Wow! What isn't great about this film? It has everything a person could want. Gold lamé bikini kungfu, lurid crotch shots as the female ninjas do stretching exercises in their panties, flying ninjas, oil wrestling, Cadillacs, platform shoes, samurai warriors who look like Riff Raff from Rocky Horror Picture Show (when he was wearing the fishnet stockings, shiny skirt, and big shoes), and all kinds of other stuff like that.

The movie opens with our attractive red-clad ninja woman going through that official "ninja camp graduation" thing where you have to run through the woods and fight other ninjas. She beats them by using such clever tactics as flying and flinging off all her clothes and spinning around in her pink panties. That's some pretty good kungfu, right there. She graduates from ninja school, but just as in every other ninja movie ever made, one of the senior ninjas is pissed off about an outsider (in this case, a woman) becoming a ninja.

Of course, historically speaking, there were lots of female ninjas. Women tended to make the best ninjas because so few people expected them to be well-trained death-dealers. One minute they are walking toward you, demure and proper in their kimonos, and the next second, you're wondering why the hell your head is on the ground a few feet away from your body while a woman in a pink bikini with a sword is flying away through the woods.

But in the world of weird kungfu films, there are no women ninjas, and the ninjas who do exist blend in with society by wearing bright red ninja suits. The woman has been training in the martial arts in order to avenge her family's murder -- isn't that always the case? She has to train her own army of female ninjas to help her. Female ninja training, of course, consists of lots of back bends and splits while the camera is focused on your crotch. Also, female ninjas must always work out in short shorts or panties. It's tradition, you know.

This movie is supposed to be set during World War II, I think. The evil Japanese guards are all bald transvestites, everyone has a Cadillac, and the women wear mini-skirts and platform go-go boots, just like in World War II! A lot of kungfu films are set in a magical time that is an amalgamation of the past 400 years or so. Just check out Fantasy Mission Force, or if you want a Western example, watch the Dark Shadows television show, where all the men dress like 19th century gothic villains, but all the women wear tight sweaters and mini-skirts.

When the woman finally gets around to revenge, there is lots of cheesecake fighting in underwear. The lady ninja must fight the head evil lady ninja, so they strip down into their bikinis (the evil one has strategically placed handprints on it!) and roll around in the "water." I call it water, but it has this strange, glycerin gel quality to it, sort of like it's actually baby oil instead of water.

The martial arts fight between these two consists of lots of slipping and rolling around in the baby oil. While it may not be fight choreography on par with early 1980s Sammo Hung work, it still manages to be the greatest fight scene ever filmed. Most of the martial arts are, well, worse than you probably think, and if you are like me, you're thinking they are probably pretty bad. But y'know, you watch kungfu movies for kungfu. You watch sexy female ninja exploitation films for sexy female ninjas, and this film is a resounding success in that sense.