty, for much of it’s running time it is quite good. It only drifts off course towards the end with a rather silly, Star Wars inspired space story. Another weakness is the plot itself – actually it’s not weak, simply it is the same story as the previous (and rather successful) film, The Spy Who Loved Me. The difference being that the Ocean and Ships, have been changed to Outer Space and Space Shuttles. It must also be noted, that The Spy Who Loved Me was in fact, very similar to You Only Live Twice. So the plot wasn’t weak; it was simply a matter of the film-makers going to the well one too many times.

The movie opens with a space shuttle being piggy-backed on a 747 jet liner. The shuttle engines fire up unexpectedly and the shuttle takes off. The blast from the shuttles rockets incinerate the jet which plummets to the ground. The shuttle disappears.

On another, smaller plane James Bond (Roger Moore) is being held at gunpoint. The two pilots are going to shoot Bond, bail out, leaving Bond’s remains to crash with the plane. After a struggle, Bond forces the two pilots out of the planes hatch, without being pierced with a bullet. He thinks he is in the clear and may be able to land the plane. But as he stands at the hatch, he is pushed out sans parachute by a set of large hands. These hands belong to Jaws (Richard Kiel), the seven foot tall evil minion who survived at the end of the last movie.
Bond is freefalling without a parachute, when he spies one of the pilots he forced out of the plane earlier. Using the air currents, he glides from above towards his quarry, then wrestles the parachute off the pilots back.

Back safely on the ground, and back at M.I.6 headquarters, ‘M’ (Bernard Lee in his last appearance in the series) and the Minister Of Defence, Frederick Grey (Geoffrey Keen), brief Bond on his new mission. He is to investigate the disappearance of the Moonraker space shuttle. He is sent to California and to the estate of Sir Hugo Drax, the multimillionaire who’s company manufactures the space shuttles for NASA.

Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale) is a Frenchman, who now lives a very opulent life in America. And he is also obsessed with space. So much so, that he wants to kill practically everybody on the planet, and repopulate it with his own hand-picked, perfect human specimens which will live on an orbiting space station that revolves around the earth. Yeah, I told you the story was kinda silly!

The main Bond girl in this film is Doctor Holly Goodhead, played by Lois Chiles. Goodhead is a strange character, because she isn’t really sure who she is. On on hand, she is Bond’s equal, working for the C.I.A. and is a qualified Shuttle pilot. She can handle herself in a fist fight too. So we have one of the first truly equal Bond girls. She doesn’t scream all the time, and barely has to be rescued by Bond. But this equality and independence create a void where ‘romance’ should have been. The relationship between Bond and Goodhead is one of the coldest in the Bond series (for a leading lady, that is). That’s not to put down Lois Chiles’ acting performance – I think the written character wasn’t fully developed.

As always, Bond has a few gadgets to rescue him from dangerous situations. The first is a dart gun, that gets strapped to 007’s wrist. In comes in handy when Bond is trapped inside a G-Force simulator that is spinning wildly out of control. The second, and silliest of the Bond gadgets is a Gondola (or ‘Bondola’ if you will), which Bond uses on the canals of Venice. The Gondola can turn into a hovercraft. Err, yeah! The best is the speedboat, which Bond cruises down the Amazon river in. It features torpedoes, mines and a hang-glider which separates from the roof of the boat.

The music is by the maestro, John Barry, which by his high standards is rather ineffectual. The musical highlights are revisions of The Space March Theme from You Only Live Twice, and the 007 Theme from From Russia With Love. Even the title song, Moonraker, performed by Shirley Bassey is rather subdued. That’s not to say the music is bad. Generally it works, but doesn’t have the drive or isn’t as ‘brassy’ as previous musical scores for the Bond series.

As I said at the outset, Moonraker cops a caning for being the worst Bond film. I personally believe that Die Another Day is an inferior film. There’s a lot to like in Moonraker. There’s a classic scene at a pheasant shoot, which involves some poor marksmanship from 007; and plenty of boats chases, as mentioned above in the paragraph about gadgets; and even a cable car chase. All this adds up to a fairly entertaining Bond adventure, if somewhat marred by the film-makers desire to compete with the Star Wars franchise. And as a final word, it must be pointed out, whether you believe Moonraker is a good or bad film, that until the arrival of Pierce Brosnan (the Billion Dollar Bond), in unadjusted dollars this film was the most successful (profitable) Bond film, so someone must have liked it?

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Thursday, May 8, 2008

The Spy Who Loved Me

Year: 1977
Directed by Lewis Gilbert
Roger Moore, Curt Jurgens, Barabara Bach, Richard Kiel, Caroline Munro, Bernard Lee, Walter Gotell, Desmond Llewelyn, Geoffrey Keen
Music by Marvin Hamlisch
Title Song, “Nobody Does It Better”, performed by Carly Simon

The Spy Who Loved Me is the first James Bond film I saw at the movies. In the town where I grew up we didn’t have a cinema, it was an old fashioned drive-in, and I organised with my friends to go with their families on different nights. This was my Star Wars. This is the film I went and watched again and again.

The Spy Who Loved Me is undoubtedly Roger Moore’s best appearance as James Bond. He seems less wooden than his first two appearances, and while some of his latter appearances were quite good, towards the end he was clearly too old for the role. The movie itself is fast, action packed and ferociously funny. If it has a weakness, it is that it was too successful. Many of the ideas and stunts used in the film have been recycled so many times (even by the Bond series), that a newcomer to this 30+ year old film may find themselves with a case of deja-vu. But remember, The Spy Who Loved Me did it all first with a great deal of flair and polish.

The story concerns James Bond’s efforts to thwart a madman with webbed fingers, Carl Stromberg (Curt Jurgens) from starting World War III. Stromberg hijacks two nuclear submarines, one American, the other belonging to the U.S.S.R., and replaces the crews with his own men who have orders to fire nuclear missiles at opposing cities in America and Russia. He hopes the reprisals from the Superpowers will destroy civilisation, leaving him to rule the world from his city beneath the sea. World Domination! Yeah, sure it’s corny, but it is good fun. Apart from planning to start World War III, Stromberg also feeds a female assistant to the sharks.

The girls in The Spy Who Loved Me are stunning. Barbara Bach plays Major Amassova – Agent XXX. She was so impressive, that she was snapped up by Ringo Starr. I guess that’s what being a Beatle can help you do – the one thing that all guys would like to do – and that is marry a Bond girl. Lucky guy. Another eye catcher in the film is Caroline Munro as Naomi. She doesn’t get to say much, but with a wink, she says a thousand words.

Richard Kiel plays Jaws, the menacing physical heavy of the piece, who is seven feet tall, has steel teeth and is virtually indestructible. Jaws was so popular, his character returned in the next James Bond movie, Moonraker. Kiel, in his book Richard Kiel – Making It Big In The Movies – Reynolds & Hearn Ltd 2002, had this to say:

“He (Cubby Broccoli) also told me that they had already considered David Prowse, and, seeing that this didn’t register with me, he explained that David Prowse was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in the Star Wars film, then being produced in England. My excitement at the possibility of being in a Bond movie began to dim slightly; it didn’t take much of an actor to be in a head-to-toe suit, especially when James Earl Jones was saying all the words.”

“I had no idea of whether I would live or die, or how the audience would take to the ‘Jaws’ character.”


The film features quite a few little gadgets, but the one that steals the show is the Lotus Espirit. Bond is involved in another car chase and simply drives his vehicle off the end of a pier and it turns into a submarine. The car was such a sensation that it toured the world. I remember nagging my parents to take me to the Melbourne Car Show so I could see the car. My parents gave in and we went to the car show – which was only a four hour drive from where I lived. After seeing the car on the BIG screen it seemed so small. But I was a happy boy.

John Barry wasn’t available to do the score to The Spy Who Loved Me, so the duty fell to Marvin Hamlisch, who’s Bee Gees inspired score is quite good in a seventies disco-funk kind of way. The incidental music in the Mojave Club and at the Pyramids is quite effective too, with a contemporary sound fused with more traditional middle eastern sounds. The theme song, Nobody Does It Better, sung by Carly Simon is one of the more successful songs in the series and was a massive hit.

As you would have noticed, The Spy Who Loved Me occupies a special place in my heart. You can say what you like about Moore versus Connery, or the decline of the Bond films in the seventies. You can even take me to task over the cheesy musical references to Dr. Zhivago and Lawrence Of Arabia – to me it doesn’t matter, The Spy Who Loved Me is one of my favourite films of all time.

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Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Live And Let Die

Year: 1973
Directed by Guy Hamilton
Roger Moore, Jane Seymour, David Hedison, Gloria Hendry, Yaphet Kotto, Clifton James, Julius W. Harris, Geoffrey Holder, Earl Jolly Brown, Madeline Smith, Bernard Lee as M, and Lois Maxwell as Moneypenny
Music by George Martin
Title song by Paul McCartney and Wings
Based loosely on the novel by Ian Fleming

After the failure of George Lazenby to win over the public in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, the producers went running back to Sean Connery to put bums on seats. The ploy worked and Diamonds Are Forever was a success. But Connery agreed to one film only. So that left the producers with the dilemma of finding a new James Bond. Enter Roger Moore.

Moore already had a strong fan base from the television shows The Saint and The Persuaders. But like all actors who take on the role of 007, he had to overcome the long shadow of Connery. And even for Moore this wasn’t as easy as he had hoped.

While making Live And Let Die, Roger Moore wrote a diary which was published as Roger Moore as James Bond (Pan Books 1973). Here he talks about his son’s response to his casting as James Bond.

The children arrive tomorrow and I wonder if Geoffrey will realize I am Bond when he sees me in action. Just before we left England he asked:

“Can you beat anybody, including a robber?”
“Oh yes,’ I replied confidently.
“Supposing James Bond came in,’ he persisted.
“Daddy is going to play James Bond,’ I explained.
“I know that,’ he sighed impatiently. ‘I mean the real James Bond, Sean Connery.”


I suppose if your son has trouble accepting you in the role, you’re in for a rough old time. But in all fairness, Roger Moore acquits himself rather well. His popularity in the 70’s and 80’s is testament to that.

That’s enough background information. Let’s move onto the story. The pre-tile sequence: The film opens at the United Nations building in New York. An M.I.6 agent is watching the assembly and in particular Doctor Kananga, the President of the Caribbean island of San Monique. The agent’s translation headset is cranked up to full volume. He falls to the floor dead.

Next we cut to New Orleans. Another M.I.6 agent, on loan to the Americans is staking out the ‘Fillet Of Soul’ restaurant as a funeral procession ambles past. As the coffin passes the agent’s location, he is stabbed and picked up off the road through a false bottom in the coffin.

And lastly the film cuts to San Monique, where a voodoo ritual is being carried out. A man (naturally enough, an M.I.6 agent) is tied between two poles. As he struggles helplessly an orgy of black dancers writhe and sway in front of him, while primitive drums are pounded, getting quicker as the tension rises. The lead dancer produces a venomous snake and presses it against the jugular vein of the agent. The snake bites, and the agent slumps forward, dead.

Maurice Binder’s stylised title graphics roll accompanied by Paul McCartney and Wings belting out the theme song. It may not be in the classic Bond style, but the theme song is a good one. In fact the music by George Martin is of a high standard, generally. It has a hint of seventies funk to it, but since the film is clearly influenced by the blaxploitation films the were popular at the time (Shaft, Foxy Brown, etc...), the musical cues seem appropriate. And I am pleased to say it hasn’t dated too badly, like some of the other Bond soundtracks.

After the musical interlude we meet James Bond (Roger Moore) at his apartment. Even though it is early morning, Bond is not asleep. Ever the professional, he is, er...debriefing an attractive Italian agent, Miss Caruso (Madeline Smith). Bond’s work is interrupted by the arrival of M (Bernard Lee) and Miss Moneypenny (Lois Maxwell) who brief Bond on his next assignment. This is an unusual scene, in that it is one of the few times we get to see Bond’s apartment, and secondly, because Bond is briefed away from the office. This ‘in the field briefing’ is an element that would become more prevalent in the Bond series. I’d guess this is to do with the pacing of the movies. Setting up Bond’s mission in ‘M’s office and then sending him off takes time. But briefing Bond in the field propels the story on more quickly. Anyway, Bond is sent to New York City, where the first agent was killed and also where Dr. Kananga (Yaphett Kotto), the President of San Monique (where the third agent was killed) is currently speaking at the UN.

As Bond arrives in New York an attempt is made on his life. With a bit of help from his old pal, CIA agent, Felix Leiter (this time played by David Heddison), Bond tracks down the the man who tried to kill him. The man’s name is Whisper (Earl Jolly Brown), and he is a minion of a Mr. Big, a big time gangster who runs a chain of ‘Fillet Of Soul’ restaurants. Ah, you may recall that the second agent in the pre-title sequence was killed watching a ‘Fillet Of Soul’ restaurant. All the pieces are slowly fitting into place.

As it is an Bond film, of course it features a bevy of beauties to tease and torment our hero. I have already mentioned Miss Caruso, played by Madeline Smith. The Caruso character is almost a throwaway at the start. I guess she is there simply to say that we may have a ‘new’ Bond, but he is still a womaniser.

The main female lead is Jane Seymour, who plays Solitaire. Solitaire is a voodoo priestess who can divine the future from a deck of tarot cards. The only problem for Solitaire is that for her ‘powers’ to work, she has to remain a virgin, and with Bond on the scene, well...she isn’t going to stay that way for long. I think that Seymour is one of the better Bond girls. Even though the way Bond and Solitaire fall in love is incredibly unbelievable, she ‘sells’ the character’s innocence. You can actually believe that she has fallen for Bond. It’s not surprising that she is one of the few Bond girls who’s career has actually grown from Bond, rather than gradually diminish.

The next Bond girl is Rosie Carver, played by Playboy Bunny Gloria Hendry. Carver is a CIA agent who helps Bond once he arrives on the Island of San Monique. Hendry is quite okay in the lighter more humorous scenes with Moore, but in the dramatic scenes he lack of acting experience shows.

There is an element of the fish out of water story in Live And Let Die. In most Bond films there is; as Bond is a rather stiff, refined English gentleman. The series has often delighted at dropping Bond into different cultures to explore the glaring differences. But in Live And Let Die, this idea is pushed to the limit. Bond is dropped into Harlem – seventies style. The clothes are candy coloured; the flares are wide; and the hats are extremely wide brimmed. This has gone past sixties counter culture. These clothes are not urban hippy wear. These clothes are ‘style’. And Bond is about style too. But while each partly is well dressed and immaculately groomed, sartorially they are a million miles away.

One of the elements in Live And Let Die that always seemed slightly awkward to me is the ending, starting with the descent into Kananga’s underground lair. Syd Cain’s set is impressive, although not quite as imaginative as some of Ken Adams sets, but as far as underground lairs go, this is pretty good. But it is deserted. Kananga appears to have about four guys working for him. There is all this space, and a mini railway of sorts, but there’s no sense of power or control which comes from a mass of humanity being lead by one unmistakeable leader. There’s no army of minions or underlings for Bond to deal with on his way to the final confrontation with Kananga. Sure there’s Whisper, but he’s hardly threatening. Compared to the ending of previous Bond films, there’s a mood of casual insignificance, rather than imminent catastrophe.

Similarly, another element that seems strangely missing is the ‘branding’ of Kananga. This is not intended as a comment on consumerism or global marketing (although I am sure that a few valid points could be made about that), but Kananga does not have a ‘logo’. An evil organsation must have a logo. It says that you are a structured entity with an identity. It is the device that links the lower echelon minions with Kanaga and Mr. Big. No racism intended, but in Live And Let Die, the colour of the villains skin is used to represent those who work on the side of evil. Bond does not battle an evil organisation; he battles an entire race. I believe that this failure to define the villain’s empire, and particularly the people who work for him, is sloppy. Labouring the point; do the dancers on San Monique work for Kanaga – or do they follow Baron Samedi as their Voodoo Priest? Do the stool pigeons who report on Bond’s movement through Harlem work for Mr. Big – or are they street punks who know they can earn a quick buck by dropping a dime. How powerful is Kananga?

Of course, I can say this thirty-five years later as a distant observer. Maybe in 1973, having a black villain was a big statement. Large enough to unsettle the population, without kitting out an entire army of black soldiers in a distinctive and unified fashion. The idea of an organised, highly efficient black corporation may have been very shocking indeed to certain sections of the community. You just have to look at the impact that The Black Panthers had to see my point. Stretching it to Bondian proportions may have been a bit too unsettling for 1973.

Live And Let Die is a flawed film. It will never be considered high art by any stretch of the imagination. But it is extremely entertaining and was a solid enough vehicle for Roger Moore as James Bond to keep the series moving. The film also features some great Bondian set pieces which I haven’t talked about here – just quickly, there is a very impressive boat chase, and a fun sequence at an alligator farm. While this film isn’t high amongst my favourite Bond films, it’s one that I always enjoy when I do take the time to watch it.

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Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Diamonds Are Forever

Year: 1971
Directed by Guy Hamilton
Sean Connery, Jill St John, Charles Gray, Lana Wood, Desmond Llewelyn as Q, Bernard Lee as M, and Lois Maxwell as Moneypenny
Music by John Barry
Title song performed by Shirley Bassey.
Very loosely based on a novel by Ian Fleming.

Diamonds Are Forever is the seventh film in the EON James Bond series. As with most Bond movies, the pre-production of Diamonds Are Forever is quite a tale in itself. George Lazenby left the series after one film. Actor John Gavin was consequently signed for the role of 007. And finally, at the last minute, Sean Connery was enticed back to the role of Bond for a hefty sum of money. As there are many good books and even a documentary, Inside Diamonds Are Forever on the DVD that recount the events leading up to the making of Diamonds Are Forever, I’ll leave it to the experts to tell the tales, but if you are interested, as I have said before, may I suggest, that you track down a copy of the book ‘Martinis, Girls And Guns’ by Martin Sterling and Gary Morecambe. It is a well researched overview of the series from Dr. No to The World Is Not Enough and fleshes out many of the production dramas that have happened throughout the series.

But onto the movie itself. The previous Bond movie, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, left us with a distraught Lazenby Bond cradling his dead wife. Diamonds Are Forever makes no obvious reference to the proceedings of the last film, other than, Bond is determined to track down Ernst Stavro Blofeld - his wife’s killer. Bond’s motivation for being so desperate to hunt down Blofeld isn’t specified either. It is almost as if the previous film did not exist.

WELCOME TO HELL BLOFELD. The film starts with Connery Bond rough-housing a few informers to get to his nemesis, Blofeld (this time played by Charles Gray, who co-incidentally played Dikko Henderson two films earlier in You Only Live Twice). Bond’s investigations take him to a plastic surgery clinic, where Blofeld is attempting to make clones of himself. Bond intervenes, and finally kills Blofeld, sending his body into a pool of boiling mud.

The titles roll; Maurice Binder’s graphics twirl, and good old Shirley Bassey belts out one of the classic theme songs. Does life get any better than this?

Diamonds Are Forever has a tortuous plot, which I wont outline too heavily. Put simply, Bond has to investigate a diamond smuggling operation, which move diamonds from South Africa to Holland, and finally to the United Sates. Bond infiltrates the gang, posing as a smuggler, and follows the diamonds to Las Vegas and the casino of a reclusive millionaire, Willard Whyte.

Along the way, Bond encounters a few Bond girls. The first is Tiffany Case, played by Jill St. John. Tiffany is the bad girl who turns good, but only after Bond has bedded her. Next we have Plenty O’Toole played by Lana Wood. Naturally with a name like Plenty O’Toole, there is a Bondian quip that goes with the characters introduction. And finally a special mention should go to Bambi and Thumper, played by Lola Larson and Trina Parks respectively. These lethal ladies give poor old Mr. Bond a hard time when he crosses their path.

I like Diamond Are Forever. It is one of the wittiest of the Bond films, but the story is a bit of a mish-mash in places, and has some large gaping plot holes. But most people don’t go to a Bond film for the story. They go for a few hours of escapism, and on that level Diamonds Are Forever delivers. And, of course, it was great to see Sean Connery back in the role he was born to play. But Diamonds Are Forever is a bit of a step down from the Bond films of the sixties, and the injection of humour was a forerunner of things to come. Many people blame Roger Moore’s ascendancy to the role of James Bond as the turning point in the series. From then on, the films were played for laughs. Well that isn’t the case. Diamonds Are Forever is played totally for laughs, and as such the blame cannot fall solely on Roger Moore’s shoulders. It was obviously a decision by the film-makers, and co-incidentally it happened to suit Moore’s acting style…but more of that when I review Live And Let Die.

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Monday, May 5, 2008

Goldfinger

Year: 1964
Directed by Guy Hamilton
Sean Connery, Honor Blackman, Gert Frobe, Shirley Eaton, Tania Mallet, Harold Sakata, Cec Linder, Bernard Lee, Desmond Llewelyn Lois Maxwell, Nadja Regin, Margaret Nolan
Music by John Barry
Theme song performed by Shirley Bassey
Based on the novel by Ian Fleming

Many people consider this the best Bond film of them all. Maybe it is. It certainly is the film that set the style for all Bond films to follow. The first two movies, Dr. No and From Russia With Love were a bit harder than Goldfinger and they took on the flavour of the locations Bond was visiting - in Dr. No when Bond lands on Crab Key the film takes on an old fashioned (boys own) adventure tone. In From Russia With Love, the scenes in Turkey, and in particular the Gypsy Camp, have a certain feel which has never been replicated. But by the time Goldfinger came around, the Bond style was finely honed. It didn’t matter where Bond travelled to, wherever the location, the style of the films did not change.

Another element that changed with Goldfinger was the increased amount of humour. Although there was humour in the previous two Bond movies, Goldfinger really is ground zero for the double entendres, and the occasional sight gag. For example the opening scene features James Bond in SCUBA gear approaching a dock. Attached to his headpiece as camouflage is a artificial duck. With that, I’ll move on to the plot overview - it starts with a rip-roaring pre-title sequence in Latin America.

‘Shocking! Positively Shocking!’ After James Bond (Sean Connery) has blown up an Oil Refinery, which was actually a heroin processing plant, he stops off at nightclub to pay his respects to Bonita (Nadja Regin), a dancer he has been seeing. Backstage, as he holds her, reflected in her eyes, Bond sees an assassin sneaking up from behind. At the last second, as the assailant brings down his blackjack, Bond spins and the girl receives the blow meant for him. Ouch! Bond and his adversary duke it out in the small backstage room, until Bond gets the better off his attacker and sends him flying backwards into the bathtub. Unfortunately for Bond, next to the bathtub, is Bond’s Walther PPK (for the un-initiated - his gun). The assassin grabs Bond’s gun and takes aim. Simultaneously, Bond flings an electric fan heater into the bathtub and electrocutes his attacker.

Then we launch into the title sequence. The song Goldfinger is sung with gusto by Shirley Bassey. If you haven’t heard it, you must have been living on another planet. Accompanying Miss Bassey’s vocal are Robert Brownjohn’s visuals, images from the film projected onto the golden body of Margaret Nolan (who will turn up later in the movie as ‘Dink’). Trevor Bond is quoted in Emily King’s book “Robert Brownjohn: Sex And Typography”:

“I think Goldfinger were the only titles that ever went to the censor. We were going to project objects on her body, but that was too difficult, it was hard to make them stand out. It was Bj’s idea to project scenes from the film. The golf ball down the cleavage is pure Bj. It was brilliant.”

After the titles we land at the Fountainbleau Hotel in Miami. Beside the pool, Bond is receiving a massage from Dink (the aforementioned Margaret Nolan), when he is interrupted by old friend and C.I.A. agent Felix Leiter (this time played by Cec Linder. Leiter was previously played by Jack Lord in Doctor No).

Leiter passes on a message from ‘M’. Bond is to observe Auric Goldfinger (Gert Frobe). Each day Goldfinger plays gin with Du Pont, and each day Goldfinger has won. Bond observes this from a far, but is suspicious. His suspicions take him up to Goldfinger’s hotel suite. Inside he finds Jill Masterson (Shirley Eaton), clad in black underwear, peering through a pair of binoculars. From her vantage point she can see the cards, Du Pont is holding and via a small two way radio, she passes this information to Goldfinger. His receiving device is disguised as a hearing aid. Bond isn’t impressed with the scam. He takes the microphone and threaten to tell the Miami Police unless Goldfinger starts to lose. And lose he does.

Meanwhile Bond takes Jill back to his room for a bit of ‘slap and tickle’. But while searching the fridge for another bottle of champagne, Bond is knocked unconscious. Now the Bond series has a few iconic moments, and the next scene is one of them. When Bond comes to, he sees Jill dead, spread eagled on his bed. But what makes this different, is she is covered from head to toe with gold paint. She has died from skin suffocation. The scene is dazzling and original and now indelibly etched into the minds of anyone who saw this film when they were young.

Back in London in ‘M’s office, Bond is reprimanded. He was supposed to watch Goldfinger, not borrow his girlfriend. Later, he is briefed on what his mission is about. Goldfinger is a gold smuggler. He buys gold in undeveloped countries for a small price and sells it in developed countries for a high price. But nobody knows how he does it. Bond’s mission is to find out. Naturally there’s more to Goldfinger, than just gold smuggling. That’s just the tip of the ice-berg. But these are things that Bond and the viewer finds out along the way.

Onto the Bond girls (I am sure there’s a Bondian quip there, but I’m not game to use it). Bond has quite a few conquests throughout this film. Above I have already mentioned Nadja Regin as Bonita, and Margaret Nolan as Dink. The three main Bond girls, are Shirley Eaton as Jill Masterson, Tania Mallet as Tilly Masterson, and most famously Honour Blackman (Cathy Gale from The Avengers) plays Pussy Galore.

Goldfinger doesn’t feature too many gadgets. Bond only has one. And it’s a doozy. It’s the very famous Aston Martin DB5. It comes equipped with every assault and defence device imaginable. Amongst the devices are revolving number plates, a rear bullet proof shield, front and rear machine guns, smoke screen, oil slick, and a passenger side ejector seat. It’s riot, when Bond finally gets to put the car through its paces. But Bond isn’t the only person allowed to have gadgets. Goldfinger possesses an industrial laser. Goldfinger demonstrates its capabilities in a very uncomfortable scene (for male viewers), where Bond is strapped to a table, and Goldfinger has his laser moving between Bonds legs, slowly up towards his genitals. At this point Bond asks, “Do you expect me to talk?” And to this Goldfinger glibly replies, “No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!” It’s classic cinema.

As with most Bond movies, a few notes about music are in order. The musical score is by John Barry, and the classic Bond sound starts here. Sure, Barry worked on Dr. No, and composed the score for From Russia With Love. But here is starting line for the true Bond sound. Barry has composed a terrific score, with an equally memorable title song performed by Shirley Bassey. This is the soundtrack to which all other Bond soundtracks are compared. It’s bold, it’s brassy. It’s Bond.

So that’s Goldfinger, the third film in the Bond series. It has to be the most fun of all the Bond films. It’s story isn’t the strongest, and Bond falls into more traps than he sets. Actually he doesn’t do that much at all in the end, but he is the centrepiece; and because of this film, an iconic one at that. When this film was released, people queued around the block to see it at cinemas. Its success launched Bondmania around the world. Bond became a brand. There were everything from jigsaw puzzles and toy cars to talcum powder and vodka labelled with the 007 logo. If it was Bond, it was sixties cool. Countless imitators and rip-offs began springing up. Particularly in Europe where a whole industry popped up making Eurospy films. Even in Asia, Bond was popular; and they had their own attempt at making spy films. It seems like there wasn’t a place on the planet where Bond’s influence wasn’t felt. Even behind the Iron Curtain. The average Soviet citizen may never have had the opportunity to see a Bond film, or read a Bond book, but they knew who Bond was.

Before I sign off on this review, I thought I’d share a little bit of trivia: Before Goldfinger Harold Sakata was a Hawaiian pro-wrestler called Tosh Togo. He also won a silver medal in the 1948 Olympics in the light - heavyweight weightlifting division.

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Monday, April 28, 2008

Murderers’ Row (1966)

Directed by Henry Levin
Dean Martin, Karl Malden, Anne Margaret, Camilla Sparv, James Gregory, Beverly Adams
Music by Lalo Schifrin
Based on the novel by Donald Hamilton


Here’s a quick one. I don’t think too much needs to be said about the Dean Martin Matt Helm films. You either love ‘em or hate ‘em. Fans of Donald Hamilton’s book series generally hate them. And critically they get panned too. But sometimes I think the Matt Helm films get a bad wrap. Sure, they aren’t tough like the books they are based on, but they do have Dean Martin doing what he does best; boozin’ and having a good time. And is there anything wrong with that?

Murderer’s Row is the second Matt Helm film, following The Silencers and while not quite being up the the first movie’s standard, it is still a decent piece of swingin’ sixties espionage cinema.

The plot is simple enough. Julian Wall (Karl Malden), who works for the nefarious ‘Big O’ has kidnapped a scientist who has been constructing a ‘helio beam’. Once Wall has control of the ‘helio beam’ he intends to destroy Washington D.C. Secret Agent Matt Helm (Dean Martin) has to find the missing scientist and save the world. He does this with the aid of the scientist’s wild go-go dancing daughter (Anne Margaret). Yep, the plot is paper thin, but it is only there to hang Deano’s boozin’ jokes on.

Where the film starts to fall down is during the action sequences in the second half. They are all rather uninvolving. Maybe this is because they are mostly filmed as long shots, and even then you can clearly tell that the guy on the screen is not Martin but his stunt double.

At the end of the day you either enjoy Deano’s drunken lounge spy antics or you don’t. If you don’t this film will infuriate you, with some of the lame set ups and jokes. But if you don’t mind Deano’s breezy throwaway style, then Murderer’s Row will be a reasonably pleasant diversion.

One thing that Murderer’s Row has got going for it, is an absolutely fantastic musical score by Lalo Schifrin. The riff from the title tune will get stuck in your head for days. Although relatively short by today’s standards (around 30 minutes), the soundtrack album is well worth tracking down.

The four Matt Helm films are:
• The Silencers
• Murderer’s Row
• The Ambushers
• The Wrecking Crew


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Saturday, April 26, 2008

Assassination In Rome (1965)

Directed by Silvio Amadio
Cyd Charisse, Hugh O'Brian, Mario Feliciani, Alberto Closas, Juliette Mayniel, Philippe Lemaire, Gina Rovere
Music by Armando Trovajoli


Assassination In Rome is a solid enough thriller, but it is far from outstanding. What it does have going for it, is that European travelogue feel that so many sixties films possessed. As you’ve probably guessed from the title, the story in this little adventure takes place in Italy; mostly in Rome, but there is a brief excursion to Venice.

Above you would have heard me describe this film as a little adventure, and that is exactly what everybody believes has happened to Shelley North’s husband, William. They believe he has run off with a beautiful young Italian girl. Apparently that happens a lot to American men on holiday in Rome! The film opens with Shelley North (Cyd Charisse – who you may remember from The Silencers, and a few musicals) phoning the American Embassy to report her missing husband. She is fobbed off.

Meanwhile a dead body is found beside the Trevi fountain. In the man’s pockets, is a packet of heroin. The body isn't Shelley's missing husband, but there may be a connection between the dead man and William North.

Adding to the story is a couple of bumbling crooks, who break into the dead man’s apartment. One of the thieves steals a pair of shoes. The shoes have a false heel, and inside is a mysterious package. The thieves don’t care what it is. If it was hidden, it must be valuable, and they hatch a plan to sell the package back to its owner. Little do they know that the owner is dead, and before the movie is over, several other people will die, all because of this mysterious package.

Also working in Rome, as a newspaper reporter is American, Dick Sherman (Hugh O’Brian). Sherman is your standard, square-jawed American hero type, a role that suits O’Brian to the ground. Sherman once had a relationship with Shelley, and when he hears her name in the reports from the Embassy, he volunteers to help his old flame track down her delinquent husband. And as a reporter, who knows, there just may be a story in it?

Along for the ride, as Shelley and Dick piece together the details surrounding William’s disappearance, are the chief detective on the case, and Erica a fellow reporter, who has a crush on Dick.

The first sixty minutes of this production are in a methodical detective style as our gang of heroes follow the clues. The film could almost be described as Chandleresque. But after the hour, the film picks up pace and the story jags sharply towards over-ripe psychodrama, in the Hitchcock tradition. The music gets louder; the red herrings become more prominent; and the story becomes, well to be honest, rather silly!

There is a hint of a spy story, the MacGuffin being a top-secret microfilm containing military secrets. The villains are a virtually unseen secret organization who deals in secrets, torture, and death! Despite these familiar trappings, I wouldn’t really call this a spy film and recommend it to aficionados of espionage cinema.

The music by Armando Trovajoli is worth mentioning. The score is very good, but subdued in the first half. As the music soars in the second half it adds to the mystery of the film. In fact, it is a little bit deceptive – deliberately so. Possible spoiler: If the music is loud and pounding, you’re probably witnessing a red herring. If the music is subtle, then the story is progressing normally and its heroes are heading in the right direction.

Assassination In Rome is not a lost classic. It is a decent ‘B’ picture with interesting location shooting. And for most of its running time, it is a fairly good thriller. It’s only at the denouement that the film falls from favour.

I do not like endorsing any particular company or product, but Dark Sky films have this movie paired with Espionage In Tangiers as a double feature DVD. The DVD is presented as a ‘Drive-In’ double feature, with old adverts for fast food (that doesn’t look appealing at all), and previews for coming attractions. It’s a good, fun package.

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Monday, April 14, 2008

Casino Royale (1967)

Directed by John Huston, Ken Hughes, Val Guest, Robert Parrish, Joe McGrath
David Niven, Peter Sellers, Ursula Andress, Daliah Lavi, Orson Welles, Woody Allen, Joanna Pettet
Music by Burt Bacarach
Title song by Herb Alpert and his Tijuana Brass
Song, ‘Look of Love’, sung by Dusty Springfield
Inspired by the novel by Ian Fleming


“Casino Royale is either going to be a classic bit of fun or the biggest f*ck up since the Flood. I think probably the later.”
David Niven – ‘The Moon’s A Balloon’


Please do not confuse this version of Casino Royale with the 2006 version starring Daniel Craig. There was also an episode of Climax Theatre based on Casino Royale. It was made in 1954, and starred Barry Nelson as ‘Card Sense’ Jimmy Bond. This is the 1967 version, which is one of the worst examples of sixties excess and indulgence. The story of this production is an oft told one and I’ll leave it to the experts to elaborate (For those interested, may I suggest that you track down a copy of the book ‘Martinis, Girls And Guns’ by Martin Sterling and Gary Morecambe. It is a well researched overview of the series from Dr. No to The World Is Not Enough and fleshes out many of the production dramas that have happened throughout the series). The simple points are: this is not an official entry in the Bond series, and it is a comedy.

Where do you start when reviewing this film? I could do a synopsis of the plot, but there is not much point really – the film is all over the place – probably the result of having multiple directors. I could outline the characters, but each character gets renamed James Bond, so that would be confusing. Then what has the film got going for it? The cast, maybe. Although most of them probably cross Casino Royale off their resumés when looking for other work.

• David Niven plays Sir James Bond, a retired secret agent who is called back into service, when ‘M’, the head of M.I.6 is killed. At the start, Sir James stutters and as the film progresses, he becomes more youthful, and loses his speech impediment – I am not sure why?. The film also intimates that Niven is the real ‘James Bond’, and upon retirement, his name and number (007) were passed on to keep the legend alive. Sir James is not pleased about his successor’s womanising – most probably a dig at ‘Connery Bond’. I am not making any groundbreaking comments when I say Niven made a lot of shit. This is one of his greater follies.

• Then we have Peter Sellers as Evelyn Tremble, who is one of the many characters who is renamed ‘James Bond’ in this film. It’s a ploy designed to confuse the enemy. It’s so effective, it confuses the viewing audience as well. As with Niven, it is no secret that Sellers made a lot of shit. Apparently Sellers was going through a prima-donna phase when he made this movie and refused to work with Orson Welles. Their scenes were shot separately.

• As mentioned above, next we have Orson Welles. He comes off relatively unscathed, as his role is essentially a cameo. One wonders what he could have done with the character of Le Chiffre if the film had been played straight.

Ursula Andress pops up in the film. Revered as the first Bond girl, from Dr. No, it’s a shame to see her in this trash. She looks great though. She plays Vesper Lynd (also renamed James Bond).

• Then we have Daliah Lavi. I am a big fan of Miss Lavi, who appeared in a swag of spy films in the sixties – The Spy With A Cold Nose, Some Girls Do, The High Commissioner, and The Silencers to name a few – but here she is reduced to just another ‘James Bond’ in this massive ensemble cast.

• Deborah Kerr plays Agent Mimi, who also happens to be M’s wife, Lady Fiona McTarry. Apparently she is an agent for SMERSH...but I am not really sure. She gets to put on a Scottish accent and be silly.

• Joanna Pettet plays Mata Bond. If you haven’t all ready guessed she is the offspring from Sir James Bond and Mata Hari.

• And after all that, we have Woody Allen. Woody is Jimmy Bond, Sir James Bond’s nephew. Jimmy is so scared of his famous uncle, he is rendered speechless whenever he is in his presence.

What else can I tell you? The film has everything thrown at it: cowboys, indians, the French Foreign Legion (represented by Jean Paul Belmondo), American Gangsters (well, George Raft standing by the bar tossing a coin), and even Frankenstein’s monster. Despite all this, it just isn’t funny and isn’t that the point of comedy, to raise a laugh?

SPOILER AHEAD: At the end of the film, all of the major characters die. It is supposed to be funny, but it really is a final insult by this truly awful film. I know the Bond fans who have not seen this film will be strangely drawn to it, but don’t do it. It is not a Bond film, and really, it would be better if it were just forgotten.

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Sunday, April 6, 2008

Operation Kid Brother (1967)

AKA: OK Connery, Operation Double 007, Secret Agent 00
Directed by Alberto De Martino
Neil Connery, Daniela Bianchi, Adolpho Celi, Anthony Dawson, Bernard Lee, Lois Maxwell
Music by Ennio Morricone and Bruno Nicolai
Song ‘OK Connery’ performed by Khristy

“I’m a surgeon, not a secret agent!”


Of all the European spy films made in the sixties to cash in on Bondmania, Operation Kid Brother is probably the best known. Not because it was one of the better examples of the Eurospy genre, but because it featured Sean Connery’s younger brother Neil, in the title role. And there you have the joke, the movie hangs it’s plot on.

Secret Agent 007’s brother, Dr. Neil Connery (he uses his real name in the movie) is a plastic surgeon, lip reader, hypnotist and archer extraordinaire. It is these skills that help him once he gets drawn into a tangled web of intrigue, when one of his patients gets kidnapped by an evil organisation called Thanatos. But I am getting ahead of myself.

The film opens with a boat, crewed by a bevy of scantily clad ladies, pulling into Monte Carlo harbour. Below deck, Thayer (Adolpho Celi - who played Emilio Largo in the Bond movie Thunderball) is receiving a massage, while watching a movie on a naked back on one of his girls. More about Thayer later…

Meanwhile Miss Maxwell (Lois Maxwell - who played Moneypenny from 1962-85) is waiting at the Aero Club of Monte Carlo, for a plane to land. And not just any plane. Coming in for landing is an agent named Ward Jones, who is carrying a very important little box. But as the plane lands and begins taxiing down the runway, a remote control car, guided by Thayer (naturally), is sent into a collision course with the plane. Both car and plane explode in a fireball. As emergency crews attend to the wreck, during the commotion, Maya (Daniela Bianchi - who played Tatiana Romanova in From Russia With Love), clothed in an asbestos fire suit, retrieves the box from the flaming wreckage and disappears with it.

We then move to a lecture theatre where Doctor Neil Connery is holding a lecture on plastic surgery and facial reconstruction. His lecture is disrupted when a group of men burst in an attempt to steal Doctor Connery’s patient. You see, she was Ward Jones girlfriend, and everyone believes that he has left some vital intelligence information with her.

The kidnapping attempt is foiled by Miss Maxwell, who spirits the girl away. Unfortunately, Connery was distracted in the commotion, and has accidentally killed an man. The authorities have him in custody. It’s here that Doctor Connery is recruited, or rather blackmailed, into working for M.I.6. The head of M.I.6 is another familiar face. It is Bernard Lee, who played ‘M’ in the Bond series (from 1962 – 1979). Here he plays Commander Cunningham. Connery's mission is to stop Thanatos.

As I briefly mentioned earlier, the villains of the piece, are an evil organization called Thanatos. The leader of Thanatos, Alpha, is played by Anthony Dawson, another Bond alumni, who played Professor Dent in Doctor No. Alpha’s number two man, is Thayer. But Thayer is not happy about being Number two, or if you prefer ‘Beta’, and has his own plan to take over Thanatos.

But what are Thanatos’ up to? They plan to blackmail the world with a device that freezes anything with moving metal parts. Naturally Thanatos need a secret underground lair, to carry out their dastardly plan, and theirs is hidden under a castle a few miles outside Munich. As you’d expect it is up to Doctor Connery, with a bit of help from some Scottish archery champions to stop Thanatos and save the world. Obviously a trait that runs in the family.

Operation Kid Brother has some over-the-top sequences. A favourite has the girls from Thanatos stealing an ‘atomic nucleus.’ They do this, by disguising themselves as stranded dancehall girls, with car troubles. Then they overpower the men in an army convoy. And if that wasn’t enough, to smuggle their ill-gotten gain back to their headquarters, they disguise the army transport as a moving advertisement for ‘The Wild Pussy Club’, featuring the girls dressed in cat costumes. Grrrrr!

Another over-the-top scene is at the climax, after Thayer begins his two minute countdown to firing the dreaded freezing weapon. Within the 120 seconds, Maya has time to escape from a castle, steal a helicopter, fly back to the nearest city and raise the alarm. Let’s just say Miss Bianchi is certainly a very sprightly agent.

Many articles have been written about Operation Kid Brother, most of them are negative. But the film is actually a great deal of fun. It was never intended as a taut thriller. It is a sly send-up, with outrageous stunts, garish costumes, and performances by a group of actors who are extremely familiar to avid fans of the Bond series. It is a pity that the movie is not more readily available.

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Friday, March 28, 2008

What’s Up Tiger Lily? (1966)

Directed by Woody Allen (and Senkichi Taniguchi)
Tatsuya Mihasi, Akiko Wakabayashi, Mie Hama, Tadao Nakamaru, Susumu Kurobe, Woody Allen
Music by The Lovin’ Spoonful

“Meet me in the bedroom in five minutes and bring a cattle prod!"


What’s Up Tiger Lily? Is a bit hard to explain, but here goes. At the height of the Bond craze in the mid sixties, Woody Allen went and bought himself a Japanese spy film called Kokusai himitsu keisatsu: Kagi no kagi (International Secret Police: Keys Of Keys), which had been released the previous year. Woody completely wiped the sound from the film and added his own dialogue and soundtrack.

The film starts with a string of scenes from Kokusai himitsu keisatsu: Kagi no kagi with the original Japanese dialogue. Then we cut to an introduction with Woody Allen and an interviewer. Woody explains the concept behind the movie and how he put it together. After the introduction, the titles roll. They feature a little animated Woody running over a selection of candy coloured spy girl images – scantily clad girls with guns etc.

Then the movie proper begins. Loveable rogue, Phil Moscowitz (Tatsuya Mihasi ) is an agent for the Asian Bureau of the International Secret Police. But despite his position, Phil spends most of his time womanising in a schoolboy kind of way. If there’s a keyhole to the women’s showers, you can be sure that Phil’s eye is pressed up against it. These days his actions would be considered sexual harassment, But Phil is just a good time boy looking for a bit of nookey. When we meet Phil, he is in a strip club watching a tasseled performer gyrate on stage. After the act, Phil is asked to dance.

Rather than having the original dance sequence, Woody cuts in a musical performance by The Lovin’ Spoonful. Everybody knows the Spoonful’s song Summer In The City but most of their material didn’t have that hard edge. It is more in the ‘folk’ style, and frankly rather annoying. Don’t get me wrong I like a bit of folk music but not in a spy film. It’s out of place. But I guess that is what Woody was trying to do – place sounds and words that you wouldn’t normally associate with spy films, over the top of the film. But by adding a performance clip, it comes off as ‘snouts to the trough’ for a few mates – rather than an obtuse juxtaposition of music.

We next meet Phil in his hotel room with the girl he met at the strip club. As she takes a shower, Phil prepares for a night of love. However, as he takes off his jacket, a bullet shatters the room window and narrowly misses Phil. A few more shots follow. Phil kills the lights, grabs his gun, and sticking close to the wall enters into a fire-fight with his would be assassin.

As the shots continue to pepper Phil’s location, he tries to dash across the room. As he runs, the sniper takes aim and fires. Phil goes down. A few minutes later, the assassin comes over to check his handywork. As the assassin approaches Phil’s body, we find out that our hero has only being playing possum. He wasn’t hit at all. Phil literally pulls the rug out from under the sniper’s feet and a fist fight erupts. Now, the fights scenes are where the film is really funny. As the punches fly, Phil yells out a series of catch phrases that are repeated throughout the film. Maybe Woody had been watching a lot of dubbed Peplum films in preparation for this movie, because the dialogue includes lines like: ”Saracen Pig – Saxon Dog – Take this!”

There’s not much point outling too much of the plot, as the story chops and changes to suit the jokes that Woody has written. But you’re probably wondering what the ‘spy story’ is. There is one of sorts. Crimelord, Shepard Wong (Tadao Nakamaru) has stolen an ‘Egg Salad’ recipe, and the good guys want it back. To complicate things further, another crimelord, Wing Fat (Susumu Kurobe) also want a piece of the ‘Egg Salad’ action. This leaves Phil and his partners Suki Yaki (Akiko Wakabayashi) and Teri Yaki (Mie Hama) to outwit two gangs of criminals and retrieve the recipe.

In the second half of the film, the jokes fall away and the characters are left to play out the narrative they have been given. By this stage your ears will be accustomed to the unusual and silly voices coming out of their mouths, and therefore the comedic impact is muted.

Sad as this may seem to some people, I find What’s Up Tiger Lily? an infuriating film. I am far more interested in the film underneath than Woody’s egg salad comedy. Kokusai himitsu keisatsu: Kagi no kagi is an entry in a series of Japanese spy films, and judging from the picture utilised in What’s Up Tiger Lily? they look like they were quite a good deal of fun. The first film in the series appears to be Kokusai himitsu keisatsu: shirei dai hachigo (International Secret Police: Order No 8), which was released in 1963. The next film (according to IMDB) is the curiously titled The Trap Of Suicide Kilometer, which was released in (1964). Then we have Kokusai himitsu keisatsu: Kagi no kagi (International Secret Police: Keys Of Keys), which we have briefly discussed above. And finally in 1967, there was Kokusai himitsu keisatsu: Zettai zetsumi (International Secret Police: Driven To The Wall) AKA: The Killing Bottle.

In the end What’s Up Tiger Lily? is an interesting curio from a time when the world went spy crazy. But as a comedy, it struggles to provide laughs over a full 80 minutes. Even if you are a Woody Allen fan, he is not really in the movie. He performs four very brief scenes. Summarising, I’d call the movie an amusing failure.

For the trivia hounds among you, Akiko Wakabayashi and Mie Hama appeared in the Bond film You Only Live twice, made a year later.

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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The Road To Hong Kong (1962)

Directed by Norman Panama
Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, Joan Collins, Robert Morley, Walter Gotell, Dorothy Lamour
Cameo appearances by Peter Sellers, David Niven, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra
Music by Robert Farnon
Songs by Sammy Cahn and Jimmy Van Heusen


I’ll confess that I am too young (ha, ha) to have watched and been a fan of Bob Hope and Bing Crosby. And this is the only ‘Road’ movie that I have seen. I chose to watch it because of the espionage related plot. From other sources this film is generally derided for being the weakest of the ‘Road’ movies, but from my point of view this is a fairly decent 1960’s spy spoof.

What I find quite remarkable is that Road To Hong Kong was released in the US on 22 May 1962, a good 4 months before Dr. No was released in the UK (I mention the UK because The Road To Hong Kong was filmed in England. Incidentally Dr. No wasn’t released in the US till January 1963). Why am I comparing release dates? Well, The Road To Hong Kong is one of the better Bond send ups - only it was made before there were Bond films to send up. Firstly, the film features a title sequence by Maurice Binder. Secondly the production designer is Syd Cain, who worked uncredited on Dr. No (under Ken Adam), and as head on From Russia With Love, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, and Live And Let Die. Apart from Bond, Cain worked on, Hot Enough For June and The Billion Dollar Brain. Then we have the cast: Walter Gotell appeared in seven Bond films and provided the voice of General Gogol for the James Bond Jnr animated series. Next we have Niven and Sellers, who both appeared in the 1967 comedy version of Casino Royale. Okay Robert Morley and Joan Collins never appeared in a Bond film, but both of them are not strangers to the world of espionage. Morley appeared in Hot Enough For June, Some Girls Do, and When Eight Bells toll, plus many others. Collins appeared in the TV shows The Persuaders, Mission Impossible, and The Man From UNCLE. Theatrically she appeared in Subterfuge with Gene Barry. I think I have laboured the point, that while The Road To Hong Kong may not have been a very successful ‘Road’ picture, it was a very fertile training ground many of the people behind Bondmania and the spy-craze that swept the world during the sixties.

Let’s have a look at the story. After the title sequence, which features a vaudevillian dance routine from Hope and Crosby, the film opens in Hong Kong, at the American Intelligence Organisation headquarters. They are concerned, because the Russians have just sent two men around the moon in a spacecraft. The most disconcerting thing for them though, is that the cosmonauts have American accents. They play a tape recording to demonstrate. The voices are of Hope and Crosby. At that moment a girl, Diane (Joan Collins) is allowed into the room. She claims to have knowledge of the space mission. She says it wasn’t the Russian who sent up the spacecraft. It was a group called The Third Echelon. She describes them as ‘more desperate, more intelligent, and infinitely more dangerous the the Americans or the Russians’. Diane, who used to be an agent for The third Echelon, explains the story via flashback...

Ten days previously, in Calcutta, Harry Turner (Bing Crosby) and Chester Babcock (Bob Hope) are trying to sell a ‘Fly It Yourself’ interplanetary space suit to a gullible crowd. Harry is spruiking the suits virtues, how anyone can fly it, and you can go anywhere you want to go with one. These spacesuits consist a silver top and pants. Added to this are a helmet with a propeller on the top, and an engine, with another propeller strapped to the backside. To continue the Bond association, which I started in the opening paragraphs, the suit is like a cross between Little Nellie, the gyro-copter used in You Only Live Twice and the jet rocket pack that Bond used in the pre-title sequence in Thunderball. The innocent dupe, who was going to test fly the suit for the crowd does a runner at the last minute. Harry convinces Chester to put on the gear and demonstrate. Needless to say, it all goes horribly wrong.

Chester ends up in hospital with amnesia. He cannot remember Harry, or even his own name. Chester is then taken to the best neurologist in India, who just happens to be Peter Sellers. Sellers Indian routine will be familiar to anyone who has watched Blake Edwards The Party. I know that in some circles, The Party is considered a comedy classic, but in my opinion, Sellers cameo in this movie is funnier. But that is a personal taste thing, you’ll have your own opinion.

Sellers cannot restore Chester’s memory but he recommends a lamasery in Tibet (for those that don’t know, a ‘lamasery’ is where the ‘lamas’ live, as in Dalai Lama etc...). So, Harry and Chester prepare to catch a plane to Tibet. At the airport Diane is meeting an agent who has stolen a top secret Russian rocket fuel formula. The formula is passed to Diane on a series of cards, which she secrets away. In turn, she is to pass them on to a photographer who will take shots and make microfilm. The photographer is also to meet her at the airport. She’ll recognise the photographer from a symbol on his luggage - three concentric circles. Naturally there’s a mix up with the baggage, and Chester winds up carrying the photographer’s case. Diane approaches him and slides the formula into Chester’s coat pocket. Then Harry and Chester board their plane for Tibet, before Diane has time to realise her mistake.

Harry and Chester arrive at the lamasery, and indeed they can cure Chester. In fact the secret herb that can restore his memory, can also help him remember anything he reads. Chester takes the drug and is cured. But now Harry and Chester are not allowed to leave the lamasery. They belong to the temple. This wont do, so the boys escape using the old patty-cake routine. Once you see it, you’ll know what I mean! As Harry and Chester are con-men always looking for an angle to make money, they also steal a phial of the herbs. They figure they can use it on stage for a ‘memory routine’.

They fly back to Calcutta, and in their hotel room they decide to test the herbs. For the test they need something to read, and Chester pulls out the rocket formula from his jacket pocket. Chester takes the herbs, and reads the cards. Harry tests him on his knowledge and as he is successful, burns the cards. Unwittingly, now the formula only exists in Chester’s mind.

Diane is still after the formula, and makes an arrangement with Harry. She will pay them $25,000 if they will go to Hong Kong and recite the formula. It is an offer too good to refuse, and off go our two intrepid heroes. Harry and Chester arrive at the home of the leader of the Third Echelon. By an amazing elevator, they are taken to an underground, and underwater lair which houses a rocket base. I must make mention of the set design at this point. It is all staggering good. Sure it is a little on the cartoon side, after-all this is a comedy, but everything from the control rooms, the rocket launch site, the submarines, and even the interior of the rocket capsule, with the banana feeding machine is extremely well done.

The leader of the Third Echelon is Robert Morley. He demands that Chester reveals the secret formula. But this time the herbs don’t work (they have been substituted for tea). Chester cannot remember. Harry and Chester are sentenced to be killed. Their reprieve comes via one of the scientists, Dr. Zorbb (Walter Gotell). He suggests that they send Harry and Chester up into outer space instead of the two monkeys that were originally going to be sent.

As you can see by the plot, it’s all very silly, as you expect from Hope and Crosby. But generally it is all pretty good fun. As this is the first ‘Road’ film in ten years for the boys, there are plenty of jibes about their respective ages. And as you’d expect, it’s the banter between the two stars that really drive this film along. Sure, you heard some of the jokes before (‘walk this way’), but these guys are old friends. For fans of the other film in the series, don’t expect too much from Dorothy Lamour. Her role is barely more than a cameo towards the end. As I mentioned at the top, as a ‘Road’ film, this may not be the funniest or the freshest, but at the beginning of the sixties, film styles were changing, and maybe without even realising they were doing it, the team behind The Road to Hong Kong were providing a taster of things to come.

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Monday, March 24, 2008

From The Orient With Fury (1965)

AKA: Fury In The Orient, Agent 077 Operation Istanbul , Fury In Istanbul, Fury On The Bosphorus, Storm Over The Bosphorus
Directed by Terrence Hathaway (Sergio Grieco)
Ken Clark, Fernando Sancho, Margaret Lee, Philippe Hersent, Franco Ressel, Vitorrio Sanipoli, Mikaela
Music by Piero Piccioni
Songs ‘Before It’s Too Late’ and ‘You Wonderful You’ sung by Lydia Macdonald


From The Orient With Fury (or any of the myriad of other names that this film goes by), is the second in the Ken Clark 077 series, and while being a slight step down form the first, Mission Bloody Mary, it is still a fairly slick Eurospy production. The film opens with a nice pop art rotoscope title sequence and Lydia Macdonald singing ‘Before It’s Too Late’.

In Istanbul, Professor Franz Kurtz (Ennio Balbo) arrives at a hotel, with a coterie of reporters at his heels. He has just invented a Beta Ray that disintegrates metal. Accompanying the Professor is C.I.A. agent McFlint, whose job is to protect the Professor. As they pass through the hotel lobby McFlint is called to the telephone. As he takes the call, the Professor makes his way up to his room. Waiting for him inside are a handful of burly gorillas dressed as the house band. The Goons kidnap the Professor, smuggling him out, hidden in a case for a double bass.

When McFlint finally makes it up to the Kurtz’s room, all he finds is a dead body slumped in an armchair. As McFlint investigates, the bomb goes off destroying the hotel room. Naturally, the authorities believe the dead man in the armchair was Professor Kurtz, and the newspapers of the world are filled with reports about his demise.

Meanwhile in Paris, the Head of the C.I.A., Heston (Philpe Hersent) is meeting with Kurtz’s daughter, Romy. He explains that he had the fingerprints checked and is positive that her father is alive. Now he intends to put his best man on the case to find the Professor. That man is Dick Malloy – Agent 077 (Ken Clark).

When we catch up with Dick Malloy, he is involved in a bar fight. For what reason, we never find out. As he is on holidays, maybe that is how he relaxes? Mid fight he is interrupted by a telephone call from Heston, and is sent to Paris for a briefing.

Malloy’s mission is to pick up the trail of the kidnappers and the Professor. His first task is to meet with one of the Professor’s colleagues, Preminger, at a night club called Martignon. Malloy is at the club at the allotted time. But unfortunately Preminger is followed by the hoods who kidnapped Professor Kurtz. Before he can talk to Malloy, he is silenced by a poison needle. With his dying breath Preminger says to Malloy, ‘Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony’.

With barely a lead to go on, Malloy proceeds to Preminger’s house in a black Chevolet. Naturally enough for this sort of film, the villains of the piece, follow Malloy and a car chase takes place. As it is a spy film, Malloy’s car comes equipped with rear machine guns, and he disables his pursuers vehicle. And since we are talking about cars, one thing puzzles me about the appearance of Malloy’s black Chevy. I realise the 077 films do not have the budget of a Bond or a Flint, and sometimes things have to be done on the cheap. What I find strange though, is that the film-makers were too lazy to clean the bird-shit off the car windows before shooting the scenes. It is quite strange to see an urbane, sophisticated secret agent driving with two giant ‘splats’ on his driver’s side window, next to his head – classy stuff!

A spy film like this, would be complete without a bevy of beautiful women, and this film has three. The first, I have already mentioned, is Romy Kurtz (Evi Marandi). She’s also a scientist like her father, but unlike him, she has been completing her work in Moscow, and she is not so keen for her father’s work to be handed over to the American’s if Malloy should succeed.

Next we have the evil villainess, Simone Coplan (Fabienne Dali). She gives as good as she gets, and for her trouble she gets slapped around a little bit. Not only does she have to put up with some violent treatment, she has to put up with Malloy saying clumsy dialogue like: ‘Out with it, baby!’ as he crudely tries to interrogate her.

After two thirds of the film have passed, a favourite for fans of Eurospy films, Margaret Lee makes an appearance. Her character is also a secret agent called, Evelyn Stone. When we first meet Stone, she is in Malloy’s hotel suite and taking a shower. She teams up with Malloy at the end to track the villains to their lair and find the Professor. But mostly, she gets to play her signature role, another ditzy blonde. But hey, that’s why we like her!

What makes this film the weakest of the three Ken Clark, Dick Malloy films is that the villains role and character are hardly defined. Goldwyn (Franco Ressel), the architect of this evil plot is barely seen throughout the picture till the very end, and then he is hardly menacing. In fact, Simone Coplan would have been better as ‘the chief’.

From The Orient With Fury is not a complete waste of time, and is a fairly slick Eurospy production, but it does seem to lack direction and a climax worthy of the preceding hundred minutes.

It is not my policy to endorse any particular company or product, but if you searching for a copy of this film, rather than scouring the grey market, Dorado Films Inc, in the United States have released a nice clean copy on DVD.

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Saturday, March 22, 2008

Mission Bloody Mary (1965)

AKA Agent 077 Mission Bloody Mary
Operation Blue Lotus
Directed by Terrence Hathaway (Sergio Grieco)
Ken Clark, Mitsouko, Philippe Hersent, Helga Liné
Music by Angelo Francesco Lavagnino


Mission Bloody Mary is one of the best entries in the Eurospy genre. Ken Clark is Dick Malloy, Agent 077, on the trail of The Black Lotus, an evil organisation who have stolen a nuclear warhead. Sure, the film borrows heavily from Thunderball and even From Russia With Love but is done fairly slickly and paced so rapidly, you don’t have time to notice the holes in the plot.

Let’s look at the holey plot. It’s an absolutely miserable night. As the rain teems down a military jeep makes it’s way toward the Strategic Air Command base in Coatbridge (near Glasgow) A loan airforce officer is driving. As he approaches the base, a young lady, Kuan (Mitsouko), all dressed in red and soaked to the skin, flags him down. Her car has broken down. He offers assistance (who wouldn’t?) For his trouble he ends up with a knife in his belly. Two other men emerge from the shadows. One on them dons an airforce uniform and takes the officers place behind the wheel. He proceeds to the base and past the sentries.

The movie cuts to a montage of newspapers from around the world. Each proclaims that a U.S. aircraft carrying nuclear warheads has crashed in France. In Washington intelligence chiefs have gathered and are discussing the incident. The plane was carrying a new nuclear weapon, the B-32, also known as ‘The Bloody Mary’. When the crash site was examined, the weapon was gone. It is agreed the weapon has be recovered discreetly. The head of the C.I.A., Mr. Heston (Philippe Hersent)assigns his best agent, Dick Malloy. Agent 077 (Ken Clark). Clark is a big hairy mountain of a man, which is a bit of a plus. When he gets into a fist-fight (which happens quite a bit), you can actually believe if he hit you, it would hurt. On the negative side (and this might just be the dubbing), he doesn’t seem too bright. He walks into a lot of traps set by the enemy.

When we first meet Malloy, he is entertaining a young lady. Barely dressed, they are rolling around on the bed, drinking champagne, and listening Nat King Cole records (well that’s the record sleeve beside the player - although it sounds remarkably like an instrumental of the title tune). His nocturnal activities are disrupted when he is called into the office. In the best sense of sixties style and fashion, Malloy slips on a snazzy red turtleneck (and trousers) and heads into the office.

His briefing takes place on the target range, where he is being fitted with a new range of weapons. Heston explains that The Black Lily, an evil organisation, is behind the theft of The Bloody Mary. Their headquarters are in France at the Betz Clinique. Malloy’s contact there will be Dr. Freeman. And in the best tradition of spy movies, there is a code phrase that Malloy will use to identify himself: ‘I am an old friend from San Francisco’.

Sooner rather than later, Malloy turns up at the Betz Clinique and makes his pre-arranged rendezvous with Dr. Freeman. Malloy is delighted to find out that Dr. Freeman is in a fact Elsa Freeman (Helga Liné), a woman.

Mission Bloody Mary has some good scenes. There’s a roof top gun battle, a sequence on a train (what good spy film doesn’t have a train scene?), a barroom brawl, and a stoush in the cargo hold of a ship. And there’s the usual double crossing, and false identities that you’d expect in a spy film. The movie also features a good musical score by Angelo Francesco Lavagnino. It’s a brassy trumpet sound, which at times seems like it would be better suited to a Spaghetti Western than a spy film. But all in all, this is a pretty good Eurospy package.

It is not my policy to endorse any particular company or product, but if you are searching for a copy of this film, rather than scouring the grey market, Dorado Films Inc, in the United States have released a nice clean copy on DVD.

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Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Where Eagles Dare (1968)

Directed by Brian G. Hutton
Richard Burton, Clint Eastwood, Mary Ure, Ingrid Pitt, Derren Nesbitt, Patrick Wymark, Michael Hordern, Anton Differing, Robert Beatty, Donald Houston, Peter Barkworth, William Squire, Neil McCarthy, Brook Williams
Music by Ron Goodwin
Based on the novel by Alistair MacLean


It is often a fine line between some war films and some spy films, but generally the nature of the mission helps to separate the films into their correct categories. There is no mistaking that Saving Private Ryan is a war film. Whereas Where Eagles Dare, I believe is a spy film. At no time are the characters referred to as ‘soldiers’ - they are always referred to as ‘agents’. Also they are dressed in enemy uniform which makes them spies. So Where Eagles Dare is one of the great spy films. It is also one of the great ‘Boys Own Adventures’.

Sure, if you analyse the story carefully, you’ll realise that it is biggest load of nonsense ever contrived. But it was never meant to be art. It was meant to provide thrill-a-minute action, and a plot full of twists and turns. And on that level, Where Eagles Dare succeeds admirably.

The film opens with a German warplane flying over the Austrian Alps. Although it looks German, it is English and it is transporting seven men on a dangerous mission. As the plane moves towards it’s destination, the film flashes back to the mission briefing. They are told that an American General, Carnaby (Robert Beatty), who was travelling by plane to meet his opposite number in Russia, has been shot down. He has been captured and taken to a Nazi fortress called the Schloss Adler in Bavaria. Carnaby holds the key to the Allieds next major offensive and time is of the essence. They must rescue him, before the German’s get any information out of him. The mission is to parachute in, infiltrate the Nazi fortress, rescue the General and get out. Sounds easy, doesn’t it?

Some of the men on the mission are Major Smith (Richard Burton). He is the leader of the group. Next on board is Lieutenant Schaffer (Clint Eastwood). Schaffer is a walking arsenal. Then there’s Capt. James Christiansen (Donald Houston), Edward Berkeley (Peter Barkworth), Capt. Philip Thomas (William Squire), Sgt. Harrod (Brook Williams), and Sgt. Jock MacPherson (Neil McCarthy), who are all M.I.5 operatives.

After the briefing the film cuts back to the mission at hand, and the men parachute out of the plane and into the snow. There’s no point outlining too much of the plot as it would take as long as Alistair MacLean’s novel, on which the film is based. But there are double crosses, triple crosses, and convoluted twists and turns throughout, that will keep you guessing and on the edge of your seat..

You cannot talk about Where Eagles Dare without mentioning the cable car sequence. Two German spies are trying to make their escape down the mountain in a cable car when Smith attempts to stop them by leaping onto the roof of the car as it starts down. On the roof top, he attempts to plant a bomb, but the two spies inside the car, crawl out the windows and onto the roof. It’s a staggeringly suspenseful and well staged action scene, and one that was almost replicated in the James Bond film Moonraker, made eleven years later.

Hardly any of the characters in Where Eagles Dare are who or what they seem and certainly cannot be trusted – with the exception of good old Lt. Schaffer. Eastwood as Schaffer is pretty wooden, but it doesn’t really detract from the film. Eastwood’s acting is really limited to blowing things up or shooting people. It doesn’t require much emoting.

The real star of the movie is Richard Burton as Major Smith, the mission leader. Smith is the only character who really knows what the hell is going on. Even though it’s an action film, Burton still gives a commanding performance. His voice is so authorative, and in places threatening, it’s easy to believe the contrivances the script forces upon his character.

The film also feature’s a couple of beauties. After all this film was made in the sixties, and even a war film still has to adhere to the swinging sixties ethos. Mary Ure stars as Mary Elison, another spy who is working with Smith. And Ingrid Pitt has a small role as the buxom bar wench, Heidi.

Also worth mentioning is Derren Nesbitt as Major Von Harpen. He is the Gestapo Officer at Schloss Adler, and although Nesbitt’s role is fairly small, his presence and threatening persona dominate the middle of the film.

The music by Ron Goodwin is exceptional. It is deliberately melodramatic, and follows the plot twists well. It also makes great use of staccato – almost machine gun style - military drums.

Where Eagles Dare is one of the best films of it’s kind, and despite it’s age, it holds up incredibly well today.

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Monday, March 10, 2008

Cazadores de Espias (1969)

The Mexican film industry's contributions to the 1960s spy craze tend to be on the whimsical side. If they don't feature a masked wrestler in a pivotal role, they tend to be something along the lines of Agente 00 Sexy, in which heroine Amadee Chabot spends a lot of time wearing a Frederick's of Hollywood-style cat costume. Given the overall zany-ness of the field, then, I do not say lightly that Cazadores de Espias (Spy Hunters) may very well be the silliest of them all. Strangely, though, it doesn't start out that way--and that makes watching Cazadores de Espias sort of like watching a movie that's gradually losing its mind.

The nominal star of Cazadores de Espias is Carlos East, a serviceably suave Mexican actor who had previously filled secret agent roles in films like Blue Demon Destructor de Espias and Noche de Muerte. After a relatively sober set-up, however, East takes a backseat to the comedic antics of Eleazar "Chelelo" Garcia and Leonarilda Ochoa, from which point on he makes only intermittent appearances, in scenes that give the impression that he still thinks he's in a serious spy film. These scenes do demonstrate that East is a credible espionage hero, but the fact that they are more often than not followed by a weird musical number, or a scene in which an out-of-shape masked luchadore has a farcical wrestling match with a robot while being cheered on by mini-skirted go-go girls, sort of takes the wind out of his sails. (By the way, a note to novices of Mexican popular cinema: If you're not a fan of broad comic relief characters, avoid all Mexican actors whose screen credit incorporates a whimsical nickname, such as German "Tin Tan" Valdez, Ernesto "Evaristo" Alban, or, most pertinently, Eleazar "Chelelo" Garcia,)

Cazadores is a spy film whose plot--to the extent that I can make it out without the aid of subtitles--revolves around real estate. At issue is a piece of commercial property whose grounds are rich with a particular type of mineral that is useful in making some kind of advanced weapon. There are two competing groups of enemy agents who are trying to get their hands on the property, and in the course of trying to root them out, Interpol agent Ramiro is killed, leaving his brother Ricardo (East) to take his place. The spies have disposed of the building's current owner and think that the property is now theirs to take, but it turns out that the owner had two distant heirs--cousins played by Garcia and Ochoa--who are in line to inherit it. Once those heirs take possession of the building, their elimination becomes the spies' main order of business, followed very closely by the spies' imperative to eliminate one another.

The first group of competing spies is one lead by the masked Mister X, a gang whose super villain uniforms and accoutrements are so ridiculous that they make the trappings of the typical Kommisar X film look like those of a staid John Le Carre adaptation. The second group is lead by the evil beauty Sylvana, who is played by the gorgeous and always welcome Maura Monti. The Italian born Monti was a staple of Mexican genre films during the sixties, starring in a number of espionage films--SOS Conspiracion Bikini and Con Licencia Para Matar--as well as a ton of lucha movies, before retiring from the screen at the outset of the seventies. Fans of quality Mexican cinema will probably remember her most fondly for La Mujer Murcielago, a film in which she wears a costume that's identical to that worn by TV's Batgirl, except in that, where Batgirl wears a skintight body suit, Monti wears mostly just skin.

Judging from the type of roles she usually played, Monti's timely retirement might well have been due to her feeling there was no place for her in a world where minis and white go-go boots were out of fashion. In any case, Cazadores de Espias provides a great showcase for the actress, as not only does she get to model a wardrobe full of colorful and revealing mod fashions, but also to sink her teeth into a wonderfully over-the-top man-eater role. Sylvana's introduction, during which we see her blithely feeding puppies to her pet carnivorous plant as her trembling minions look on, is one of Cazadores' best moments.

While tongue-in-cheek from the get-go, Cazadores de Espias finally takes an irretrievable turn toward the bizarre when it comes to what exactly Garcia and Ochoa plan to do with the property they've inherited. The two bicker for a while over whether to turn it into a wrestling arena or a go-go club, but eventually decide to do both. The result is pretty much what you'd get if you dropped a wrestling ring down in the middle of the Hullabaloo set; mixed in with masked wrestling scenes that broadly parody the largely parody-proof lucha film genre, we get actual performance clips from a number of Mexican pop acts of the period, as well as some more traditional musical numbers from Garcia and Ochoa--all and sundry accompanied by an army of frugging dancing girls in peaked caps and neon minis. When Monti's Sylvana takes a job as the club's star dancer, the deal is sealed, and you just have to either go with Cazadores de Espias' goofy flow or give up on it altogether.

One factor that I'd venture makes Cazadores worth sticking with is the music itself. Not only does it boast a deadly infectious Mexi-spy theme by Cesar Carrion, but its musical numbers feature some acts that are either actually pretty enjoyable or at least interesting for their novelty value. Among them are Los Rockin Devils, who play an appealing sixties-style rocanrol, and the garage psychedelic band Shadow of the Beasts, who play what sounds like a mostly improvised number that devolves into lots of maniacal laughter. It's a far cry from the jazz-inflected languor of the typical spy movie soundtrack, but given the manic nature of what's transpiring on screen, it's a fitting accompaniment.

There are few guarantees in this life, but if you come to Cazadores de Espias expecting an espionage film that is serious on any level, I can guaranty that you will be disappointed. However, if you think that you would enjoy a film that devotes a lot of reckless energy to the task of topping its every successive instance of flamboyant stupidity, this is one you should definitely sign up for. I, of course, love it to death--and depending on your temperament, you can take that as a strike for or against.

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Thursday, March 6, 2008

Ring Around The World (1966)

Directed by Georges Combret, Luigi Scattini
Richard Harrison, Hélène Chanel, Giacomo Rossi-Stuart, Dominique Boschero, Bernard Blier
Music by Piero Umiliani
Songs, ‘I Told Her’ and ‘Mary Lou’ performed by The Bumpers.


Ring Around The World is a very good Eurospy production. If you can find a good print, it is well worth checking out. The story goes like this: An unnamed Killer (Jack Stuart / Giacomo Rossi-Stuart) takes the components of a snipers pistol from a case and assembles it. Into the chamber he inserts an ice bullet. As the credits roll, he goes on a global killing spree. First he guns down a man seated in an outdoor café in Italy. Next he shoots a man on a beach in Rio. Then he moves to a temple in Thailand where his target is on holiday.

After all this carnage, we meet out hero. His name is Fred Lester (Richard Harrison), and he is an investigator for an insurance company. He has been called to London by colleague John Wild. Wild has been investigating the deaths of the three men in the title sequence. It seems that each of the three men had substantial insurance policies, and have listed financial institutions as their beneficiaries, rather than their families. And they all died rather suspiciously from heart attacks.

As Lester enters the insurance company’s headquarters, there is an ear piercing scream, and a man falls to his death in the elevator shaft. No prizes for guessing that this is John Wild. Next, Lester is called into a meeting with the heads of the insurance firm. The men seated around the table are Mr. Sanders, Viscount Berry, Sir Joseph Ashley, and Sir Anthony Queen. They assign Lester to continue the Wild’s work.

Lester starts his investigation at Wild’s apartment at South Eaton Place. On the desk he sees a flyer for the Le Macabre Nightclub. As he examines it, the phone rings. Lester answers it, pretending to be Wild. On the other end of the line is an elderly gent called MacMurray.

He says, ‘They’ve got Yo-Yo. They’re looking for me. I can’t stay here. I’ll give back all the money, you’re right, they don’t want it. They want to kill me.’ Once MacMurray realises it isn’t Wild on the phone, he panics and hangs up.
Lester returns to headquarters and digs up MacMurray’s insurance policy. Sure enough, it is for one hundred thousand pounds. Lester gleans the address and makes his way there, only to find that MacMurray doesn’t live there anymore. It appears that MacMurray is a bit of a rapscallion. He has abandoned his wife, who he only married for money in the first place, and has now run off with a nightclub singer called Yo-Yo.

Lester puts two and two together and works out that Yo-Yo must perform at Le Macabre, so he makes that his next port of call. Le Macabre is a swingin’ sixties go-go pad, and Lester’s job is made incredibly easy when Yo-Yo (Dominique Boschero) approaches him on entry. She wants to dance. He wants information. They go to her room backstage.

After a bit of gentle intimidation, Yo-Yo gives Lester MacMurray’s address at Embankment Gardens. Lester is on the move again, but this time he is being tailed by the Killer. As Lester steps into the elevator at MacMurray’s apartment, the Killer steps in also. Lester is a pretty smart cookie and knows he has been followed. “We’re looking for the same person,” he says. At MacMurray’s apartment, both men are ushered in by a servant. But all is not as it seems as the servant is working with the Killer. He bids the men to sit down and wait, and offers to make them a cup of tea. Naturally, Lester’s has poison in it. Lester chooses not to partake in the tea ritual and pulls a gun, but as the Killer distract Lester, the servant sneaks up on Lester from behind. Lester is clubbed unconscious.

Lester remains unconscious as the Killer and his henchman drive out of town until they come to a railway crossing. The plan is to leave Lester in the car, in the middle of the tracks and, well you can guess the rest... As the train approaches, Lester awakens and with a well placed kung-fu chop knocks out the henchman. Then he leaps from the car as the train collides with it. The Killer is nowhere to be seen.

Upset by his experience, Lester returns to Le Macabre to find Yo-Yo. Not surprisingly, she has packed up her things and scarpered. But after a bit of biffo with two burley bouncers, he discovers her address and heads around to her apartment. She isn’t home, so he waits in the dark for her to arrive. Upon arrival, Lester asks her once again about MacMurray’s whereabouts, but this time at gunpoint. He isn’t too happy. He is told that MacMurray has fled to Rio, and staying with a man called Hernandez, who has a store in the Old Bazaar section.

Lester lands in Rio and makes his way around to Hernandez’s store. Hernandez says that another man (The Killer) has already been to see him regarding MacMurray’s location. Lester thinks he is too late. MacMurray is hiding out in the Hotel Americano, in the village of Gabia. The village is one hundred miles from Rio and only accessible by airplane. Luckily, Hernandez knows a pilot with a small plane who can get him there quickly. So Lester is off once again. It is dizzying keeping up with him.

At the back of the shop MacMurray is held at gunpoint by The Killer. And the man Lester thought was Hernandez is really another of The Killer’s minions, and at the airfield another plot is being put in place to eliminate Lester. A bomb is fixed to the engine of the plane, with a timer set to go off at two o’clock. Lester arrives at the airfield, boards the plane. Once they are in the air, he finds it strange that the pilot is already wearing a crash helmet and a parachute. The pilot explains that it is ‘company policy’. As two o’clock approaches, the pilot tries to leap from the plane, but as he jumps, Lester latches onto him and free-falls with him. Once the parachute has been deployed, Lester strangles the pilot mid air, and then glides down safely.

On the ground, Lester continues on to the Hotel Americano in Gabia, but it is deserted. The caretaker explains that it went out of business a year ago. Lester’s next move is to phone Hernandez. This time he gets the real one, who says that MacMurray was at the Hotel Americano in Brasilia. You guessed it. Lester’s on the move once more. In Brasilia, the local police explain that MacMurray is dead. They found him in the hotel swimming pool, cramped up. They say it must have been an accident, but Lester knows better.

That’s the end of the race to save MacMurray, but back in England there’s another policy holder who has gone missing. His name is Brightford and his daughter Mary (Sherrill Morgan) is worried about him. Lester is assigned to find Brightford, and naturally Mary tags along. I’ll leave the synopsis there, but let me asure you, there’s plenty more to come, and it is well worth your time.

With a title like Ring Around The World, you’d expect the film to feature some impressive locations. And the film doesn’t let us down. The first of note is the city of Brasilia. For those interested, the city was designed by Brazilian architect and urban planner, Lucio Costa. Major buildings were designed by Oscar Niemeyer and landscape designer Roberto Burle Marx planned the layout. The movie features the uniquely shaped buildings, art and sculpture and wide streets as a backdrop, particularly during a car chase sequence. For those who’d like to see a bit more of the city will strangely have to go to Rio (746 miles away). Or more precisely watch That Man from Rio (L’Homme de Rio) with Jean Paul Belmondo or The Girl From Rio (The Seven Secrets Of Sumuru) with Shirley Eaton.

The other noteworthy location is used in the denouement. The final shootout takes place in the Tiger Balm Gardens, also known as Aw Boon Haw Gardens, a popular tourist attraction in Hong Kong. The gardens were created by Aw Boon Haw, who made his fortune from the sale of Tiger Balm. It’s a great setting and visually gives the movie and organic yet slightly surreal feeling.

A quick word about the soundtrack by Piero Umiliani. It is an absolute knockout. It is pounding, it’s jazzy, it’s swinging sixties. It’s almost worth watching the film for the soundtrack alone.

This review is based on the Retromedia Entertainment Inc DVD. This is part of a Richard Harrison double feature which also includes the movie Terminal Force

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Wednesday, March 5, 2008

The Champions

Late last year, spurred on by a marathon viewing session of The Avengers, I became obsessed with learning more about the many other British spy and adventure series from around the same time. Some of them have been released on DVD in the US, making the exploration rather easy going. But many others were available only in the UK or Australia, and given the soaring power of the American dollar against the British pound, buying DVD box sets from England was a a mission of significant financial difficulty. Luckily, England gets into a real post-Christmas high, resulting in places like Amazon UK having sales during which you can buy British goods for 70-80% off their list price -- making them affordable even to us suckers still trading in American greenbacks.


So I bought up a whole bunch of great stuff, including The Baron, Honey West, the Man from UNCLE movie set, Man in a Suitcase, and a show called The Champions. Aside from UNCLE, and aside from having seen a photo of Anne Francis in her slinky Honey West catsuit, I knew very little about any of the series, but most of them came from the same minds and production team that gave me stuff I already knew I liked, so I was game to gamble a few pounds.

Most of these series were produced in the wake of The Avengers, by a studio called ITC. At the time, there was a political mandate that British television programming should be educational and important, resulting in a parade of dreary, black and white dramas that I'm sure were full of political and artistic merit but hardly made for a compelling reason not to go see the latest James Bond film. After The Avengers bucked the trend, ITC decided to follow suit and produce a string of big budget adventure series, filmed in color to make them more appealing both to viewers and (more importantly, perhaps) to American TV channels, and boasting superb production values in order to compete more evenly with movies. Most of the shows also starred an American so as to increase their chances of distribution in the US. To put it succinctly, it was a good time to be watching British television.

Among these shows, Patrick McGoohan's The Prisoner stood out from the pack as the most ambitious -- and certainly the most bizarre, even when measured against the quirkiness on display in The Avengers. Both of these shows blended familiar espionage adventure tropes with science fiction, and in the case of The Prisoner, with rather bold social and political messages. Apparently inspired by the innovation of The Prisoner, prolific adventure series creator Monty Berman decided he wanted to do a spy series with science fiction and fantastic overtones. The result was The Champions.

While returning from a mission in China, three spies (Stuart Damon as Craig Stirling, Alexandra Bastedo as Sharron Macready, and William Gaunt as Richard Barrett) are shot down over the Himilayas, where they are rescued from certain death by a mysterious monk who happens to be a member of a lost race dwelling high in the mountains and possessed of incredible superhuman powers. In healing the three agents, the monks also imbue them with super powers, including increased resilience, strength, jumping ability, and ESP. Armed with their new powers -- but also struggling to figure out how to use them -- the trio returns to Europe and undertake a series of adventures that would, obviously, become the television show.

It's a pretty good premise, and although these fantastic elements set the show apart from other spy series of the time (at least until the Brits started pairing up cops with the ghosts of their murdered partner), they don't push it entirely into the realm of the fantastic. For the most part, it's a straight-forward espionage thriller series, albeit one where we occasionally zoom in on someone's eyes while they make "ESP face" or jump over a big rock. It's not nearly as political or intellectually challenging as the series that inspired it, but that doesn't mean it isn't a rollicking good time.

The exploits of our three heroes take them all over the globe -- realized through the usual mix of location footage and sound studios -- including Tibet, China, across Europe in pursuit of Peter Wyngarde (himself a major star of these types of series -- but we shall come to Jason King in due time), and even to the Antarctic. Plenty of action, plenty of suspense -- an all-around great show that keeps a frothy, breezy pace.

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Monday, March 3, 2008

Interpol 009 (1967)

Interpol 009 has everything you'd want in a 1960s spy movie--except for a memorable villain, a spectacular crime, and audacious action set pieces. On balance that leaves you with attractive stars, lots of nicely photographed scenes shot in glamorous locations, some nice cars, and a lot of fun gadgets. Fortunately, thanks to its amiable tone and sure-handed technical delivery, that's enough to make Interpol 009, if far from a dazzling entertainment, at least a pleasant way to wile away an hour or so with a cocktail (or two).

One of the exactly four hundred billion James Bond knock-offs made throughout the world in 1967, Interpol 009 is one of a handful of examples churned out by Hong Kong's Shaw Brothers studio. It was directed by Ko Nakahira (aka Yeung Shu Hie) who, like Asia-Pol director Akinori Matsuo (aka Mai Chi Ho), was one of a number of Japanese directors who survived lean times in the Japanese film industry by doing work in Hong Kong during that decade. Much like Asia-Pol, the film has a more opened-up, heavily location shot look than the typical, more set-bound Shaw spy effort of its time--thanks largely to the work of Japanese cinematographer Tadashi Nishimoto, who also lensed the series of sumptuously colorful Shaw musicals--Hong Kong Rhapsody, Hong Kong Nocturne, etc.--directed by his fellow countryman Umetsugu Inoue.

The typical--usually Lo Wei-helmed--Shaw spy films, however, tended to make up for their being a bit rough-edged by providing a modicum of cheesy kiddie matinee thrills--such as hooded villains with armies of outlandishly costumed minions and wild space-age subterranean lairs. Both Interpol 009 and Asia-Pol, on the other hand, seem content to get by on their slick delivery and stylish tone, without going out of their way to deliver much in the way of spectacle. This is especially true of Interpol 009, because, while Asia-Pol did try to add a little grit to its tale of international crime-busting, Interpol 009 seems largely intended to be just a good natured exercise in cool for the sake of cool.

Interpol 009's action kicks off with the murder of an Interpol agent in the Philippines. Because the agent was a Chinese national, Interpol's London office decides to send their best and most Chinese agent, Chen Tianhong--aka agent 009--to investigate (after a painfully clumsy scene of the actors speaking in phonetic English--during which Chen Tianhong seems to refer to a neighboring building as "delusional"). Once in Manila, Chen finds that the dead agent had uncovered evidence of an international counterfeiting ring smuggling phony US dollars from Hong Kong to Manila hidden in renovated cars. In terms of scale, this is not the most Bondian of schemes, but Hong Kong espionage films of the period tended to shy away from politics, preferring instead to focus on crimes that were less ideologically driven, such as counterfeiting or smuggling--or, in this case, both.



I should mention at this point that Agent 009 is played by Tang Ching, who, to my mind, is the best of all of Shaw's Bond proxies. With his weathered good looks he is far less bland than The Golden Buddha's Paul Chang, and infinitely more manly than Asia-Pol's adolescent-looking Jimmy Wang Yu. He is also the most adept at projecting the air of rakish sophistication, combined with sardonic self-awareness, that these kind of roles require--something he also handily proved in the wonderful mod caper picture Summons to Death and his costarring roles with Lily Ho in both of the Angel With the Iron Fists films. This is a quality that director/writer Nakihira makes good use of, providing the actor with several moments of prime 1960s era caddishness, such as when a woman Chen is about to bed asks if he's slept with one of the other female characters and he replies, "No, it's not her turn yet."

Interpol 009's plot tends to depend on happy coincidences to move it along (such as when a room in which Chen is trapped also happens to contain all of the necessary ingredients to make nitro-glycerin) and the first of those coincidences occurs during Chen's flight from Manila to Hong Kong, where he happens to meet two women traveling separately who both end up being of key importance to the story and his investigation. One is a woman played by Margaret Tu Chuan--who, as far as I could tell, was only referred to by her underlings as "Third Sister" when she was referred to by name at all--who turns out to be the leader of the crime ring's HK/Manila operation. The other is Pingping, a nightclub singer played by Shen Yi whose boyfriend, we later learn, has gotten on the wrong side of the gang by embezzling ten thousand dollars worth of counterfeit bills.

Chen is posing as a professional gambler, and once he arrives in Hong Kong he manages to get himself arrested and thrown in jail as a means of working his way into the HK demimonde. As a result of this episode, he finds himself fitted with a comic sidekick in the form of Huang Mao (a less annoying than he could be Lee Kwan), a local pickpocket and gambler who gains Chen entrance to an underground casino at which patrons play with US dollars. This casino turns out to be one of the gang's numerous fronts, and Chen's presence there alerts the hoods to the fact that he's a problem that needs to be dealt with. Thus is initiated the round of attempted assassinations that Chen must evade while trying to get to the top of the organization's power structure and locate their money printing operation.

To tell you the truth, a lot of the plot of Interpol 009 either didn't make any sense or was just more complicated than I was willing to dedicate my attention to. In fact, it never even seemed to reach a full resolution since, though Chen does succeed in foiling the local operation, he never does find out who's in charge at the higher level. Still, I think the important thing is that the movie looks great, never loses its sense of cool, and includes such technological wonders as a shoe-launched lasso; a watch with a glass cutter, camera and file that also emits smoke; a bullet-firing ring; and--my favorite--chewing gum that turns to steel when sprayed with perfume. which can then be used to pick locks (though I must say that gum chewing doesn't look so suave on a secret agent).

While Interpol 009 is definitely light on big action set pieces, it does try to kick things up in the last act, giving us a thrilling and brilliantly lensed shoot-out in a luxurious villa where Chen, cornered by an army of armed goons, swings from a chandelier as he sprays the room with machine gun fire. For the most part, though, while I wouldn't say that the film's pacing is slow, it is definitely relaxed. This languorous tempo is perfectly exemplified by the film's version of the old "ticking clock" scenario, in which Chen and Huang Mao are chained up in a sealed room with a time bomb. Of course, Third Sister sets the bomb's timer for two hours, which gives the two plenty of time to free themselves, whip up a batch of nitro-glycerin from those aforementioned handy ingredients, and probably make sandwiches before it goes off.

Despite all this, though, Interpol 009 goes down smooth and easy. After all, who says a spy thriller needs to jangle your nerves all the time with sudden bursts of activity and unexpected twists? Maybe once in a while you'd like to get your dose of sixties secret agent cool in the form of a slow drip, rather than a mainline injection. If so, keep this movie on hand, because sooner or later you'll find yourself in the perfect mood for it.

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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The 39 Steps (1935)

Alfred Hitchcock's original 1935 version of The 39 Steps is one of those films that's so seminal that when watched today it can seem like little more than a parade of hoary old clichés; that is, until you consider that The 39 Steps is where many of those clichés originated. The film lays a foundation that countless espionage thrillers have built upon and continue to build upon to the present day. It's all here: The innocent everyman abroad who's drawn into a web of intrigue by an encounter with a mysterious and exotic woman; the shadowy international criminal organization whose reach is so extensive that it's impossible to know who can be trusted; the ardently sought-after "MacGuffin" that sets the plot in motion despite ultimately being inconsequential to the outcome; the criminal mastermind with an identifying disfigurement who hides behind a genteel facade of upper-class respectability; the urbane, witty hero who has a way with the ladies, etc. And while it's hero takes the train rather than hopping the globe on a luxury airliner, The 39 Steps is worth considering as a necessary precursor to the jet setting spy capers that would follow in its wake some thirty years later.

Based very loosely on John Buchan's 1915 novel of the same name, The 39 Steps concerns Richard Hannay (Robert Donat), a vacationing Canadian businessman who meets up with an enigmatic woman named Annabella Smith (Lucie Mannheim) while fleeing a ruckus at a London music hall. After convincing Hannay to let her take shelter in his lodgings, Smith divulges that she is an agent working for the British government, and that she is working to prevent agents of a foreign power--men, she says, "who will stop at nothing"--from smuggling air defense secrets out of the country (an enterprise that required a considerable amount of leg work in those days before fax machines and email). Not too surprisingly, someone breaks into Hannay's digs and pins a dagger in Ms. Smith's back before the night is through, and she is only able to hand Hannay a map to a location in Scotland and gasp something about "the 39 Steps" before expiring.

Just as you or I would do, Hannay foregoes contacting the authorities, evades Annabella's killers, and, with map in hand, hops on the next train to Scotland, ready to embroil himself in a deadly game of international espionage despite not being equipped in the least to do so. By this time, Annabella's body has been discovered in Hannay's apartment, ensuring that his search for the 39 Steps will be hampered by the unwelcome attentions of both the forces of the law and those of the foreign spies. This situation forces him to ditch the train on which he's been riding and make his way across the fog enshrouded Scottish countryside on his own, with nothing but his wits and charm to get him by.

Over the course of a series of tight scrapes and daring escapes, Hannay finds himself on the run while handcuffed to Pamela (Madeleine Carroll), a young woman who has reluctantly become enmeshed in his predicament simply as a result of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. This circumstance adds an element of romantic comedy to The 39 Steps, and also allows Hitchcock an opportunity to cheekily flaunt the then stringent restrictions of the British censors--due to the fact that the unmarried couple, because of the handcuffs, must not only share a room, but a bed as well. Ultimately, the initially combative Pamela comes to believe Hannay's version of events and, after divesting themselves of the cuffs, the two strive to solve the riddle of the 39 steps and foil the plans of Professor Jordan (Godfrey Tearle), the stump-fingered mastermind who masquerades as a pillar of society while scheming to betray his country. Of course, their success depends on them surviving their shadowy enemies' repeated attempts to eliminate them.

The 39 Steps manages to remain a thoroughly engaging entertainment despite the over-familiarity of so many of its elements, largely due to Hitchcock's typically masterful pacing and ambitious visual style. The director here pulls off some visuals that, though they would today only be a matter of a few keystrokes, boggle the mind at the thought of how difficult they must have been to achieve at the time (witness, for instance, what's made to look like a seamless pan from the set-bound interior of a car to the exterior of an actual car speeding off down the road). Robert Donat as Hannay also serves to keep things interesting, and gives the proceedings a distinctly modern flavor, thanks to a sardonic wit that distinguishes him from the more square-cut and upright type of hero we might expect to find in a thriller of this vintage. Madeleine Carroll, likewise, matches him point for point, and the verbal jousting matches between the two serve to keep things crisp and lively.

The 39 Steps was one of Hitchcock's first international successes, and these seventy-plus years later it's still not hard to see why. That it's venerable old formula can still bear results is testament to the fact that such tales of romance and international intrigue, when told with the right amount of wit and style, are a long way from wearing out their welcome.

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Thursday, February 7, 2008

Temptress of a Thousand Faces

Thanks to the release over the past few years of a large portion of the Shaw Brothers catalog on DVD, it should no longer be a secret to anyone who cares that the venerable Hong Kong studio was responsible for far more than the martial arts movies that got imported to the U.S. or horror movies in which people vomit up snakes. Among the more delightful discoveries to come out of this digital mother lode is the handful of James Bond inspired pictures churned out by the studio during the late sixties. Of course, since most of these movies don't actually feature any spies or espionage (among the exceptions being the Angel With the Iron Fists series, which features Lilly Ho as a lady super spy ranked Agent 009) that influence is expressed mainly in terms of attitude and design. Films like The Golden Buddha and Summons to Death, for instance, share more in terms of narrative with romantic Hitchcock thrillers like North by Northwest or To Catch a Thief, yet still manage to include space age hidden compounds, knife's edge haberdashery, consumer objects with lethal hidden functions and, most importantly, a world well stocked with beautiful young women to serve as a sexual supermarket for the films' well-heeled and limitlessly mobile male protagonists.

Out of all these films, the 1968 actioner Temptress of a Thousand Faces comes the closest to being an exercise in pure style. Loaded with kink and anarchy--and set to a furious pace that both obliterates and makes redundant the need for coherence--it's a perfect example of the type of cinema experience that leaves you no choice but to simply let it wash over you. Furthermore, with it's focus on the heated and sexually charged conflict between two ass-kicking female leads, it's not only a precursor of the "Girls With Guns" HK films of the early 90s, but a virtual model for the frenetic violence and explosive Sapphic shenanigans of one of the gloriously trashy touchstones of that genre, Clarence Ford's 1992 Naked Killer. Since splashy style, riotous mod era design and latent lesbianism, all freed from the constraints of coherent storytelling are pretty much my bread and butter, it should come as no surprise that this one is a favorite of mine.

The film centers on the exploits of a shrewdly self promoting mistress of disguise, The Temptress of a Thousand Faces, who has captured the public imagination with a series of daring robberies. Seemingly eager to control her public image--and to perhaps prevent the media from saddling her with a less tongue-tripping appellation (seriously, try shouting that name in alarm the way so many character in this movie do so frequently)--she helpfully leaves a business card at the scene of each crime, and in one case presents a forged check with a signature that, once she has made her getaway, magically transforms to announce her true title before the check itself bursts into flames. Severe-yet-stylish-and-also-super-cute lady police detective Ji Ying (Tina Chin Fei), seeing the Temptress as a threat to the stability of society itself, makes a television appearance to denounce the arch villainess, which appears to somehow raise the Temptress's ire instantaneously. (In a perfect example of Temptress's dedication to breathless pacing over narrative logic, a crowd watches Ji Ying's statement on a stack of televisions displayed in the window of an electronics shop which, for no visible reason, erupts in a massive explosion the second the broadcast ends, an event that is never referred to once we've quickly moved on to the next scene.) Later that evening, after receiving delivery of a drugged rose, Ji Ying finds herself making the first of a long series of involuntary visits to the Temptress's secret lair.

The Temptress's cavernous subterranean lair, cartoonishly artificial, filled with outlandish props and bathed in lots of fog and Bava-esque colored lighting, is exactly the kind of set that Shaw Studios excelled at during its heyday - and it was undoubtedly reused as the lair of some sinister clan or other in one or more of their later martial arts movies. The Temptress, taking the decorative approach to human resourcing, has populated this spacious piece of super-villainous real estate with a retinue of veiled handmaidens, a small army of masked ninjas, and a number of machine gun toting female guards in black biker shorts. It is here that Ji Ying first finds herself at the mercy of the Temptress--and re-costumed in a flimsy negligee for the occasion. The Temptress first puts her through her paces, giving Ji Ying a chance to display her formidable kung fu in combat with the assorted ninjas and guards. Then it's time for some torture of a not entirely clear nature, involving spinning around really fast in a big glass chamber with flashing lights and sparks. (It certainly looks uncomfortable, but the agonized grimacing of its subject seems to imply that, beyond looking really cool, it's potentially lethal.)

Though it's elsewhere made clear that the Temptress has no qualms about killing folks who get in her way, she's content to let Ji Ying off with a warning, leaving open the option to again kidnap her and subject her to further abuse. In fact, as the movie progresses, it seems that the committing of daring robberies has moved down a couple of points on the Temptress's agenda to be replaced by the mandate to abduct and torment Ji Ying at every possible opportunity. Of course, by this point, it is not just Ji Ying, but also Ji Ying's lunky hunky boyfriend Yuk Dat who has become the object of the Temptress's obsession. And with that triangle established, the rest of the movie unfolds like a Jerry Springer catfight absurdly played out on the scale of grand action spectacle. The Temptress caps off her final imprisonment of Ji Ying by forcing her to watch via hidden camera as she, disguised as Ji Ying, seduces and makes love to Yuk Dat in his apartment. Of course, Ji Ying isn't one to react to such incursions passively and--no sooner than you can say "Oh no she di'int"--has, at the expense of many ninja lives, made a rage-fueled, lingerie-clad jailbreak and is zeroing in on the Temptress with payback in mind.

Like the other Shaw Brothers "spy" films mentioned up top, Temptress of a Thousand Faces is not, by nature of its story or setting, an actual spy film, but it has all of the trappings associated with those type of films of its era. In addition to the Temptress's fortified hidden lair and super-scientific implements of mayhem, we're treated to exploding compacts, trap doors, leering sexism, narrow escapes through secret passages, exotic girls dancing to surfy lounge music, and even pilfered bits of John Barry's score from You Only Live Twice (a film that a couple of sequences in Temptress owe a particular debt to). But the sixties spy movie trope that is most central to the film is the method of disguise employed by the titular villain, that great old Mission Impossible gag in which a clunky rubber mask magically assumes the texture and appearance of human skin once patted down onto the face, transforming the wearer, regardless of bone structure or body type, into the exact likeness of one of the other characters. Keep in mind that the Temptress's disguise as Ji Ying has to bear up to some very intimate scrutiny and you'll get a sense of just how far this already ridiculous scenario is pushed.

What sets Temptress apart from the other films mentioned, however, is the total extent to which its action is driven by its female characters. Even in the Angel With the Iron Fists films, the female hero is provided with a male co-star to help with the heavy lifting, but not here. The male love interest, Yuk Dat, is squarely placed in the traditional female role of lust object and imperiled victim, and, in a gender-reversed take on the third act business typical of these films, it's the need for Ji Ying to effect his rescue that sets the climax in motion. Interestingly, Yuk Dat is only able to move the action forward himself by dressing in female drag, as he does when he impersonates the Temptress to clear Ji Ying of a crime she's been framed for.

Temptress was directed by Chang-hwa Jeong, who is probably best know for directing King Boxer, aka Five Fingers of Death. Not surprisingly, it's a solid action film, loaded from start to finish with furious, multi-person fights and fast paced chases. Handily fulfilling both of the movie's primary objectives, Jeong films these sequences in an exciting manner while always managing to shoot the mini-skirted female participants from an angle designed to please the panty fetishists in the audience. He also shows a real eye for strikingly stylized compositions and lens-popping color, making Temptress a pop art cinematic comic book that is, if not in the same league of Danger: Diabolik, at least in the same ball park.

That Temptress can contain the clashing combination of slick style and mild sleaze referred to above is not that mean of a feat. Like a lot of Hong Kong cinema, it has it's share of conflicting tones (including some extremely broad slapstick), but manages to blend these better than most, glossing over its inconsistencies by way of sheer velocity. When it grinds to a halt at the end with an instance of painfully unfunny sexual comedy, you really see this made plain. The moment jars not because it is the film's most outrageous (it probably isn't), but because it occurs at a moment when the film has finally stopped to take a breath, thus giving you the opportunity to savor just how stank it is. That aside, Temptress of a Thousand Faces is a crazy, shiny object that stands out for me from an era and genre filled with crazy, shiny objects--one that, over the years, I have been pleased to repeatedly take from its box and twirl between my fingers. Seek it out and enjoy.

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Thursday, October 11, 2007

Lightning Bolt

Eurospy films are like any other continental knock-off of a popular American or British genre. Some are very good and quite lavish, managing to rise above small budgets to deliver a slick looking little thriller full of beautiful women, sets, and locations. Others are threadbare pieces of junk that will bore you to tears. And some are utterly bizarre and incompetent in the most wonderfully enjoyable of fashions. Lightning Bolt falls closer to the last description.


Just about every Eurospy film that got made during the craze that began right after the death of peplum and right before the rise of spaghetti westerns got made because of the success of the James Bond films, and most of the Eurospy movies aren't shy about wearing their influences on their sleeve. For some, it was by way of casting one of the many European actors who played a villain or a love interest in a Bond film. Thunderball's Adolfo Celli appeared in several Eurospy productions, as did Bond girls like From Russia With Love's Daniela Bianchi. Bernard "M" Lee and Lois "Miss Moneypenny" Maxwell actually both starred as characters very similar to their Bond characters in a Eurospy film starring Sean Connery's younger brother, Neil, who was passed off as 007's brother in a way vague enough to avoid being sued by the producers of the Bond films. For most, however, it was simply a case of repeating the formula and mimicking the ad campaigns.

Lightning Bolt
is particularly obvious about its intentions to compare itself to Thunderball, which came out in the same year, right down to the tag line, "Lightning Bolt -- He Strikes Like a Ball of Thunder!" The main villain, however, is straight out of Goldfinger with a dash of the Matt Helm film The Ambushers, of all things, thrown in. The original Italian title, in fact, works as hard to recall Goldfinger as the American one does to recall Thunderball. Unless you think Operacione Goldman is a coincidence.

The plot -- in which a nefarious arch villain is using laser waves to misguide and blow up moon rockets launched from Cape Canaveral, is actually quite similar to the plot of the Nick Carter novel, Operation Moon Rocket, which was published in 1968. Although it seems unlikely that an obscure Italian spy movie would have been an influence on the Nick Carter novels, it's certainly still a possibility. The Nick Carter stable of authors was varied, after all, and they were drawing ideas from everywhere.

So here we go. NASA is in trouble. Every moon rocket they've tested has exploded into a great, fiery ball, though whether or not it's a thunderball remains debatable. The scientists are convinced that computers and technology behind the rockets are sound, so the only answer must be sabotage. Lt. Harry Sennet (American actor Anthony Eisley) is called in to get to the bottom of things. His cover, naturally, is that of a rich, womanizing playboy looking for good times and big boobs along Florida' coast, which has been visited by just about every 1960s spy from James Bond to Matt Helm. Assisting Sennet on his mission is bombshell captain Patricia Flanagan, another genre stalwart who had appeared in everything from The Awful Dr. Orloff to Superargo and the Faceless Giants. In between gratuitous but welcome scenes of Sennet cruising around the bikini-clad babes lounging about the hotel swimming pool area and frequent grainy stock footage of rockets from NASA, our tale of intrigue is woven, and it leads to a powerful, um, beer brewer (thus the Matt Helm movie similarity). But this is a Eurospy film, and one of the wackier ones at that, so this particular evil brewmeister (who bears more than a passing resemblance to Gert "Goldfinger" Frobe), has a laser he uses to blow up rockets from his -- get this -- space age underwater lair where he keeps his biggest enemies frozen in a state of suspended animation so he can thaw them out from time to time to taunt them and get them up to speed on the success of his mad, evil schemes.

Although the production is cheap and the plot is outlandish, this is actually a pretty fun little adventure. Anthony Eisley looks tough and handsome, and he's probably one of the few spies in any of these movies who begins his mission by trying to buy off the bad guys -- with a check! Imagine Sean Connery asking Robert Shaw how much money he'd need not to kill Bond, then saying, "OK, mind if I write you a check?" They don't even accept checks at the grocery store where I shop! The women surrounding Eisley are ridiculously gorgeous, which is one of the things even the cheapest of Eurospy films could get right. The set designs are actually pretty impressive considering the budget and have a swanky 1960s pop art feel to them. There's plenty of fist fights, lots of clumsy sexual innuendo, shoot outs, sea plane flying, and then the whole finale in the undersea fortress. A-ha! James Bond producers must have paid this movie back by stealing that idea for The Spy Who Loved Me.

A lot of the film's energy undoubtedly comes from director Antonio Margheriti, possibly the most prolific of all Italian action and thriller directors. Margheriti, who was often renamed "Anthony Dawson" when his films were exported to America, directed his fair share of clunkers, but the bulk of his career is filled with perfectly acceptable genre films, and a few genuine classics. Lightning Bolt, like most Eurospy films, is completely ludicrous, but it's not as if anyone involved with the film doesn't seem aware of that. There's a playful sense of fun, almost tongue in cheek, that makes the film a great deal more entertaining than it might otherwise be.

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Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Think Fast, Mr. Moto

"Mr. Moto is a very difficult fellow to kill." -- Mr. Moto

Recently, a commenter brought up a point that, in my review of Macao when I was discussing fake Asian characters in old American movies, I characterize Peter Lorre's Mr. Moto as being an Asian super-sleuth like Charlie Chan when, in fact, Moto is a heroic spy and his films are not mysteries but are, rather, adventures.


As penance for my informational misstep, I figured I should review a Mr. Moto film, and that if I was going to review a Mr. Moto film, it might as well be the first one, 1937's Think Fast, Mr. Moto. I'm pleased, upon completion of the movie, to report that, while the commenter was correct, so was I. It seems that the specific nature of Mr. Moto changes as the series progresses, and while he is most definitely an adventuring spymaster later in the series, at least for this first film he is identified as an import-export businessman who, like Bulldog Drummond and the Thin Man, dabble sin detective work and sleuthing as a hobby. But even if I defend my comparison of Moto to Chan with that, there's still no getting around the fact that, other than the detective work and the fact that a white actor is playing an Asian, Moto and Chan are pretty different, both in terms of character and the movies they inhabit.

For starters, the Moto films were b-movies while, at least at first, the Charlie Chan films were A-list. But that's not to say that the Mr. Moto series is cheap or in any way shoddy. These are some of the best looking b-movies you're likely to see, heads above the Poverty Row productions that came to define b-movies and, at the worst, just a hair shy of A-list production -- thanks in large part to the ability of the series to recycle sets from more prominent movies, including the Charlie Chan movies. And while the Chan films were largely old school parlor mysteries, the Mr. Moto films are all about action. Moto is a master of judo, and he has no problem whipping it out every ten minutes or so for a fight scene, making these more action-adventure films than traditional mysteries.

For the first of the series, we meet Mr. Moto while he is on the trail of murderous smugglers, a trail that leads him from San Francisco to Hawaii aboard a luxury steamer, and finally to Shanghai, where he befriends a well-meaning young rich guy about to assume control of a business that may very well be the nexus point of the smuggling operation. Along the way, Peter Lorre's stunt double will toss people around like a rag doll and romance a Chinese telephone operator who, despite being a Chinese woman living in China, speaks with the sassy, "So I says to Mabel" accent that I guess is inherent in all telephone switchboard operators.

I've written before on my thoughts regarding Caucasians masquerading as Asians in old movies, so I'm not going to repeat myself here. As with the Chan films, if you can get over some of the obvious racial missteps, Think Fast, Mr. Moto presents an exceptionally positive portrayal of Asians. They are certainly more progressive than people often give them credit for being. Moto is, first of all, the good guy. He's always one step ahead, and he's always the one who has to come to the rescue of the white folks and explain everything in the end. Lorre's portrayal of Moto is very human. He neither strays into the water of bucktoothed "Ah so" caricature nor the stoic, robotic "inscrutable Asian" act. Instead, Moto is played like an actual member of the human race. Soft spoken and polite most of the time, but more than willing to be happy or angry.

Think Fast, Mr. Moto is pretty good cinema. The mystery that is central to the plot is, actually, hardly central to the plot. Half the time, you'll forget there's even a mystery to be solved. But it doesn't matter, as simply going along with Moto for the ride is a lot of fun. I'm definitely looking forward to others in the series.

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Monday, October 1, 2007

Macao

Macao starring one of our favorite half-asleep actors, Robert Mitchum, is an exceptionally good thriller, not exactly a noir film but a solid old school crime thriller with good pacing, cool characters, and a great twist. Despite the exotic setting, it doesn't bank too heavily on the "shadowy Chinatown" style of filmmaking, and there are no Caucasians in fake eyelids parading about. Actually, no, there is apparently one, but it's so well done that i didn't even notice. In fact, there are very few Asian characters at all, other than a couple of assassins and a lot of background extras. Instead, the film focuses on a small group of ex-patriots who have converged on the infamously decadent and borderline lawless Portuguese colony.


Big time crook Vincent Halloran runs an upscale gambling parlor in the colony, where he must stay, a spider trapped in his own web, for fear of the British police waiting to arrest him for a whole host of crimes committed in Hong Kong, the most recent of which involved the murder of an undercover cop from New York. Unfortunately for the Brits, they have no jurisdiction in Macao, and the corrupt Portuguese officials are happy to have Halloran in their country. Enter a trio of Americans who arrive via steamer for a variety of reasons. Tough talking brunette Julie (Jane Russell) is looking to start over as a singer, after wandering the world and becoming disillusioned with its inhabitants. Goofy salesman Lawrence Trumble (William Bendix) is looking to set up shop and make some cash selling an array of junk. And mysterious wanderer and ex-soldier Nick Cochran (Mitchum) doesn't seem to have any real purpose in Macao, though the fact that he is from New York clues Holloran and his toadie police chief Sebastian (Thomas Gomez) into the fact that Cochran is there looking to take Holloran down for the murder of the other New York cop.

So begins a cat and mouse game involving guys in awesome old suits. Halloran hires Julie to sing in his nightclub and tries to pay Cochran to get the hell out of town. Cochran never seems overly interested or disinterested in Halloran's offers, but the two become wary business partners when Trumble -- who seems to be slightly more crooked than his "golly gee" exterior lets on -- brings Cochran in on a deal to sell a posh diamond necklace to Halloran. The only hitch is that the necklace is in Hong Kong, and if Halloran leaves Macao, the Hong Kong cops will nab him as soon as he's three miles off the coast. The only problem Cochran runs into with the deal is that Halloran recognizes the diamonds as coming from a necklace he himself is the owner of.

I'm frequently impressed by how lean yet well-developed the plots of so many old movies are. I mean, this is a pretty basic story: gangster kills a cop, hides out in a lawless haven, and another cop goes in to bring him out. And yet the plot is so expertly executed, the dialog is so good, and the actors are so committed to their roles that the movie becomes substantial. Modern movies rely heavily on convoluted, tangled plots and sub-plots to flesh out running time and compensate for bland or shallow characters. In Macao, the plot is secondary, just a way to explain why these people are here. The movie belongs to the actors, and it's a pretty fabulous cast. Russell is picture perfect as the femme fatale of the piece, tough and sassy but also kind and romantic when the time is right. She plays the disillusioned woman of the world well, never veering into the realm of caricature or over-the-top cartoonishness. She's thoroughly believable as Julie. Ditto our man Mitchum. Robert Mitchum is probably my all-time favorite actor. Everything about him is cool, and no man ever made high-waist pants look so slick. When he was younger, my grandpa Harley used to style himself after Mitchum as much as possible: same style of clothes, same hair, same swagger, and I have to say, if ever there was a man worthy of emulation, Robert Mitchum was certainly him. Brad Dexter is deliciously sinister as the big boss, who is equal parts businessman and gangster, more than happy to avoid conflict if he can bribe his way out of it. Rounding out the core cast, William Bendix is great as the amiable traveling salesman who is revealed to be more than he seems.

Mitchum and Russell were the reason the movie was made. After their successful pairing in His Kind of Woman (which is similar to Macao in some ways and features an outstanding performance by Vincent Price, among others), legendary producer and batshit insane dude with Kleenex boxes on his feet, Howard Hughes, was keen on making the most of the success of and chemistry between the two -- though it would seem that his primary goal was oriented far more around Russell than Mitchum, who was already an established leading man's man. And most of Hughes interest in building up Russell seemed to be focused on his enormous bustline rather than her acting prowess. Russell does a good job here, despite where Hughes' eyes may have been. I referred to her as a femme fatale, but that's not entirely correct, just as Macao isn't really film noir. She's not there to lead the hero to his destruction or anything. If the film has anything close to a femme fatale, it's Gloria Grahame as Holloran's number one dice thrower. For my money, Grahame's looks blow Russell out of the water, and her character here is a good mix of femme fatale and wounded lover. I would have loved to see her get a more substantial role in this movie.

And this movie belongs to them, the actors, not to the plot. This is definitely an actor's film, and the story is there to serve the development of these characters and their interaction with one another. The only real subplot involves Margie (Gloria Grahame), a woman in the employ of Halloran and who seems to be in love with her dashing but dangerous boss. She is none too happy when Julie shows up and catches Halloran's eye. But other than that, screenwriters keep things nice and streamlined.

If I haven't mentioned it before, I really dig old black and white "Chinatown intrigue" movies. I've gone over the key ingredients before: secret passages, elegant gambling clubs, sinister assassins with curved daggers lurking in the shadows. I can watch pretty much anything that contains these elements. Related to these Chinatown movies were movies set in China, usually in Hong Kong, with its intriguing blend of ancient Chinese mystery and recognizable to the West imperial British rule. You could spice up a mundane thriller pretty well if you simply plopped it down in "the Orient." Macao was directed by Josef von Sternberg, last seen here as the director of another fabulous "Orient noir" set in a lawless Casbah-esque location, 1941's The Shanghai Gesture. The two films would make a fabulous double bill (one could imagine that you'd catch a steamer from Shanghai to Macao and find it captained by Clark Gable a la China Seas). As with The Shanghai Gesture, and as with all of his films, von Sternberg applies meticulous detail to the look of his film. Despite the title and the setting, Macao is not steeped in Orientalism or exoticism. The key locations are a hotel and Halloran's nightclub, and although both bear the obvious stamp of being Chinese in design, neither is excessively so. The primary function of Macao isn't to be alien or exotic; it's to serve as a criminal haven. One could have just as easily set this film in The Casbah, or 1930s Shanghai, or any place where the threads of international law begin to fray and those who would cut them are able to find sanctuary. Unlike The Shanghai Gesture, Macao doesn't revel in or become intoxicated by the decadence of the setting. It is fairly sedate by comparison, though this shouldn't imply that it is in any way less elegant in its design. The men all look sharp, clad in tuxedos and pale, tropical weight suits. Jane Russell parades through the film in a number of swanky looking dresses and ornate pieces of jewelry.

Where as the casino in The Shanghai Gesture was a hallucinogenic, near dreamlike palace of vice and shady, doomed souls, Halloran's casino in Macao is much less symbolic affair. It is, by and large, simply a casino, treated by the art design as a place of business rather than as some twisted den of pleasure and destruction. Halloran's office is an office. It has nice decor, but it's just an office -- a far cry from Mother Gin Sling's ornate office that bordered on throne room. But both settings serve their inhabitant well. Halloran is, after all, a very real-world crooked businessman, and his main concern is maintaining his power and making cash. Gin Sling was a half-mad woman bent on revenge, and her primary goal was to destroy in the most elaborate way possible those she saw as having ruined her. Running a casino was little more than a means to the end of revenge.

I said earlier that Macao, despite coming from the era of the noir film and being a film about cops and criminals, isn't exactly noir. It certainly has elements of the noir film -- the mysterious and flawed protagonist, the powerful businessman/criminal, crooked cops, and a hard-as-nails dame -- but it lacks a certain claustrophobic bleakness (and close-ups of the faces of sweating guys in undershirts) that informs the noir film. We may have haunted characters, but they are not hopeless or self-destructive. Von Sternberg infuses Macao with less a sense of desperation and more a sense of adventure. Julie and Nick Cochran would be more at home among the ranks of globe-trotting thrill-seekers than they would the damned and depressed denizens of noir, and Macao has more in common with high-spirited adventure fare like China Seas than with noir films like A Touch of Evil. Despite being a crime film, Macao is just too snappy, and too much fun, to really be considered noir. It also sports a sense of humor, though it's hardly a comedy. Bedix's Trumble is the closest thing the movie comes to having a comic relief character, and he's hardly comic relief. He just gets in a few jokes. What comedy there is, is subdued and pretty effective. And there are no "wacky Oriental" characters (just an assassin and an old man), and at no point do I recall that musical snippet -- you know the one -- that usually plays whenever an Asian character enters a scene.

This was von Sternberg's final film, and by all accounts, it was a troubled production. Von Sternberg himself hadn't worked for a while when the infamous Howard Hughes tapped him as director for this film. Von Sternberg found Hughes an impossible producer who forced too many "meddling clowns" into the affair, and both Mitchum and Russell developed an intense dislike for von Sternberg on account of the way he treated his crew. Things got so bad that, at some point, Mitchum flat out refused to work with von Sternberg any further, and von Sternberg was summarily dismissed and replaced by top notch noir director Nicholas Ray (They Live By Night, In a Lonely Place, and later Rebel Without a Cause and King of Kings). Despite this, the film still remains largely the vision of von Sternberg. As with The Shanghai Gesture, it seems Macao is largely overshadowed by what many critics dwell on as his signature masterpiece, The Blue Angel.

Despite the troubled production and the need to call in Ray to finish (and reshoot much of) the film, I found Macao to be an extremely enjoyable adventure film, with a decent sense of romance, nice sets, and great cast anchored by the chemistry between Mitchum and Russell. A snappy script with a good sense of humor and a great (and surprising) twist make it, if not must-see swanky cinema, then at least should-see cinema.

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