I finished Inca Death Squad in one sitting, in between finishing a particularly sweaty and arduous hike in Dominica and sitting down for rum and grilled chicken in an open-air rooftop bar and restaurant as the sun set over the water. By my side, a black-haired beauty in a swaying white linen skirt and cranberry red silk top. For a brief moment in my life, I thought to myself, "Son of a bitch. I got it better than Nick Carter today." Of course, Nick was soon embroiled in a threesome with two hot, big-breasted, wanton Cuban sisters, but he was also being kicked in the testicles by a sadistic, blubbery Russian diplomat. All things considered, I came out ahead that day.

Inca Death Squad is another lean, no-nonsense Nick Carter adventure that delivers plenty of thrills and cheap titillation for the brief amount of time you'll invest in reading it. This time around, Nick is rented out to the KGB, of all organizations, to protect a disgusting, obnoxious Russian diplomat who is touring the recently Communist country of Chile. Technically, all he's supposed to do is deliver a new bullet-proof vest to the pig, but anyone could have done that, so it's obvious that there's going to be much more than delivery on Nick Carter's plate full o' espionage.

It turns out that the Chinese are hoping to start their own inter-Communist revolution by baking some pro-Commie, anti-Russia rebels, thus allowing them to flex some muscle in South America. The Russians can't bear to see the Chinese get a foothold anywhere in the world outside of China and North Korea, so they double their efforts to show good will toward the Chilean people while stamping out the pro-China Chilean rebels. Nick Carter, Agent N3 for AXE, is assigned to protect the touring Russian ambassador because the KGB knows they are at a loss for good agents right now, and this is too important to let ego stand in the way. The Chinese and their sympathizers want to assassinate the Russian ambassador to show off Russia's weakness as well as have it serve as the signal for the start of a revolution that will sweep through South America.

The United States would prefer there be no Communists at all in South America, but well...better the devil you know than the one you don't. While the U.S. and Russia may be on opposite sides of the Cold War, at least we understand them. The Chinese are a much tougher nut to crack. So Nick Carter gets saddled with protected an obnoxious Russian and sniffing out the pro-Chinese rebel cells before the continent gets swept up in a Chinese-orchestrated revolution.

The usual host of complications arise to make Nick's job a pain in the neck. The ambassador is a boorish, petty, cowardly sex fiend. He surrounds himself with a stable of dissatisfied female playthings who are practically knocking one another over in the mad dash to get a little play from a real man like Nick Carter. And trying to defend an uncooperative ass while touring rugged, unfamiliar territory is bad enough without being stalked by a giant, well-trained Chilean assassin dressed up like an ancient Incan warrior.

As with most Nick Carter adventures from the 60s and 70s, it's a breezy, non-stop thrill ride that never lets itself get bogged down in excess. Well, maybe there's a little excess in the parade of hungry women that crawl into Nick's sleeping bag, but we expect that from the man. There are also plenty of shoot-outs, an undeveloped but never-the-less solid KGB supporting cast, a perfectly vile villain in need of protection, hot Cuban ladies, and even a fight between Nick Carter and a fighter jet in the desert. It's sort of like The Motorcycle Diaries, Nick Carter style.

Inca Death Squad knows exactly what a reader wants from a Nick Carter book, then delivers it expertly and without flaw. Outrageous action, exotic locations, and playful sleaze -- that's what we demand from the Killmaster, and that's exactly what we get in this book. Apparently, this particular Killmaster adventure was penned by Martin Cruz Smith, which might explain why it's so tightly plotted and fast-paced. Smith is best known as the author of the acclaimed thriller Gorky Park, and it's pretty easy to see all the elements that would go into his later, slightly more respectable work. We get both a more intricate look at the Russian side of the equation (as well as a couple Russians who are, if not heroic, at least sympathetic characters) and the inclusion of some South American flavor -- something that foreshadows Smith's Gorky Park sequel, Havana Bay, in which the Russian cop Arkady Renko finds himself embroiled in intrigue in Cuba. Smith obviously isn't the only high-profile writer to ply his trade behind the mask of the anonymously-written Nick Carter adventures. I'd like to see someone with more time and information (i.e., I'm too lazy to do it myself) compile a big list of the writers responsible for the stories. I think we'd see all sorts of familiar names. Whatever the case, Inca Death Squad is a good example of what a talented writer can do within the tight confines of the Nick Carter/espionage potboiler formula.

As a way to pass a hundred minutes when you're too tired and sore for much of anything else, you'd be hard pressed to find a better time than pouring yourself a glass of Soca rum and sitting out on the wind-kissed veranda, Inca Death Squad in hand, as the sun sink low over the lush, green rain forest and white-capped turquoise waves crash against the cliffs below. Nick Carter, as always, I raise my glass to you.

Labels: Espionage, Series: Nick Carter