Saturday, September 2, 2006Deathstalker Quartet
Watching any Ator movie will make you wonder just what it was that caused people to want a sequel, let alone a whole series of films. Deathstalker will inspire pretty much the same line of questioning, though the films are not as punishing as your average Ator experience. This is primarily because after the first Deathstalker film, someone realized the whole thing was pretty stupid and decided to play it all for laughs. The first Deathstalker film gives us very little out of the ordinary for a sword and sorcery genre, with the possible exception of female costar Lana Clarkson as a topless warrior woman throughout the whole thing. Deathstalker is out to retrieve some magic items before they can be abused by the resident evil king, and along the way he'll stop to fight in a tournament that proves instrumental to the plot of Deathstalker IV, not so much because of story continuity as much as it is because they reuse most of the scenes and outtakes to create the fourth film.
Undoing pretty much everything that was established in the first film, the second film in what would become a series does away with any sense of seriousness. John Terlesky, whose acting credentials include such crowd-pleasers as Chopping Mall and the Susanna Hoffs star vehicle The Allnighter, stars as a fairly lean, unmuscular Deathstalker with a bit of a gut, poofy 1980s hair and a Southern accent. All in all, it's a look that will make you think you're watching a barbarian Jason Hervey. He's the everyman Deathstalker. The sword and sorcery films were unique from their peplum forefathers in that while many of them featured muscular beefcake heroes, just as many cast guys who were generally only slightly more in shape than Ed O'Niell. In a move that would predate the "ancient modern" style of television shows like Hercules: The Legendary Journeys and Xena: Warrior Princess, everyone here slings around sly modern one-liners and references. When Deathstalker is forced to fight a rather full-figured Amazonian warrior in a wrestling match, his entry into the squared circle is accompanied by the theme from Rocky. When Deathstalker is tied down in a Pit and the Pendulum type predicament, they lampoon (or just rip off) Goldfinger with the exchange, 'Do you expect me to talk?" "No, I expect you to die." When Deathstalker is trapped in a room where the walls close in on him, he simply sighs and comments on the lack of originality in such a booby trap. This film even has the nerve to use the line, "Deathstalker, is that your sword or are you just happy to see me?" There are two exchanges in particular that succeed fairly well at communicating the comic intentions of the film. When Deathstalker first meets the wayward princess Evie (disguised as a beggar seer named Reena), she asks him, "So you rob from the rich and give to poor?" to which he responds, "I rob from the rich and pretty much keep it for myself." Later, they duo escape an attempt on their lives and Deathstalker brags, "You have to get up pretty early in the morning to catch the prince of thieves." When they are then immediately set upon by attackers, Evie announces, "But it is pretty early in the morning!" Amid all the antics and tomfoolery, the film also contains a fair bit of action. Granted the wrestling scene goes on a tad too long, but the movie makes up for it with slow-moving zombies, lots of fights, and the same laid-back sense of swashbuckling that made Sword and Sorcerer such a treat. Continuing yet another of the many clichEs that would arise in the sword and sorcery genre, there is indeed an orgy scene. Conan was the first to include the orgy scene (which generally segues immediately into a "brawl in the orgy room" scene), and the sword and sorcery films that didn't follow suit are few and far between, indeed. Even the PG ones often managed to throw in some scene consisting of a chamber full of scantily clad people writhing all about while that lute and flute music plays. "Why do I always seem to run into princesses?" the third actor playing Deathstalker muses during the third film, and one has to wonder the same thing. Taking a cue from the Hercules films of old, Deathstalker can't seem to walk a dozen paces without stumbling across some wayward princess on the run from some evil villain who has usurped her land and ushered in a reign of terror. And true to the peplum code of old, they usually fall in love with him, though unlike the films of old, it usually takes more than a scene or two for the two to become smitten. That way you get to have lots of "urbane banter" as the two argue amongst themselves during the inevitable quest. The twist here is that there are two princesses, and in order to cut down on costs by only having to hire a single actress, they are identical twins. One is good, and hires Deathstalker to help her fight against the most recent evil warlord. The other is not as good, as she is willing to become the wife of the warlord if it means he will stop sending out his troops to indiscriminately slaughter people -- which he must do since all sword and sorcery films need a scene of soldiers in black armor slaughter peasants. As with the second one, this movie is played primarily for laughs, though it isn't as successful since this Deathstalker, played by John Allen Nelson, is a more ambitious (but not exactly better) actor. That means he tries to do more than just wander around looking amused and confused like Terlesky, but he's not actually good enough to pull it off. The jokes and one-liners don't come nearly as often either. Terlesky at least had an ample sense of humor and a sense of timing. Deathstalker III is sort of like watching a really bad vaudeville act. Where the film really loses (or picks up) fans is with the villain. Rare I would assume are the casting directors who, when looking for someone to play a charismatic but thoroughly evil warlord, tell their underlings to find them "someone who looks a lot like Gene Siskel, only goofier." After the last two relatively goofy but fun entries in the series, part four attempts to return to the "spirit of the original." As any film fan can tell you, any movie that "returns to the spirit of the original" is bad news, not to mention bad cinema, especially when the original was a fairly lame movie. The weird thing is that this movie can't even pull off the original spirit of something as mediocre as the first Deathstalker film. Instead of an overly serious film like part one, or an overly goofy film like parts two and three, part four is just sort of there. Deathstalker is played once again by Rick Hill, who starred in the first film as well. Made in 1992, well after the sword and sorcery craze had died out, Deathstalker IV throws its entire lack of budget onto the screen for all to see. In much the same way that the later peplum films were gladiator romps with none of the flare or mythical fantasy of the earlier films, so too is this film little more than a gladiator film, albeit a gladiator film where they couldn't even afford an arena. Deathstalker takes part on one of those "tournament of warriors" type deals, where the evil princess in charge kidnaps the best fighters and turns them into stone warriors. For some reason, Deathstalker is the only one who seems to notice lots of people are missing. Most of the movie is spent watching Deathstalker sneak down corridors, or watching guys wrestle each other in a dirt patch while everyone gathers around them. As far as tournaments go, this one has all the pomp and circumstance of a schoolyard scuffle. From time to time, aware no doubt that the viewer must be nodding off, they throw in a bout between female warriors whose breasts inevitably pop out of their tops to the delight of all. In case you were worried, yes there is an orgy scene, though in keeping in line with the budget, it only contains about four people. It was obvious years earlier that the sword and sorcery genre had run out of steam, but they made this movie anyway, and there's precious little to recommend about it other than a few nice looking female warriors. Deathstalker IV is like those hair metal bands that came out with albums a couple years too late. It's the Danger Danger of the sword and sorcery genre. The action is bland. The fantasy element in the form of the stone warriors is incredibly uninteresting. There's not much to recommend about this film other than that you not see it. In fact, even if you don't see it but have seen part one, you've already seen parts of this since it borrows liberally from stock footage from the original -- I guess that's what they meant by getting back to the spirit of the original. The name of the executive producer is Roger Corman, and any film fan worth their salt knows what that means. Corman was the king of the ultra-quick cheapie film, and he certainly lives up to his title with this movie. Director Howard Cohen made quite a name for himself in the world of exploitation cinema reaching far back to the beginning of the 1970s. Aside from directing Deathstalker III and IV, he also directed the two Barbarian Queen films as well as exploitation "classics" like Saturday the 14th and its rarely seen sequel (not that seeing the original is all that common these days), Emmanuelle V, Vampire Hookers, Death Force, Young Nurses, Cover Girl Models, and 1985's Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer. posted by Keith at 3:26 PM |
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